


Blood of the Moonflower

by WhiteDove23



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Anbu Mebiku Haruno, Anxiety, Chakra Theory, Child Abuse, Chuunin Exams, Dancing, Dark, Deaf Character, Derealization, F/M, Haruno Sakura-centric, Insecurity, Language Barrier, M/M, Minor Injuries, Narcissism, Panic Attacks, Permanent Injury, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rock Lee-Centric, Romance, Self-Esteem Issues, Serious Injuries, Sexual Harassment, Sign Language, Suicidal Thoughts, Teen Romance, Wholesome Might Guy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:22:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 36
Words: 158,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28849758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteDove23/pseuds/WhiteDove23
Summary: Might Guy adopts four year old Rock Lee and moves in next door to Sakura's family. As best friends, they grow up together, sharing dreams, promises, and cupcakes. Then the unexpected happens and everything changes. Through thick and thin, they've got each other's back, or so they think. Dark secrets, betrayal, and uncharted territories lead Sakura and Lee to discover the ones we love can hurt us the most, and the path of the Shinobi is often a labyrinth.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Rock Lee, Hatake Kakashi & Maito Gai | Might Guy, Hyuuga Neji/Tenten, Sai/Yamanaka Ino
Comments: 24
Kudos: 50





	1. Sakura: Sowing a Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are welcomed and appreciated.  
> ~Thank you.

Sneaky. Like a mouse. All Hidden Leaf shinobi were, and Sakura was too. Creeping out of her room, she tiptoed down the stairs, one creaked and she froze, holding her breath. Oh no! A few seconds … behind her, Mommy’s bedroom door stayed shut. Whew... Stupid stairs! Across the living room, armed with her backpack, brimming with notebooks and crayons, and her pretty sparkle green lunchbox, a present from Guy-sensei for getting into the Academy. She opened the front door. Yes! Sneaky, like Mommy!

Outside, she plopped on her front stoop and shivered. All the houses were super tall and squashed together, deep in the heart of the Hidden Leaf village, like one big wall painted different colors. Brrr, the wind was angry this morning! But she stayed, even though the stairs made her bottom cold. It’s important to have energy for class! The neighboring door swung open with a loud bang and a boy popped out, she jumped up, throwing her arms around him.

“Lee!” Oh wait, shh! Sakura whispered, “Good morning.”

“Good morning! I hope you haven’t waited long!” Lee didn’t whisper.

“Nope,” She said. “Thank you for walking with me.”

“Of course! I’m honored to deliver you to your very first day of ninja training!” Lee said, holding out his arm. “Ready?”

“Yeah!” Well... it was scary. What if she was bad at everything? What if no one liked her? What if she wasn’t smart enough, or fast enough? What if she was too far behind? Maybe they would tell her to leave, and then she would have to go home, and she would cry-

“Are you nervous?” Lee asked. She nodded, kicking a rock down the road. “I may not be in your class, but our spirits will be in sync the entire time! Remember, if I can do it, you can do it!” Of course! If she wasn’t enough, she would work harder!

“You’re right! Thank you!” Sakura hugged him, squeezing until he hugged her back, coughing a little.

“Ack, with that grip, you’ll be fine!” He said. Sakura giggled.

Beyond the streets of the downtown area, at the base of Hokage Mountain, their school came into view: a plain, three story beige rectangle covered in wooden roof tiles wrapped a rusty red paneling. They were really here!

“Race you to the steps!” Lee shouted.

“Okay! Three, two, one, go!” Sakura said, then broke into a run, feet pounding the sidewalk. He got there first, grabbing the rail. Lee was gonna be a taijutsu master and she was gonna to be the best shinobi she could! “Friends forever!”

“Ninjas together!” He finished, grinning. “Ready for a tour?”

Lee showed her all the important places, like the bathroom! She was so lucky, without Lee, she’d be so super lost! Wandering teachers waved or smiled, each wearing the same uniform. Why did they get uniforms but not the students? Sakura wanted a uniform! Maybe a cuter one, with more bows. They stopped at her classroom.

“Okay! My class is right down the hall if you need me.” Lee said. “You can come any time!” He gave her a thumbs up.

“Really?” She asked. “But what if -?” 

“Anything, no matter what!” Lee said, “I promise it’s okay!”

“Okay!” Sakura said, hugging him one last time, then she straightened her spine and went inside, tiptoeing super quiet. Most seats were empty, she chose the desk by the door.

Iruka-sensei was scrawled on the blackboard. Students filed in, chairs scraped against tile, chattering as the bell rang. Much louder than her, maybe Iruka-sensei noticed! Fifteen students, how many were from clans? Probably so many, like Mommy said.

“Good morning, my name is Iruka. Let’s go around and introduce yourselves, tell us a little about you, starting here up front.” Iruka-sensei said, tapping her desk. Oh, her first? Did she have to? Taking a breath, she stood.

“I’m Sakura Haruno! Nice to meet you!” She said. “Umm, and I like… rain!” Whew... she sat and took out her notebook. Rain? Really? Oh well, time to memorize everyone!

After school, Sakura sat on the front steps and waited for Lee. Yelling students shuffled by, brushing her shoulder, she scooted out of the way. Hopefully he’d be out soon. A girl with purple hair stomped down the steps and stood at the end of the rail. The sea became a trickle of bigger kids, who were even louder! Where was Lee? She would wait, no matter what!

“You’re ugly with that giant forehead.” The girl said, arms crossed. Huh? “I said you’re ugly! Are you stupid too?”

“Me?” Sakura looked around, but the other kids were ignoring them. “What did I do?” Where was Lee?

“I saw you kissing up to Iruka-sensei in class, it’s not gonna work. If you’re stupid, he can’t save you.” She said, getting in her face.

“G-go away.” Sakura muttered, covering her head.

“Ami, leave her alone.” An older boy grabbed her hand and pulled her down the steps “Time to go home.”

“Noo, Hōsei! I’m telling Mom!”

Sakura crawled up the steps and tucked herself behind the door, clutching her lunchbox. If no one saw her, they’d leave her alone. Where’s Lee? A group of three walked out, slamming the door against the rail, and Sakura cried out. It almost hit her!

“Hey,” he said, black stripe of hair wiggling as he moved. “Look guys, a little first year’s tryin’ to hide.” Oh no! She hugged her knees.

“They’re so tiny. I swear they’re getting smaller.” The second had buzzed brown hair, crooked teeth, and stinky breath.

“Right? She’s so li’l.” The third said, voice cracking. He poked her forehead, pushing her against the wall, “‘Cept this.” Covering her head again, she sniffled. No crying!

“Stop it,” She pushed his hand and glared. “Go away.” They laughed. What was so funny?

“Alright little lady, I’m Saburo, this is Kentaro and Itsu.” He said. “We’re the top ninja around here. If you’re nice, maybe we’ll teach you. Your concealment jutsu sucks.”

“No, go away!” Sakura said, tucking her arms to hide her shaking hands, he snatched her lunchbox. “Give that back!” She couldn’t let anyone take it!

“Lesson one, don’t let your guard down.” Kentaro said, holding it up. She glared, tears pricking her eyes. “Ask nicely.”

“Please give it back?” They laughed.

“Come take it.” Saburo said, raising it high, but she shook her head, sniffling. “You're gonna need to toughen up if you’re gonna make it around here.” He tossed it at her feet.

“Go away.” She said.

“Haha, alrigh’, we’re goin’.” Itsu said. “But we’re takin’ a bunch o’ li’l kids to the trainin’ grounds. You ‘oughta come.”

“No, I don’t know you, go away.”

“Trust me, you need it.” Kentaro laughed and they left. Why was everyone so mean? She picked up her box and cleaned it off on her skirt. The door banged open and Lee flew past her, kicking up dust.

“Sakura! I’m so sorry!” He yelled. “Sakura?”

“Lee! I’m behind you!” She said, jumping up and down.

“Tell me all about your first day!”

“Okay, then your turn!”

Skipping down the dusty streets, she told him the names of all of her classmates and teacher. She turned it into a song, which Lee said was the best way to remember things.

“Sasuke, Hinata, Ino and Shino! Kiba, Choji, Naruto and Fuki! Shikamaru-” Happy Birthday was the only tune she knew, soon Lee was singing with her.

“Now you can run with me and Dad in the morning!” Lee said as made it to their porches, “And after homework, we can train!”

“Okay!” She said, hand on her door handle. “Meet you out back?” 

“Yes! Hurry, Dad will be home soon.” He said, going inside. Sakura slipped off her sandals and wandered into the kitchen.

“Hi Mommy!” Sakura put her lunchbox by the sink.

“Hey.” Mommy said, sipping a red drink from a glass, perched on the countertop. Mommy was so beautiful, dressed in her Anbu uniform, honey blonde hair pulled into a loose messy bun, painted red lips; she held up a frozen pizza.

“Yes please!” Sakura said, then pulled open the sliding door to head out back. Lee was already by their tree.

“Not so fast, young lady.” Mommy said, gripping her hand. She was fast! “You remember our agreement?” Sakura nodded, she remembered.

“Can I do it after? Guy-sensei is -”

“No! You know how much that academy is costing me? Ungrateful little brat! Get upstairs right now and do as you’re told. We’re going to have a serious talk later about respect. Now go!”

“Yes Mommy, I’m sorry.” Sakura said, bowing her head, sniffling.

“And quit your crying.” Mommy said.

“Yes Mommy.” Sakura wiped her face on her dress and ran upstairs.

Why did she argue? She should’ve done chores first, now she was in trouble. Tiptoeing into Mommy’s room, she snuck past the Anbu mask sitting on her long dresser and shivered. In her nightmares, it’s mouth was filled with rows of pointy, glittering red teeth, and chomped her to bits. Giving it a wide berth, Sakura dragged the laundry hamper into the hall and went into the bathroom. 

Hopefully Lee wasn’t mad, probably wondering where she was. Or he and Guy-sensei were playing without her. Scrubbing the tub, she felt wet tears slide down her cheeks. No, don’t! Or Mommy would be even more mad! It was her own fault, Sakura promised she’d do extra chores if she got into ninja school. Climbing onto the sink, she kneeled on the edge and wiped the mirror.

“Sakura?” Lee’s voice called from the hallway. Huh?

“In here.” She turned, losing balance, and tumbled backward. “Woah!” Something soft cushioned her fall. Lee caught her! How did he do that?

“Ouch, are you okay?” Lee asked, wincing.

“Are you okay?” Sakura asked. “Yes, but -”

“I’m okay!” He smiled, “Be careful climbing high places.”

“I’m sorry...” She said, helping him up, “Aren’t you gonna go play?”

“But you weren’t there. Ms. Haruno said you had to do chores, so I came to help! Dad is talking to her.”

“Oh, I’m almost done! I’m sorry.”

Time to finish super fast! She wiped down the sink and they carried the basket downstairs, circling through the living room to sneak behind the adults. The basement door was in the kitchen corner, a narrow, rickety wooden staircase going into a musty, cobweb filled den and Sakura hated it! It was wet and gross and full of spiders! Dumping the clothes into the wash, she pushed the button, and they raced back up, then outside.

“Today, hide and seek!” Lee said, hands on his hips.

“There’s not many hiding places back here.” Sakura said. Their yard was a large open field with only one tree. Some neighbors had fences, but not them!

“Then it will be a real challenge!” Lee said. “If we’re caught within five, no, eight minutes, I’m gonna do a hundred laps!” Wow!

“That’s so many! Okay, so where do we hide?”

“I got it!” Lee pulled her behind their big oak tree, beside the berry bush. “If Dad finds us, we split up and run!” She nodded. They didn’t have to wait long. A booming, deep voice called out.

“Well, well, I wonder where those two silly kids have gone.” Guy-sensei’s footsteps approached, snapping twigs and crunching grass.

Sakura covered her mouth, shhh! No giggles! Squeezing Lee’s hand, she pressed into his side as Guy-sensei got closer and closer. Through the bush, she spotted his feet. Could he see them? Crouching, Lee tugged her hand and they crawled around the tree as he circled towards them.

“Hmm, no Lee over here... no Sakura up there…” She held her breath, no don’t do that! Breathe slow, he’s coming! Any second, they’d have to run!

“Heehe,” Lee giggled.

“What was that? A laugh? Or maybe just a squirrel? Hmm...”

“Shh!” Sakura covered his mouth. She giggled too. Oh no!

“Ha! I gotcha!” Guy-sensei leapt around the corner and they screamed. Run!

Sakura ran into the field, while Lee went towards the house. She kept running, but Guy-sensei scooped her up in no time, Lee under his other arm, sticking his tongue out. She stuck hers out and they laughed.

“I think that means I win!” Guy-sensei said with a big smile.

“Can we play again?” Lee asked.

“Yes! Can we please?” Sakura pleaded.

“Pizza’s ready.” Mom called, leaning out the back door. 

“Later.” Guy-sensei dropped them on their feet and put his arms out. Sakura jumped up and latched on, feet dangling. “Today’s reward for hanging on is a secret!” If they both made it to the patio, they won! Oh no, her fingers were slipping! Why was he walking so slow! “That patio sure is far away! I might have to take a rest!”

“Noo!” Lee said. She peeked behind Guy-sensei, Lee used his arms. How did he do that? She tried, but ended up sliding even more. No, fingers!

“Whew, you kids are getting heavy, I’ll just stand here a moment.” He stopped, raised his arms up, and yawned.

“Guy-sensei!” Sakura whined, she was gonna fall! Dropping with a squeak, her sandals hit concrete. Oh...

“We did it!” Lee said, “We’ll be right there!” He and Guy-sensei went home to wash up. Yay! Ducking inside, Sakura cleaned her hands, then pulled plates out for everyone.

“Hold it,” Mom put one back, “Not you. Get Lee’s and go sit while I decide if you deserve dinner.” Oh right, she argued.

“Yes Mommy.” Sakura said as the sliding door opened. She set Lee’s dinner on the living room table, then got herself a glass of water.

“Guy, I’m sorry, do you mind? I have to go in early tonight, there’s been a… well, I’m sure you heard.”

“Not one bit, give Lord Hokage my regards.”

In the living room, Sakura sat at the table, Lee soon joined her. Oh no, she had grass stains from crawling. If Mom saw, she might be in even more trouble.

“Where’s yours?” Lee asked, picking up a slice.

“I have to wait.” She said. “But it’s okay.” Hopefully Mom wasn’t too angry.

“Oh...then I will wait with you!” He said, putting it down. But it will get cold! “Do you wanna see if Dad will let us practice throwing kunai later?”

“Yeah!”

“If either of you can get a bulls-eye, I’ll take you both to the training grounds tomorrow!” Guy-sensei said leaning against the doorway with a slice. If they had more chairs, he could sit... Sakura moved to stand, but he shook his head.

“Yes!” Lee shouted. Sakura caught Mom’s frown before she slipped on her mask, so she stayed quiet.

“Be good.” Mom said. Sakura nodded, but stopped when she crossed her arms.

“Yes Mommy.” She said as Mom kneeled beside Lee, lifting her mask to peck the side of his head.

“I don’t have to tell you, though, do I?” She smiled and stood, “There’s more pizza if you want.”

“Thank you, Ms. Haruno.”

“Aww, so polite. Okay, I’m out.” She went to the door, “Later, Guy.”

After she left, Guy-sensei brought her dinner too, she thanked him. Maybe she wasn’t in trouble? When they finished, they went to his house, Lee and Sakura begged to play hide and seek again, but he had an even better idea!

“Since Mission: Reach the Patio was a success, I’m assigning you a new mission: Operation Homework Hut! Now, the key to a perfect fort is sheets, clothespins, and creativity!” He said, “You have twenty minutes! Ready? Go!”

Doing homework in a blanket fort was way cool! They brought the kitchen chairs into the living room and draped blankets, with an opening facing the couch where Guy-sensei looked over their backpacks. Probably, anyway, since she could only see his legs. Sprawled out over layers of blankets and pillows, she flipped through her workbook. Pages four and five... Beside her, Lee fidgeted.

“Can we take a break? I wanna go outside.” Lee complained, “Why do ninja have to learn math?” Huh… why did they?

“Maybe it teaches us to withstand torture.” Sakura said, Guy-sensei burst out laughing and her face warmed.

“No way that’s true.” Lee said, “Is it, Dad?”

“Of course not, my little moptop,” He said. “But a shinobi must have a strong mind as well as a strong body. Besides, torture’s rarely employed these days.”

“Don’t lie to them, Guy.” A new, soft voice said. “Mental torture is widely embraced among the five great nations.”

“Kakashi! At least take your Anbu mask off, no need to frighten them.” Guy-sensei said, patting the seat beside him. Then he was up and gone, “Is everything alright?”

“Y-yeah…”

“Lee, who’s Mr. Kakashi?” Sakura whispered.

“He’s Dad's eternal rival in all things!” Lee said, not whispering. “They have challenges all the time to prove who’s the best, but the scores are super close and sometimes even tied!”

“Wow, really?” Mr. Kakashi must be amazing!

“When you two are finished, you can go outside.” Guy-sensei said, crouching in front of their tent.

“Can we sleep in here tonight?” Lee asked, “Please?”

“Alright, but no staying up too late.”

“Okay!” They chorused.

The next morning, Sakura sat up and yawned. Eh? Where was she? Oh right! She crawled out and ran upstairs, brushed her teeth, then went into Lee’s closet, digging to find her stayover clothes. All dressed, she went to the end of the hall and sat at the top of the staircase with her backpack.

“Good morning Sakura!” Lee bounced up the steps, all sweaty from his run.

“Good morning Lee!” She said. Guy-sensei appeared from around the corner and stood at the base of the steps. “Hi Guy-sensei!” Sakura hopped to her feet. Ready!

“Ah, wait for Lee.” He said, grinning. Oh right.

“Sorry, I am ready now!” Lee ran up, hair damp from a shower. Fastest shower ever! 

“Okay Sakura.” Guy-sensei said and Sakura leapt off the stairs into his arms. Best hugs! She didn’t have to go home this time, she was going to school!

“I love you, Guy-sensei.” He kissed her head and set her down, then Lee jumped next.

“I love you Dad.”

“I love you both.” He said, wiping tears from his eyes, “Aww, come on, you don’t want to be late.” Ushering them into the kitchen, a man in Anbu clothes was sipping coffee, leaning against the counter. Mr. Kakashi maybe? Oh she almost forgot!

“Guy-sensei?” Sakura tugged his sleeve and handed him a green ribbon, “Can you put this on me please?” Smiling, he knelt and tied a big bow on top of her head, she kissed his cheek. “Thank you!” Hers were always crooked!

“Be safe, you two.” He said, “See you after school!”

“We will!” They chorused, heading out.

Class only got better and better. Over the next few weeks, Iruka-sensei got them started on so many things! It would be a long time before she was as good as her teacher, but one day! Iruka-sensei was so cool! Other kids didn’t seem as excited. Well, except for Naruto, he wanted to be a ninja maybe more than she did, but he seemed to think was already.

How could they be so relaxed about ninja training? Was it because they were from ninja clans? Maybe they knew this stuff already. If her classmates had a head start, how would she catch up? They might kick her out! She didn’t have special skills like the others. The Hidden Leaf might decide they didn’t need an ordinary person, then what would she do?

“Naruto!” Iruka-sensei jumped up from his chair before he sat. Oh no, another prank? “What is this?” He held out his hands in disgust.

“It’s lotion.” Naruto said, grinning. “I thought you were lookin’ kinda dry, Iruka-sensei.”

“All over my shirt - ugh, I’ll be right back. No talking while I’m gone, Naruto you’re coming with to clean up this mess.” Iruka-sensei said, dragging his chair out the door, giggling Naruto in tow. 

The second he was gone, the class erupted with chatter. Sakura pulled out her notebook to look over her homework. Where was her lunchbox?! Did she lose it? It wasn’t in her bag, or under her chair. Maybe she dropped it? No, she would’ve noticed, right? Tears pooled, she blinked until they were gone. She needed it! Her notebook was snatched from her desk, Ami stood over her.

“Hey!”

“Is this your diary?” She flipped through it, another girl joined her. “What’s with the stupid bow? Tryin’ to hide your ugly?” Sakura hunched her shoulders and sank. Was she? Maybe... “You can’t, it’s your whole face, stupid. It just shows off your forehead even more.”

“N-no,” Sakura pulled it from her hair, letting her pink locks hide her face, “I was-”

“Creepy, why do you have everyone’s names in here?” Fuki said. Huh? Oh no, her song! “Were you taking notes on us?” That got attention, kids nearby started listening. Biting her lip, Sakura swallowed back her tears, a ball lodged in her throat, and shook her head.

“Please give it back.” She managed to choke out, sniffling.

“Oh, this one’s about you, Shino, ‘likes bugs, is super nice,’ I think she has a crush on you!” Ami laughed. Everyone was quiet, and Sakura kept her head down, fiddling with the ribbon. Don’t cry, don’t cry, it’ll be worse, but her eyes didn’t listen.

“Leave her alone.” Ino said, stalking over, hands on her hips. “Quit being jerks!” Huh?

“Don’t you wanna know what it says about you?” Fuki asked, smirking. “Everyone’s in here.” It was only what they said to the class. Was it bad? Covering her face, Sakura bit back a sob. She just wanted to remember everyone.

“Uh... “ Ino faltered. Don’t cry, don’t cry! Sakura wanted to run and hide, or disappear, but she was frozen.

“Pass it here.” 

“Lemme see.” 

The door clicked, students scrambled back to their seats, and before she knew what she was doing, Sakura grabbed her bag, and fled, pushing past Iruka-sensei and Naruto.

“Woah, hey- !” Iruka-sensei followed, but she ran into the girl’s restroom, curled up in a stall, and sobbed. “Sakura? What happened?” 

“N-nothing.” She stammered, trembling. Stupid crybaby! Mommy would be so angry... outside, Iruka-sensei sighed.

“I’ll come check on you in a bit, okay?” Footsteps walked away.

How could she go back to class? Everyone hated her... Stupid, losing her lunchbox, hiding in the bathroom like a baby. Lee would probably even think so. Maybe she shouldn’t be a shinobi, she wasn’t brave at all...

But she promised Lee. If she wasn’t brave enough, then she’d have to fix it! Standing up, she wiped her eyes and went into the hall, glancing at Lee’s classroom... No, don’t bother him! School was almost over anyway. Walking to her room, she knocked before she lost her nerve, and Iruka-sensei let her in. Without looking at anyone, she sat at her desk. At least her notebook was back.

After school, Lee came out earlier than normal and sat with her. 

“Did you have a bad day?” He asked and she nodded. “Not to worry, tomorrow will be better!”

“Yeah!” She said, smiling, she would find her lunch box tomorrow!

Behind them, a familiar trio pushed through the doors. Oh no! They wouldn’t leave her alone! Ever since she started, they would see her waiting, and get all pushy, stealing her things. They should’ve left as soon as Lee came out, now he’s got to deal with them too.

“So, shorty, you comin’?” Itsu asked, “You ain’t tough enough, how many times we gotta prove it?”

“I told you no a million times.” Sakura said. He stomped over and grabbed her head, backing her into the rail. “S-stop it!” Lee swatted his hand away, and they laughed.

“Come on,” Saburo whined. “Quit bein’ a baby.”

“You scared? I thought you wanted to be a ninja.” Kentaro taunted, then held up her lunchbox. “You want this back?” How did he get it? She jumped for it, but he raised it higher.

“Give it back to Sakura!” Lee said and Saburo pushed him.

“This don’ concern you, you pro’ly need it too, wuss.”

“Stop it, I’ll go! But promise you’ll leave us alone! And Lee can come if he wants.” She said. Maybe they’ll finally stop.

“Go where?” Lee asked, standing, “Sakura, I don’t like this.”

“We got a trainin’ session goin’. Y’know, helpin’ you li’l ones ‘fore we graduate. ‘Cuz we’re nice.” Itsu answered. “Shorty got ‘vited.”

“Yeah, you can come too, I guess.” Kentaro said. “Come on!” He grabbed Sakura’s arm and dragged her to the back of the school.

“Stop it!”

“Let go of her!”

The training area was a rough, dirt ground field with sparse patches of grass from years of trampling students. Choji and Shikamaru were sitting, looking bored. Surely they didn’t need extra training? Where were all the kids they said? Kentaro let her go and dropped a backpack, scraps of paper spilled out.

“Now what?” Sakura asked, crossing her arms. They were big and tall... she didn’t like being this close to them. Lee ran up, frowning, and stopped a few feet away.

“I’m hungry,” Choji said, “Can we have a snack first?”

“No snack.” Saburo snapped. “Today we’re teaching you kiddies about paper bombs.”

“Ugh, this is boring.” Shikamaru flopped over. Choji followed.

“Hey! Pay attention!” Kentaro said. “These are my own special designs! Now take-”

“Wait!” Lee said, “Paper bombs should only be handled under the supervision of a trained shinobi!”

“Tch, your momma tell ya that?” Itsu said. He picked up a stack and waved them around, “C’mon, it’s safe, we’re top ninja.”

“A ninja follows the rules, even top ones.” Sakura said. “I’m going with Lee and I’m gonna tell!”

“Hold on, don’t!” Saburo said. He grabbed her wrist, and stuck papers into her hand. “I’ll prove it! Don’t let go until I say.”

Grabbing their pack, the three boys ran several yards. Don’t let go? Why? What would happen? Sakura never held paper bombs before. They were thin strips of paper, marked with a seal of black ink, and smelled like burnt charcoal and something else. She held three in her sweaty, shaking grip, crinkling in the wind.

“Sakura! Be careful!” Lee said, “Don’t move!”

“I tol’ you, it’s safe!”

“I’ll get Iruka-sensei.” Choji said, running off.

“Okay, throw it now!” Sabaru said.

“No don’t! Don’t let go, he activated it, and the kanji is wrong.” Shikamaru said, now on his feet, a serious look on his face. He was right, these didn’t look like the pictures.

“No, she needs to throw it!” Kentaro argued. “Hurry! Now!” She held them away from her, what should she do?

“Jus’ throw it!”

“Do it!”

“No don’t!” Too many voices! Tears poured down her cheeks. What should she do? Stop it! Ninjas didn’t get scared!

“Sakura!” Lee called. A tiny flame licked the edge of the paper. Oh no! “Throw it and run to me!” He reached out his hand. But -

What happened? How did she get on the ground? Lee kneeled over her, eyes wide, mouth moving, but all she heard was ringing… Her ears hurt. Were they still there? She tried to check, but he tugged her hands down. Where did the big kids go? Shikamaru lifted her onto Lee’s back. She tried to help, but she was dizzy, weak. Lee leaned forward, shifting her weight, and tried to run, but she kept slipping, Shikamaru held her hands. Sorry...

Something wet dripped down the sides of her head. Gross. Hopefully Lee didn’t notice. The side door swung open, whacking the school. Iruka-sensei and Choji ran out. Those older kids were probably in trouble, but Iruka-sensei stopped in front of her instead. What did she do? Was she in trouble too? His mouth was moving, but what was he saying? He pulled her off Lee. Oh, a hug! Sakura tried to hug him, but everything was spinning.


	2. Lee: Nurturing a Pact

Lee was all cried out, curled up in his corner bed. Iruka-sensei took Sakura straight to the hospital and she was still there. He had been examined too, but he must’ve been far enough from the blast… all he had was a ringing in his ears that would go away. Why did he let them grab her? As soon as he got there, he should’ve taken her and ran! He knew it was a bad idea! Hopefully she was going to be okay. If he was faster or stronger or... The explosion was close to her head, and louder than any paper bomb he’d ever heard. No way they did it right. Lee wrapped his blankets tighter around himself, pulling them over his head. Her ears bled, from inside... Sakura just had to be okay!

The door downstairs opened and shut, a bang echoing through their little blue house. Lee shot up and threw off the covers. Dad was home! A smile crawled up his mouth, urging him to go greet him, but before his bare feet reached his shaggy gray carpet, Lee flopped back over and rolled against the wall. All his energy and enthusiasm fled with his will to move. His bestest friend was in the hospital and he could’ve prevented it. If only he was faster... He wasn’t strong enough. Tucking his knees to his chin, he let his pajamas soak up more tears. He missed Sakura. Glancing out his window, he half expected to see her, waiting to meet him on the roof, but she wasn’t there, not tonight. Light from the hallway flooded in as his door swung open.

“Lee?” Dad called, “I can tell you're awake.” A weight settled on his bed, dipping his mattress, a large hand stroked his hair. He failed to suppress a sniffle. “I heard what happened.”

Exhausted, Lee wanted to ignore him, to stay curled up in his soft blue pjs, just fade into sleep and forget all about today. Tomorrow had to be better, had to... but Dad’s deep, reassuring voice washed over him, and suddenly he couldn’t be alone. Rolling over, he threw himself at him, sobbing all over his work vest. Dad held him on his lap, rubbing his back as he hiccuped and sputtered.

“S-Sakura, she got hurt and there were these big kids and, and I kn-knew we had to leave, but -” He choked out. “I should’ve-.”

“Shh, shh, it’s okay,” Dad said, rocking him, “It wasn’t your fault. Sakura’s okay, she’s fine. They’re taking good care of her. We can go see her tomorrow, okay? First thing in the morning.”

“Sakura’s okay?” Lee sniffed and pulled back, searching Dad’s face. “Promise?” If Dad said it, it had to be true.

“I promise. Tomorrow you can go see for yourself.” Dad said, smiling. Nodding, Lee buried himself deeper into his Dad’s warm, rough flak jacket, unable to prevent another round of weeping. Dad held him, talking quietly until he fell asleep.

Sunshine broke through his orange curtains and lit up his room, but Lee was already awake. Faster than lightning, he brushed his teeth, dressed, and ran down the hall into Dad’s room, hopping into his bed. Beside the closet, in Dad’s bathroom, the shower turned on. Huh? Was someone here? Nevermind!

“Dad, can we go see Sakura?” Lee said, shaking his shoulder, “Right now? Please?”

“Huh? Lee?” Dad sat up, yawning. “Wha- ? I know I said first thing in the morning, but …” Aw, was it too early?

“Please Dad?” Lee clasped his hands together. “I gotta see Sakura.”

“Oh alright, give me a minute.” Yes! Hopping down, Lee ran to Dad’s closet and pulled out a jumpsuit. “Lee, thank you, but why don’t you wait for me downstairs.” Aww, but he was helping. The water stopped, so Dad could shower at least. “Uh, why don’t you do some laps? If you can get to a hundred before I come down, I’ll make pancakes later.”

“Okay!” Lee said, bolted out the door and down the stairs. 

Strapping on his sandals, he zoomed out the door. Laps in the yard was really just running back and forth, but no matter! One... two... three... Sakura please wait a little longer! Soon, he’d be there to see for himself she was okay! Dad would never lie, but... he just had to. As he made his one-hundredth lap, Dad waved him inside, all ready to go, and they headed out.

The hospital was a big, yellowing building near the Academy. As they entered the main double doors, Lee dragged Dad to speak to the dark-haired lady at the main circle desk.

“Hello there! Who’re you coming to see?” She leaned over to talk to him.

“I have to see Sakura right away! It’s important!”

“Sakura Haruno.” Dad said. Yes, her! Right now!

“Of course! Head straight on, take the first corner, and it’s the last door on the right.” She stuck a visitor’s sticker on Lee’s shirt. “Can you remember all that, poppet?” For Sakura, of course he could!

Grabbing Dad’s hand again, he set off. Rounding the corner, Ms. Haruno leaned against the wall in civilian clothes outside Sakura’s open door, arms folded, a deep frown. Lee tapped her arm, and she jumped, looking surprised to see them. Why wouldn’t they come?

“Lee, oh honey, I’m glad you’re here. Thank you for bringing him Guy,” She said. She was super nice, but sometimes was mean to Sakura. He didn’t like that.

“Of course, Mebuki.” Dad said. Lee tugged his sleeve, “Uh, do you mind if Lee goes in for a while?”

“Sure, Sakura will be happy to see him.” She kneeled down, putting a hand on his shoulder, “Honey, before you go in, you need to know Sakura’s ears don’t hear anymore.”

“But then, how do I talk to her?” Lee asked, scrubbing his eyes before they watered. He knew it! Something was wrong!

“She’s got a little whiteboard you can write on.” Ms. Haruno said, smiling. Why would she smile? Sakura was hurt. “Just do your best.”

“Okay,” Lee said, inching towards the door.

“Did they say if it was permanent?” Dad asked. Peeking into the room, Lee let their voices fade into the background.

Sitting in the middle of a plain, stiff mattress, wrapped up in white hospital pajamas, Sakura looked tiny. Hugging her legs, staring at her blanket with a blank expression. Surely they wouldn’t notice if he went in? Ms. Haruno did say it was okay. Flattening himself against the wall, Lee slunk into the room. They didn’t say anything. Okay! Venturing across the floor, he stood beside Sakura’s bed, but she didn’t move or even blink. White stringy stuff hung down from her ears, like it started to unravel and fall out.

Why was she so still? Normally, she jumped around, especially when she saw him. He didn’t even get a hug. Perhaps she didn’t notice him yet, perhaps she wasn’t okay. Sakura? …still not blinking. He tapped her shoulder, smiling sheepishly when she jumped. Sliding over, she patted the bed. Moving the white board, Lee hopped on and shimmied under the thin white sheet. Sobbing, she threw her arms around him, soaking through his shirt. Poor Sakura. He held her, tears pricking at his eyes, and let her cry. His shirt would just have to deal with it. Eventually she pulled away, sniffling, wiping her eyes, face red. He grabbed the board.

_Are you okay? _ Lee wrote. She wasn’t, but he had to ask. Shaking her head, she took the marker.

_Ears are maybe broken forever._ She erased it with her sleeve.

_So maybe one day all better? _ Perhaps this was only for a while, but Sakura shook her head. 

_Maybe a little, but not all. _ Dad always put a bandage on his ouches  when he got them. Was that what the white stuff in her ears was for? He wiped away the message with more force than necessary. Forever… that was a long time, but Lee wasn’t sure what that meant, but... 

_Can you talk? _ Why didn’t she say anything? Hopefully her voice worked still.

Shaking her head, Sakura turned away, curling up against the wall. Sorry he asked, Lee got rid of the question. Bad, upsetting her more... Did her voice not work then? Poor Sakura… what else should he say? Capping the marker, he tossed the board to the bottom of the bed, and she rolled over, laying on his stomach. He rubbed her back, it’s what you did to make the sad go away, and frowned. Those boys hurt his friend, though they hadn’t meant to, they ran away when the paper caught fire. Lee tried to help, to take her hand and pull her away. If he was better, faster, then maybe... Resting his head on her pillow, he kept a tight hold on her. No one would ever hurt her again, he would keep getting stronger. He never wanted to see her cry ever again.

Huh? Cracking his eyes open, a warm lump laid on him. Oh, they must’ve fell asleep. For how long? Did he miss school? Why didn’t Dad wake him up? Ms. Haruno and Dad were whispering to each other nearby. Why did they have to do that? Lee hated it, like secret secrets kids couldn’t know. Why couldn’t they tell him things? Secrets were dumb, he would not have any ever. They didn’t pay him any attention, maybe thought he was asleep still.

“I’m pulling her Guy, that’s all there is to it.” Ms. Haruno whispered, but she sounded grumpy. “She won’t be going back.” Won’t be going back where?

“Come on, Mebuki, we can figure something out.” Dad whispered too.

“No. I never wanted her to go in the first place! Her father was the one…” She folded her arms, and sighed, “That school-” Was Sakura going to school today?

“Lee?” Dad said. Busted! “Good morning, sleepy head!” Lee sat up and rubbed his eyes, jostling Sakura, who yawned and crawled to the board and marker, hair sticking up. “I’m sorry Lee, but we have to go now, so say goodbye. I promise you can come back if she has to stay another night.” He turned to Ms. Haruno, “I can talk with Iruka, or maybe Kakashi -.”

“No, forget it, Guy. This is how it is.” Ms. Haruno leaned down and patted Lee’s head, “I’m sorry honey, but you’ll be better off without her.” Without who? Sakura? No, she was his best friend. Ms. Haruno must mean someone else. Sakura tapped his shoulder and showed him her board.

_Can you take me home? _ Lee looked to Dad, who gave him a sad look and shook his head.

_I have to go._ Lee wrote, then hopped off the bed. Sakura wouldn’t let go of his hand, shaking her head. He wrote on the board again, _I’ll be back._ Was she okay?

Ms. Haruno grabbed her wrist and she let go, bowing her head, drooping. Sakura?... A weird, bad feeling crept up to his neck as he waved, following Dad out the door, but she didn’t look up. Why didn’t he want to leave? He would see her soon, she was over almost every night. Waving to the front desk lady, Lee headed out into the warm sunshine, bright and blinding. The streets were thriving, bustling villagers starting out their day, cheery. Ignoring them, he tucked closer to Dad’s side. Everything was too big, too many people, too many sunshine, too many things. Reaching for Dad’s hand, he held it the whole way home.

As soon as they got home, he popped up onto his wooden chair at their round matching table and watched Dad make pancakes. It wasn’t often he made them, because they weren’t as healthy as other things, but they always smelled amazing and they were the fluffiest in the world! Maybe he would teach him and Sakura how to make them! Thanks to the big clear glass door, the kitchen got the best sunlight anywhere downstairs, which made it the best room!

“Dad, why can’t Sakura come home?” Lee asked, propping his head in his hands. She couldn’t hear or talk, but the rest of her looked fine. Pretty sure staying wouldn’t fix her sadness. Doctors couldn’t do that, right?

“Well, the doctors just want to make sure everything is okay with her head first. Don’t you worry, she’ll be home before you know it.” He flipped a cake and gave Lee a thumbs up with a big smile. That made sense! She would be back fast then!

“I’m sure her head is great,” Lee announced, watching Dad pour more batter into a sizzling pan, “Then we can go back to walking to school together?” Somehow, it seemed like it wouldn’t be that easy, after what Ms. Haruno said.

“Lee... I’m sorry, but the doctors don’t believe Sakura’s hearing will fully recover.” He said, flipping another perfectly fluffy cake, “Which means she won’t be able to return to the academy.”

“But why not? I can only use taijutsu, but they let me go.” Lee's heart sank. Why? It didn’t make sense! Sakura had to go! Friends forever, ninjas together! They promised! She had to! Dad sighed.

“Before she can think about returning to training, Sakura is going to have to learn to find her own way to hear people without her ears.” He set a plate of breakfast in front of Lee, one at an empty seat, then sat across from him. Who was that for? “Do you understand, Lee?”

“I... think so.” Lee said. He wasn’t really sure, “In that case, I want to help.”

“I knew you would! Now, let’s eat and start our morning training.” Dad said, taking a bite as Mr. Kakashi wandered down the stairs in Anbu uniform. “I’ll keep you home today, but school starts again bright and early tomorrow!”

“Yes!” Training was way better than class! “Hello Mr. Kakashi!”

“Huh?” He said. Was he okay? Perhaps he didn’t see him, with his eye all covered.

“Join us?” Dad asked, but Kakashi stared at the coffee pot. It didn’t seem like he could hear him. Standing, Dad guided him to a chair and sat him in front of pancakes, which he stared at all blank, like Sakura at her bedding. Was he sad too?

The following morning, Lee ran behind Dad on their route around the village, feet pounding hard on the dusty dirt road, steady breathing. This was the best time of day! The sun was just poking its rays over the horizon, enough to see a silhouette of red rooftops and tan houses, the air carried the chill of the night, staving off the building heat in his working muscles. Sweat never bothered him. In fact, Dad said a good sweat meant doing his best. Lee always wanted to do his best and Dad was always right! 

To his left, the bread baker waved, unlocking his bread shop and heading inside. Grinning, Lee waved back. It was the best place ever to run by once the baking started. The smell was so, so good! One day he would stop and try one. Perhaps he could bring Sakura and Dad and Mr. Kakashi.

Almost home… pain clenched in his chest, but it had nothing to do with the run. School would start soon, and he’d be walking all alone again. Dad’s footfalls turned the corner, down their street, and Lee followed. Usually he loved his neighborhood, but today the tall, skinny houses loomed, dark and menacing, seeming to grow taller and taller. Slowing down, he hunched his shoulders against the shadows.

Near the middle house, a splash of pink stood out against the gray cement of the stoops. Head down, Sakura played with the straps on her sandals, lunchbox and whiteboard at her side. She was home! Yes! He knew it would be today! Lee stopped at the railing. Was she going to school with him? He hoped so! But… she had no bag, only her lunch. Then, why was she sitting there?

“I’ll start breakfast.” Dad said, patting their heads, then went inside. Breakfast! Would Sakura come? Hopping up, Lee sat beside her, bumping her leg. She jumped and picked up her board, eyes red and puffy.

_I made you lunch._ Sakura wrote, setting the box on his lap. It was light green and sparkly, loaded with peeling stickers of animals and flowers. The lunch was for him! She was the sweetest! Sniffling, tears dripped down his chin, and he hugged the box. He would take good care of it, until she could use it again.

_Thank you._ He wrote, wiping his eyes, then erased it. _No school? _ Shaking her head, she took the marker.

_Mommy says ninja have to hear._ She sniffled. _ I can’t go back. _ Lee stared at the words scrawled across the board in Sakura’s neat print. Ninjas have to hear? Do they? But... why? Was it really that important? Well, even if she couldn’t go to the Academy, it was okay!

_Maybe,_ he wrote, then hovered the pen over the board. Lee wanted to get this right. _But you can still become strong!_ Wiping her face, she stared at it. Was it bad? Lee moved to erase, but she put her hand on his arm and wrote under them.

_Do you mean it?_ Lee smiled and nodded. He would never lie to Sakura!

“Of course!” He gave her his best thumbs up and matching smile. Frowning, she stared at his mouth. “Er…” But she wouldn’t give the board back…

“Lee, breakfast is ready,” Dad said through the screen door. “And school starts soon.”

“Coming.” He said. 

He reached for the board, but Sakura shook her head, hugging it. But he had to tell her he was leaving. Hmm... he pointed at his wrist, then at Dad. Nodding, she stood and gave him an extra long hug. Something in his stomach tugged at him as he left her on the porch, but he waved and went inside to get ready. Why did that keep happening? What did that feeling mean? As soon as she couldn’t see him, his smile fell.

When he came back out, she was gone. Without Sakura, his walk was lonely again. Even though she only went for a while, it was no fun at all. This was dumb! Why couldn’t she go? Arriving at the Academy, Lee refused to look at her waiting spot, fuming. They could at least let her try! She could do ninjutsu and genjutsu, and was still kicked out. Lee was allowed to, so she should too! Perhaps Dad could help? Maybe Lee could ask him to talk to her teacher. Crossing his arms, he rushed to his class, slouching in a middle seat before anyone else got there. It was more peaceful, none of the kids could make fun of him here. Funeno-sensei, his large, cheerful instructor, was sipping from a canister mug at his desk. Marching up to the big square desk, Lee was determined to get answers.

“Hi there, Lee. What can I do for you?” Funeno-sensei asked, putting his mug down, regarding Lee the same way all the adults at school did: with coddling smiles and pitying glances. No one believed he could make it with taijutsu alone. Sakura and Dad knew he could, and so did Lee. Curls of steam vanished into the room, a nutty scent mingled with freshly bound books and ink.

“Sensei, why do ninjas need to hear?” Lee asked. “Can’t we work around it?”

“Ah Lee, this is about your friend isn’t it?” He didn’t let Lee to answer, “Well, we have some time, come outside with me.” Outside? What was outside? Why couldn’t he just tell him? Teachers were always so complicated. For no reason!

The yard was empty. Glancing through the fence, to the front, Lee saw students trickling inside. Several wooden poles were erected at the back of the lawn, rows of chalk circles in vertical stripes for target practice. He was not great at hitting in the circles. Yet! With more practice, he would get great! On the other side, thick, soft straw dummies stood for hitting beside a few with wooden pegs. Those were his favorite, the best way to get hitting hands! If they let him, he’d punch and kick those all day and all night! Too bad they thought it was pointless, but it wasn’t. One day he would be a taijutsu master, that would show them. Oh, Funeno-sensei was waiting. Oops. Taking off his head protector, he handed it to Lee. … Why?

“Lee, I want you to use this to cover your eyes.” Funeno-sensei said. “Go on.” What? He didn’t want to, they were supposed to talk about ears, not eyes. This didn’t make any sense.

“O-okay.” Lee tied it on. What did this have to do with anything? Perhaps Funeno-sensei didn’t understand his question. “Sensei-?”

“Shh, don’t say anything. Just listen, alright?” Lee nodded. Fine, he would listen. His hands hovered at his waist, like he was on alert. Why? Cuz his eyes were covered?

Not being able to see was weird. It was like someone turned the volume up on the whole world. Leaves rustled as the wind picked up, birds he hadn’t noticed chirped overhead, closer than the rumble of chattering schoolkids and thumping sandals on pavement. Thwip, thwip, thwip. What? Kunai? Lee side-stepped. Thunk, thunk, thunk, they struck wood behind him, he spun. The training poles? Whoosh, the wind changed - Hey! Lee turned and threw his arms up, catching a blow aimed for his head and reacted with a counter punch, fist sinking into a soft vest. Poof. A shadow clone? Why did-? Swishswishswish ting. A jutsu! Lee ducked, a gentle gust brushed the top of his head. Clack clack clack, footsteps approached him from behind. Whirling around, defense ready, when large hands settled on his shoulders. Wait... Oh… but… Sakura’s eyes worked fine. Was he saying it wasn’t enough?

“You can take it off now.” Funeno-sensei said. Giving back the headband, Lee refused to look up. “I’m sorry Lee. Let’s head back inside.” He nodded and followed. This was dumb.

Fine! If Sakura couldn’t be a ninja, then he was going to work extra hard for the both of them. Echoes of mocking, laughing voices filled his head: Shinobi without jutsu are useless, it was pointless for him to try. Sakura never thought he couldn’t do it, she believed in him, and he believed in himself. Certainly he could do the same for her. They promised to become ninja together, no matter what. Maybe her ears would get better, and she could go back to school. In the meantime, he could teach her taijutsu, and he bet Dad would help, maybe even find someone to teach her ninjutsu.

When he got home, Sakura was on his porch, knees tucked under her chin, papers and markers at her side. She waited for him! Sitting beside her, Lee picked up the paper. 

_Thank you for lunch_!  He wrote. Maybe her ears were better? _Any hearing back yet?_ Sakura shrugged. Oh, perhaps she wasn’t around any talking. Her mom did sleep all day, and Dad was working.

“Sakura? Can you hear me?” He asked. Shrugging again, she took the marker.

_Not really. A little, but no._

Aww... Did it hurt still? Her ears didn’t look different, and there was no blood anymore, but inside there could be. Whenever he got hurt, and bandages didn’t fix it, Dad would kiss it and like magic, he would feel better. Okay! He would help Sakura hear or he would do two hundred laps! Leaning over, Lee pressed his lips to her ear -muah! Woah, she turned almost as pink as her hair! Perhaps she didn’t know about healing kisses, she looked confused.

_I’m kissing it to make it come back fast!_ He wrote. A shy smile spread across her face, yes! It had been so long, a smile was worth a million laps! She turned her head the other way. Right, had to do both sides - muah! Perfect! Now she would feel better in no time!

_Thank you._ She wrote under his scribbles. Of course! Anything for Sakura. He took the paper.

I have to go train, do you want to come?

She shook her head, hugged him, and went back to her house. Aww, he hoped they would get to. Perhaps she wasn’t ready yet. Going inside, he traded his backpack for his ninja pouch and headed to the training grounds. Dad would meet him there, then they would run home for dinner. 

He kicked his log: One, two, three, four - He would kick this log five-hundred times, and if he couldn’t do that, then he would punch it five-hundred times instead! After dinner, he would come back and do another five-hundred! Every day! As many days as it took! He would get strong, become a master, and never ever let anyone he loved get hurt ever again!


	3. Sakura: A Ray of Moonlight

In her ice cream print pajamas, Sakura lay sprawled out on her bedroom floor, staring at the ceiling, the whiteboard with Lee’s word in thick black scrawl on her chest. Her walls were painted peach, but the ceiling was white. In the center, her dark ceiling fan pushed air down, but she didn’t feel it. She didn’t feel much of anything. 

Her eyes were dried out, but she couldn’t muster the energy to blink. Making lunch for Lee stole the rest of it. It wasn’t his fault, she wanted to make it up to him somehow, since she couldn’t walk him to school anymore. It was too dangerous, Mom said, she’d get hurt... Stay home. So she stayed home. Maybe she’d make all his lunches, since she had time. All the time she could ever want.

The fan spun around around around… probably humming like usual... Why couldn’t she cry anymore? Inside, she felt the same as crying, but she must’ve spent all her tears already. Her arms tingled, legs numbed, but she ignored it. What difference did it make? For some reason, Iruka-sensei’s face appeared, his friendly smile, his bouncy ponytail, his… soft, kind voice... She wanted to learn so much from him, but now… now she’d probably never see him again. Oh, there were her tears. She had more after all, but she couldn’t wipe them off, letting them slide down the sides of her head onto the rug. Too much energy... 

Was he wondering about her? Did teachers remember their students? Or would he forget all about her? Maybe he already did. It wasn’t like she was anyone special in class, no bloodlines, no clan secret jutsu, no particular interests or talents... Why would he bother to remember? Lee’s words floated by.

_You can still become strong._

It was strange, in her mind, she could almost hear his voice saying them. The memory of sound was still there, but she couldn’t hear anymore. Would she forget his voice? It wasn’t fair, she didn’t want to, not ever. Lee wanted to teach her taijutsu, like him and Guy-sensei. Even though she would never be a real shinobi, Sakura still wanted to learn. They promised each other... She blinked, a slow, agonizing movement that threatened to send her to bed. It took so much just to do that. Why bother doing anything anymore? It didn’t even matter...

Taking a deep breath, her fingers twitched. Move, Sakura! But her body ignored her, staying flat on the plush, marine rug. Come on, Lee wouldn’t lay here uselessly if it were him. He’d be up doing something. Always doing something, always moving, always training, working hard, moving forward, towards tomorrow. What should she do? What was tomorrow for?

Down the hall, Mom slept. If Sakura tried hard enough, she could pretend to hear her banging around in the kitchen downstairs. Then she’d go to work, slamming the front door on her way out. What did it matter if it wasn’t real? She could imagine it well enough, which was the same now.

All around her was the absence of sound. No noisy staircase, no wind, no fan, no Lee shuffling in his room through the wall... The background of life was nothingness. A lot of nothing. It was suffocating, how much nothing there was, like someone took her out of it, and she was just there to watch. Get up! Go find something, go do something! Anything... 

She lay there a while longer. No school today, or tomorrow, or the next day... she wasn’t going back. Mom didn’t say it, but she knew. How long had she lay there? It was forever, probably. Did it matter? Before she started school, when Guy-sensei wasn’t on missions, she was supposed to check in with him during the day. Should probably still do that... Lee had the nicest Daddy in the world, hers wasn’t even around. She definitely didn’t want to upset him. Sighing, she dragged herself to her knees and looked at the board. 

_You can still become strong._

What did he say after? Closing her eyes, Sakura pictured his face, lips moving. It was something short. Copying his lips with her own, did she make any sound? Slowly, she stood, put the board on her nightstand, and shook the sleep tingles from her limbs. Stretch! Up on her tiptoes, then bent over and touched her toes. Okay, that helped. Some of her energy was back. Digging around in her desk drawer, she found a big pad of white construction paper, and a box of markers, then went downstairs, out the back door.

Guy-sensei's kitchen was empty. Sliding open the glass, she plopped under the table and hugged her knees. There, all checked in. Now she wouldn’t get in trouble and he wouldn’t be upset. Wiping her eyes, she tried not to cry. Too much crying happened already, Mommy didn’t like it, she should be done.

A finger tapped her sock, Guy-sensei sat on the floor across from her. When did he get there? Drooping, she just wanted to be left alone. Taking her paper and a marker, he scribbled and held it up.

_How are you feeling?_ She shrugged. How could she explain it? It didn’t make any sense.

_Can I sit with you?_ He wrote. Sakura nodded, sliding over to make room. Of course he could… It was his table. He crawled next to her, he barely fit! 

Tracing the gout with her finger, she went back to staring at his floor. All her energy was gone again, used up from the walking. Taking her markers, Guy-sensei scribbled more on the paper, switching colors. What was he doing? Drawing? She didn’t know he liked to draw, usually he ran around with her and Lee, though sometimes they did little crafts. It didn’t last long, Lee got bored of those fast and had to find a running game to do. Sighing, she stared at the tile. If Guy-sensei was trying to get her to play, she didn’t want to. 

Oh! A sheet was slid across the floor, nudging her finger, covered in little labeled circles with faces: Happy, Silly, Sad, Confused, Frustrated, Angry, Tired, Excited, Scared, Worried, Disappointed, Surprised, Shy, Hungry... Guy-sensei stuck a small piece on top.

_How about that one?_

He pointed at the Sad face. Oh... she nodded. He must really want to know if he made a whole page. If she answered him in the first place, he wouldn’t have to do all the drawing. Sorry, Guy-sensei... Taking the pink marker, Sakura underlined the faces she thought made sense, but... there was something else she didn’t understand, couldn't explain. She drew a circle at the bottom, but what to fill it with? Maybe….she left it blank… maybe that’s what it was. She was blank. Guy-sensei nodded and wrote more.

_Yes, I would too._ He would?

Climbing out, he opened his arms wide, waving her over. Suddenly a hug sounded like the best thing in the world. Tearing up again, she crawled onto his lap and snuggled into his vest as he stood, carrying her to his couch. Big arms cradled her, she sighed, curling up and resting her head on his chest. All the bubbling in her stomach settled and lightened as he rubbed her back. Crying was less this time, but why? Nothing changed, but she felt better anyway and closed her eyes as he pet her hair. Was it okay to stay here? Hopefully, she wasn’t sure if she could move if he wanted her to. After a bit, he tapped her shoulder and the paper reappeared.

_It’s okay to feel all those things._ Maybe it was okay for him and Lee… Mommy didn’t like it when she cried, but at least she couldn’t get yelled at anymore. _Lee will be home soon._ Lee! Sakura touched the marker, silently asking to use it. He passed it over.

_Is it okay if I wait outside for him? After I get dressed?_

_Of course!_ Guy-sensei wrote. _I have to run an errand. Don’t get into any trouble without me!_ He drew a silly face and kissed her forehead, she covered her mouth to stop a giggle. Nodding, Sakura slid off his lap, pulled on a blue sundress from Lee’s closet, and went out on the porch to wait.

Bent over her paper pad, Sakura drew more faces and labeled them. Maybe Guy-sensei would like them, so he wouldn’t have to make any more. What were the missing ones? Hmm... Something touched her shoulder and she leapt to her feet, clutching the paper. Lee! Sneaky ninja! He looked as surprised as she was. Putting his hands up, he started talking, waving them around. Well, his mouth moved, so she assumed he was talking. Did he forget? Frowning, she leaned back then shoved the paper at him. He smiled, red faced, and picked up the marker, hand flying across the page in a frenzy. Did something happen? 

_You made a sound!!! Try talking!!_ He bounced on his heels. 

Oh no, she did? Gripping the edge of her dress, she bit her lip. Did she yell when he scared her? What if she sounded weird or the words didn’t come out right? It was weird, like her head was vibrating from inside out. She shook her head. Talking wasn’t going to work, she didn’t know what she was saying! Lee’s shoulders drooped and his bottom lip quivered. No, wait, she didn’t want him to cry! Then he scratched more onto the sheet.

_Please? I promise I won’t laugh._ Chewing her lip, she looked around. No one was on the street, and all the porches were empty… maybe it was okay if it was only Lee. Snatching the paper from him she wrote:

_Okay, but only if it’s secret. Promise you won’t tell?_

Nodding, he stuck out his pinky. Woah, he was serious. Good, then he knew she was too! Latching onto it with her own, they shook. Okay, Guy-sensei said he was leaving, so she pulled Lee into his house, through his living room, then up to his bedroom and shut the door. Was his window closed? Yeah, okay no one could hear them. Hopping onto his bed, she set the pad down, he sat on his knees, facing her, waiting. Okay, okay… open her mouth and... Nothing wanted to come out. Closing it again, she picked up the marker.

_You go first? Then I will try to copy._ If she watched him, maybe it would be easier.

Giving her a thumbs up, he smiled and nodded, exaggerating his head movement, then super slow, his lips moved. Concentrating, Sakura focused all her attention on his mouth, copying his lips. Okay, she could do this, she did it before. This time, she tried to say, ‘hello Lee,’ the vibrating was there again, traveling up her jaw to pulse near her temple. It was weird, but not bad weird. Maybe she’d get used to it. 

Maybe she was just making noises, or maybe nothing at all. Was it okay? Did it work? Lee pumped his fist into the air, bouncing the bed, and smiled so wide his cheeks must hurt. It must’ve worked, since he looked so happy. 

“Another one?” She asked. Hopefully? He gave a thumbs up, then moved his lips again.

After a while, Sakura flopped onto the bed next to Lee. This was hard! It took forever! He wrote what he wanted her to say, then said it to remind her how, but at least it was progress. Probably, maybe? Sitting up, she leaned on his shoulder.

“Lee? Do I sound the same?” He shook his head, then wrote a note.

_No, but it’s okay._ How was it okay? She didn’t want to sound different! She probably sounded dumb or funny or weird or… but, he didn’t laugh at all... Ugh, she wanted to beat up his pillow, but it wasn’t the pillow’s fault. He gave her a hug, then wrote more. _Want a break? We can train instead. I’ll show you how._ Sakura nodded and followed him outside to the back field. Training could be fun, since Guy-sensei put up wooden training poles for Lee to kick and punch all the time.

Once outside, Sakura paused. She wasn’t supposed to learn any of this anymore, but… what could it hurt? A whole year of waiting to be old enough to attend the Academy, watching Lee and Guy-sensei practice from a distance. Mommy warned her, all her ninja dreams evaporated with her hearing. Approaching the stump, she stared at the soft indent on the side where Lee wore away at the wood. Clenching her fists, she punched it, then shook her hand. Ouch! How did he do this so much? She must’ve done something wrong.

Taking her hand, Lee seemed to giggle, kissed it, then removed a roll of bandages from his pocket, and wrapped her fingers. Oh, duh! She was so dumb. After wrapping her other hand, he pointed at himself then punched the log. His hands were wrapped too, when did he do that? Backing up, he gestured to it like a magician showing off a trick. Ta da! But... 

Shaking her head, Sakura shrugged. If she tried, she’d probably do it wrong. Putting his finger to his chin, Lee scrunched up his face, then flicked his fingers before grabbing her hand and dragging her in front of the log. He positioned her, manipulating her arms and fingers, nudging her feet and hips into a stance she’d seen him take before. Somehow she felt more and less stable at the same time, like she wanted to fall over, but couldn’t. So weird. He twisted his hips, stepped forward, and punched. Okay, she could do that. Maybe. Better watch him again.

A while later, Sakura was laid out in the grass, trying to catch her breath, and Lee was still going. He was crazy awesome! As much as she watched him train before, she never realized how hard it was. He made it look easy! Sitting up, she wiped her brow and watched him switch to kicks. Where did he get all his energy from? Even though he was sweating more than her, he pounded the log like it insulted him. Maybe it did.

Okay, she went back to her spot and hit again. No way Mommy would approve of this, pulling her Academy enrollment. After her doctor said she’d never hear again, Mommy didn’t seem as upset, telling Sakura not to get her hopes up, not to waste her time. Don’t bother Lee, don’t bother Guy-sensei, don’t bother going to school, don’t bother herself! The log taunted her too, refusing to splinter, like she was weak, like there was no point. She knew there was no point! Why did it matter! Ninja training! Who even cares! Not Iruka-sensei, he probably forgot all about her! Not her classmates either! Not Mommy! And definitely not Sakura! Stupid, stupid! Clenching her fists, she poured her anger into each strike.

A gentle pull on her shoulders forced her away and her hands struck air. Wha- ? Turning, Lee raised his eyebrows, concerned. Oh… her cheeks were wet. Apparently crying again. More poured out, but when she went to wipe them away, Lee grabbed her hand. Blood soaked through the bandages across her knuckles. Yanking her arm back, she looked away, heat flooded her cheeks. None of it was his fault, he shouldn’t have to see her like this, he only wanted to help. Suddenly she wanted to be alone.

Bolting to the sliding door of her house, Sakura stopped before reaching the patio. Mom was probably awake, and she didn’t want to be around her either. Sitting on the grass, she buried her head in her lap so Lee couldn’t see her face as she sobbed. Arms wrapped around her, for some reason, this only made her cry harder.

Head pounding, her eyes stung, prickly and icky. She rubbed them with the back of her hands, but that made it worse. Lee’s arms had to be tired, especially after hitting so much, but he still held her. Poor Lee, he probably wanted to go back to training, but he got stuck with helping her. Peering at him through rosy bangs, his eyes were wet. He cried too? Oh, her shoulder was wet, where his face had been. Ugh, they both needed baths, all covered with dirt, dried sweat, and grass. Standing, he pulled her up and walked them into his kitchen, guiding her to sit in his chair.

Tucking her knees to her chin, Sakura hid her face. A tap on her arm, Lee held out a glass of water, droplets forming on the outside. Drinking half in one go, she set it down. How did he know? She didn’t even know she was thirsty! Taking her hands, he unwrapped her bandages and replaced them with fresh ones.

“Thank you, Lee.” Her face was hot.

Did she do it? Did she thank him? Did he understand? Tears poured down his cheeks and his mouth stretched into a wide smile. She smiled too, she’d never been able to resist before, and apparently still couldn’t. He must understand! Maybe her talking wasn’t so bad. Then his mouth moved and she sighed. It was no use. Holding up a finger, he went outside and returned with the art supplies. 

_You can do it. I know you can._

Right, he wouldn’t lie, she had to do it. Talking with Lee was important. Propping up on her knees, she faced the table, Lee sat beside her and started writing a list. Huh? What was he doing? 

_Cat - Dog - Hello - Me - You - Sakura - Lee - Dad - Mom_ He looked up from the page, towards the door, Sakura followed his gaze. Guy-sensei walked into the kitchen. He was back! Jumping up, her and Lee tackled him, receiving kisses and head pats. Picking them up, he squeezed them in a big hug, then set them down to rummage around the cabinets, pushing them towards the table.

Sitting, she willed herself to hear the clattering of plates, or slamming of cabinet doors, but there was nothing. She could imagine it so well: the suction of the fridge door, a pot set on the stop, chop chop chop of veggies on a wooden board. Putting her hands out, and almost on their own, they clapped together. Nothing. Clap clap… clapclapclapclap! She tried faster, harder, but only silence. Ugh, she wanted to cry again. What were sounds? Pictures? What does chop look like? Or bang? Footsteps? Words? Lee tapped her arm.

_Dad says you can stay for dinner._

Dinner? Was it that late already? Sakura nodded, and settled for smiling. She didn’t want to talk in front of Guy-sensei. Not yet. Not until she knew she could do it perfectly. Hopefully Lee would tell her. But… what if he got bored of helping her all the time? He was still studying to be a ninja, and going to school, and he wouldn’t have time for her anymore. It would be selfish to keep him from training. It wouldn’t be fair. She was the one who couldn’t be a shinobi, not him. No way she’d get between Lee and his own goals. It’s not like she had any of her own anymore. A secret promise, though he didn’t like them very much.

Tapping her hand, Lee pointed at a word, then himself, and moved his mouth. Was he saying the word? Glancing at Guy-sensei, she shook her head. She didn’t feel like trying anymore. He scratched his head, then wrote.

_Right, sorry. We do more tomorrow?_ How did he do that? Sometimes, Lee could totally read her mind. He turned toward the back window, what was he looking at?

Uh oh, Mommy was knocking, and waving her hand, like she wanted to come inside. Lee hopped up and let her in, getting his hair ruffled and a smile. When Mom turned to Sakura, she glared, arms crossed. Oh no, she was angry. She took Sakura's hand in a vice grip and yanked her from her seat. Nails dug into her skin and she tried not to cry, it would make it so much worse. Guy-sensei’s mouth was moving, Mommy’s was too… Sakura stared at the floor.

Why was Mom so angry? As Sakura was hauled out the door, she waved and Lee waved back, face scrunched up in confusion. Did Mom see her training? Wasn’t it okay as long as she didn’t go to school? Shoving her into the kitchen, Mom took a notepad off the fridge and started writing… a lot… Sakura bit her lip as she turned the page and wrote some more. 

_You are not to practice unless I say so. Lee doesn’t understand, you’ll get in his way. One day he’s going to be a shinobi. Leave him alone._ Mommy waited, then flipped the page, _If I catch you again, there will be severe consequences. Understand?_

Fierce green eyes bore into hers, Sakura looked away. She was in so much trouble, no more training, no more practice... A fist jerked her head up, in a tight, painful grip, and forced her to nod. Tears welled up and she trembled, an icy chill crawled down her back. Mom let go, more writing.

_Go to your room, and don’t come out. No dinner. And change your clothes, you’re filthy._

Nodding, Sakura ran, suppressing her sobs. If Mom heard... behind her, the door swung shut, she checked the handle. Locked. Laying on the floor, she wept into the carpet, rubbing her arm. The nail indents were dark and throbbing, the skin around them an angry red. If she was heard, she might get in bigger trouble. It was still daylight, but Sakurachanged into pajamas. What was the point of being dressed? Was there a point to anything? Maybe she should just disappear, maybe she should stop trying. If she stopped trying to do anything, she really would disappear, she wouldn’t matter at all. It might be a good idea...

When she blinked, her room was dark, and an orange light shone through the curtain. Huh? Sitting up, she was stiff and sore. Did she fall asleep? Pushing back the sheer, pink curtain, she opened her window. Lee! He clicked off his flashlight and waved, crawling inside to hug her tight, then handed her a pad of paper and box of markers. Oh, she left them earlier. Whoops. 

_Are you okay? Did you get in trouble? Your mom looked mad,_ was written across the top. Sakura took a deep breath. No one was around, right?

“I am okay, Mommy locked me in my room.” She said. “Am I doing it?” Right? She spoke? Lee’s smile was blinding, and he gave her a thumbs up, then looked at the door. “It is okay, Mommy went to work already.” 

_Very good Sakura!_ He wrote, waving his hands. _Why did she lock the door?_ Why?

“Because I was being bad.” Sakura said. Why else? Lee frowned, then shook his head.

_What was bad?_ He scribbled. _We weren’t being bad._

“She says all training is bad.” She explained. Lee shook his head again. “One second.” Sakura went to her closet. There! She pulled out a bag of gummies and tossed them to him. Lee smiled, dragged the papers to the middle of her room, and turned on the overhead light. He wrote a lot.

_I was thinking we can make words with our hands, like jutsu, and letters. We can make ones for all the words and then you can hear me again sorta! Let's make all the letters first! Do you want to? We can practice words still too._ Words with hands? Lee held up his hands and made the _Tiger_ sign. Oh! Tiger!

_We can try._ Sakura wrote, she wanted to be able to know what Lee was saying! He jumped up and down, then got busy with the paper.

  
_Okay!_ He wrote out the alphabet. _How do we make an A?_ Then held up his hands.


	4. Lee: Secrets of Valor

Lee stared out the classroom window at the unoccupied training dummies while Funeno-sensei went on and on about the transformation jutsu. His test scores proved he understood the fundamentals, so why must he sit here? He would never perform such a technique. Right now, he could be outside, honing his taijutsu... No matter! Any second, the bell would ring and he would be on his way to train at home. Hopefully with Sakura, after Ms. Haruno left for work.

Tick, tick, tick, tick-

BRRRING

Yes! Lee swung his school bag over his shoulder and bolted. Freedom! If he ran fast enough, he would be gone before the other students were outside, the opposite of his previous strategy. Classrooms released waves of children into the hallway as he shoved through the main door with a sea of giggling, skipping first years. No matter, they didn’t know him. Relaxing, he basked in the freshness of the outdoors, hitched his bag, and mingled. Aww, they were such adorable ninjas in training!

“Dork Lee!” Ugh, Haruki. Lee suppressed an eyeroll. Maro and Oda were probably with him. “Hey! Pay attention when I’m talkin to you!” Nope. No time to deal with them today, he had to hurry home.

“Hey! Dork Lee!” Maro yelled. Right! 

Without turning, Lee sprinted, they did not chase. It did not count as running from a fight if he never engaged, though they just wanted to make fun of him. A pre-workout was good too! Wind in his hair, blood pumping, a thrill in his veins. Nothing made him feel more alive than a good run! Faster! Lighter than air, his feet carried him all the way home. Rushing in the door, he tossed his bag into his room, Sakura’s lunchbox on the counter, then outside for training! Hopefully Sakura would join soon! 

“Four-hundred ninety six, four-hundred ninety seven, four-hundred ninety eight,” Lee pushed - up, down, up, down - Beneath his fingertips, the grass ruffled in the breeze. It was nice. The sliding door opened and Sakura jogged over, sprawling out on her stomach a few feet away with a notebook, writing more words onto their list. Everyday, they both grew stronger!

“Four-hundred ninety nine, five hundred!” Yes! Right on time!

Dropping his hands, Lee rolled, popping up on his elbows at her shoulder. Their list was getting long. Highlighted in yellow were words she memorized already, more or less. He tried to help her develop techniques for reading lips and faces, but would they work on anyone but him? There were few others to practice on. Dad was often willing, but busy. How could they find more practice partners? Not even Ms. Haruno would help and Lee did not have other friends.

“Leee your hhair tickless!” Sakura giggled, moving her bare arm away from his head.

Aww, the way she spoke now never failed to make him melt a little. Even though she dragged out some of the sounds, she enunciated all of them, like she was afraid to miss one. It was adorable, almost like singing. Every day, she did her best and kept getting better! Sitting up, he faced her, motioning with his hands as he spoke.

“I apologize!” Lee said, “I did not mean to!” He shook his head and his hands as she observed him with a scrutiny he was still unused to, though he did not mind the attention. Her pretty green eyes watching him so closely did strange things to his pulse, “Are you ready for more training?” He pointed at her then rubbed the finger with his knuckles. She stuck her tongue out at him.

“You do nnot have time for mmore.” Sakura said, pointing at him, then her wrist. “Yyou need to meet Guy-ssensei ssoon.” Lee exaggerated an eye roll, but smiled. They had a little time, plus Dad asked him to bring her along. Perhaps he could convince her.

“You could come with us,” He said, moving his fingers towards himself, “It will be fun!” 

“But Mmom -”

“You cannot stay home forever, Sakura.” He said. 

“Can tooo.” Crossing her arms, she pouted. Oh, that look was cheating! Hopefully she never finds out. Okay, do not give in! Dad wanted her to join for a reason! 

“Please come with me. I promise I will not leave your side.”

It was unfair how little Ms. Haruno allowed Sakura out, even with him. No matter what, he swore to protect her, but how could he prove it when he was never given the chance? Plus, no way it was healthy to stay home all the time, right? How would Sakura learn anything at this rate?

“... Aalright, Lee.” She said. “But Mmom cannot ffind out.” 

Victory! Jumping to his feet, he helped Sakura up. As much as he hated secrets, what else could they do? She brushed grass and dirt from her long pink dress. She sure liked pink. Gathering her paper, Sakura handed him her bundle of markers, he jammed them into his pockets. They started towards his house, side by side. Yes! Sakura was allowing him to take her into town! He would be the best escort ever!

“Yes!” Lee cheered as they walked down the front steps and up the street, sandals crunching on gravel.

Wading through the crowded downtown area, Lee could not stop smiling. Even though Sakura latched onto his arm with both hands, scanning the area as if danger lurked around every corner, they were still out! He did not mind, if it made her feel better, she could hold his arm all day. It was nice, she must trust him to keep her safe! Why did Dad want him to bring her? Was he planning something? Very strange. How did he know Lee would convince her?

Up ahead, right before the Red Lantern bar, Lee spied the little ramen shop. Inside, beyond a row of banners, was a long counter with soft red stools. Two were occupied by Dad and Mr. Kakashi, neither appeared to have ordered anything. Yes, right on time! Sakura gripped his arm tighter. Why? Oh, they would be facing the kitchen. Was that it? Oh no! Even with her notepad, she would not be able to participate in a conversation with four people. Quick, think of something! He did not bring her only to leave her out. Perhaps they could move to the grill across the street. 

“Oh hey there, Lee!” Dad greeted with a wide smile, “And Sakura too!”

“Yo.” Mr. Kakashi half waved. Sakura waved back and pressed closer, half hiding. Not to worry, he would fix this! She would not regret coming, then she might be more willing to come next time. If he could not get her to come out more often, he would do two hundred sit ups every day!

“Hey Dad, can we move to Yakiniku this time?” Lee asked, certain his face was a bit red. It was weird making such a request, but he would do it for Sakura.

“Huh?” Dad looked between them, then smiled, “Of course we can! Kakashi?”

“Sure.” Mr. Kakashi shrugged. Hopefully he did not mind.

Trying to get Sakura’s attention, Lee tapped her shoulder, but she kept turning away, eyes straying to follow passersby and distracted by the jostling of banners, as if something would jump at her. Sakura? Tapping her head this time, he had her attention, and pointed towards their new destination. A work in progress! Mr. Kakashi and Dad lead the way to the grill, hand in hand, speaking in low voices. What were they talking about? Perhaps they were coming up with more challenges to fuel their rivalry! So cool! Hopefully one day he had a rival of his own to challenge. They would push each other to get better and better every day, just like Dad and Mr. Kakashi!

Inside, long wooden tables were laid several feet apart, each containing a small grill in the center for patrons to cook on their own meals. The lighting was dim, but the waiter brought them to a secluded table near a window, brightening up the space. Much better for signing and lip reading. Had Dad requested it for them?

Settling next to Sakura on one of the ink blue cushions, Lee turned to ask what she wanted, but her eyes were glued to Mr. Kakashi’s face. Why? While he could be intimidating, he was very nice to Lee whenever he was over. Was it the Anbu uniform? No, Ms. Haruno wore it too. Perhaps the mask made him more - wait! Mask! Reading Lee was no problem, and even Dad was okay. It took a lot of concentration and energy to red lips. Often he plugged his ears up, hoping to find more strategies or techniques to help. It was hard, but with Mr. Kakashi’s mask... she was defeated before she could even try.

“Lee, how about telling Kakashi how your training is going?” Dad asked. Huh? Did he want to know?

“Uh, training continues to be a work in progress, Mr. Kakashi.” Lee answered. What was he going to do? He did not invite Sakura to have her feel excluded. “B-but we get stronger every day.”

“We?” Mr. Kakashi’s single, visible black eye flickered to Sakura, then back. Lee gulped. Whoops. Time to double down or take it back.

“Yes!” Lee said, raising his hand. Dad broke out laughing and patted his head. Even Sakura cracked a smile, though she looked lost. Oh good, perhaps Mr. Kakashi did not know... 

“That’s right, Kakashi! Those two put their hearts into their training every single day. I couldn’t be more proud.” Dad’s words inspired a few of Lee’s tears to spill. He was proud of them! “That’s why today I’m presenting you with your very own jumpsuits!”

“Come on, Guy,” Mr. Kakashi said. “At least wait until graduation.”

“Graduation?!”

How is Sakura? Head down, hands folded under the table… definitely given up on following along. Unacceptable! He would fix this right away! If he could not, then he would practice hand signs for the rest of the night! Tapping her shoulder, he successfully gained her attention. Yes! Okay, he repeated as much as he could remember, first pointing at Dad, mouthing what he said, hand on his chest, then touching his elbow. Did she get that part? It was important she knew he said he was proud of them. Wiping her eyes, she nodded, glancing at Dad like she wanted to hug him. Aww, she got it, but he was not finished.

A few more signs, nod, nod. Yes! She followed! Pointing at Dad, Lee tugged his shirt. Hmm… they had no word for this... Bouncing in his spot, he tugged again, pointing at her, then himself, mouthing ‘jumpsuit.’ Sakura burst out laughing, pointing at her dress.

‘Pink, pink!’ She signed, touching her middle finger to her lip. Lee snorted, and nodded.

‘Yes, yes, pink jumpsuit for you! Of course!’ He signed back. She was too cute! Sakura giggled again.

‘You too! Pink!’ She pointed. His turn to laugh, shaking his head.

‘No way!’ Pink was her color, not his! He would stick with green! Now what did Mr. Kakashi say after? Pointing and turning both hands inward, then at each of them. Nod, nod. Success! A few more signs…

“You see, Kakashi?” Dad wiggled his fingers at Lee’s gesturing, “These kids have created their own way of communicating. Adapt and overcome! Very youthful!” 

Huh? Oh, the adults were staring at them! When did they start watching? Whoops, in his haste to include Sakura, Lee forgot to include them! Sakura shrank and Dad looked amused, grinning from ear to ear.

“That’s really somethin’ else.” Mr. Kakashi said. 

“Unless you plan on removing that mask of yours,” Dad said. “Sakura has no idea what you’re saying.”

“I see.” Mr. Kakashi said. Had Dad dragged him here? He looked tired.

“Er, you should see their notes! They have their own dictionary of words, phrases, and even people's names.” Dad said, signing some of the words he knew. Did he like their language that much? They would need to make a sign for ‘Kakashi.’

“Impressive.” Mr. Kakashi said. He did not look impressed. He looked ready to nap.

“W-well, uh,” Lee said, trying to sign. “It is not perfect, and we have a lot of work to do still, but it helps!”

“How about later on, Sakura can show it to you?” Dad said. 

“Hmm…” Mr. Kakashi shot Dad a look Lee did not understand, “Guy, I agreed already, didn’t I?”

“That’s true.” Dad said, then grinned and wrapped an arm around him. “Alright! I’ll leave it to you!” Leave what to him? What did they plan?

“Thank you.” Mr. Kakashi said, then formed jutsu signs, “Transform!” In his place, a perfect copy of Dad appeared, very strange looking with his lazy, blank expression, but at least he had lips now. “So how much does this help?” Oh, he asked Lee.

“It depends,” Lee started. “He wants to know how well you lip read.” Perhaps she could explain it better. She flicked her hand sideways, signed a few numbers then gestured to her face, dipping her shoulders. Okay, more or less what he thought.

“She picks up around one or two words,” Lee translated, “ More if you speak clearly, then uses facial expressions and body language to fill in the gaps. It is... far from perfect. But she gets better and better every day!” It was all true, though he may have enhanced what she actually said. Much of their practice involved him talking and her guessing his words.

“And she doesn’t talk?” Mr. Kakashi asked. Oh, talk? Uh… that was different.

“Well… she does.” Lee said. How should he explain this?

“She’s just shy.” Dad said, “She’ll talk when she’s used to you.” 

All true! Probably. Mr. Kakashi would have to be around a whole lot for something like that. As far as Lee knew, Sakura spoke only to him for the first year after her accident. Then again, perhaps she was more confident now, so it may not take so long. When their food arrived, Mr. Kakashi seemed to perk up a little. Dad knew what he was doing, but Lee was not much for using this grill. 

“It’s like camping, Lee.” Dad said, “You remember how to cook over a fire don’t you?” Yes! Camping was the best!

“Okay! I will try!” If he burned it, he would eat it anyway! It was not okay to be wasteful. Perhaps he and Sakura could - oh.

Without eating much, she laid her head on his shoulder, eyes half open. Was she tired from all the talking? Perhaps she was not hungry. He probably should have asked before taking her to dinner, or told her ahead of time. Well… he did not mind the little cuddle, she smelled nice, like strawberries. Or perhaps she did not know how to grill either. Okay! He would watch Dad first!

After cleaning their plates, Lee followed the two Jonin to the nearest training grounds, holding Sakura’s hand. At least she was more relaxed, watching him rather than their surroundings. Yes! She felt safe enough with him to let her guard down! Paying extra attention to the area, he would not let her down, though the sunlit streets were mostly quiet. Alright! If they made it all the way home without incident, Sakura would definitely come back out with him. If they did not, she would refuse. Yes! That is the challenge!

The training area was empty, a clearing of crisp green grass, wildflowers, and a group of training dummies, ready to be taken over by a group of youthful fighters under the evening sun. As Mr. Kakashi, transformation jutsu now gone, walked over, hands in his pockets, Sakura became more alert. Beside him, Dad waited, hands on his hips.

“Kakashi, why don’t you work with Sakura,” Dad said. “Lee, mind asking her for me?” Huh? Is that okay? What about the mask? “Don’t worry, they will be fine. Kakashi is a perceptive teacher.”

“Dad wants Mr. Kakashi to train you,” Lee said after gaining her full attention, gesturing towards Mr. Kakashi, then rubbing his knuckles against his finger. “Is that okay?” Sakura looked nervous, then nodded and cupped her hands around Lee’s ear to whisper. 

“Wwhat about Mmom?”

“Sensei, Sakura says yes, but she is confused.” Should he say this part? Perhaps it was best. “She is... not really supposed to train. Ms. Haruno does not allow it.” Would this make him change his mind? Either way, it was best if he understood Ms. Haruno might yell at him. She could be scary.

“Don’t worry about that.” Mr. Kakashi said, “Transform!” Lee found himself looking at… himself, eyes half open, neutral expression. Strange, but his face was perhaps the best one to use. “Go on, Lee.” Sakura smiled, so he let them be. Mr. Kakashi would figure it out. What else could he do?

Wandering over to Dad, Lee stood to attention. Hands on his hips, Dad seemed more serious today. Were they doing something new?

“Lee, every day you work hard to become a splendid shinobi, one that will stand shoulder to shoulder with those born with gifts you don’t possess. You make me proud.” Dad said, putting a hand on his shoulder. Tears spilled down Lee’s cheeks and he wiped them away. “No matter how difficult, you continue to stick with your goals and push forward. And that’s why today, I present you with your very own nunchucks. You’ve more than earned it! Practice hard until you master this weapon, then practice more!”

Two pairs of nunchucks were held out and Lee took them, cradling them to his chest, examining them through salty tears. The handles were covered in a thick layer of lime green training padding, similar to the set Dad carried in his belt. Now Lee had a set of his own, balanced and weighted just for him. Despite being adopted, Dad decided to pass down the art of nunchaku from his father to Lee. Truly an honor he would strive to be worthy of. Not for the first time, he wished to have met his grandfather, even if only once. Strong arms enveloped him in a firm hug and he could not stop blubbering long enough to speak, though he tried.

“Th-thank you,” He hiccuped and sniffled, “I w-will-...” He could not, words refused to work.

“Of course you will. I never doubted you for a second.” Dad kissed his head, and pulled back, face wet with tears of his own. “Now let’s get you started with some basic movements.” He pulled out his own nunchucks and demonstrated, spinning and weaving with expert grace and intensity. Right! Observe, memorize, repeat! “Now you try.”

“Yes! If I cannot do six hundred perfect swings, then I will do seven hundred push ups!” Lee said, beating the dummy. Tapping him on the shoulder, Sakura motioned for a marker. Oh right, they were all in his pocket. Handing them over, she ran off. 

“That’s the spirit Lee!” Dad said. “Now Kakashi and I have a challenge awaiting. Finish up here, and head on home.”

“Yes Sensei!” Lee said. “Perhaps next time we can watch? I do not believe Sakura has seen any of your competitions yet.”

“Aw, of course you can, my youthful student.” Pulling Lee into a tight hug, he kissed the top of his head, “I will see you at home, I love you, Lee.” Dad was the best!

“I love you too Dad.” Lee let go as Sakura and Mr. Kakashi walked up, no longer transformed. She had an extra bounce in her step and seemed eager to talk. What happened? Dad kissed the top of her head.

“I love you too, stay with Lee.”

‘Yes, Guy-sensei. I love you.’ She held up her hand- pinky, index finger, and thumb.

“Are we doing this, Guy?”

“Of course, Kakashi! Let us fight with all the power of our youth!” The pair vanished. Okay, he was dying to know what happened with Mr. Kakashi.

“Sakura! What happened?” He signed.

“Leee, I took a tesst!”

“A test?” Lee’s eyebrows tried to disappear into his bangs. They failed. She nodded, “What kind of test? Did you pass? What did Mr. Kakashi say? What does it mean?”

“Slow downn, you are talking too ffast.” Sakura said, her smile stayed anyway. “Mr. Kakashi is going to help mme learn the basics of ninnjutsu, aand he’s getting books. He said I can sstudy to be a medical nin!”

“Seriously? Sakura, that is awesome! Is that what you want?” Lee asked. Even if it was not, surely learning was still a good thing. Would she want to be a medic? It would mean staying out of danger, away from the front, and he could not help but be happy about that.

“I think sso.” She said, tapping her head. “Hhe said… not to expect too mmuch, so I will try to be careful…he might decide nnot to anymore, iif it’s not wworking.” What did that mean?

“Not working?” He asked, waving his hands.

“Yes... If I amm not capable enough, hhe will sstop oour training.” Oh... that did not seem fair. No one was capable at the start, right? Perhaps Lee did not understand, or Sakura misunderstood.

“Well, I am certain you will be fine!” He signed.

“Aalso, he used his… sh… shaar-ingann to learn a bunch of our ssigns, aand made ssome nnew ones.” Opening her notepad, she showed him the word ‘sharingan’ Mr. Kakashi wrote beside a rough depiction of an eye and a sketch of a hand. “Is that right? Did I ssay it right?”

“Very close! Good work, Sakura!” Lee said.

“Lee, iif this works, I won’t be useless aanymore!”

“Sakura, you are never useless.” Lee’s stomach dropped. Did she really think that way? He put his hands on her shoulders, and spoke clearly so there was no mistaking his lips, “You are not useless. No matter what. Okay?”

“I know...” She said, but did not meet his eyes, “I am ssorry Lee, I just…”

“As long as you believe in yourself, anything is possible!” Lee said, giving her a thumbs up, Sakura smiled. Wait… this was good news, but... “What about your mom?” Her face fell. He should not have asked.

“I … do not think she would nnotice, iif we are careful.”

That answer... Lee drooped, but she was probably right. Ms. Haruno was nice when he saw her, but she refused to learn any of their hand signs. Why not? Dad did, and apparently Mr. Kakashi did too. Did she not care about talking to Sakura? When Dad talked to her, all she said was it was not her problem. That did not make any sense. Either way, keeping such a big secret was bound to get Sakura into trouble.

“...Please be careful.” He said. 

“If this does nnot wwork, it won’t mmatter anyway.” That was true. He did not care for the lying, even by omission, but he would not tell Sakura what to do. Ms. Haruno would keep Mr. Kakashi, er Kakashi-sensei from teaching her if they told.

“Want to go for a run?” He jogged in place, suddenly bursting with energy. She nodded, tucking her notepad into her pocket, then filling his with markers. “Race you? First one to that tree and back wins! If I lose, I will do one thousand sprints in the yard! Ready?”

“Race?” She asked. He nodded, “Ookay, but yyou always wwin.” She stuck her tongue out at him. He laughed.

“Maybe so, but there is only one way to know for sure. Ready, set, go!” He counted down on his fingers. They took off!

Bolting like his legs were on fire, Lee’s heart rate rocketed. Yes! Running was the best! Flying! Pounding the grass, weighted by his training weights, he touched the tree and ran back. Sakura tapped the tree, only a step behind. And made it! Yes! Stopping on the spot, he threw his hands up in a victory cheer. Too bad about the sprints, perhaps he would do them anyway. Sakura grabbed him around the middle, giggling.

“Ssafe!”

“Wrong game!” He laughed, warmth flooded his cheeks. Sakura was always safe with him.


	5. Sakura: Wilting in Silence

‘Again.’ Kakashi-sensei arced his hand, sitting in their tree on a thick branch. 

As always, his book was open. Every time he came over, he read through the entire lesson. Wiping sweat from her brow, breathing hard, Sakura nodded, and produced another shadow clone. This time it looked pretty good. Right? Was it okay? Maybe? Turning a lazy eye towards her, Kakashi-sensei returned to his book and gave another arcing motion. She could’ve cried, still not good enough. How many has she made already?

‘Again.’ Her clone poofed. What was wrong that time? Somehow his uninterested glances and disapproving hand waves were worse than getting punished. Sakura tried not to flinch every time.

“Yes, sensei.” She said, biting down an apology. Though it’d only been a few months, she discovered he hated excuses. If she made too many, he’d leave.

What time was it? Mom usually awoke after Lee arrived home from school, but lately he went to the grounds or training rooms. Leaping down, Kakashi-sensei landed in front of her, book gone. Did he hate putting it down to talk to her? Probably. To be fair, it was likely the more interesting of the two.

‘You are not focused.’ He glanced towards the house. He was right, she was so worried about getting caught. ‘I’m leaving if you won’t focus.’

No, please don’t! Stupid, of course he was going to leave. He probably had much better things to do than hang around her all day. She was so stupid, she should have done better.

“I am sorry, Kakashi-sensei. Please, may I try once more?”

Pathetic, begging him like this. If he refused, she wouldn’t blame him. Did Guy-sensei ask him to do this? Leaning against the tree, he went back to his book and moved his hand.

‘Again.’ 

One more chance, she had to get it right this time. Okay, Sakura brought an image of herself to mind. Every imperfection, every strand of hair, every crinkle in her sunflower dress, even her big forehead. Exhale.

‘Shadow clone jutsu.’ Please be right. Please, please be right. He looked over then nodded.

‘Good.’ He signed, placing his fingers against his mask. Whew, finally! Sakura almost dropped in relief. Picking up her backpack, he tossed it at her, nearly knocking her over, ‘Read those books by next week.’

“Yes, sensei.” She nodded and hugged the bag. When his droopy eye fixed on her, her spine straightened. He didn’t seem to enjoy teaching her, so why did he do it?

‘There’s a scroll in there with more hand signs. Memorize them. If you’re confused about any of the motions…’ He shrugged, waved his hand, then poof, gone in a cloud of vapor.

‘Yes, sensei.’ She signed, just in case he could see her still. ‘Thank you.’

Don’t apologize again, he won’t like it. Dragging her bag into the house, through the kitchen, up the stairs, she stuffed it into the back of her closet. 

Oh, her clone followed. Um... Was that supposed to happen? Heading into the hallway, she went down the cold, wooden staircase and into the kitchen. At least there was no creaking anymore. Flipping on the stove, Sakura put the kettle on for Mom’s tea and waited. Her clone pulled out the mug and canister, then poofed. Oh, that was nice of her. Maybe she ought to have a name? 

It was Kakashi-sensei who taught her to make them, maybe it should relate to him? Other than reading all the time, she didn’t know much about him. Maybe from one of the stories he brought her. Hmm... oh! Belle! As a character, she loved books too, so it was perfect! Maybe he likes bells, wouldn’t that be silly? Probably not though.

Sakura inspected the countertops for tiny papers, maybe Mom left new notes. They were everywhere, on the fridge, cabinets, doors, and even light switches, telling her things to do or not do or how to do. It was fine, Mom didn’t really have time to learn a new language just to talk to her. It made sense. Oh, a new little blue note stuck to the counter.

_ Stay home. I mean it. _

Stay home? Why would she write that? Did Sakura miss something? What wasn’t done? Last night, she vacuumed, dusted, laundry, mopped… Another note on the counter, green:

_It’s for your own good. You can’t do normal things._ Yes Mom. She knew that. This one would go on the cabinet. Normal things... like go to school, apparently.

As steam began spewing from the kettle, Sakura clicked open the lid and poured into a plain ceramic mug, then a metal canister, adding a tea bag to each. Wait a few minutes, then add sugar and cream. Yawning, Mom walked into the kitchen, already dressed in her black uniform, mask in hand. Sakura moved aside. She was probably leaving for work early again. A sticky not was stuck to her arm, yellow this time. 

_I have to leave town for a day._ Sakura nodded and added it to the fridge.

Leaving? So she’d be gone for a whole day? Sakura would get to read and practice as much as she wanted! But… was the mission dangerous? Would Mom come home safe? As a professional, well trained member of the Anbu, she would be fine, but... it didn’t stop Sakura from worrying. What did she do at work? Was it dangerous? Probably, since her uniform was all black and gray, and she worked through the night. All Sakura knew was she left the village almost every night. Usually she was home every day.

According to Mom, the Hokage knew she was a single parent and tried to keep her missions short for them. Maybe it was how Guy-sensei was home almost every day, though he went on lots of missions too. She was pretty sure he was a teacher. Not an Academy teacher, but a Mentor teacher, who taught graduates. Sometimes he talked about it, but not much. Kakashi-sensei was in Anbu too, she was pretty sure, since he wore a similar uniform, and moved like Mom did, like a shadow on the wall. Guy-sensei was the total opposite, like someone who was used to a whole bunch of Lee’s.

Mom pulled a casserole dish from the freezer, stuck it in the oven, then sipped her tea. Another sticky note, blue:

_You may have one scoop, no more._ Did she mean for today or per meal? Better assume for today. _ Be good for Guy. Don’t embarrass me. _Sakura nodded, though Mom wasn’t looking. Did Guy-sensei talk to her? Did Sakura do something bad? This one would go on her bedroom door. Mom went into the living room and sat at the metal table, staring at the front door.

Was she thinking about Dad? Sometimes, Sakura wondered about him, but she never had the nerve to ask anything. He was long gone and never, ever coming back. Sitting in the other chair, she pulled her knees to her chest. Ladies didn’t sit like this, but she couldn’t help it. … What did Dad look like? Did she look like him? Once in a while, Mom stared at her, but didn’t see her. Who did she see? Or maybe she wasn’t worth looking at.

Their living room wasn’t much to look at: sparsely decorated, with a few metal chairs, which were uncomfortable after a while. Probably to avoid having guests stay too long, though sometimes Mom’s friends came over and sat around the table. No picture frames, no shelf trinkets, no artwork. Not like Guy-sensei’s house. Mom smacked her knees and Sakura put her feet down, straightening her dress.

Mom’s Anbu mask rested on her hip. It gave her nightmares when she was little. A floating, headless face in the dark, chasing her with gaping teeth and black eyes… She asked Guy-sensei about it, he wrote something like:

_ Those masks are meant to be scary, but it’s more than that. It’s not a monster, think of them as guardians. As a shinobi in Anbu, keeping your identity secret is how you stay safe. Much better than the eating. It wasn’t so scary after that, anything to keep them safe._

Despite that, she made Mom a new one with prettier colors and a nicer decoration: a glittery butterfly. It took a long time, days of letting paint dry, adding new layers. Guy-sensei helped, providing a hiding place until it was done… When she was ready, Guy-sensei ushered her into the kitchen to present it. Mom had just come down the stairs, Sakura padded across the floor and held it out. It was ripped from her hands and snapped in two, then tossed in the garbage. After that, she was pretty sure she and Guy-sensei argued. It was a bad idea, Sakura should’ve known better.

Mom stood up, slid on her mask, grabbed her canister, and left, a sticky note on the table in her absence.

_Stay home. I will know._ Sakura left it there.

Upstairs, Sakura pulled out her books. May as well get started now that she was alone. It was that or the long list of chores, but there were new books to go through! Thank you so much Kakashi-sensei! He was the sweetest, bringing her story books as well as textbooks. The first was giant, filled with images of the human body and the chakra network. A medical book! Bringing it over to her desk, Sakura retrieved a notebook and started reading. A few pages in, she reeled, dizzy and confused. How old did he think she was? This stuff was way over her head! Ugh, she didn’t know half the words!

But if Kakashi-sensei wanted her to read it, she would. Better to at least try, or he might change his mind about teaching her. Thankfully, she also had a dictionary. It would get a lot of use on this one. What were the other books? She had to know! _The Beginners Guide to Chakra Control_ , _The Study of Medicine: Herbal Edition, Alice in Wonderland,_ and _How to Jutsu for Dummies_. Well…okay... Not exactly academy books, but if Kakashi-sensei must’ve picked them for a reason. 

Oh, at the bottom of the bag was a folder covered in scribbles filled with loose paper. Lots of the things he brought were damaged already. Where did he get them from? Another, small paperback sat underneath: Leaves and Petals. That one sounded fun, but better start on the Chakra one first, save the best for last. At least it looked to be more her speed, for now. She cracked it open:

_ Chapter One: What is Chakra?  _

_ Chakra is a form of Life energy found in all individuals, manifested within the body and controlled by the primary organs. This energy circulates throughout the body in a network called the Chakra Pathway… _

Sitting on the edge of her desk, the thick blue cover of the medical book taunted her. Well... she grabbed for it again. Maybe she should read through it first, just to see. That way, she could make a list of all the things she didn’t understand and ask Kakashi-sensei about them. Maybe that was why he gave her more paper. She would need it.

Sakura read the title of _Chapter One: Neuroscience, Brain & Mind. _Okay! Dictionary! Notes! She was ready! Kakashi-sensei wanted her to learn to be a doctor from books, so she would. Then she could ask him all the questions she had written down. Was Kakashi-sensei a doctor? Maybe? Did Anbu have medical ninja? Right, book. … ... 

Woah, brains were complicated, but Sakura had to learn everything she could, then she wouldn’t have to bother him with too many questions. Her dictionary helped a lot. The name Tsunade was referenced a few times so far, though she wasn’t a neurologist. Did they have any in the Hidden Leaf?

An hour and a bunch of notes later, Sakura put a sticky note in the book and closed it, then headed downstairs. Brain full... more reading tonight. Pulling the casserole out of the over, she set it on the counter and turned off the heat. She hadn’t eaten yet, forgetting in favor of Kakashi-sensei’s lessons. Scooping a spoodle of the sloppy white mixture into a bow, she sat on the floor. What should she make for Lee’s lunch tomorrow? He needed lots of energy to maintain his training, and probably wouldn’t want any of this weird, creamy soup stuff. Setting aside her bowl, she dug through the lower cabinet for Mom’s cookbooks. Easy Meals for the Everyday Ninja, Microwave Cooking Made Easy!, and Konoha’s Top 100 Quick Bakes! No… no… no... Wasn’t there anything better?

Oh, here! _A Shinobi’s Guide To Healthy Cooking, The Joy of Baking,_ and _ Kunoichi’s Kitchen: What’s Cookin’? _These looked super old, all beat up and yellowing. Sakura opened the last one and a stack of handwritten recipes fell out, in delicate cursive writing. Huh? That’s not Mom’s writing. Many of them had splotches of oil or water, some of the ink spread out. She’d have to rewrite them. At the bottom, a name was scrawled across, quick and light. It was her grandmother. Did she ever meet her? Well… they looked yummy, maybe Lee would like some of them. Maybe she could bring some to Kakashi-sensei too, as a thank you.

Hmm… she’d have to go shopping. They didn’t have any eggs or milk handy, mostly just cans or boxes. Picking out a recipe, Sakura made a grocery list. It was much, thankfully, since she wasn’t supposed to have money. Guy-sensei gave her and Lee a little when they did extra big chores, and it wasn’t like she went anywhere to use it. Finishing her bowl, she stuck the leftovers in the fridge, grabbed her satchel, and put on sandals. It wasn’t too late to go out, but... at the door she stopped.

She never went shopping before. Knocking her head against the door, her stomach was in knots. Why did she have to eat dinner first? Should she ask Guy-sensei if it was okay? Should she ask Lee to go with? No, they were busy and shouldn’t be interrupted. They probably weren’t home anyway. 

Lee was allowed to go to the market by himself, but... there was a big difference between him and her. Her hand hovered over the handle and she chewed her lip. Mom would be angry if she found out. Very angry... What would she do if she found out? Sakura snatched her hand back. Would it be that bad? But she really wanted to make something nice for Lee, he didn’t have time to make himself lunches. Okay, even if she was locked in the basement again, it would be worth it! Well... Sakura shivered. It was scary… was she okay with being down in the musty, dark cellar all alone?

Grabbing an empty shopping bag, she opened the door and stepped out. No people were out, as usual. Their neighborhood was so quiet, so it wasn’t surprising. At least no one could tell Mom on her. The less people, the better.

The market wasn’t too far away, but it wasn’t close either. Each step got harder and harder to take as she drew closer. People bumped and jostled, kicking up gravel dust as she entered the shopping district. Following the flow of traffic, Sakura ended up in front of a vegetable vendor, shaking, palms sweaty. What did she need again? Right, the list. Fumbling, she dug in her bag. There were so many people around, so many moving things, a dull throbbing in her ears, but nothing distinct. The back of her neck prickled and she hunched her shoulders. Why did she do this? Moving people passing by, dogs in the street, kids running, hands on things. Couldn’t watch everything at once! Deep breaths, everything was fine. Stay out of the way, everything was fine.

Behind the booth, the grandmotherly lady stared, mouth moving with pinched lips. Talking to Sakura? Pulling out her notepad, she reached for a marker, but her hand shook so much, she dropped it. Oh no, where did it go? She scoured the ground, searching around shuffling feet, kicking up bits of rock and dirt. Nevermind, get a different one, she had more.

Another deep breath, she brushed hair from her face. The old lady looked angry, mouth turned down, an older man beside her pointed at Sakura, spittled flying from a stretched out mouth. Yelling? No, no please don’t be angry! He started to come around, so she gave up and ran, trying to see through foggy tears. Why did she do this? She should’ve known better. Mom was right. Ducking out of the crowd, into a side street, she leaned against a building, chest heaving with sobs, wiping her face.

Okay, okay, try again or go home? Pulling out her list, maybe give this to the vendor instead? Over her paper, a taller boy hovered and she froze. What should she do? Why was he watching her? Dark, fluffy curls, a mole on his cheek, his mouth moved beneath a frown. Why? What did she do? Another boy appeared, black hair, also talking. No, she couldn’t understand, it was too much. She shook her head. Curly stepped closer, face turning red, a low rumble rolling from him. She shrank back, he shoved her. No, no, her tears were back. Please stop! Another shove, she tripped towards the crowded market. Why was he pushing her? The words refused to come. Shaking her head, Sakura scrambled to her feet. Please stop, go away!

List crinkled up in her sweaty palm, Sakura ran, dodging around bodies and tripping over feet. She shouldn’t have left home. Why did she think she could do this? She couldn’t do normal things. Pausing, she glanced around. Where was she? Where was the vegetable vendor? Every direction looked the same. The boys were gone, but so was anything familiar. What should she do? Maybe it was this way? Picking a direction, she tried to retrace her steps.

Mom was right, Sakura was stupid. People brushed past her, she tried to become smaller. She should find a corner and cry. No, at least find home first. Guy-sensei was going to be so mad at her, so disappointed... she sobbed, roaming around. So stupid! She shouldn’t have left! How did she get lost? Lee could probably go shopping by himself and not get lost or yelled at. Why was she so useless? Even something as simple as this... 

Wiping her face, something big and hard knocked her over, she landed on her side, sliding on her hands. They stung, burning and bleeding around patches of missing skin. What happened? Pushing up on wobbly legs, people stared, a few looked angry. A man yelled, holding a bike, covered in gravel dust. Did he ask her to move? Shaking her head, Sakura ran away. She was good at that. 

Where was home? She just wanted to curl up in her closet and forget all about shopping. There had to be something, anything that would tell her which way to go, right? 

A tap on her shoulder, she flinched and whirled around. Did those boys come back? Guy-sensei! She threw herself at him and wept. He picked her up, she wrapped her arms around his neck and hid in the collar of his flak jacket. Forced to help her… she didn’t want to look at his face, to see the disappointment and fury sure to be there. If Lee was around, she didn’t want to see his either. Hopefully Guy-sensei wasn’t too angry and wouldn’t lock her in her room or the basement, but she deserved it. If she never left her house again, no one would have to be angry with her. Guy-sensei uncurled her fingers and took the crumpled paper.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again, I’ll stay home, I’m sorry.” She repeated.

While they walked around, he rubbed her back, stopping now and then, chest vibrating. Maybe he was apologizing to everyone who dealt with her. Sniffling, another wave of tears. No, stop it! Such a baby, a stupid, useless crybaby. Guy-sensei had better things to do than rescuing her from her own stupid choices. It wasn’t fair he got stuck with such a pathetic neighbor, anyone else would’ve been fine on their own.

Please don’t be too angry, Guy-sensei, she’d never bother him again, she’d stay away from the market. He tapped her shoulder, but she shook her head. Please no, not yet, please... He held her, rubbing soothing circles on her back while she sobbed and hiccuped. Great, she got his vest all wet, another thing she made him deal with.

He set her down and she wiped her face on her sleeves. They were in her kitchen, when did that happen? Setting her little shopping bag on the counter, Guy-sensei kneeled. She braced herself. All the possible punishments ran through her head. Would he lock her away? Tell her not to come over anymore? Do laps? Sit in the corner? Please, please don’t tell Mommy. Would he tell? Maybe he would hit her. Mom did, when she was bad. Whatever he chose, she deserved it. It was her own fault.

Was he angry? He didn’t look as angry as she expected. More sad? Maybe? He moved his hand, she flinched, here it comes, but he froze. Oh no, she shouldn’t have - he unfroze and wiped his sleeve across her cheeks, cleaning off her fresh tears. Then, he signed, moving his mouth at the same time. Pay super close attention, so he didn’t need to repeat anything.

“If you need something, please ask me.” He said. She nodded, but she didn’t want to bother him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t wanna interrupt, Mommy was gone already, and -” Sakura was crying again. Stupid.

“It is what I’mhere for.” He grinned at her, teeth sparkling, “Nothing has changed, Sakura. You are still my favorite little girl, okay?” She nodded, and he gave her another hug, kissing the top of her head.

Whatever Mommy was paying him to take care of her, it was not enough. Sakura was too much trouble. When he pulled away, he looked around, and stared at a few of the notes on the fridge. Didn’t he see those already? When had he come over last? Usually Sakura went to his house, or outside. What was he thinking about? His face was… flat? Which one was he reading? It could be anything from a chore list, mealtimes, bedtimes, what she was allowed to eat and how much, how to fold towels, there were so many... 

“Mommy doesn’t have time.” Sakura said before she could stop herself.

Nodding, he patted her head, giving her another sparkly smile. At least she wasn’t in trouble. Right? She wasn’t? He didn’t want her going out again, but that’s okay. He was right, she couldn’t be trusted on her own. Guy-sensei didn’t need this from her.

“So what did you need this for?” He asked, gesturing towards the bag. He shopped? Oh, right. Sakura felt her face heat up as she picked up one of the recipes from the floor and showed it to him.

“Do you think Lee would like this?” She asked. He exaggerated his thinking pose, looked over the paper and nodded. She bit her lip and waited. Was it good? Or bad? He peeked at her over the page, then gave her a thumbs up, handing it back. Yes! Lee’s lunch was picked out! Sakura would get started right away!


	6. Lee: Spirits of the Fireflies

Home from his morning run, Lee skidded to a stop at the foot of his porch stairs, Sakura’s lunchbox sat at his door. Aww, she wasn’t waiting outside for him. Perhaps still recovering from her market visit, Dad said was a rough day. Poor Sakura... Lee would have gone along if she wanted, but he was out training at the time. Picking it up, he was startled by the weight. What did she make? It was a nice box, covered in flower stickers and silver glitter specks embedded in green plastic. Another thing the boys at school taunted him over.

Oh well, Sakura made him lunch every single day and he would eat it no matter what was inside! Wandering into the kitchen, he poked through the boxes of cereal and sat at the table, munching away. Kakashi-sensei was standing across from the coffee pot, talking with Dad.

“So Kakashi, how do you like being a teacher?” Dad said, grinning, leaning against the counter. They each held a mug of coffee, though it was beyond Lee how Kakashi-sensei was drinking it.

“Fine “ Kakashi-sensei shrugged. If they ever had a shrugging challenge, he would win for sure.

“Thinking about getting your own genin squad soon?” Dad asked, smile never wavering despite the dry response. “These Anbu missions don’t become you, just keep working with Sakura, and I’m sure you’ll see how rewarding teaching can be.” A strong thumbs up there. Good call!

Shrugging again, Kakashi-sensei threw in a sigh and leaned back against the counter. Wow, Lee was sure the thumbs up would do the trick. The mug traveled to and from his mask, Lee tried not to stare, and focused on his colorful breakfast. They paid him no mind, but still, staring was rude. Hopefully Kakashi-sensei continued to work with Sakura, it seemed like it was good for them both. Dad thought so, it must be true.

“Surely passing your knowledge to the next youthful generation is a worthy challenge for a genius like yourself.” Ooh, Dad was going all out. How could Kakashi-sensei resist a taunt like that? On the edge of his seat, Lee held his breath for a response.

“Eh, kids are weird.” Kakashi-sensei said, turning his droopy eye on Lee. Woah! He rebuffed it so easily!

“Even me?” Lee asked, grinning at the attention, putting his pearly whites on a dazzling display. Truly Dad’s rival was formidable!

“You especially, kid.” Kakashi-sensei added. Dad laughed, throwing his head back. Bringing his bowl to the sink, Lee stuck his tongue out at Kakashi-sensei, ran upstairs to get dressed, then left for school.

The walk was as lonely as ever. A void hovered at his side, an emptiness where Sakura should be. It was not fair, she belonged in the Academy, she was meant to be there with him. A breeze ruffled his hair outside the building, carrying a sweet, floral scent. Lee closed his eyes… morning glories and… honeysuckle? Sakura? His hand reached out, but hers did not reach back. Sighing, he headed in, collapsing in his seat. In his usual spot, Funeno-sensei sipped coffee. What was with adults and their coffee?

Other students trickled in, giving Lee a wide berth. Every single day, he did his best no matter what, it was his Ninja Way, but it did not matter. The boys still taunted and jeered, the girls pointed and cringed, the adults shook their heads and pinched their noses. If they did not, then they ignored him. Who knew moulding chakra would be so hard? No matter, he worked hard anyway! Dad said he could become a splendid ninja, just like him! Who needed chakra? Not him.

However… Sakura theorized about it. Chakra is created by blending both physical energy from one’s cells, and spiritual energy, from one’s consciousness, within the body. This happens naturally, replenishing the Chakra Network. She believed he may have way more of one than the other, making it harder for his body to keep blending enough to perform jutsu. When he tried to release the energy using hand signs, it could not respond, unable to keep up. Considering his taijutsu, it was likely physical energy he had much of, if Sakura was correct. 

If this was the case, he could test it by trying to increase his spiritual energy through medication or study, but Lee could not sit still! He. Tried. So. Hard! But his brain refused, it wanted to run! Sitting in class was torture, it took every ounce of self control to not leap down the hallways. Already he was twitching in his seat, pretending he was punching something.

This was so boring, why must he sit here? He would not be able to make a shadow clone, transform, or substitute. He would be fast, strong, and dangerous, but not because of jutsu. Flopping onto his desk, he closed his eyes and sighed as Funeno-sensei went over the signs to perform a transformation. At this rate, school was for napping. Perhaps he could ask to practice outside during these lessons.

BRRING

Finally a break! They were led outside and he plunked under the tree closest to the building. Everyone else spread out in the grass in small or large circles, gossiping and eating while Funeno-sensei spoke with another teacher, Akame-sensei. He had a pointed, angry face, yelled a lot, and an eye patch. Not many kids liked him.

Being outside was nice sometimes, but Haruki and his friends were more likely to tease Lee. Not that it mattered, they were wrong, and one day he would prove it! Until then though, he would endure. Opening Sakura’s box, Lee found a brownie, an apple, carrots, a juice pouch, and little flat disc-shaped breaded things. Holding back tears, his heart soared. Oh Sakura was so sweet! She probably made the brownies herself too!

What were these? Poking the discs, he picked one up and bit into it. Huh? It was delicious! But what was he eating? Something with veggies and cheese. Oh, she stuck a little green note on the underside of the lid: 

Stuffed potato pancakes ~Love, Sakura. 

She said love! He could cry! Best day ever! Sakura made him lunch and left him a note and said love! She loved him! If she were here, he would hug her so much! Hopefully he would see her tonight, he would train at home today, just in case. Yes! He must thank her!

“Nice lunch box, Dork Lee.” Haruki said. Aww, he did not want to deal with him today. Was he alone at least? Nevermind, Lee ate another pancake. Perhaps he was being friendly for once.

“Thank you.” He said. It was a nice lunchbox, just the right size and everything. And the stickers were bright and colorful! Oh, he just answered to the name Dork Lee. Well... 

“So when are you dropping out, Dork Lee?” Haruki asked as his back up chorus arrived.

Not being friendly. In that case, Lee ignored him and bit his apple. Dropping out was not going to happen. He would graduate, no matter what! But, they would not listen, so he would not talk. Maro, Oda, and Haruki surrounded him, cornering him against the tree, minimizing escape routes. Lee avoided looking at anyone, perhaps they would get bored and go away. Then Maro, a mean, frumpy boy, snatched the box from his lap, scattering the rest of his lunch onto the grass.

“Hey!” Lee jumped to his feet. “Give that back!”

“It’s so girly, lookit all these pretty flowers.” Maro taunted. Yes, they were pretty flowers, but Lee kept his eyes on the box.

“Did your mommy buy it for you?” Oda said.

The box was tossed to Haruki, who held it between his fingers, away from his body. It would be easy to steal it back from a grip like that. Lee lowered his stance. Too far away... Oda was closer.

“Gross, Dork Lee touched this. Careful or you might catch his chakra cooties.” Haruki twisted his face into a grimace, then tossed the box. Wait for it... 

“I don’t want the chakra cooties!” Oda shouted, catching it, then chucked it to Maro. Now! Lee snatched it mid air, snapped the lid and tucked it under his arm. That would not happen again. Sakura entrusted him with her box, no one else!

“What’s going on over here?” Funeno-sensei walked over, hands on his hips. “You boys had better be playing nice, or it’ll be detention for the lot of you.”

“We were - oof!” Maro argued, Oda elbowed him in the ribs.

“We were just playing, Sensei, honest.”

Under the scrutiny of their normally jolly teacher, the trio stalked off, shoulders hunched. Relaxing, Lee picked up his food. What a waste... Funeno-sensei helped, picking up one of the pancakes and giving it a curious look before handing it to Lee.

“Who’s the Chef?” Funeno-sensei asked. Chef? Oh, who made his lunch?

“Uh, my friend Sakura.” Lee said. “She cooks a lot now.” Perhaps he would feed the squirrels in his yard. He liked squirrels, they did not mind a bit of dirt.

“Ah, right…” Sensei winced, looking sorry he asked, a frozen smile. Did he know who Sakura was? Lee saw Kakashi-sensei at his school the other day with Iruka-sensei and Funeno-sensei. Perhaps they talked about her.

“Sensei, may I stay out here during our ninjutsu and genjutsu lessons? I promise I will stay close and only work on my taijutsu.” Since they were alone, he may as well ask.

“I don’t know Lee... I’ll talk to some of the other teachers about it. You’ve always been a well behaved student... Maybe if you stay where I can see you from the classroom... I’ll have to get permission from your Dad too.” 

Yes! Dad would definitely say it was okay! Lee nodded, and followed him back inside. Lunch was over already. A third sigh of the day. Time to stare out the window again. Dad said something about eating out with Kakashi-sensei again, but was it today or tomorrow? Would Sakura want to come with? Probably not, but he would ask anyway.

After school, Lee went to his backyard and placed his leftovers by their tree, then into Sakura’s house. Two squirrels ran down the trunk and snatched up the treats. Yes! Setting the empty box on the kitchen counter, he glanced around. There sure were a lot of notes everywhere... Even on the light switch? What? How did Sakura keep up with all these? Lee avoided reading them. It was rude, and they were not meant for him. Right! Time to train! He waited all day!

If he could not do one hundred perfect kicks, then he would do five hundred perfect punches! Thwack, thwack, thwack! The glass door opened, and Sakura stepped outside, dressed in a light blue overall skirt over leggings, carrying a heavy, ratty blue textbook with white block letters and a notebook. If she could not train with Kakashi-sensei, she could carry that around as her weapon. It was huge! Almost as big as she was! It was more like a tome than a book.

Between strikes, he waved to her. Perhaps he could get her to train with him, then they could work on some hand signs. Rubbing his knuckles on his finger, he faced her and signed, speaking slowly.

“Want to practice with me?” He pointed at the log. Biting her lip, she eyed her book, then set it in the grass, almost pitching over, and nodded. Yes! “Also, thank you for the lunch. It was wonderful!” And the adorable love note.

She smiled, which did strange things to his stomach. So cute, little button nose, big, sparkly green eyes, long pink hair, probably super soft... Oh, he was staring. Not the time, it was important for Sakura to learn taijutsu! Right! A challenge! If he could not help Sakura perfect her hit, then he would do one thousand punches!

“Want me to show you? Ms. Haruno is not home, right?” He signed.

“Yess please, Lee.” She said. Yes! She said yes!

Okay, Lee took her hands and wrapped her fingers, down to her wrists. It would not do for Sakura to hurt herself, she had not developed the hands for this time of training. Hopefully she would not, hers were smooth, all nice and soft, he liked them very much the way they were. Wrapping an extra layer would not hurt…

Okay! He tugged her in front of the log. Hmm... getting behind her, he adjusted her form, knees bent, hands up, elbows tucked. Perfect! Then he guided her through a slow motion punch and stepped back. She hit the log.

“Close!” Lee gestured for her to try again. “Almost!”

Well… she completely lost the stance he put her in. No matter! Putting his hands on her hips, he nudged her feet back into place, a slightly wider position, tucking her elbows closer. That is not quite right… Why did it look off? It was hard moving someone else… Perhaps he could… Taking the stance himself, he molded Sakura’s form inside his. Perfect! She was just the right size to fit and hold the pose! Steady... taking her fists, Lee guided her through a hit.

“W-woah!” She flailed and fell forward, giggling. He caught her around the middle, “Ssorry!”

He laughed. She forgot to move her feet! Okay, okay, this time they would do it! Hmm… How to… Right! He nudged his sandals under her bare feet until she stepped on them.

“Alright, this time try not falling.” He teased. Even if he faced away from her, Sakura liked when he spoke. Something about the shape of his voice? Or the feel? He did not understand, but he would talk if she enjoyed it.

Standing on him would mess up her balance, but she would get a feel for the motions, even if he had to hold her up! Hold her… Oh, he was… arms around her waist, the scent of strawberry brushed his nose, allied with blush, petal soft tresses. They were so close... she was soft and warm... Or was it him who was warm? If he asked, perhaps she would let him hold her for a while… if she would want to... 

She turned her head and looked at him, confused. Oh, uh, right! Do not get distracted, Sakura needed him to teach her! Again he went through it, tight guard, step in, tap the log! Victory! No falling, perfect form! Standing back, he watched a moment, to be sure, but she had it. Great work! Swinging himself up to a lower branch, he started chin-ups. One… two… three… four... If he could not do four hundred pull ups, he would do five hundred squats!

“Leee, do you want to play a gaamme?” Sakura asked, poking his ankle weight. Yes! Perfect timing, he just finished and games sounded great! Lee nodded and let go, landing in a crouch. What should they play? Hmm... Oh!

“We should play ninjas!” He said, signing and spelling. Sakura jumped up and down. A winner! “I wanna be Dad!”

“Oof course!” Sakura said, sticking her tongue out at him, then pointed at herself, “Kakashi-ssensei?” Perfect! Usually, Sakura was Ms. Haruno, but Kakashi-sensei and his Dad worked together, and they were rivals! Now they would need to dress up…

“Do you have any masks?” Lee signed.

“Noo.” She shook her head, “But I hhave an idea. Come innside?”

Soon they were laying on the cool tile of the kitchen surrounded by construction paper, scissors, tape, markers, and glue. They were going to make their costumes! Sakura glued a blue strip of paper onto a white paper bag while Lee found some forest-y colored sheets. Dad wore lots of green, probably to blend in with the leaves in the Leaf Village. Brilliant! Oh, they would need headbands too! Dad wore his as a belt. How could he make a belt out of paper? Lee picked up the glue. Sakura cut an eye hole out of her bag and stuck it on her head, pink hair sticking out of the bottom. 

“Ta da!” She said, Lee giggled. She drew the leaf band sideways over the other eye, blue paper covered most of the face, and colored gray squiggles all over the top with marker.

Since he looked like Dad, he did not need a whole bag over his head, but at least the paper belt stayed. Cutting large pieces of lighter green paper, he taped them to his shirt. It almost looked like a vest. Close enough! Sakura picked up a little book, and they headed back outside. Time to play!

“This is no time for reading!” Lee signed, “We have to stop Ruffles before he drinks up all the water!” 

The oversized tabby cat had come to the Leaf Village to steal their river for the last time! Sakura had her book open in one hand and shrugged.

“Oh right!” She tied her green hair ribbon around the top of the bag to keep it from blowing away. “Rufffles noo! Wwait! I know what to do!” Sakura put her hands together, then touched the ground, “Doggies! Sstop the kitty!”

Right! Kakashi-sensei had dog summons! Ruffles was done for! Taking Sakura’s hand, they ran circles around the tree and chased the massive beast with the aid of the pack. It was fine, Dad and Kakashi-sensei held hands sometimes. Wait, oh no! He tapped Sakura’s arm and pointed at the field.

“But look over there!” Lee signed, “Giant spiders! Fuzzy Toe has come back for revenge, and he brought friends!” Their sign for spiders was creepy and he did not like it, using both hands to crawl with fingers.

“Oh noo! The doggies are still chassing after Ruffles!” Sakura pulled her book back out of her purse. “Mmaybe the answer is in here.”

“You have come here for the last time, Fuzzy Toe! You will never get the best of us!” Lee shouted, running in a larger circle. To lead them away! Sakura ran the other way, and smacked into him, falling flat on her back. “Careful! Are you okay?”

“Ssorry, onne eye is hard,” She said. Lee took her hands and pulled her up. “I mmean, I was pushed! Fuzzy Toe’s plann is working!”

“Oh no! Not this time!”

The sun got lower and lower, an orange glow fell over the yard. Where was Dad? Maybe he went out with Kakashi-sensei without him. Or he was home and didn’t come outside, which was the more likely. Lee jump-kicked the massive spider in front of him, knocking it onto his back. Yes! Take that, minion! Sakura swatted at them with her book. They were outnumbered! Soon they were back to back, and surrounded, breathing hard. The horse sized spider reared, legs twitching.

“Surrender!” Fuzzy Toe roared.

“Never!” Lee said.

Fireflies arrived, floating and flickering, reflecting in the eyes of the big, hairy, monstrous creatures under the twilight. Crickets chirped, oblivious to the looming danger. Lee and Sakura would not last much longer, the enemies kept coming in endless mobs. A loud cry pierced the skittering of legs, Ruffled tore around the corner, no! Where was the pack? Spider fangs bared, oozing venom, and they launched into the air as Ruffles leapt. They were done for! 

The porch light flashed on and off, Dad walked onto the patio, watching them with a huge grin. Backup has arrived! They were saved! Every enemy vanished. Amazing! Defeated in one fell swoop just at the sight of him! Dad was truly the best of the best! He and Sakura ran to him, tackling him in hugs.

“Well, Kakashi, how did you get out here?” Dad signed. “I could’ve sworn you were inside, and much taller!” Sakura giggled and took off her bag. “And who is this one? Is that me? Imposter!” Lee pulled off the bits of paper that had not fallen off. Dad was so silly!

“It is me!” Lee said, playing along.

“Lee! There you are! I heard from your teacher you want to work on your taijutsu while the other kids are learning ninjutsu or genjutsu.” He gave him a thumbs up, “Good thinking, but you don’t want to overwork yourself or you’ll end up going backwards.” Lee nodded, adding it to his small flipbook. Overworking is bad. “Now come on inside you two, dinner is ready.”

At the table, Kakashi-sensei sat with his back to the wall, looking bored. He was around a lot lately. Why is that? No matter! Of course he would come around more now as Dad’s eternal rival! There was something about him going on less missions while Dad tried to get him out of Anbu. It was bad for his dreps- dupre- drums- something like that. He forgot the name.

Whatever it was, if Dad said it was bad, then he was right. It seemed to be working, since Kakashi-sensei seemed a little happier? It was hard to tell, his expression did not change much. Maybe he was part time now? Huh? Dad signed something to Sakura about getting a thing, and she left, returning a few minutes later with a small plastic container. Was she okay? She was all slouched and shaky. Was she nervous about something?

Sticking the box on Kakashi-sensei’s lap, Sakura ran upstairs. To his room? Why? Was she afraid he would not like it? He opened it, inside was a pile of potato pancakes and a little note. Oh, she made him lunch. Did she write love on his note too? Was it why she ran away? Lee tiptoed around Dad towards the stairs. … Why was Kakashi-sensei staring at it like that? Did he not know it was lunch? It was not dangerous, Sakura’s lunches were tasty! She would not give him anything less than her best cooking!

Lee wanted to go check on her, but perhaps he should make sure Kakashi-sensei knew first. It would be no good if her gift went to waste. A second time... Kakashi-sensei sighed and leaned back in his chair. That was a strange reaction. Lee put one foot on the bottom stair, ready to head up. Dad would let him know, right?

“I don’t know …” Kakashi-sensei dropped his head onto his hand, and picked up the note.

“I know what you’re thinking, and it’s not true.” Dad said, placing an arm across Kakashi-sensei’s shoulders. Laughing, he held up the paper bag mask Sakura made earlier. When did he get that? How? “It seems Sakura appreciates your tutelage, Kakashi. What do you say to trying it on full time? Plenty of kids would love you as a teacher!”

“You’re relentless.” Kakashi-sensei said, but he was smiling. He was, right? “I know when I’m being manipulated, Guy.” He let out a deep, long-suffering sigh, “You win, I’ll talk to Lord Hokage tomorrow.”

“Lee!” Dad shouted. Ah! Busted! Oh, he got so caught up in listening, he forgot to check on Sakura! She was probably thinking the worst! “Bring Sakura down, it is time for dinner.”

“Yes Dad!” Lee ran up the stairs. In his room, on his bed, Sakura was tucked under his pillow, sniffling. Aw, he should have come sooner. He poked her, she peeked at him, “Dinner time!” He signed.

“Is Kakashi-sensei mad at me?” She asked, sitting up and wiping her face. Lee shook his head and smiled. He did not look mad.

Then again, would Lee be able to tell? Did he look mad ever? Was Kakashi-sensei even capable of being mad? Even when he lost the challenges, he did not get mad. Surely it was possible, but maybe he had to be extra mad to show it. How would Lee know? Testing this might be dangerous, but he wanted to know! Oh, they could ask him. Maybe they should ask him. He would ask him. It was a good idea. Better than trying to test it. Yes! If he could not ask-.

“Leee?” Sakura poked him. Right! Dinner! Taking her hand, he dragged her downstairs. He was pretty sure Dad made curry! Kakashi-sensei patted Sakura’s head as walked by, definitely not mad. Good, he did not want to lie to her.

“Kakashi-sensei?” Lee asked.

“Huh?” Kakashi-sensei said.

“I would like to ask you a question!” Lee announced. He would not ask unless it was okay.

“Sure, kid. Go for it.”

“Do you ever get mad about anything?” Lee asked, signing it for Sakura. He flushed, but his curiosity overcame it. He did not believe he should have been mad at Sakura, but he had to know! Dad laughed.

“Lee, that is Kakashi’s famous cool, hip, trendy attitude!” Dad signed, laughing. Makes sense! Oh, he should write that in his notes! Cool, hip, trendy attitude is Kakashi-sensei. Kakashi-sensei shrugged, sending everyone into another round of giggles.


	7. Sakura: Thorns of Yearning

Sprawled out, Sakura panted, blades of grass succumbing to her breath. Get up! Sweat dripped down her brow, arms and legs were heavy and sore, but she climbed to her feet. Kakashi-sensei peered over his book, not the least bit winded or phased. How long had they been sparring? Forever, it seemed. How pitifully untalented she was… he must be so disappointed.

He corrected her constantly, and compared to Lee, her taijutsu was just sad. Kakashi-sensei fought with an off-beat blend of offense and defense, like Guy-sensei’s rush the enemy head on, don’t give them a chance to breathe, and the opposite: observe and counter. A flicker, he twitched, Sakura threw up her block, but nothing happened. Wha - oh, he was reading again. Her legs gave out, she folded, a sigh of relief. Hopefully they were done for now.

‘You read those books?’ Kakashi-sensei asked.

‘Yes, sensei.’ She signed, ‘I have some questions...’ Dumping her bag into his, he tossed her a paper packet. Was she not getting those back? Her list of questions and notes were in there... 

‘Fill those out, I’m taking these so you can’t cheat.’ He signed. She nodded. He thought she might cheat? But... she wouldn’t... Kakashi-sensei stuffed in a new set of books. ‘As always, read these by next week.’

‘Yes, sensei.’ She signed, then he was gone, smoke dissipating where he once stood. ‘Wait, but - ‘ He was probably in a hurry to do more important things. ‘Thank you, sensei.’ 

Maybe next time she could ask him... whenever that was. She dragged herself and the books inside, up the stairs, to her room. A shower would be nice, but she was so exhausted… she forced herself to do it anyway, then sat at her desk.

‘Shadow clone jutsu!’

Belle bounced on her bed and poked through the new books. Was she keeping up with her peers? It seemed like a possibility, but she had no way of knowing. Kakashi-sensei taught her so many things, and knew right away where she was weak (everywhere). Where were other kids in their studies? Was she learning the same things? 

Probably not… they weren’t likely studying medicine, but she trusted her sensei. To show her appreciation, she wanted to make him lunch more, or maybe dessert once in a while. Did he like her cooking? Mom didn’t, so maybe he wouldn’t either, but he never said one way or the other. It was the least she could do, considering how valuable his time was.

As a skilled Jonin, he probably went on lots of important missions. She was lucky he bothered with her at all, though Guy-sensei likely had something to do with it. Did he even want to train her? 

Eventually he would get his own Genin team and he would be too busy for her. So far, he sent every potential graduate back to the Academy. His test must be difficult… would she pass if he let her try? Probably not... 

Pulling a thick, tired old notebook from her bag, Sakura flipped it open to a marked page near the back. Many were scratched out and altered, improved on over the years. Today’s were more phrases. How long did all this take him? To pick out her books, make tests, grade them, invent sign language... it was so much, and that’s aside from when he was with her, teaching jutsu, giving drills to practice alone... Kakashi-sensei was so amazing! It was the least she could do, to learn everything, studying all night if she had to! Sakura learned to take lots of naps. Naps were nice.

She stuck the notebook in her desk. Maybe she should do her chore list first, then the test tonight... Mom’s lists were getting longer and longer, like Sakura wasn’t allowed to do anything else. At least she packed Lee’s lunch last night. Kakashi-sensei only came once a week though, and he deserved to have the whole day, even after he left… Okay study first, chores later. She opened the test.

Agh! Sakura knew that last medical book was going to be difficult, and he didn’t let her ask any questions! After she filled in the blank chakra network diagram, she turned the page. 

Essay: In your own words, explain the core technique used in medical ninjutsu, and answer the following: How does it work, and why? What is it effective in treating? Who is best suited to use medical ninjutsu? Include examples for each. Must be at least four paragraphs. 

Okay... she could answer these, but ... there was a method to essay writing, right? Hmm... Kakashi-sensei gave her academy books, maybe it was in there. Sakura went to her closet and pulled out a few. They were worn and dated, but on the inside cover of each, in a neat, tight scrawl: Kakashi Hatake. They were his old books from school! He trusted her to take care of them!

She tried to picture a little Kakashi-sensei, arms full of books, excited to learn, probably adorable... Did he always have gray hair? Or was that from old age? Maybe his hair was pink once, like hers. Then again, Guy-sensei’s hair was still black, so maybe it was being grumpy that made it change. Maybe hers would turn gray too if she got grumpy enough… Test! Where was the grammar book? Belle had it! Trade? Trade.

She was about halfway through when her clock flashed a bright green light.Today Lee took the Academy’s Genin exam to be placed on a team with a Jonin sensei and everything! Maybe he would be on Kakashi-sensei’s team, and get to be the first to pass his test. He would come home a Genin, go on missions and climb the Shinobi ranks! 

Which meant he’d be gone a lot... She’d miss him, but he was making his dreams come true! Today would be their last night before he entered the unknown. How far would he go? All the way, taking on the world if he had to.

A cool breeze invaded her room and rustled the long bangs resting on her cheek, carrying the sweet scent of fresh musty earth. Rain. They might need to stay indoors. Closing the papers, she hid all her materials and changed into a sundress covered in white carnations. Did he like carnations? Hopefully he did, she wanted to look nice for him. At least, as nice as she could... Taking her brush, she went to the hall bathroom and sighed at her reflection, trying to hide her forehead. It was no use, all her hair was the same length. Maybe she’d cut bangs... no, Mom would kill her. It didn’t matter anyway...

Returning her brush, she went outside and sat on the porch. Thick gray clouds hung low overhead, and tingles ran up her arms. A lot of rain. Waving, Lee ran up the street as a streak of light bisected the dark clouds behind him. Her heart leapt when she did, running to meet him and tackling him in a hug. Strong arms enveloped her and he vibrated, following a broken rumble, she enjoyed the feeling. Lee gave the best hugs, always the right amount of firm, but never long enough... He stepped back to sign.

“Wait, you do not know if I passed yet,” He signed, touching his forehead.

“Yes I do.” She said. “There was never any doubt.”

“Okay, mind reader, then who is my Jonin teacher?” Lee asked. Ooh, mind reader? Okay, better not say Kakashi-sensei.

“Your Dad?” She said.

“Right again! Wow Sakura! Who is on my team?” Woah really? Guy-sensei? Wait, she didn’t know anyone from his class.

“Ummm…” She brought her hand to her chin, pretending to ponder, then smiled, “Is it me?”

“No, but I wish it was.” Lee shook his head. Guy-sensei dropped on the street behind him and tiptoed, giving her the shh signal. Sakura stepped back and suppressed a giggle, focusing on Lee, “- that is, you know... Sakura, I -”

“Lee!” Guy-sensei pounced. Lee jumped, spun around, and before she knew it, they were wrestling in the street.

They were probably yelling; they were always yelling, but all she made out was unintelligible noises. Lee asked what things sounded like, and she tried to explain. It was like trying to hear underwater with stuffed up ears. One ear was slightly better at picking up sounds than the other, and she heard lower tones better than higher ones, though she couldn’t tell them apart. It was easier to pick up sounds coming from Guy-sensei than Lee, but she didn’t understand any actual words. Lip reading let her fill in the gaps, but signs were easier. Thank you Kakashi-sensei! In a headlock, Lee signaled from under Guy-sensei’s arm.

‘Help, help!’ He bumped his fist on his palm.

Sakura laughed, crawled onto Guy-sensei and stuck her fingers under his armpit, poking his side. He loosened his grip, muted rumbles of vibrating laughter rolled from his belly. Yes! Taking Lee’s hand, she ran.

“Not so fast!” Guy-sensei scooped them both, pinning them side by side on the ground.

Oh no! Guy-sensei’s eyes glinted with mischief as he unleashed nimble hands onto their tummies. Sakura couldn’t help it, she shrieked and laughed, kicking out uselessly against the onslaught, tears streaming. No! Escape! At least pretend escape, she tried to roll over, but sides were attacked next. At her side, Lee wriggled and twisted. Sakura tried to retaliate, but she couldn’t raise her arms! Noo! Guy-sensei was winning! Lee was as helpless as she was! Guy-sensei sat up, grinning.

“Well I think that means I win!” Guy-sensei signed, and flopped onto the road.

They laid sprawled out, Lee in the middle, panting, tears rolling down their cheeks, ridding themselves of leftover giggles between gasps of air. Sakura couldn’t stop smiling. Okay, she caught her breath, counterattack? 

She tapped Lee’s wrist. He tapped back. She tapped again- one… two… three! Together they piled onto Guy-sensei, attacking his sides with a vengeance. He could toss them off, but waved his arms around instead in mock surrender. No surrender! Wait, no! He changed tactics, tickling them back and she lost her grip. They were a pile of tears, laughter, and limbs.

“Noooo!” Guy-sensei yelled, “Kakashi! Hahahaha, Send backup!Hahahahaha!”

Something lifted her and Lee off Guy-sensei, who sprang to his feet and fixed his hair. No fair! Then again, it was two against one... She looked up, feet dangling, to find Kakashi-sensei’s masked face. When did he get there? Lee stuck his tongue out at him, under his other arm.

His eye crinkled into a smile and a rumble resounded in his chest. The vibrations against her head made her giggle again, which set off Lee, then Guy-sensei. He faced them, hair perfectly back in place, grinning in his favorite pose.

“Time to celebrate!” Guy said, cheeks splotchy and wet, she was probably the same. More muffled words were exchanged, Sakura smiled. When in doubt, smile. It was her new motto.

Kakashi-sensei let go, dropping them to their feet (she did not squeak… probably). He plopped his arm across her shoulders, hand on her head. She drooped. Heavy! Movement caught her eye from the porch, Mom ran over with a camera in her hands. How long had she been there? Was she angry? Foggy, muted noises bounced around, Sakura shrugged out from under Kakashi-sense and stepped back, hands folded. Was she in trouble? Was she supposed to be in her room? Should she go inside? Mom didn’t spare her a glance, rushing to hug Lee, smiling, then hugging Guy-sensei, kissing cheeks.

A tap on her shoulder: Lee motioned for her to follow. They stole into his house, through to the back yard and sat on the patio. The sky was dark. Not much longer. Lee’s cheeks had a rosy glow, the kind you only got from a good, hearty amount of laughter. He fiddled with his bandages, then wiped his palms on his pants.

“Sakura, I... I wanted to... Dad wanted to cook outside today,” He signed, shrugging his hands out, glancing at the clouds. “Seems unlikely now.” He may be right. Oh, she didn’t get to tell him yet!

“Congratulations on your graduation, Lee.” Sakura said, reaching out to touch his hand, “Can we -”

A drip of cold water hit her head, and the little hairs on her arms stood up. The storm! Drip drip dripdripdrip. Fat gobs of torrential rain poured like a newly opened tap, drenching their clothes before they got to their feet. She laughed, a thrill chased shivers up her spine, lightning flashed across the rapidly darkening sky. Wow! The ground shook after each flash, pulsing and throbbing, their tree whipped around as the wind picked up. Everything was electrified! Before she knew what she was doing, Sakura grabbed Lee’s hands, fingers tingling at the contact, and dragged him into the yard, sandals sloshing in great muddy puddles filling the grass.

‘Do you feel it?’ Sakura signed. Was he as charged as she was? Did the ground shake for him?

She tried to speak, but if the vibrating world was anything to go by, he wouldn’t hear a word. Lee grinned, black hair plastered to his head, dripping water onto his shoulders. She laughed, and twirled him around. Who knew rain would be so much fun? Their village never got storms! Usually they stayed East, near the misty shores, leaving them with boring mild showers. Everything felt like a sound now, from every direction, running through her body, like she was in sync with the sky.

Yes, yes! The earth had a heartbeat! Sakura found the rhythm and moved, taking Lee with her. She spun, wiggled and twirled, clutching Lee’s sodden, slippery hands. He danced with her like nothing else existed. Cold water soaked her to the bone, goosebumps coated her arms, and her hair would probably frizz for weeks, but Sakura didn’t care, flinging droplets from her head as she and Lee spun, shimmied, and twisted like fools in the rain. She wanted to dance forever! Lee lifted her, spun them around and around until they were dizzy. She hugged his shoulders, clinging to him like he was the only stable thing in the universe.

As soon as it had come, the rain fled with dingy gray clouds, leaving Sakura breathless and shivering. Lee put her down, she leaned onto him, not caring how cold or soggy he was. The onslaught was over, a light, leftover drizzle a reminder of the torrential downpour. She stared at his smile, hands on his arms, and into his big, soft eyes. Despite the chill, Sakura felt warmth spread across her face and down her neck. Wow...

She brushed his smooth cheek with her fingertips, wiping away a few clinging droplets, a rosy tint bloomed under her touch. Oh... even his nose was cute, his long eyelashes, dark eyes, the little turn of his lip... right in the middle, more obvious when he smiled... Her heart fluttered. When did Lee get to be so gorgeous? It was like she was seeing him for the first time...

He took her hand in both of his, pulling it from his face, and kneaded her fingers. How were his hands so warm with the wet bandages? He tugged her towards his house, feet sinking into puddles, and they stepped into the kitchen. Rubbing her arms, Sakura waited as he went upstairs. Lee returned with towels and draped a fluffy white one on her head. She dried off. Where did everyone go? Maybe at her house? Or still out front? There was nothing out of place here, no glasses or anything by the sink. He took her towel and disappeared to the basement. She shivered again, but not from the cold. The basement … He came back up, arms empty.

“That was fun.” He signed. Sakura smiled.

“You should probably change so you do not get a cold,” She said, shivering in her sopping wet dress. This was so not made for this. Why did she wear a sundress when it was clearly going to storm? Stupid. Lee nodded and left, returning in a soft looking forest fleece and black pants. He pulled a blue one over her head, trapping her arms, and grinned.

“You cannot catch a cold either.” Lee signed.

“But my room is-” Sakura was getting his sweater all wet!

“Too far.”

“...Thank you.” She stuck her arms in.

Sakura’s face burned as they snuck in the front, through the livingroom to the upstairs. Everyone was in her kitchen! They had a clear view of the back yard. It couldn’t be helped now... So what if they saw them dancing? It’s not like there was anything wrong with that, right? Hopefully Mom would see it that way. Lee sat on her bed while she changed in her closet, settling for a blue denim dress with peonies on the pockets. Much better! She picked up her brush, ran it through her wet locks, then sat next to Lee, offering it to him. He turned it over in his hands a few times, then set it aside.

“Sakura, I think I need to tell you something.” Lee said, signing. 

His face was serious. Was everything okay? Was something wrong? Maybe he’s worried about leaving her behind. Was that it? He knew she wouldn’t want him to hold back, even if it meant spending less time together. Right? His eyes widened.

“Everything is okay! Nothing bad, I swear!” He said, signing. Gosh he knew her way too well. “It is just... well...” 

Placing his hand on top of hers, he scooted closer and smiled - a shy tug at the corners of his mouth. Her stomach did a flip, a warm fuzzy feeling crept up to her face. Almost in slow motion, he leaned forward. Was he going to - ? Suddenly her room was too hot, Sakura drifted toward him. She couldn’t think, her heart pounded, thump thumping in her chest. His warm breath ghosted her lips, he was so close. Was she falling? She was light headed, her breath hitched, the ground went missing.

Lee jerked back, head spun to her door. Someone must have knocked. Aww, figures, right as he was about to do… something. It opened, a bored looking Kakashi-sensei set his glass bottle on her dresser.

‘You kids are missing all the fun,’ He managed to make sign language look sarcastic. ‘Come on, Guy wants help with dinner.’ She nodded and stood, though she dreaded joining them. Why did Kakashi-sensei have to knock right then? Could they go back in time?

Guy-sensei got the grill lit after they were sure the rain wasn’t coming back, but the atmosphere stayed thick and humid. Sakura and Lee unstacked plastic chairs and set up a folding table on the patio. Soon they were seated, Kakashi-sensei, Guy-sensei, Lee, and Mom. Sakura went to sit beside Kakashi-sensei, but Mom grabbed her arm and put her in a chair a few feet from the group. She folded her hands and watched Lee open his gifts, a heavy weight on her chest. It wasn’t a large table; she should’ve realized she was supposed to sit away from everyone, since she couldn’t hear anything. She was so stupid.

“My own jumpsuit!” Lee said, jumping up and down, clutching green cloth.

Sakura tried to watch his face, but it was moving too much and gave up. Lee was happy crying, Guy-sensei held him, crying along with him, kissing his head. The outfit, colors and all, was like a family crest. There were photos of his grandfather in the same outfit in their living room. Lee must feel so touched to carry on the tradition. He confided in her once about it, sitting on the roof outside her bedroom window late one night...

“I… do not know if Dad would want me to wear it. It is a family tradition, but I am... not his blood.” Lee signed. “I really want to, it would be a great honor, but…”

“Lee… of course he will.” Sakura said.

“What makes you so sure? Dad has never said anything about it.”

“Because he picked you.” Sakura remembered thinking about this before, “He went to the orphanage and met a whole bunch of kids, but he took you home with him to stay forever. I think… if Mommy went, she would not pick me, so... Guy-sensei loves you a whole lot. It is special.”

“Sakura…”

“Plus, you carry your family legacy.”

“What legacy?” Lee signed. Huh? What did he mean?

“But, wasn’t… the Self Rule something your grandfather taught Guy-sensei? I think that makes it a legacy.” Maybe?

“... Thank you Sakura.”

She shook away the image and watched Lee put on his official Leaf Village headband. He was so happy!

“Pictures!” Mom said something. Oh no, what was it? Everyone was moving. Was she supposed to move too? What should she do? Should she get up? Or wait? Guy-sensei and Lee walked to the tree and Mom held up her camera, snapping photos. Oh, pictures!

“Getover there.” Huh? Mom shoved her towards them. “Go! Stopembarrassing me!”

“Sorry.” She said, standing next to Lee. Her face was on fire. At this rate she was going to ruin all the photos.

Kakashi-sensei sauntered over, hands in his pockets. They shuffled, then took more shots. Sakura tried to follow instructions, she really really did! Mom marched over, glowering. Stepping back, Sakura shrank, but she dragged her away, vice grip on her arm, pinching pain... Sakura stumbled, struggling to keep up with the long strides. Mom pointed at the ground beside her.

“Sit. Now.”

What was she supposed to do? What did she say? Sakura folded her hands, Mom pushed her shoulders down and kicked the back of her knees, she dropped. Oh… sit, she was supposed to sit. The grass was still drenched, cold and muddy, she may as well kneel in a puddle. Do not cry, don’t... so stupid, couldn’t even stand for pictures. Hopefully Lee wouldn’t be upset about her ruining his day. He frowned in her direction, but she couldn’t meet his eyes, she didn’t blame him for being angry. After a while, he smiled again. Sakura swallowed her guilt and smiled with him, containing her tears. She was happy with anything, if it meant Lee would keep smiling.

After everyone left, Sakura washed dishes while Mom got ready for work, sobbing over the sink, trying to focus on scrubbing. Stupid idiot! Ruining so many things, Mom was angry and embarrassed… Hands spun her around, oh no, she got caught crying! Eyes blazing, Mom shook her, mouth moving, a deep frown, then let go. Taking an object from the cabinet, Mom dragged her up to her room, then shoved her to the floor. This was her own fault, if she wasn’t so stupid... After fiddling with her window lock, Mom threw the object, hard plastic bounced off Sakura’s head, then slapped her hard across her face. The tears wouldn’t stop, please stop, stop! Grabbing a fistful of her hair, Mom leaned down and spoke. Vision blurry and wet, Sakura couldn’t hope to understand a single word. The fist tightened, then let go, and she slapped her again. Pain bloomed down her jaw, throbbing as she hit the carpet and watched Mom’s feet stomp into the hall, and her door close.

Crawling, Sakura reached to pick up the object with shaky hands. A baby bottle. Mom threw a baby bottle at her. Crybaby.She wiped her face, set it aside, then laid on the floor, and stared at the ceiling fan, trying not to feel anything. If she could do that, she wouldn’t cry anymore. She let go of all of it: fear, sorrow, guilt, joy, excitement, cheer, frustration, pain... and faded, numbness set her limbs. Her energy leached into the floor. Lee wouldn’t have to be angry, and Mom wouldn’t have to deal with having a useless, embarrassing daughter. Sakura should just disappear, then everyone would be happier.


	8. Lee: Courage in Starlight

Thwack, thwack, thwack, Lee struck the stump over and over again with his nunchucks at the training grounds. Behind him, his teammates Tenten and Neji practiced honing their individual skills under the guidance of their very own Guy-sensei. It was weird calling him that, but it made sense to. They were a squad now, and Dad was not only his dutiful sensei, but his team leader. Though he still called him Dad when they were off duty. 

Switching hands, Lee moved around the log. Faster! Harder! Thwackthwackthwackthwack! He closed his eyes and listened to Tenten’s kunai bounce off Neji’s Eight Trigrams shield technique. Ting ting ting ting… He learned to really appreciate hearing. Sakura’s smiling face came to mind, and his nunchuck slipped, hitting his leg. Ouch! Hopping up and down, a light knock to the head threw his balance, falling flat on his back. Double ouch!

“Pay attention, Lee!” Guy-sensei said, looming over him, “One little distraction could get you killed.”

“Yes, Guy-sensei! I will focus much harder!” Lee shouted. His teammates groaned, but he ignored them and went back to abusing the stump with more gusto.

One little distraction. Was that all she was? The thought made him sick. It was not true! He trained every day, all day, from dawn till dusk and beyond, leaving little time for anything... or anyone. It had been some time since he spent time with his friend. Well… Lee’s cheeks warmed and his chest fluttered. Friend... Sakura was much more than a friend, though he had yet to tell her. He tried, but for some reason, something always came up. Was he more nervous than he thought? ... 

Nevermind, put it away for now. After all, he promised he would focus! Counting aloud kept him grounded, the best way to help him pay attention. The post glared at him, as if daring him to keep going. That was it! Lee would do one-thousand strikes with each hand! One! Two! Thr-.

“Alright! Take a break for lunch, then continue practice for the remainder of the day!” Guy-sensei said. Lee would do one thousand strikes with each hand after lunch!

“Yes Guy-sensei!” Lee said.

“What about you, Sensei?” Tenten asked, folding her legs to sit in the grass. Her hair looked like bread buns over her ears. It made him want to stop at the bakery.

“I have a few errands to run today. I trust you don’t need me here to make sure you keep working.” Dad folded his arms, and gave each of them a warning look. While he failed to look serious, Lee was certain it was on purpose. There was no hiding from him.

“You mean it’s challenge time with Kakashi-sensei.” Neji said. “Of course we’ll keep working.”

“Good. I knew I could count on you!” He winked, then flickered away.

Removing his sparkly lunchbox from the pile under the tree, Lee sat down and clicked it open. Though they were no longer little kids, Sakura still made him lunch every day. When he asked why, she just shrugged and continued doing it. He chose not to question it again, she was quite good at it and he would not stop her from feeding him. Once in a while, she treated him to nice cookies, breads, and cakes. Not great for his training regime, but she knew not to overdo it.

Neji and Tenten plopped nearby, but far enough for Lee to feel excluded. It did not bother him, but... he hoped being on a team would be different. So far, not really. Oh well, it would not change his goals. He bit into a strawberry and surveyed the training grounds. It was the same one Dad brought them to after Sakura met Kakashi-sensei, closest to their house. Apparently it was their spot now. 

Huh? He squinted towards town. Was there a bright pink blob walking towards them? Yes there was! Sakura! She left her house to come see him! How did she know he was there? Did Dad tell her? Or maybe she guessed? Either way! He would get to see Sakura! He missed her so much! 

Wait, Neji and Tenten... Well, they were probably going to meet eventually. Something round and shiny glinted in her hands. A... canister? Oh, she stopped and turned around, walked a few feet back, then stopped again. What was she doing? Was she nervous? Why? Turning around again, she seemed to make up her mind.

“Lee, why do you really bother with all this stuff?” Tenten asked around a bite. Ugh, Lee resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He really did not want to get into this again, not with Sakura around. “It’s pointless, you know. You’ll never beat Neji, he’s a genius.”

“It is not pointless, Tenten. I will become a great ninja with taijutsu alone.” Lee said, ignoring his sweaty palms. This conversation was old and tired, but he was certain Sakura would disagree. A lifetime of defending his choices left him nearly immune to these questions.

“You have no ninjutsu or genjutsu, and your taijutsu is still lacking.” Neji said, standing up, “How about this? If I win our next fight, you leave the team, and we can find someone with actual talent.”

“I refuse to give up, even if you do beat me! I will prove once and for all hard work beats natural talent!” Lee said, standing up and getting into battle position. If it was a fight he wanted he would gladly accept! Sakura’s presence stopped behind him. Well, it would be the first time she watched him battle against a real opponent. He would be sure to do his best!

“Who’re you?” Tenten asked, pointing at her. Ducking behind him, Sakura touched his arm. Well… okay. “Do you know Lee?” 

Turning around, Neji would have to wait. She wore a soft raspberry turtleneck sweater dress and black leggings. In this weather? It was way too hot. She held out the canister.

“Yyou should hhave a drink with you in this hheat.” She whispered, shrinking. Awww, so thoughtful! “I’mm ssorry if I caussed problems, aand interrupting.”

What was she -? Oh! To her, it must have looked that way. Them sitting around having lunch, fine until she got there, Tenten pointing... She placed the can on the ground and turned to run, but he caught her hand. No wait! Please do not leave! Perhaps she would stay and they could train together.

‘Not to worry, Sakura, this was not your fault.’ He signed, crossing his fists, ‘You can stay to watch, if you wish.’

“fIf it is okayy…” She whispered. One day she would be confident enough to let others hear her.

“Hello? Tenten to Lee!” Tenten called. “I think he’s gone, folks.” Oh right, he should introduce them.

“Uh, sorry! Tenten, Neji, this is Sakura.” Lee said, stepping aside. ‘Sakura, this is N-E-J-I and T-E-N-T-E-N.’

Tenten waved and Sakura gave a shy wave back. Yes! Perhaps they would be friends. That would be a good thing, right? Tenten was nice for the most part, and Sakura did not have many friends. Or… any besides him? Did Dad and Kakashi-sensei count?

A rustling of brush and clamoring of footsteps… Ugh. He knew he should not have cursed today when he got up this morning, declaring it a perfect day for training. Rotten, reverse luck brought three of his former classmates stomping and bumbling into the grounds, approaching huddled together. 

For weeks their team’s training space went uncontested, why did that have to change today? At least two of them failed to graduate, and were particularly insulted he passed. Great. It was unlikely they would leave peacefully. Perhaps he should tell Sakura to go and they could meet later, but she settled on the grass beside their lunchbox, tucking her skirt under her legs, waiting for him...

Well, that was not going to work. Lee took a deep breath and sat next to her. Ignore them and share his lunch with Sakura! Tenten and Neji could sort out who got to use the grounds and he would spar with Neji after. Perfect! 

He sipped from the canister, the heck? A light, fruity drink, but cold? Was it tea? Either way, it was odd, but refreshing. It must have been a recipe from one of her old books. Watching him, she bit her lip, waiting to see if he liked it. Right! He gave her a thumbs up. She smiled and Lee melted, aww she smiled! All because he liked her drink! If it got that reaction, he would have to tell her more often how much he enjoyed her lunches. Everything she made was delicious, so it would be easy! Right, a challenge! He would compliment her cooking every day or he would have to climb every tree in the village!

‘Thank you, Sakura.’ He signed, pulling his fingers from his chin. She looked so happy! Was it hard to make?

“Hey it’s Dork Lee,” One boy, Dacy, said. Oh, right, he almost forgot about them. Lee sipped his drink. Same old insults, same old nickname. “Who’s that chick next to him?” Hold on...

“I donno ‘er name, but she’s as dumb as a box o’ shurikin. She can’t even talk. Somethin’s wrong with ‘er.”

A hot spike of rage flooded his veins. They could say what they wanted about him, but how dare they talk about Sakura! Lee grit his teeth, but she was still smiling. If he reacted, she would too, and her smile would be gone. He bit his tongue and forced himself to relax. Perhaps Sakura would like a strawberry.

“How do you know?” Dacey asked.

“I seen ‘er at the market.” Reo, his mind supplied. He was in Neji’s class. “Tried talkin’ to her once. Not a word, ran off like a scared lit’le rabbit. So’s I asked ‘round. See, she’s had some kinda injury made her dumb, she’s jus’ a pretty lit’le idiot.”

“Well, that explains why she’s hanging with Dork Lee.” The last one jumped in. Touma? He carried more girth than the others, and had big red freckles. “She’d have to be stupid to-.” That was it! He would not hear another word!

“Sakura is one of the smartest people I know!” Lee said, standing up. He shifted his weight, but kept his hands at his sides. 

Sakura stood, Lee felt her stare: examining his expression, stance, tension... But he gave her no explanation. It felt awful to say nothing, but she already lacked confidence trying to communicate with strangers and these comments would not help. It was enough he defended her, fighting them if necessary, but if they apologized and left her alone, all the better. Tenten and Neji stayed off to the side. Would they step in? No matter, he would fight them alone.

“I will not tolerate anyone who says otherwise. Apologize!” Lee added.

“Is tha’ so?” Reo said, “Well, I ain’t ‘fraid of you. ’t was a fluke you even graduated.” Of course he would say something like that.

“I bet he cheated on his test somehow.”

“He probably got someone to transform an’ take it for ‘im.”

“Sucks for you guys, havin’ such a lousy ninja on your team.”

“Tell me about it.” Neji! Do not encourage them!

“I did no such thing! I passed the exam fair and square like everyone else!” Lee said. Sakura straightened, tensing... Oh, he knew that look.

‘Are they making fun of you?’ She signed.

What should he say? He could not lie, but ignoring her was no good either! At least they switched to him. Sighing, Lee tipped his head in reluctant confirmation. Glancing through each person, Sakura stopped on Neji, who had a slight smirk. It was unlikely she could read any of them yet, but Neji was the most articulate with a lower tone of voice. It was possible she could understand him well enough if she focused. This… may not be good.

“Why don’ ‘e quit?”

“Lee’s wasting all of our time trying to play at being a ninja. Everyone has set limitations, and he hasn’t accepted his.” Neji said.

“That is not true, you-.” Lee started.

“Stop it! Do nnot talk baadly about Leee!” Sakura said, her hands fluttered, “A-anyy of yyou!” 

Sakura! Wha-? She just -! His mouth dropped open. She spoke up in his defense! And she was loud! Maybe the loudest yet! Lee wanted to kiss her, sweep her into his arms and cry, and tell her how happy he was! No, do not do that, she might not be okay with it and he could not drop his guard, any minute, one of them could make a move. He had to be ready. Perhaps he could… ask her later.

“Woah, she talked.” Reo said, pointing at Sakura. She stuck her tongue out at him.

“Why does she talk like that?” Dacey asked. “She sounds stupid.”

Sakura mouthed the word, ‘stupid.’ Did she know they meant her? Maybe she would think they were talking about him, which… was not better.

“I tol’ you already! She-.”

“And what are you going to do about it?” Neji asked, ignore the others. “What makes you think you can touch me? Not once has Lee beaten me in a fight. You’re not any different.”

A fight between Neji and Sakura? No way was Lee okay with that! Sakura watched him, then huffed and pouted. So cute! Not the time!

‘Can you please tell me what he said, Lee?’ She signed, palm against her chest. ‘Please? I’m sorry.’

Trembling, her hands stuttered over simple motions. Aww, tears welled up in Lee’s eyes with a surge of affection. Still so afraid of talking around people! If only he could take away her anxiety, he would! She spoke so well, he never had trouble with her words! Now she trusted him to help her. Tears rolled freely down his cheeks.

Right, he would not let her down! To the best of his memory, he translated Neji. Okay! What had he said? Starting his signs, he pointed at Neji and moved both hands forward, finger spelling some.

“What are those two weirdos doing?” Touma asked.

“Some kind of language, it looks like.” Tenten asked. Way to go Tenten! She figured it out!

“I doubt it. That girl is a complete airhead.”

“Sakura is not stupid!” Lee whirled around. Oh wait, whoops “Sorry Sakura, one moment. I need to teach these guys a lesson in manners.”

“Try it!” Dacey and Reo echoed, taking fighting poses, hands near their weapon pouches.

“You gonna fight all of us?” Touma said, face red, making some of his freckles disappear.

“I will if I must.” Lee said. Here we go! His knuckles were still sore from training earlier, but he would ignore it. No one insulted Sakura in front of him and got away with it!

“You’re seriously outnumbered,” Tenten stepped up with a dangerous smile, unclipping a scroll from her belt, “Unless Pinky over there doesn’t wanna play. In which case, it’s even.” Huh? Outnumbered?

“Tenten?” Lee asked, “You too Neji?”

“Of course. You didn’t think we were just going to watch, did you?” Lee definitely thought that, but he would not say so.

“Well, well, well, I see my hard working pupils have found more hard working pupils!” Guy-sensei walked over, hands on his hips. “Excellent! I have just the drill for us to run!”

“Wait no-” Reo started.

“Alright! Everyone line up! Front and center! Double time!” Dad said with a toothy grin. 

Perhaps he knew more than he let on. Of course he did! He would have picked up on it immediately! Brilliant! Lee stood beside Neji in line. Where was Sakura? Oh, she stayed behind... Before he could go, Dad approached her, and signed his instructions, pointing at the line of reluctant, moaning students. Everyone stared, whispering about the hand signs.

“Guy-sensei is doin’ it too.”

“‘Tha’ don’ mean nothin’.”

“Sure it do, he’s a Jonin, ain’t he?” Seeing a teacher do them seemed to validate their use. Interesting.

‘Do I have to?’ Sakura signed, biting her lip. Lee’s chest tightened. He wanted her to stay, but not if she wanted to leave. 

‘No, but a true ninja has the will to ignore the judgment of others.’ Dad signed, ‘As long as they have faith in themselves.’ Yes, those words kept him going as well! Surely Sakura would agree.

‘Yes, Sensei.’ Sakura signed. Dad nudged her towards the group, and she got in line beside Lee, standing close, as if he would shield her from the eyes of his peers. He squeezed her hand. He would certainly try.

“Alright my dutiful students! Five hundred laps around these grounds! There are no shortcuts to being a Shinobi, as there are no shortcuts in life. Pace yourselves, then meet back here for strength training.”

“Yes, Sensei!” They chorused.

One by one, each kid made an excuse to leave, dipping before the final lap. As if anyone could hear their parents calling from way out here! Only his team and Sakura remained, meeting back under the tree. Lee dropped and started his push-ups while Sakura stretched beside him. Dad always knew exactly what to do! She was still here! Thump, thump, footsteps walked over.

“She can’t hear a thing, can she?” Neji said, Sakura stepped back as Lee leapt to his feet. “But she understands you.”

“More or less.” Lee said. “What do you want?” If he wanted a fight... 

“Confirmation.” Neji said, then turned to Sakura, who watched him like a mouse watches a cat, “Tell her what I say: What are you going to do about it?” 

Lee glowered, then translated. What did he want to confirm? Was he trying to pick a fight? Sakura watched him, then Neji… then around to Tenten and Dad. They were watching too. She dwindled, holding her hands to her chest.

‘I am sorry Lee.’

‘What for?’ Lee signed. For standing up for him? He hoped not.

‘Causing trouble.’ She answered. ‘I didn't mean to bother anyone. You do not need me.’ What? Of course he did!

‘You did nothing wrong.’ He signed.

“Well? What did she say?” Neji asked. Uh... She ignored his question.

A figure swung down from the tree branch overhead, Kakashi-sensei! When did he get there? How long was he up there? He tucked his book into his jacket. Was he reading? He poked Sakura.

‘Time to go.’ Kakashi-sensei signed, ‘Say goodbye. We’re going to the hospital.’

Way to go Sakura! Learning medicine! She would make an excellent medical nin one day if she wanted to.

‘Yes, Sensei.’ Sakura signed, ‘Bye, Lee. I am sorry.’ then followed Kakashi-sensei. 

No wait! He could not let her leave yet! Lee sprinted over and pulled her into a tight hug. He was not upset, no need to apologize. She hugged him back, a limp grasp, and avoided eye contact, she did not believe him. Why not? But she shook her head, he let her go, and waved as they left.

“Just as I thought.” Neji said, stalked off. What? Lee shook his head. 

Time to get to work! What was he doing? Push ups! Sakura would find her calling one day, regardless of what others expected. She was smart, hard working, funny, silly, caring, not to mention stunning and beauti-

Focus! This is exactly what distracted him last time! Sweat dripped down his back as he continued. Focus, focus! Count out loud! If he could not concentrate on all one-thousand pushups, he would do one-thousand - no, two-thousand sit ups!

After training well passed sundown, Lee collapsed onto his bed after tossing on a pair of green plaid pajamas. Ahh, what a day! Dad’s training regime never ceased to push him harder and harder, but this was especially grueling! His muscles ached all over, he would be sore tomorrow. Grinning, he almost looked forward to it. Each day he drew closer and closer to being a splendid shinobi just like Dad! Better than yesterday! Push to tomorrow!

Curling up under his blankets, Lee turned off the light and sank into his mattress. Then rolled over and untucked the blankets. No... yanking them up, he uncovered his feet... he rolled onto his other side… Not right either. Ugh, he should be exhausted… he was exhausted. Why was he so restless? Flopping onto his stomach, he burrowed under the pillow. Nope. AGH! Nothing was comfortable! He sat up, the clock on his nightstand flipped: 11:12pm. Despite the hour, the heat of the day lingered. Was he too hot? Throwing off his covers, Lee laid back and stared at the ceiling. Hmm....

Did he always have those bright orange curtains? What a strange color for curtains, they clashed with the light brown of his wooden dresser. Perhaps he should find green ones, he liked green. It would certainly make his room less bright in the mornings.

In the diagonal corner, opposite of his bed, his closet door was missing. What happened to that? He could not recall, but one day Sakura surprised him by hanging long rows of sparkly beads on string across the top, which shimmered bright and colorful in the sunlight. Perhaps that was why he left the curtains. It stood out as the most colorful thing he owned, but he never had the desire to take it down. She spent days making it for him, tying lots of little knots... Perhaps she was awake too.

Before he could second guess himself, Lee grabbed his flashlight from his nightstand, opened his window, and stepped outside, roof cold and rough under his bare feet. Sakura’s room mirrored his own, only a few feet of tile away, which changed from black to gray between the houses. Her window and blinds were closed, but the faint glow of a warm light displayed her outline hunched over her desk. Crouching beside the glass, Lee pressed his flashlight against it, flicking the switch on and off, then stuck it into his pocket.

They used to do this all the time. Back then, it seemed rebellious, sneaking out at night to stay up too late, eat candy, hanging out without their parents knowing. Of course, Dad was well aware of his nightly escapades. Somehow it felt less daring after that. A moment later her blinds retreated and Sakura appeared, dressed in a soft, faded taffy cotton nightgown. She pointed at the window lock, forlorn. Could she not unlock it? Oh, it required a key. That was new. Why was that there? Okay! A challenge!

‘If I cannot not get the window open, then I will come through the house!’ He signed. Sakura shook her head. ‘Why not?’ 

She went to her door, making a show of turning the handle and pulling, nothing happened. That was locked to? Why? Did she get into trouble? Dad never locked him up. What could she have done to earn such a thing?

Alright! Standing, Lee inspected the whole frame, tracing his finger around it. There had to be some way… Ah ha! A weakness! He grinned, Sakura tilted her head, he held up a finger, then went back into his nightstand for his camping knife. Hopefully this worked. Returning, he slid the blade under a strip of wood across the top, looking for... Careful, careful… yes! The blade caught, Lee smacked it and the top window dropped. He caught it before it slammed and lowered it, then folded his knife, sticking into his pocket. Why would Ms. Haruno add a key lock to her window in the first place?

“How long has that been there?” Lee signed. Sakura stood on her bed and climbed over, onto the rooftop. He steadied her and she winced. Huh? Was she hurt? Perhaps sore from training?

“A while.” Sakura shrugged. “Ohh, one ssecond.” She held up her finger.

She went back inside and after a bit of shuffling, popped back out with a bag of gummy kunai. Lee covered his laugh. Of course she had candy! Sitting beside him, she opened the bag to share. They tasted a bit too sweet now, but he ate them anyway, watching the half moon overhead. Thin clouds floated across the stars in thin, sparse groups, coating the world a surreal, pale light. 

Sakura leaned against his shoulder, and he was suddenly glad her eyes were not on his face. Could she feel his heart racing? A stubborn cloud dimmed the moonlight, casting a shadow on their little spot.

Feeling brave under the cover of night, he swallowed a candy, curled his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. She sighed, laying her head against his chest. She wrapped her arms around him, fitting against him so perfectly, warm and soft. Was he asleep already? It was a dream to hold her... Hopefully not, and rested his head on top of hers. Her hair smelled like cotton candy, delicate and fluffy against his cheek. Lee drifted, eyes drooping, so tired... Sakura … how could he describe what he was feeling now? He had to tell her … Was she asleep? Warm, steady breathing, eyes closed… He kissed the top of her head, and wrapped his arms around her. Lee would be soon too…


	9. Shinobi are Shade Grown

Kakashi sat at Guy’s kitchen table, slouched, staring into his sweetened coffee, mug reflected in the varnish of the wood. A man of few words and fewer expressions; a melancholy air hung over him despite the aloof, cool demeanor he endeavored to portray. Thin layers of fog frosted the glass of the back door and Guy’s adopted son had yet to return from his morning run. The boy was young and energetic. A bit too energetic for Kakashi’s liking. He was just like Guy, despite having no known relation. How they managed to find each other was a mystery to him, and a blessing to Guy.

Guy sipped his steaming cup of coffee, plain and bitter. As a man of strong tastes, he always made the coffee strong. Plunking heavily in his chair, a wide grin decorated his memorable, striking face, he seemed to fill the room. He had an enormous presence, demanding attention without trying.

Being in his orbit took eyes away from Kakashi, enabling him to slink into the background as an observer. He sipped from the mug and winced; it needed more cream and sugar. They couldn’t be more mismatched, two magnetized contradictions drawn together by circumstance turned friendship, verging courtship. Guy was a reliable force of nature, both relentless and sincere. Kakashi was inconsistent, a force of procrastination, both reluctant and misleading. Like day and night.

Why he thought Kakashi was fit to teach the fresh, impressionable minds of the Hidden Leaf’s ankle-biters was beyond him. Kakashi went on mission after mission after mission until he shattered. Graduated from the academy at the ripe old age of five, promoted to Jonin at ten, and joined Anbu at thirteen... children… he never was one. 

When Guy’s neighbor rugrat lost most of her hearing, his prodding turned tender-hearted. The girl’s mother refused to continue her education, deeming her daughter unfit and ill-suited for Shinobi life. It was unheard of, permitting such a dangerous disadvantage amongst their ranks. No village would allow it. However, Guy believed in the impossible, in the power of effort. So instead of throwing Kakashi to the sticky, grubby hands of the Leaf’s finest Genin, he urged him to take on a single student. Just one. And he could stay in Anbu part time. Weeks. Guy pestered him for actual weeks. Not that he minded the attention. He remembered the conversation well, Guy issued countless challenges on the subject...

“If I agree, will you stop hounding me?” Kakashi asked, backed against the counter. A staring contest, according to Guy, was done well within one’s personal space.

“Yes, if you promise to give her a real chance.”

“Fine, I’ll meet her, now if you don’t mind, I have a chapter to finish.” Kakashi never explored his own hesitation.

“Meet us for dinner tonight, I’ll ask Lee to bring her to Ichiraku’s.”

“As long as you’re paying.” A peck on the nose, even through the mask, caused Guy to blink, but somehow Kakashi lost.

Guy grinned across the table, reveling in the considerable victory he had managed to etch out. His rival’s kind heart deserved freedom from the clutches of Anbu darkness. Skin too pale, dark circle under his lone, visible eye, consumed by despair. Too many moonlight missions, too many nightmares, too many lives. One way or another Kakashi’s path of self destruction was finished if he had anything to say about it. And he was never shy about using his voice. Kakashi spooned in more sugar, ignoring Guy’s smug grin, clanking silverware against ceramic.

“Well?” Clearly Guy waited for an update on her progress. Patience was never his virtue. “How is Sakura doing?” He could stand to wait longer. This was the most still Kakashi had ever seen him while awake. Sweetness brushed his tongue alongside the harsh, acidic caffeine. Much better.

Sakura. Until he saw her in person, Kakashi struggled to remember her name: a shocking vision of pink hair and green eyes. Observing him brazenly at the restaurant, every emotion displayed across her anxious little face, clinging to Guy’s son... he hadn’t expected the severe absence of social adjustment.

Guy hadn’t noticed, a social anomaly in his own right, serving as her peculiar role model. Recognizing Kakashi’s indifference, Guy attempted to sway him with the cloddish display the kids put on, waving their hands and tittering at one another. Sign language… there was something compelling about it. The field applications were limitless. Recon missions, undercover, and infiltration to name a few. Providing it didn’t interfere with jutsu performance.

Despite Kakashi’s initial impression, she passed his brief exam, a series of timed logic questions and puzzles. Her ability to problem solve and cope with stress was adequate, but for a moment, behind the mousey, frightened demeanor, he saw a burning desire to learn. Guy drummed his fingers on the table, an admittedly attractive picture of impatience.

“We have a lot of work to do.” Kakashi said. 

Weekly lessons proved her complete lapse of formal education. Taijutsu she understood, but Sakura knew almost nothing about Shinobi battle formations, hand seals, chakra, military tactics, ninjutsu, genjutsu, survival skills... She was yanked out of class after a month, Iruka only managed to show her the introductions.

“Yes, but it’ll be worth the trouble, you’ll see.” Guy said.

“What’re you doing about Mebuki?”

“Nothing yet. She’ll come around, it must’ve been a shock, after everything with Kizashi. She’s still distraught, you know.”

Not a chance. A woman fraying at the edges, Mebuki unraveled more after each mission like an old tapestry, cleaning up Anbu massacres, scraping up the bodies of fallen comrades and enemies alike. Guy, the ever concerned colleague, pushed to get her transferred, but she declined. Instead, she dismissed him and others, leaving old friendships to shrivel up and die. 

Kakashi noticed a pattern. It was something he was good at, noticing things. Her new Kunoichi friends converged, shooting piercing glances at Guy, Kakashi, or any other man in their vicinity. It was a wonder Sakura was permitted to see Guy at all. A babysitter neighbor must be a favorable convenience.

“She learned the Shadow Clone.” Kakashi decided to give Guy what he wanted. Though she struggled with it, eyes flickering to her mother’s window. “I wonder if it was too soon.” 

The girl had better chakra control than most adults and producing an adequate clone had everything to do with concentration. Initially, Kakashi chose medicine as a way of straddling the fence between the Shinobi world and civilian life. Now it was clear Sakura had the potential to become a skilled medical nin, something the Hidden Leaf still had a dire need for. He scoured the library, throwing every medical text her way. Left alone, she absorbed the materials with zealous devotion. Probably a gift from Guy.

“How about you go see Iruka, ask him what the kids are learning?” Guy suggested, taking a drink of the robust brew. “I bet he’d be happy to hear his former student was in your capable hands. He was worried about her.”

“Was he?” Kakashi tilted his head. Iruka was worried. It was like him to care for his students long after leaving his classroom. A strange man, so full of empathy. Perfect for teaching little kiddies. “I guess I can.” He brought his empty mug to the sink.

“Kakashi, get some rest too, okay?” Guy said, hand on his shoulder, Kakashi paused. “At least try?”

“Thanks for the coffee.”

Leaving Guy’s house, Kakashi walked to the Shinobi cemetery, closed his book, and spoke to his comrades. Each event unfurled and dropped from his lips like explosions on a battlefield; empty craters in his life, life they did not have, would never have. Thanks to him and his many mistakes... By late afternoon, he decided it was time to visit Iruka, the lateness would grant them a cloak of privacy. 

The academy halls reverberated with the sounds of laughing, chatting students after the last bell rang. Little sandals tapped on the linoleum, Kakashi stuffed his hands in his pockets. His attempt at putting people around him at ease had turned into an unconscious habit. Of course, he could change it at any time.

Alone in his classroom, Iruka wiped chalk from the blackboard, tiny chairs strewn behind matching desks. He loved his job. Educating the village’s next line of defense was a noble duty. However, true joy arrived the moment a student of his understood his lessons, landed their first bulls-eye or perfected a technique. Being here let him have those moments every day. He straightened a stack of papers and a chill ran down his spine. The presence of the Hidden Leaf’s very own Copy Cat ninja was at his door.

“What can I do for you?” Iruka asked. He was always polite, despite being put off. Kakashi in the Academy was an unusual sight and he had yet to rationalize the vision.

“I’ve picked up a former student of yours.” Kakashi said, leaning against the doorframe. He was still tired from that last mission, playing it off like a casual, relaxed gesture. Caffeine wore off hours ago. “Against mother’s orders.”

Iruka knew immediately who he spoke of. Sakura had been enthusiastic in class, jumping up in her seat to answer all of his questions, hanging on his every word. Iruka had carried her to the hospital himself, waited hours to learn what he already suspected: she would not be returning. Losing a student was gut-wrenching, more so when the circumstances were so avoidable. Iruka fought to keep his student enrolled. Mebuki would hear not a word, storming out with her refunded tuition fees and a despondent child at her heels.

He wasn’t sure Kakashi was the ideal choice to educate one so young, but he saw the logic. At the least, his intimacy with Guy would justify his vicinity to her. Part of him questioned the ethics of providing any resources, knowing it was against the parent’s wishes. Guy and Kakashi were treading dangerous territory, not only going against Mebuki’s decision, but training a Shinobi outside the Hidden Leaf’s accepted curriculum. The other part argued in favor of Sakura. It was obvious to anyone what her aspirations were.

“How can I help?” Iruka was good with children. If Kakashi needed help, it was because he was considering becoming a Shinobi mentor in the future. Everyone knew Guy was pushing for it with the Hokage. Iruka busied himself, pushing tiny chairs into place, picking up stray pencils.

“Nothing groundbreaking, though you’d know better than me. A material list would be a start.” Kakashi’s gaze flickered around the empty room. “How about a drink? Friday nights are good for me.” He hoped Iruka’s devotion to his work would outweigh his duty to uphold the rules. From the relenting conflict in his umber eyes, Kakashi deduced he’d be meeting him at the Red Lantern  before long. All it took was the slightest tip of his chin and Kakashi knew he won. “Thanks.”

Iruka entered the bar with no real expectations, gripping a pleather messenger bag. The deep stench of alcohol and fried food mingled with the haze of smoke and dull chatter of off duty Shinobi clinking glasses and pool cues. Low hanging iron lamps swung overhead from wooden beams, unenthusiastic umbrellas perpetuating a pale orange glow. With its secluded booths tucked away from the main bar and blaring jukebox tunes, he understood why Kakashi preferred to meet there.

Briefly he wondered if Kakashi knew Mebuki was a frequent, loyal patron as he spotted him in the corner, nursing a shot of clear liquid. He ducked around jovial, inebriated bodies swaying with the thumping music. Kakashi sat back as Iruka took the seat opposite, throwing back his shot. His mask was porous, if anyone asked. Iruka didn’t, instead he hunched over, feeling downright out of place and it showed. Kakashi let him stew, not the least bit uncomfortable with the silence or the crowd. Not that he was a social person, but he could play the part.

“Did you bring the stuff I asked for?” Kakashi decided to stop wasting time watching Iruka squirm. He had a nap to attempt, per Guy’s request, though he and sleep weren’t really seeing each other. He considered it a break more than a break up, since he was allowed a few hours a night before the nightmares expelled him.

“You make it sound so illegal when you put it like that.” Iruka was unsettled enough, going behind Mebuki’s back. Already he had told at least one lie in the copy room, intercepted by a colleague while printing semester exam sheets for the last year. “Yes, they’re in this bag, along with every syllabus and course material list you’ll need until she graduates.”

“Good.” Kakashi took the pack and set it on the cushion beside him. “I owe you one.” He really did. Breezing through the academy left him with no real memories of classes or what was taught. Almost anyone else would be better suited for this job.

“You owe me nothing, just make sure she’s really learning everything, okay? I don’t have to tell you how important the fundamentals are, especially at her age. She should be in class, learning history and math and jutsu, not to mention socializing with her peers... Sorry. I know this isn’t your fault. It’s just… Mebuki hasn’t enrolled her in civilian classes either.” Iruka didn’t say he overheard a group of Anbu gossiping about it outside the Jonin Standby Station on their way in. He verified the information with the records department and wondered how it was even permitted.

“Really?” It wasn’t a shock, and it explained a lot. No wonder Guy had been so adamant. “Huh.” He would stop by the library again later for a broader range of topics. The women who worked there fawned over him. He was in and out in minutes.

“Was there anything else? I promised Naruto I’d buy him ramen tonight.” Iruka loved his blonde-haired goofball of a student and often treated him to meals. If anyone questioned it, he loved all of his kids equally, of course.

“Yeah, when do you teach the shadow clone?” Kakashi remembered learning it right away, one of the most basic jutsus, right along with kunai handling and self defense, but Iruka sighed.

“The idea is everything they learn about jutsu and chakra control in the early formative years make mastering the shadow clone easier, but we don’t expect them to do it until their final year. The same goes for the transformation jutsu.” Iruka lamented the undertaking Kakashi was attempting. The question was serious. Sakura was only eight. “Look, just... come to me okay? Kids are straightforward, but it’s easy to give them the wrong impression. Talk to her, make sure she understands what you expect from her. I mean, you can’t talk to her, but - wait, how are you communicating?” Iruka was making a mess of this conversation.

“She and Guy’s kid created a visual alphabet with some words and phrases. My plan is to turn it into a fully developed language.” Kakashi sounded casual, shrugging his shoulders, but the endeavor was enormous and he knew it. If all field ninja had a soundless way of communicating, a language no enemy had prior knowledge of, it could be a benefit to the Hidden Leaf. Supposing it was practical to have vision on an ally. He would ask Lord the Third for his endorsement. Eventually. 

“A visual alphabet?” Iruka’s mouth dropped open.

“And I’m teaching her to lip read.” He wasn’t, not really, but he probably should. Iruka sat back in his chair and covered his face with his hands.

“You my friend, are a rockstar.” Iruka was beside himself. Despite advocating for Sakura to stay, he never figured out how he would educate her. Kakashi had. It seemed he was more fit for the position than he was. Iruka slid out of the booth. “You know, Sakura’s lucky to have you, and I’m sure she knows it. I suppose I’ll see you next Friday.”

Taking a deep breath of fresh air when he stepped outside, Iruka patted his clothes as if to rid them of any clinging cigarette smell. Naruto would probably complain about how hungry he got waiting around for him. Iruka would excuse his tardiness with a playful jab about grading his lengthy, illegible essay.

Kakashi stared into his empty shot glass, waving away the offer of another. Drowning in a bottle was never his way, unlike many of his Jonin and Anbu comrades. Part of him wanted to linger, to avoid his empty studio apartment a while longer, to avoid the mission scroll sure to be in his mailbox. Instead, he tossed bills on the table and left. Avoidance was never his way either.

Book in hand, shoulders slumped, other in his pocket, Kakashi entered the bustling, late afternoon streets of the lively city. Somehow he never bumped into anyone, despite splitting his focus. From the Red Lantern, he entered the restaurant district. The wind carried the scent of dirt and sweat, a touch of freshly earthed fruits and vegetables from the marketplace. His studio was beside Hokage tower, a hostel apartment building for Jonin and Anbu personnel. Passing by the Dango Shop, Guy, along with a group of their peers, waved him over. Familiar, cheap perfume, artificial strawberry candy mingled with dumpling oil. A splash of pink drew his eye.

“Kakashi! Come and join us!” Guy’s need to include him was an incessant, ongoing annoyance. As one of the few things he refused to compromise on, Kakashi ignored him, but Guy was determined, leaving the group to intercept his path. “Come on! Be social!”

“Maybe you ought to deal with that first.” Kakashi said, pointing. At the end of his finger, Sakura wandered into the district, sobbing, lost and distressed, a coat of dust on her clothes. 

Abandoning mission: Make Kakashi Smile and Eat Dumplings, Guy bolted and scooped her up. Never would he imagine she’d leave home without permission. After leaving Sakura in her kitchen, Guy was relieved. Her unchaperoned adventure to Konoha Market reminded him of her tenacity, granting him reprieve from his brief uncertainty. Pushing Kakashi to educate her was the right thing to do, for the both of them.

Guy was a joyful man, a take life by the horns kind of man. A man who knew happiness was a choice, one he would forever strive to make. Sakura challenged his choices without ever meaning to. An endearing, despondent little girl, who only seemed to want to satisfy others. Some people were never happy, choosing to raise the bar higher and higher. 

Mebuki Haruno was such a person. The fridge littered with sticky notes flickered before his mind’s eye, numerous commands from afar, demonstrating her desire to shatter that tenacity through control. Guy watched Sakura beg to be enrolled in the Academy every single day, then when it finally happened, it was ripped away. It broke Guy’s heart, though he would never show it, especially not to his kids. Normally sunny and boisterous, he allowed himself a somber moment. For a few more hours, Lee would be at school. Plenty of time to recharge.

As the clock tick-tocked in the corner, he stood, chair scraping against the tile. While he loved Sakura a great deal, Guy had finite control over her fate. The afternoon passed by slowly, he checked in on her, stepping outside to peek through the back door. She pushed a chair up to the counter and climbed up, a cutting board and knife set alongside scattered, peeled potatoes and a recipe book. She stuck the blade into the hard, starchy vegetable and Guy smiled. 

Most adults might stop her, pull the dangerous, sharp-edged tool from her hands, and chastise her for daring to pick it up. Not Guy. He believed in the power of practice, diligence manifesting into confidence. A determined heart pushes itself to pick up something unfamiliar and take aim, for the sake of others, or themselves. He would watch over those hearts and nurture them, provide a gentle nudge when conviction wavered. It was his chosen path, his Ninja Way, best displayed in the spirit of his beloved, dynamic son, Lee; a youth whose resolve burned with as much passion as his own. 

One day Lee and Sakura would make a formidable team. Guy recognized their invisible bond, harmonious, lending support without missing a beat. Leaning against the siding, his thoughts drifted to Kakashi. The joy of learning, of being alive, being young... living in the shadow of his past deeds, his dearest partner was missing out. Since becoming an agent of Anbu, he’d only gotten worse...

Cloaked by nightfall, Kakashi leapt through the trees. His squad closed in on their targets: a score of defective fugitives of a tiny village near the Hidden Grass. Foolish and reckless, to travel in such large numbers. Not that it mattered. Context was a luxury to Anbu. Orders were to eliminate them: a hit requisitioned by their own former territory. Anbu halted, still as stone, perched like gargoyles awaiting their prey. 

Gusts of frigid wind stirred the woods, rustling black synthetic fibers of the elite assassin’s uniform. Their targets entered the clearing, a chatting patchwork of gray and tan, headbands scored with the self imposed brand of cowards and traitors. It was quick and merciless, ne’er a screech of pain nor howl of terror broke the tranquility. Kakashi was especially efficient, immaculate lightning blade flaying skin, bone, and muscle like butter. Silent save for a brief, discernible chittering of birds. Anbu vanished in a swirl of foliole, leaving echoes of ejected souls in their wake.

Kakashi bent over his tub scrubbing his uniform, blood running down the ivory ceramic, a vein of liquid crimson. Freezing water rushed over his ungloved hands; heat would set the splatters, forever branding him with carnage. He attacked the smears with a frenzy not seen on the battlefield, fraying the bristles off his best corn brush. It didn’t matter, he would be buying another soon. Lord Hokage would dispatch him again and again… and again. Kakashi rested his head on the cool porcelain, deflated, palms numb and frozen, visibly clean, but coated in phantoms, stains on his soul. Names of fallen comrades etched on his still beating heart like a festering blister. Rin, Obito… No, he would not wallow. This was his duty, his calling; a weapon for his village, no matter how torturous. He sat back, and turned off the tap.

In his room, he changed into sweats and grabbed the messenger bag, dumping the contents onto his bed. Tomorrow he would bring Sakura a stack of medical books from the Library Archive, a dozen this time. Kakashi dipped the mattress and looked over her test packet. Her essay was thorough, utilizing the provided space as well as the back, writing neat and eloquent. He was not qualified to judge this information, finding himself learning from the paper rather than grading it. 

Nonetheless, pen in hand, textbooks open, he set to the task. She would need a math book. Iruka’s syllabus outlined Kunoichi specific classes: flower arranging and culture studies. Nonsense. Kakashi struggled to define a purpose for flower arranging on any mission. A compromise. He would find a text on each topic and leave it alone.

Perched on his dresser, Sakura’s bag illustration of his likeness sat beside his Anbu mask, delicate bow drooping over his silver paper hair. Kakashi leaned against the wall, rustling the sea of notes. She was too attached, eyes filled with adoration teetering on worship. He was getting too attached. 

There were moments of fondness for the title of sensei, minute pricks of gratification when she perfected a technique or replicated new signs. Guy knew dividing time between teaching and Anbu would be impossible to sustain, even part time. The Anbu mask beseeched: cling to darkness. The paper bag begged: there is still light. Kakashi sighed, torn between the path he was set upon by his late mentor, and the other by his loving partner. Exhaustion won against both and he flopped onto his pillow, crinkling up the schoolwork.

“Ka… Kakashi…” Blood spewed from Rin’s lips and gushed down her neck, hand grasping nothing, Kakashi’s lightning blade through her chest. No, not again… Drenched in cold sweat, he was thirteen again. Panting, he tossed and turned, burying his face in his hands until his eyelids throbbed. 

A new image emerged, morphing from the tragedy. Rin in a sunny, grassy field, straight brown hair rustling in the wind, leaves swirling behind her. Beyond reach, waving. No, not waving. Signing.

‘Everything’s alright. Deep breaths.’ She smiled, warm and friendly, like when they trained together, a crown of white daffodils in her hair. Beckoning. ‘Step into the sun.’ Kakashi realized the world was bisected, a line of night where he stood. No, not night. Blackness. Not a star or moon in sight. Like a ghost, she faded, transparent, until she was gone, her voice echoed. “Step into the sun.”

“Rin?” Kakashi called out. “Rin!” Where she once stood, Sakura kneeled, clutching the flowers on her lap, looking up at him… A hand patted her head. Guy sat at her side, Lee on the other, grinning, inviting him to join them. Daffodils were suddenly everywhere, blanketing the world like snow, white blending with hues of orange, yellow, and pink. Kakashi awoke with tears drenching his mask.

The following day brought a new mission. Never again would ill prepared Shinobi be sent onto the battlefield. Minato did his best, but... Kakashi subverted his efforts to teach them proper teamwork. It cost Obito and Rin their lives. Never again. Lord Hokage would agree to release him from Anbu to become a Mentor. The next few years would determine if Kakashi was ill suited or exactly what the village needs.

Throwing himself into the task, Kakashi carried her on his back through the window of the hospital storage room. Saving a dying fish was a common training method for medical ninjas, and after the last two years of incessant studying, it was time Sakura made an attempt. It smelled of stale sweat, disinfectant, and filtered lake water. 

Littered with boxes of unused disposables, it was a small space, a fifty gallon fish tank shoved against the far wall beside a tall, plastic folding table. It was a quarantine tank, with a single, sickly gray fish hovering near the top. At some point, it would either recover from its illness and be transferred back home, or it would die. Thanks to a few mission injuries and a gabby doctor, he knew this particular fish was already on antibiotics. Depositing her beside the table, Kakashi moved to the tank.

Shaken from her encounter with Neji, Sakura was hardly prepared to save a life. However, one’s emotions had no place on the field of battle, especially for a medical ninja. It was an important lesson, according to Kakashi. He tossed the fish onto the table, splashing droplets of water along the linoleum floor. It wriggled and flopped, Sakura recoiled then scooped it up, scurrying to the tank. He blocked her path, arms crossed as it lay wheezing, eyes bulging, in her tiny hands. It made her snivel and plead, tears welling up. Kakashi had no time for undisciplined, sentimental students and headed towards the window, stepping onto the sill.

Threatening to take off never failed to induce focus, even if he didn’t mean it. He made the discovery one morning, weary after a mission, sick of watching her mistakes. When he vanished without a word, she panicked. Since then, as underhanded as it made him feel, it got results. As expected, instead of the sloshing of water, he heard the conspicuous sound of a crate being dragged over to the table. By afternoon, Sakura managed to rid Mr. Fish of his curable illness, and keep him alive.


	10. Sakura: Rising of Shadows

Under the rising morning sun, Sakura wandered from training area to training area, searching for Lee. Since Team Guy elected to take the Chunin exams this year, Lee redoubled his training regime. Apparently it was possible. Ugh, she should’ve known better. Tucking her arms around herself, she shivered against the frigid wind, heading to the next ground. Despite the cold, her palms were damp with sweat, and her stomach churned. Maybe Lee wouldn’t want to see her. Maybe she’d be bothering him when he should be focused...

Since becoming Genin, he threw himself at the challenge, taking on any mission, sometimes being gone an entire day or two. It worried her, when he was gone. Though he was capable of handling himself, and Team Guy was with him... Sakura couldn’t help it. Oh, where was he? This was the last training area in the village! Maybe she missed him somewhere. Oh no, what if she missed him! Should she start all over? What if he was gone on a mission right now? Should she go back home?

Instead, Sakura plopped onto the grass, dew seeping through her skirt. Sunshine stretched across the sky, tinted waves of blush and amber clouds. What should she do? She could spend all day looking and find nothing. There was still her whole chore list to get done. Grasping their old lunchbox, now sunbleached and scratched up, she shivered again. Most of the stickers peeled off, leaving behind white shreds of sticky paper and glue. Absently, she picked at one. Maybe he didn’t want to be found. It would be easy to avoid her if he wanted to. No, it wouldn’t be like him to do that... Why was she so nervous?

The possibility of running into other teams... With the exams coming up, everyone was training hard to prepare. All she could do to help Lee was feed him. There had to be something else... Any other day she would’ve given it to him before he left, or left it on his porch, but he didn’t come home last night. When he was focused, his excitement and energy truly had no limit. Ugh, he probably fell asleep someplace after running laps or something. He could be anywhere, even outside the village. At least it hadn’t rained, so he wouldn’t catch a cold or anything. Rain wouldn’t stop him.

A hand tapped her shoulder and she jumped. Did she shriek? Something happened, hopefully it wasn’t loud, she hadn’t meant to. Three pairs of eyes stared down at her. Well, two and a pair of sunglasses. Standing up, Sakura patted her hip, but nothing was there. Oh no! No no no, no! Her bag was gone! Did she forget to bring it? Stupid! How was she going to communicate without her things? What did they want? Was she in their spot?

“Hey there, you here to train  for the  Chūnin exams too?” A scruffy kid with dark, unbrushed hair, wearing a thick, hooded gray coat, like the wolf from Little Red Riding Hood. He had a puppy on his head! And were those… fangs? 

“U-umm, what’s your name? I’m Hinata.” The girl seemed nice, had pretty indigo hair and milky lilac eyes, like Neji. Maybe she was from the same clan?

Was she mumbling? Her lips were barely moving, eyes flickering away, hands fidgeting. The third person had small, round sunglasses, and fluffy auburn hair that stuck out all over, but his mouth was hidden under his gray coat, buttoned all the way up to his nose! She could cry. Why did she forget her bag? How stupid! What did they want? They didn’t look angry, and seemed to be around her age. Were they friendly? Maybe?

“She looks scared. Why? Because we snuck up on her.” 

Umm... Sunglasses probably said something, no one else’s mouths moved. What did he say? Was he getting upset? For all she knew, he was screaming at her! Should she leave? Tears pricked the corners of her eyes. No, don’t cry! Stop it! Take a deep breath, stop shaking. If Lee could take on the Chunin exams, then she could talk to strangers. But… there was a huge difference between her and Lee.

“I am sorry. I have severe hearing loss and cannot understand you.” There, she did it. Automatically, Sakura signed along. Hopefully she could puzzle together what they wanted. “I can read lips and face expressions a little.”

“I AM KIBA! ” The scruffy boy’s mouth opened wide and Sakura’s heart plummeted. He was probably yelling. Putting up her hands, she shook her head.

‘No, no, please.’ What should she do? Why did she sign? It wouldn’t help!

Backing away, she wiped away tears. No, no no! Any second they would get angry. What if they were friends with Lee? She shouldn’t talk to them, he might not like it. What if she embarrassed him? No, no more talking! Why was it so hard to breathe? Hide, was there anywhere to hide? Her heart raced, deep breaths, deep breaths... Why did she leave her house? Stupid, stupid! Of course she would run into Lee’s friends!

Sunglasses pushed Wolf aside and motioned for her to follow him. Why? Where were they going? He took her wrist and tugged her away as another group of boys arrived. No, not more people! Dizzy, the world was shrinking, squeezing her. Maybe if she waited, they would all go away. He brought them to a tree on the far side and blocked her view of the grounds. Pulling his coat collar down, he pointed at her.

“You are looking for someone. Stay her e and I will find  them. Who is it?” He pointed at a space under the tree. He wanted her to sit? Pointing again at her then the spot, “You are looking for someone. Stay here and I will find them.  Who is it?” Who was she looking for?

“Rock Lee.” Sakura choked out, curling up under the tree, hugging the box. Why did she think she could do this? She owed him an apology. “I am sorry.” He nodded and walked off.

How stupid… a kid her own age had to rescue her from panicking in the middle of her own village. Was she that helpless? Mom was right... She should go home. Lee wasn’t here, and at this rate she wouldn’t find him. Already she made a spectacle of herself, embarrassed him in front of his friends, probably interrupted their training... 

Maybe he got his lunch somewhere else. He never really needed her, it was always her who needed him. He probably took them to humor her, or maybe out of pity. It wasn’t like she had anything better to do. Seeing her acting like such a baby would distract him. Taking time from his regime to comfort her... Lee was too nice, she didn’t deserve it. She wouldn’t - couldn’t - do that. It would mean she let him down, broke her promise to never get in his way. And what was she doing now? Getting in everyone’s way. Those other kids didn’t need this either. Fresh tears pooled and fell. Pathetic, couldn’t even talk to people... Of course Lee wouldn’t want to see her.

Stop it, stop it! Think about something else! So stupid... Just give Lee his lunchbox. She could be useful sometimes... She stayed up extra late to make his favorite things, to keep up his strength. He never turned her away before, why would he now? … Because he was busier now, had more important things to do. Because he was too nice to tell her to get lost and leave him alone.

Ugh, she was probably a mess. Brushing her tears away, Sakura combed her fingers through her hair, willing the strands to lay flat. Hopefully her face wasn’t all gross. Hopefully it would clear up before she found Lee. Then he wouldn’t notice, wouldn’t get distracted. Oh, who was she kidding? He always noticed, practically able to read her mind. What should she do?

Okay, it was okay to look messy, Lee just couldn’t find out why. Leaving the lunchbox, Sakura bolted around the tree, working up a light sweat. A few laps should do it, not too many, she didn’t want to stink. Were they staring? It didn’t matter, better than Lee getting upset. 

Whew, she picked up the box and fanned herself, leaning against the bark, catching her breath. Maybe she overdid it a little. Okay, now she could go looking for Lee again. Across the field, Sunglasses, Wolf and Pretty Hair walked over with Lee in tow, like Anbu escorting the Hokage. What? How!? When did they -?

“Hey Sakura!” Lee signed, jogging over, smiling. All her anxiety melted, her heart stuttered, suddenly giddy and light. He was here! “I heard you were looking for me.”

“Yes, I... “ There were so many people around, but she couldn’t take her eyes off Lee’s handsome face. Oh, right! Lunchbox! She pressed it into his hands. ‘This is for you.’ She could sign now, at least. Lee tied it to his weapons pouch.

“Thank you! I look forward to it!” He signed. That irresistible smile again! It was like the sun came out and warmed her face.

Incomprehensible babbles circulated and filtered into her bubble. Did everyone start talking at once? Were they talking to her? Wolf elbowed Lee’s side, smirking. Sakura took a few steps back, watching mouths move at once. So many… she couldn’t… It was like living in a glass jar.

“She your girlfriend? Hehe nice. Nno Kiba. Tch, of  course not. Hey, come on guys. Give the love birds some space.”

Lee’s flushed, redness spread across his face and down his neck, shaking his head, hands up, denying... something. Oh no, he was embarrassed! Of course he was! What was she thinking? She hadn’t meant to - she shouldn’t have come. This was a stupid idea. If she wasn’t such an idiot, she might’ve realized he wouldn’t want her talking to his friends. So inconsiderate, embarrassing, stupid, useless... Making him deal with her… he must be so annoyed, and she didn’t blame him.

Stop talking, not another word. If she didn’t talk, she wasn’t as embarrassing. No matter how hard she tried, her words were… not normal. Mom said so. Well, not said, but... 

Try to smile… It felt wrong, like it would slide off her face. Instead she stared at the ground, choking back tears and folded her hands. Hopefully Lee would forgive her, but she wouldn’t risk apologizing. Not that he would tell her if he was angry... Maybe he was explaining her to them, so he wouldn’t be so embarrassed next time. Next time... yeah, right. They weren’t going to ever see her again. It was for the best.

“We need to get  going anyway.” 

The rambling faded away along with rows of sandals. Did Lee leave too? Maybe he took his lunch and left. She should probably check... Those sure looked like his - striped orange leg warmers carrying his weights, blue sandals… Why was he still there?

“Sakura?” He looked worried, she failed. Totally failed. Great, promise broken.

“Lee, I am so sorry!” The words burst out before she could stop them. Why? Why? She should’ve waited until later to apologize. Why was she crying again? Ugh! How did this go so wrong? She wiped her cheeks on her sleeve. Wait, he was smiling?

“Hey, you had to talk to those other Genin, right? Because you were looking for me?” He signed, then gave her a thumbs up, “Good work Sakura! I knew you could do it!” Wait... 

“Were you hiding?” Avoiding her... please no.

“What? Of course not! Of course not! I would never, I missed you.” He signed. Even if he had, she would’ve forgiven him on the spot. He could hide if he wanted to. She wouldn’t blame him, she’d hide from her too.

“How did they find you?” She asked.

“Oh that! They are Team Eight, some of the best trackers in the village! I was close, you almost found me!” He pointed towards the thicket at the edge of the grounds, the village river ran beyond. “Right through there! I was going to practice Seasickness Fist! So, would you like to share this lunch with me?”

So close! If only she hadn’t given up... She nodded. Now of all times, she was speechless. Earlier would’ve been nice. Sitting under the tree, Lee popped open the box. Sakura kneeled, watching him unpack. Such concentration, placing each item carefully on the grass, smiling, relaxed, not a trace of working through the night... How did he do that? 

“Oh wow, you really outdid yourself!” He signed, then did a double take, “Sakura, do I have something on my face?” Huh? Oh! She was staring! She covered her face with her hands. A fever. Only in her cheeks. That was it. Answer him, stupid!

“No! Sorry!” Sakura signed, rubbing her fist on her chest. “I... did I embarrass you earlier? I am sorry. Am I keeping you from training?” Lee frowned. Did she make things worse? Stop talking already!

“You could not embarrass me if you tried,” Lee signed. She was definitely not trying, but it kept happening anyway. “And I will train after, do not worry!”

Lee ate every bit of his lunch. He tried sharing it, but it was made especially for him, she added energy boosting herbs from her medical books to her recipe. Not too many, Guy-sensei helped a lot. Medicinal plants were one of his many specialties.

As a treat, she made a frosted chocolate cupcake with a pinch of red pepper powder. They were among his favorites. Eyes big, he held it in the palm of his hand like a precious jewel. On top of the whipped vanilla frosting was a small, decorated sugar cookie man. He set it back in the box.

“Is that me? You made a little me?” He signed. Fat, happy tears rolled down his cheeks. “I love him! It is so cute! Sakura! I do not want to eat it now! He even has my pose! How did you do that?”

“Oh Lee, I made him to be eaten.” Sakura said. Sniffling, he pulled her into a tight hug, and she melted. Mmm, he was so warm… she could stay here all day, nap right in his arms... She missed him so much. It’s official, medical books were wrong, her bones were jelly, not collagen or calcium. Just jelly. Giving her another squeeze, he pulled away.

“At least share this lovely cake with me?” Lee asked.

Well, she couldn’t say no now. Carefully, he removed the cookie, peeled back the paper and pinched it into two shares, giving half to her. He took tiny bites, savoring the cake. Biting into her own, she noted the cake came out moist, with the right amount of spice and sweetness. Did Lee think so? He cradled the little cookie man, devastation written all over his face. She giggled. Spice and sweetness. That described him really well.

“I will make more if you want.” She said.

“You will?” He signed. She nodded. Of course! Gently, he laid the cookie on her palm. “I cannot do it, I am sorry, Sakura. He is just too perfect.”

“I am sorry.” She said. He didn’t want his cookie? But... Sakura tried not to cry. Maybe he didn’t like any of her desserts. Was he only humoring her? That couldn’t be true, right? Then again, he hated wasting food, and if he wouldn’t eat the cookie then it must be bad...

“Woah! I mean, I take it back! Of course I will eat him! Please do not cry!” He signed wildly, took it from her hands, and bit off a leg. Did he like it? Smiling, he gave a thumbs up, biting off the arm next. He put it down to sign, “Not too sweet, he is as perfect as I imagined. Thank you!” His head turned, Sakura followed his gaze. Oh, his teammate was here.

“She’s sure  got you wrapped around her finger,” Tenten said and Lee frowned. Was this bad? Should Sakura leave? Should she ask?“ Hey there, Pinky.”

“Her name is Sakura, Tenten.” Lee said.

Did that mean leave? Probably, so he could train with her without distractions. What did he want her to do? Staring at the ground, she waited. Oh, the lunchbox… Sakura should take it home, so he didn’t have to carry it. A poke to her shoulder, she looked up and Tenten kneeled across from her.

Was she supposed to talk? What if she couldn’t do it? What if her words didn’t come out or were wrong and embarrassed Lee again? All her materials were at home... she wanted to run away. Lee squeezed her hand.

‘Tenten says hello.’ Lee signed. 

‘Hello.’ Sakura waved, hand trembling. How stupid. She shouldn’t talk, just in case. Unless he told her to, then she might, but... did he want her to? Translating was a lot of work. He didn’t look happy, exactly, but not unhappy? Pensive? Tenten’s mouth moved and Lee’s hands followed.

‘Tenten says you should come train with us sometime, that it would be nice to have another woman around.’ Oh, but… they were a team. Guy-sensei’s team. It wouldn’t be okay for her to interfere, she would get in the way. Lee said something to Tenten, then added, ‘She said maybe she could come visit you instead.’

At her house? No, no Mom wouldn’t like that at all. She would want to know how they met. How would Sakura explain that? Maybe if Tenten was visiting Lee… No, Sakura was a terrible liar, Mom would know right away. If she knew she was out here… it would be bad. Would she forbid her from seeing Lee? 

It was bad enough she was out here, Mom wouldn’t tolerate her bothering him if she knew. Oh no, she was starting to panic again! Deep breaths, deep breaths, a ball formed in her throat. She had to go, right now! Mom didn’t know she was here, Mom didn’t know she was here... This was not good! Lee shouldn’t have to deal with this. It would upset him, or - it was time to leave.

“I’m sorry.” She said, then fled, avoiding busy streets. She was so stupid. Why? Why? Why? Lee probably hated her for embarrassing him. Again.

Dodged through alleyways, over fences, Sakura circled around through the backyard. No one saw her as she slipped in the back door and curled up on the kitchen floor, trying to calm down. So stupid! Lee and Tenten were trying to be nice, and she ran away! They would be right to never try again after this. She didn’t deserve their kindness. Why did she think it was okay to bother them? Why didn’t she leave sooner?

A long figure loomed over her, casting a shadow. Who? Did Guy-sensei come over? Mom? Mom! She was supposed to be asleep! Why was she in uniform already? What time was it? Did she know? 

Jerking Sakura to her feet, a deep, angry frown etched across her forehead, Mom squeezed her wrist. Crackling pain burst, her hand throbbed, she bit her lip as Mom dragged her into the living room and bent her over the table. No, please no! One hand gripped her neck, the other came down hard on her backside. Smack, smack, smack- Sakura sobbed, please stop! It hurt so much! 

Why was Mom awake? Did she wake her? Was she in trouble for leaving or being loud? No, it didn’t matter, both were wrong. She deserved this, she should’ve left Lee’s lunch on his porch. Maybe Guy-sensei would’ve found it. 

Legs numb, her knees buckled, Sakura slid to the floor. Something hard and pointy struck her back, knocking the wind from her lungs, then her side. Over and over. Sakura coughed, biting her tongue to keep from crying out, digging her fingers into the carpet. Pain... please stop... Mom yanked her up by her hair, strands ripped from her scalp, and shoved her up the stairs, into her room. Was she yelling? Weak, Sakura dropped in a heap, cradling her hand.

Mom messed with the window, then left. Hopefully she didn’t fix it, or Lee would be upset. Tentative, she took a deep breath, but stopped when pain zapped her lungs, coughing. Short, little breaths… she sat up and the door opened. No, no please! Mom yanked her up, her chest tightened. Punishment wasn’t over. No - a pink pacifier was held up, then pressed between her lips. Sakura shook her head, no please, she’ll stop. She’ll never cry again! Please - Mom pinched her nose, holding her head still until she had to take a breath, stuffed it in, then slapped a strip of clear, wide tape over her mouth. Why? Grabbing her hands, she spun Sakura around, and pinned them together. No wait! She tried to twist free, but a blow knocked her on her down. Mom wrestled her over, shoving her face into the rug, and taped her hands together, pain shot up her wrist. A foot prodded her cheek, but she turned away. 

“Be angry if you  want, this is for your own good.” Then she was alone.

Sakura tried to stop crying, but the sobs kept coming. It only got her in trouble. Hopefully Mom went back to bed. Hopefully she wasn’t loud. Flopping onto her side, she winced and sniffled, struggling to breath through her nose. Stay on the floor, she didn’t deserve a bed… Maybe she should sleep. 

Sunshine shone in her eyes, warming her skin, but she didn’t move. It didn’t matter… the tape itched and her fingers went numb. Everything throbbed, like she was a giant bruise... Why was she such a bad kid? Lee never got into trouble. Why couldn’t she stop breaking the rules? Mom shouldn’t have to punish her so much. Drool oozed from the tape, she wiped her face on the shoulder of her dress. Gross… How long was this punishment? Until Mom went to work? Until tomorrow? It didn’t matter, she deserved it. 

A dark shadow filled her window. Kakashi-sensei! Crouched outside, poking the frame. Was he trying to get it open? Carefully, she sat up and shook her head. What if Mom was still awake? Would she yell at him? He formed jutsu signs. What was he doing? No, don’t - Poof! He appeared behind her, the chair from her desk now outside. What did he do? Was it noisy? Something metal brushed her wrist and cut the binding. Large, chilly hands kneaded feeling into her fingers. Why didn’t he leave? Why did he untie her? He reached for the tape on her face, but Sakura leaned back, shaking her head.

‘This is punishment, I have to leave it.’ She signed. Mom was right, people shouldn’t have to deal with her.

‘For what?’ He signed. Sakura didn’t want to tell him. Maybe he would think this punishment wasn’t good enough. Maybe it wasn’t... If it wasn’t... it was for him to decide.

‘Crying,’ She signed, sliding her fingers down her cheeks. ‘I woke her up after I brought Lee his lunch.’ Sakura shifted, taking short breaths. Sitting hurt, breathing hurt, but it was her own fault.

Kakashi-sensei reached out and she flinched, was he going to hit her? Instead he pried the tape from her face and crinkled it up. He pulled out the pacifier, a trail of saliva, regarding it like a poisoned weapon, setting it on her desk. Mortified, Sakura covered her face, sick of crying. 

No way he would teach her after this. Who would want such a pathetic, worthless, stupid kid for a student? Why was he still here? He handed her a tissue, then walked to the window, fiddling with the lock, something thin and shiny glinted in his palm. What was he doing?

‘I came to tell you a Genin team passed my test.’ He signed, evidently finished with his task. A Genin team… Oh! Calm down, she wiped her face. Sensei just shared good news! More or less… No, it was good. Finally he found students worth his time! Hopefully he would still visit her sometimes, or maybe he would be too busy.

‘Do you have pictures?’ She asked. ‘Please Sensei? Can I see your new kids?’

From his pocket, he pulled out his wallet and handed her three photos. He really let her see them! They were picture day photos: A boy with blonde, spiky hair with such a big, bright grin, he was almost hard to look at. The other two had black hair. One was pale, almost ghostly, with porcelain skin and a painted on smile, hair hanging in flat, hard edge locks. Lastly, this one… seemed sad. Lips in a thin line, black eyes hard and angry, hair stuck up in the back, layered around his face. What was his name?

‘Problem?’ Kakashi-sensei asked.

“No, sorry,” Sakura signed, handing them back, “I am so happy for you, Sensei! They’re very lucky kids!”

‘Lucky? Sure.’ He signed, tucking the photos in his pocket. ‘Now, Sakura, is there anything you’d like to tell me? Anything you want to talk about?’ Talk about? Was there supposed to be? Unless he meant…

‘No, Kakashi-sensei.’ Sakura’s wrist twinged.

‘You’re sure? You can tell me anything, I’ll listen.’ He signed. What did he want her to say? That she was the worst kid in the world? He must not know, since he was still here. Would he hit her too if he found out? 

“No, Sensei.” She swallowed hard, avoiding his eyes. 

‘I see. Alright then. In that case, let’s review last week’s lessons. Now that I have a team, I expect you to work harder on your own.’

“Yes, Sensei.” Sakura said, smiling. He was still her teacher! It didn’t matter how often he came, she would do her best.


	11. Lee: Promises of Tomorrow

Chūnin exams! Lee would make Dad proud! In a full handstand in his backyard, sweat dropped down his face and soaked into the grass of his backyard. Nine-hundred and sixty-one! Nine-hundred and sixty-two! Nine-hundred and sixty-three! With his leg weights, keeping balance was especially difficult. 

Tomorrow he and his team would embark on the next stage in their youthful adventure to become splendid Shinobi! It was time to show the fruits of his training in a real test! He could not wait! It was rare for him to train at home. From his patio, he had a full view of the back: old training stumps, wood worn and stuck with holes stood beside their large, lucious oak tree. Perhaps he would get to see Sakura. Since running away from Tenten, as far as he knew, she had not left home once.

Slam! What? Lee pounced, muscles coiled, and swung onto an overhanging branch, creeping behind the leaves. What was that? Did Dad set up traps knowing he would be home? Pressed against the trunk, he scanned the yard for foe, kunai ready.

Sakura walked into the middle of the lawn in a flowy peach skirt and crop top, carrying a book. Oh... Well... now he felt silly. All the extra survival drills must have him on edge, not to mention the rumor going around about Genin being pre-tested for qualifications. So far, both Naruto and Sasuke passed. Relaxing, he put away his weapon as Sakura placed a heavy open book on the ground, then stepped back.

‘Shadow clone jutsu.’ She signed. A clone appeared and leaned over the book. What was she doing? A new jutsu? Perhaps Kakashi-sensei decided to give her a jutsu book! Wait, what was that sound? Was she talking?

“Hmm, mm mmm, hmm hm.” It was humming. Sakura. Was. Humming! Oh, Lee’s poor heart all but stopped. The happy birthday song? Tears threatened to pour down his face. She was too adorable! He could not take it! He had to hug her right - huh?

Facing one another, Sakura and the clone moved their feet, criss crossing, more or less in sync. Raising their arms, moving back and forth, they twisted their hips in small, tight circles. … What was she doing? This was not a jutsu… Oh, he should not watch! Lee put his hands over his face. After all, Sakura did not know he was there. ... He spaced his fingers. They spun, holding hands, feet moving faster. Mesmerizing… his heart thumped - so beautiful, like she stepped out of a fairytale or a snow globe. Flashes of smooth skin, more twists and spins… Suddenly hot, he tugged at his collar and covered a cough. Perhaps it was the sun. Yes. Definitely the sun. Really should stop watching now, it was un-youthful to observe a lady like this... His eyes ignored his brain.

Wow, her hair was really long, down to her hips, swishing wildly. Perhaps she was afraid to go get it cut. He should ask her. If she wanted, he would be her escort. Then again… it was nice on her. Stopping, she went back to the book. Right! Now or never! Lee hopped down and tapped her shoulder. She shrieked and jumped, flailing, losing her footing. Woah, whoops! He caught her waist before she fell, he had not meant to scare her!

“Leee!” Sakura looked shocked to see him. Ouch, that hurt a little. Was he gone that much? Face red, she stood and straightened her skirt, “Uh, hhow... how llong have yyou been here?” Why did she have to ask that? He really did not want to say he watched the whole time.

“My youthful workout began at the break of dawn!” Lee signed, folding his arms over, “Sakura, why were you humming?”

“Oh, uhh I do nnot know, I like the vvibrating.” She said. Oh! “I am sso glad you are hhere!”

“You are?” He pointed, question hand up, grinning. Yes! She was happy to see him! She missed him too! Jumping up and down, her clone clapped her hands, nodding. Why was she still there?

“Yyes!” Sakura said, “I hhave ann idea for your training!” She picked up the book and showed him the page, “Look, dannce exercises! Doo you want to try? It is ssupposed to help with all ssorts of things! Annd it is super fun.” Dancing? Was that what she was doing?

“Yes! I will try almost anything to get stronger!” He signed, flexing his arms. It would not hurt!

“Rreally? Wwe can?” Sakura said, bouncing. Dancing apparently made her very happy. Good to know. Alright! He would dance with Sakura! 

“Uh, will we be dancing with three?”

“Ssorry.” Sakura waved to her clone, who poofed in a cloud of smoke.

Looking at the page, the book was detailed, with illustrated dancers and step-by-step instructions. No wonder she pulled them off so easy! It was perfect for beginners! Where did she get it from? Kakashi-sensei must’ve brought it, he could not imagine her heading into the library on her own. A Shinobi must be capable of memorizing any movement! Okay!

“Rready to try?”

“Ready!”

Standing across from Sakura, Lee kicked his heels out and twisted, trying to copy her movements. Paying attention earlier paid off! Some of them were fast! Putting her hands up, she rolled her hips. The thing she did earlier! Right! He tried to duplicate it, but it did not seem like he got the same smooth motion she did. Back and forth? No, that was not right. Side to side… nope, his hips did not want to do it. Did they have the same hips? He tapped her shoulder.

“Perhaps my hips are not made to do that,” He signed to her.

“Wwhat do you mean?” She asked. “Yyou can totally do it! Do you wwant help?” If Sakura thought he could do it, then he could! Right, a challenge! If he could not roll his hips, then he would do one-thousand dances!

“Yes please! I cannot do it on my own.” Lee said. Sakura walked behind him, placed her hands on his hips, and swung them back and forth. Through the fabric of his jumpsuit, his skin tingled under her fingers. That is… weird. But... he did not mind her arms around him.

“Trry it a few timmes?” She let go and faced him, mirroring. “Then the ootherway, annd put it all together! Yyou did it!”

“That is really strange.” Lee signed, laughing. “What is this called?”

“A hhip roll.” Sakura said. “Wwhat do you thinnk? Iis it okay? There iss also the figure eight rroll.” 

Woah, uh... Lee stared as she put her whole body into it, adding a sway, turning her hips. ... he definitely could not do that. It did not seem like either of them should... Well, she could, just perhaps… not in front of anyone else. Oh gosh... he covered his face. Definitely not in public.

“Do yyou want to try?” Sakura asked, stopping to sign. What? Huh? Oh. Try that? No way, but...

“Uhh... I did not see that one in your book.”

“It wwas in a different one. I only brought this onne because of the picturess.” She said. “I asked Kakashi-sensei, and he was ssuper nice to bring themm! Oh, mmaybe we can use some inn our talking.” Yes! New topic! Perfect!

“Maybe we should!” Lee imagined them dancing at each other in the street to communicate. He giggled, “I know! Hip roll means, ‘we should leave,’ like ‘roll away.’” Sakura burst out laughing, doubling over.

‘Yes, yes!’ She signed, “Rroll away!” Her laugh was so cute! How could he make her laugh more? “Leee, we can’t roll! We’ll get all dirty!” Oh my, she thought-

“Hahahaha!” Lee burst out laughing, “No, I meant just leaving!” It was no use, she was on the ground holding her stomach. No way she saw his hands.

“Okay, okay,” Sakura caught her breath, sprawled out on her back, “I’mm stuck.” Stuck? We will see about that!

“Not to worry, I will save you!” Lee signed, grinning. Grabbing her hands, he braced to lift, but she yanked him down first. Wah!

“Got yyou!” She said, then sat up and straddled his hips, “Nnow you’re stuck.” Oh, she thought so, did she? Not so! He grinned and propped up on his elbows... 

Then again, being stuck like this was perhaps… fine... Soft hair draped down her shoulders, sparkling green eyes filled with mischief, cheeks rosy from laughing... So beautiful... an angel... Much like the first time he laid eyes on her. 

He was perhaps four or five, Dad had brought him home from the orphanage, and Lee was exploring the house, running up and down the stairs… then he looked out the back door, face plastered to the glass. Flowy, snow white dress against bubblegum pink hair, little Sakura was sitting in the grass, plucking tiny yellow flowers and stuffing them in a small basket. Right away, Lee dragged Dad over, before she went away, and pointed.

“Look Daddy! There’s a angel in our yard!” He hopped up and down, “Do we make a wish?” Dad laughed and kneeled down.

“That’s our new neighbor. Why don’t you go say hello?” Could he really? He could go talk to her? “Go on, don’t be shy.” Dad slid the door open and nudged him. Okay! Lee flew across the grass as fast as he could.

“Hi!” He said, grinding to a stop beside her, she looked up at him - 

“Leee?” Huh? Blinking, he shook his head, Sakura was still sitting on him, concern etched on her face. “I’mm ssorry,” She slid off, “I should llet you train, I didn’t mmean to waste sso much of your timme. Iif Guy-ssensei is aangry, you can blame mme.” Did he miss something?

“Being with you is never a waste of time!” He signed. 

Standing, he grabbed her hands and pulled, she stumbled, falling against him. Without thinking, he slid his hands around to the small of her back and held her. So soft and perfect ... Oh, uh... he stepped back. He should really tell her... 

“Ssorry.” Sakura said, starting towards her house. No wait! Think of something! He ran and tapped her shoulder.

“Would you like to help with the rest of my workout?” He asked. 

“Yyes, if I cann.” She signed. Yes! Lee was positive he was no longer a person, but instead a puddle. A very happy puddle.

“Hmm…” Lee said, what could she do? “I got it! You can study on my back! That way we are both training!”

“Onn your back? Wwon’t I be tooo heavy?”

“Nope!” He signed, of course not! 

“But -”

“I promise it will help!” He signed, “But do not feel obligated.” Lee dropped to the push-up position and patted his back. If Sakura did not want to, it was okay! 

“Ookay, I wwill get my book.” She went inside and returned with a text.

One, two, three, four- a weight climbed aboard and sprawled out, a book opened on his shoulders. Yes! This was perfect! Maybe he could convince her to stack a few more textbooks up there, but not yet. This was nice, like a bonus challenge! Okay! He would not allow Sakura to fall even once, but if he did, he would have to do two-thousand jump ropes! That is the challenge! Perhaps she would be willing to do this more often.

One thousand fifty seven, one thousand fifty eight, one thousand fifty nine, one thousand sixty! Lee switched hands. One - The book slid from his back, dropping onto the ground with a thunk. Leaves and Petals? That did not look like a textbook: soft cover, painted ocean waves along the bottom, sea spray splashed over the font…

Oh, did she need to go get it? Should he stop? She did not say anything… perhaps reading time was over. Sakura rolled onto her stomach, nuzzling his back, silky blush locks fell down his shoulder and brushed his cheek, carrying a faint scent of sugar. Long hair… he probably looked silly. Oh well, she would tell him if he needed to pause. Twenty two, twenty three, twenty four…twenty... 

Sakura snuggled his shoulder, breathing long, slow and steady, a quiet hum. Lee froze midway, did she fall asleep? How long ago? Should he check? But… how? Calling out certainly would not help, an alarm could go off next to her head and she would sleep through it. Twisting around, he caught more flashes of hair, unable to see her face. Should he keep going or try to wake her? With his free hand, Lee poked her arm.

“Nn…” She grumbled, graceful, slender body flush with his back, Lee tugged at his collar and swallowed. Deep breath, okay, focus, focus, he was supposed to be training. Right! Okay … …. What number was he on? Ummm... Warm, cherry scented breath ghosted his cheek, when did she - ? She was so close… a bead of sweat dripped onto the grass from his forehead.

Wha... ? Uhh, right, perhaps he should start over. Yes! A lot of pushups, so many push-ups, all of them. Yes, okay... One! Two! Three! Soft lips brushed the tiny hairs on his neck, giving rise to goosebumps. F-four... cool hands stole warmth from his shoulders through thin fabric. Five, how was she cold? He was hot... Six, if he could hold her, maybe - S-seven… hold her … seven...? The ache in his chest might… eight...? Ease... He switched hands, if he could… kiss her… ten? ...perfect lips … probably soft... and tell her - Wah! His hand slipped on the flat, slippery grass, but he caught himself. Careful, careful… That was close. Did she wake up?

Hands around his chest, she held him like a stuffed toy. He coughed, she - huh? Stuck, yes, Lee was ... was he sweaty? Did she notice? He showered earlier, but... Her breathing had not changed, still asleep, hopefully he did not stink... Sniffing his arm, it seemed okay. Right, two handed push ups were good too, and he would not count them, keep going until Sakura awoke. Yes, okay, the perfect plan!

“G... teea…” Sakura mumbed. Tea? Was she awake? “Mmm, straww...berry…iss yyou... fuzzzy.” What? Fuzzy strawberry? Was she… sleep talking? Lee could not - he burst out laughing, no do not wake Sakura! She was so perfect! Oh, this was the best workout ever! He snorted, careful, do not wiggle! How could he not love her? He had to tell her… 

“Need a hand there, Lee?” Dad asked. When did he get here? Sakura whined as he lifted her from his back. Aww… he wanted to hear more talking... “Or did I interrupt a youthful moment?” Dad winked as Lee stood and stretched, joints cracking in all the right places. How long had they been there?

“Um, n-no. Sakura was helping me train, and I guess she got tired.” Lee's face was hot. Actually most of him was hot. Probably from the workout.

“I see, well, come on in. Mebuki’s gone for the night, so why don’t you put Sakura in your bed while I fix us dinner?”

“Yes!” Lee carried Sakura piggyback and followed Dad into the house. Maybe his face would stay red permanently... 

What should he do? Sakura needed to know how he felt, but somehow he never got that far. Was it a sign? No, that could not be true! He headed up the stairs and down the hallway. Perhaps he should ask Dad.

Tossing back his blanket, Lee set her on the bed. Not a peep. She must be exhausted. Was she sleeping less because of his morning lunches? He hoped not… perhaps he could come home for lunch, then she would not need to have it ready so early. It would cut into his training, running back and forth, but not that much, plus they would have lunch together every day. Why did he not think of this sooner? It would not always be possible, but... 

Sakura rolled over, tunneling under his pillow. Was it too bright? He shut the curtains, submerging the room in an orange glow, and pulled his blanket up to her shoulder. Huh? A bruise peeked out from under her sleeve. Did she get hurt during training? Was it bad? He reached to check, but she pulled away, patting the bed. Was she looking for…?

“Lee…?” She said his name in a breathy whisper.

Now way he could leave now. Taking her hand, he sat on the mattress, then was yanked down. Wahh! She cuddled his arm to her chest. Well… dinner would take a while anyway, and he could talk to Dad later… Lee slipped under the blanket and laid beside her, keeping as far as his trapped arm would allow. How many times had they slept at each other’s houses when they were little? It was so different now for some reason. He yawned. Perhaps he could stay a bit... 

Lee jolted awake to darkness, a glow of green from his nightstand alarm clock. Huh? What time was it? Where - ? It was uncomfortably hot, he tried to sit up, but was held down; legs laced between his, arm across his chest, nuzzled against his neck, the familiar scent of candy. Sakura? A mere inches from his face, she was tucked under his blanket, sharing his pillow… Lee’s heart sped up. Soft, slight form shaped against the thin material of his jumpsuit, entangled... Stop it brain, think about something else! How could he? Firmly, he stared at the ceiling... 

Disobedient, his eyes strayed and his breath caught. Wow…awake she was beautiful, but asleep? Just... exquisite. A thick mane of blush, satin hair framed her smooth, pale face. Thick, dark lashes... plush, heart-shaped lips... Sakura shifted, hooking her leg around his waist, bare skin brushing his fingertips as her skirt slid up. He gulped, bwah... huh? She - umm… Get it together Lee… 

He took a deep breath. How could she still be sleeping? Tomorrow was the exams, it would not hurt for him to get extra rest too. Perhaps she would not mind... He rolled towards her slowly and held her. If cuddling was okay, then it would be a proper cuddle! Pressing closer, she snuggled his neck, sending a thrill down his spine and a drum to his heart. 

So perfect... he inhaled her sweet, fruity scent. He could lay there forever, bewitched by her beauty. Was this a dream? Holding her… it did not feel real. She was so close... if he leaned down, tilted her chin... he stroked her cheek. No, far too tempting. Instead he traced her arm down to the curve of her hip, outlined by his blanket. A gorgeous angel, sent down from heaven. Under the timid, panicky surface, Sakura was kind, affectionate, determined, smart, silly… More than getting stronger, more than being a taijutsu master, she made him want to be a better person. To push forward towards tomorrow, to transcend all odds, no matter what! Lee brushed his lips across her forehead. How was he supposed to fall asleep now?

“Lee?” Someone shook him, “Lee!”

“Sakura?” Lee’s mouth tasted cottony, like he forgot to brush his teeth. A green - orange blob? Eyes fuzzy… he blinked.

“Not quite! Guess again!”

“Dad!” Lee popped up and looked around, “Where is Sakura?”

“Sakura? She must’ve left during the night.” So she woke up, detangled them, crawled over him... Oh he never talked to Dad. Wait, exam day!

“Oh no! What time is it? Do we need to go?” What if they missed registration? It would be a whole six months before the next one!

“Settle down, there’s plenty of time. Now get ready, come down and have breakfast.”

“Yes!” He would talk to Dad over breakfast!

Showered, dressed, and ready, Lee raced down and sat in his chair in front of a bowl of his Dad’s special morning egg - rice recipe. He thanked him and dug in. Okay! Registration for the exams opened to teams this morning, they would have to leave to meet Neji and Tenten soon. 

Would Sakura be allowed to watch any of it? Was there going to be any fighting? He hoped so, he was itching to use his taijutsu against a new opponent! Perhaps she could watch… She only saw him practice. Right! Ask Dad for advice! He always had answers! How to approach this? Okay, today, he is team leader Dad!

“Sensei, I am in desperate need of your wisdom!”

“Huh? Is this about the exams?” Dad asked, taking another bite of rice, “No, wait, I think I know.”

“You do? Of course you do! Please help me!” Dad was amazing!

“This is about Sakura, isn’t it?” He said, grinning. 

“Yes!” He was exactly right! Wow! How did he know? Better take notes. “What should I do? Every time I see her my heart begs me to confess, but I cannot seem to find the words.”

“Well Lee, you’ve come to the right place! You see, the way to a person’s heart is easy. All you need is your rugged good looks, positive energy, and a big bouquet of flowers.” ...and a big bouquet of flowers. “Though, this is Sakura we’re talking about… You have nothing to worry about! She’s crazy about you.”

“Really? She is?” Lee said. When did this happen? How did he miss it?

“Of course she is!” Dad gave him a thumbs up. It must be true!

“Thank you so much! You always have the best advice, Sensei! I will ask Sakura to go out with me after the Chūnin exams!” Dad knew all along he loved Sakura!

“Such youthful spirit! Oh Lee, I am so proud of you!” Dad said, tears flowing freely. Lee went around the table and tackled him into a hug. “You and Sakura will make a wonderful couple!”

“Thank you, Dad!” Sakura was perfect.

Lee skipped all the way to the academy. Yes! The next phase: take the Chūnin exams! Genjutsu and ninjutsu were not the only path for a shinobi! He would show everyone, then ask Sakura to be his girlfriend! Halfway there, he slowed to a walk. The latter was more intimidating. Perhaps she thought of him as a brother rather than a boyfriend... They did grow up together, best friends since they were little. What if she refused for the sake of their friendship? No! Courage! No matter what, he would accept her answer, but he had to know, needed her to know. If he saw her before registration, he would ask her. Why wait? He waited long enough!

At the Academy, Neji and Tenten met him in the yard, but no Sakura. The crowd grew, filled with ninja from all over the continent. Sand, Sound, Grass, Leaf, and surely there were others. As bodies shuffled forward, Lee scanned the crowd, the doors opened, but still no Sakura. Aww, why not? Did she decide not to see him off because she was not allowed inside? 

Or perhaps Kakashi-sensei had her studying so hard she couldn’t come. He pictured her sitting over a little wooden desk, papers sprawled, pencil in hand with Kakashi-sensei behind her, an evil glint in his eye. Lee teared up, Dad’s rival could be so mean sometimes!

“Hey Lee, you need to keep better track of your girlfriend. This is the second time already!” Kiba’s voice interrupted the image, Team Eight shuffled over with Sakura in tow. She came! How did they find her before him? He searched everywhere!

Sakura avoided his gaze, eyes red and puffy. Was it because she needed help again? Every time they were around people, something like this happened. At this rate, she really would never leave her house again. Alright! After the exams, he would introduce her to more people! A challenge! If not, he would do five-thousand kick ups every day!

“Thank you for your help!” Lee said. 

“U-um, it’s really no trouble.” Hinata whispered.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. We’re going inside.” Kiba stomped off, Hinata followed. Shino stared at Lee for a moment longer, then left. Was he upset about something?

“Oh hey!” Tenten said. “I was wondering when she’d visit again. Don’t be such a stranger!” Tenten had not liked Sakura running away and was determined to make her less skittish, even yelling at Lee over it. What did he do wrong? He still did not know.

“We don’t have time for this.” Neji added, “Wrap this up and come inside. And don’t forget you wanted to keep a low profile.” He and Tenten headed towards the building.

“Good luck today, Leee. Please be saafe.” Sakura said, signing with a flick of her finger. She unclipped their lunchbox from her satchel and handed it to him, “I mmade extra, for yyour teammates.” He attached it to his weapon pouch.

“You are so thoughtful! Yes, I will do my best! Do not worry about me! I must go, but…” Lee signed.

He embraced her, she fit so well in his arms… if only they had a few extra minutes… Tucking a stray hair behind her ear, Lee kissed her forehead, a rosy tint spread across her face.

“Wait for me, okay?” Lee asked, she nodded. Afterwards then! He gave his most energetic thumbs up and biggest, shiniest grin. Yes! She smiled! Now he was sure to pass! He waved and followed his team into the building.


	12. Sakura: Shattering a Sapling

It was such a nice night. Stars glittered and winked against a clear, black veiled sky, moon hovering near full. Sakura tucked herself between a tree and a bush, trying to imagine the quiet hum: mosquitoes, crickets, frogs, forest critters... but for her, it was the scents which brought the world to life in the dark: sweet sap, damp and mossy wood, the shy touch of moon flowers carried by the ethereal shiver of a night chill... She sighed, toying with the button on her overalls. Was Lee feeling this too? 

Day five in the Forest of Death, a place teeming with danger… she hadn’t realized the exams would take so long. Maybe a day or two, but not five! Hopefully Lee was okay... No, he was definitely okay! This would be easy for him! Super easy. Not a problem... So why was she so worried? Waiting, hoping nothing bad happened, unable to do anything, no news… Sakura crossed her arms. How much longer was it going to take? Were there more tests after the five days?

Kakashi-sensei and Guy-sensei were overseeing their Genin teams during the exam, so she couldn’t ask them. Of course, both their teams would do well, since they had such amazing teachers! If she’d been allowed to go to school and graduate, who would’ve been her teacher? This is the year she would’ve graduated. Would she have been in there with Lee? Not likely… Graduates didn’t usually try to promote that fast, and even if she was, Lee would’ve probably had to babysit her. No, she wouldn’t do that to him. It didn’t matter, she was never going to be allowed, as useless as she was. Things were better this way... 

“Hey! I found her again! Go home!” A tall, young, spiky-haired Leaf patrol ninja dropped from above and approached. Oh no, not again! How did they keep finding her? Sakura bolted from her hiding spot, smacking into an older shinobi, a rough, dark mustache and a shaggy, brown mop of hair. He grasped her bandaged wrist, she bit her lip to keep from crying out.

“It isn’t safe out here.” He hauled her over his shoulder, she gave up. “This is Group Two, we picked up Bubblegum again, takin’ her off grounds, over.”

Rubbing her wrist, she sniffled, why won’t they leave her alone? All she wanted to do was wait for Lee, like he asked. He kissed her... on the head, but still... Leaf ninja patrolling the Forest kept chasing her away. Lee was probably undergoing some crazy survival test or something. Ugh, where was this guard taking her? Not too far hopefully, she didn’t want to walk all the way back. Where could she hide next time? In a tree maybe? Setting her on her feet, she did not squeak, he pointed towards the village, wagging his finger. Sakura folded her hands and tried to look chastised.

“Go home, it’s dangerous out here.” Mustache said, “We better not find you again, got that, Missy?” No clue, she nodded and smiled. What else was she supposed to do? He eyed her, frowning, “You’re going right back the second I leave, aren’tyou?” He paused. Smile and nod again? What did he want? His eye twitched, mouth turned down, tense... Was he angry? Was he going to hit her? 

“Group Two to all units, Bubblegum’s off grounds, but keep a sharp eye, over.” He… talked to his shirt. Another pause, side glance… Umm, smile and nod some more? Maybe? Please don’t be mad, Sakura stepped back. His hand came up, no wait! She braced for it, but he patted her head. Oh... 

“You must care about someone in there, huh? Is that why you’re so adamant? Don’t worry, death almost never happens, the protectors know what they’re doing. In fact, my little girl, Tenten’s in there right now, she’s about your age… if you promise to stay right here, I’ll let you stay, deal?” So many words… it was enough to make her dizzy.

He held out his hand, what did he want? Was she supposed to take it? Was he going to hit her this time? Sakura wanted to cry, what was he going to do? What did he say? It was too dark, and the mustache, and angry face and - she backed away, trembling, stop shaking… What should she do? Moving his hand to the side of her head, he touched her ear. She flinched, but nothing happened, his eyebrows shot up. He said something, then removed a small scroll from his vest pocket, scribbled, ripped off a piece and handed it to her.

Stay right here and we won’t bother you, deal? She nodded, he smiled and left, she dropped to her knees. Whew... deep breath… okay, staying outside the grounds was good too. Hopefully they left her alone now. It seemed okay...

Digging through her bag, she took out a box of matches, and spread a small, lime green cloth out on the grass. Time to get started! She opened a small, red leather book, Spells and Rituals for Protection, to a marked page and held it to her nose. Ugh, she should’ve brought a flashlight. Stupid... 

  * Big white candle - check.
  * Cinnamon incense - check.
  * A small mirror - check.
  * Pink rose petals - check.
  * A photo of your loved one - check!



Yanking the yellow ribbon from her hair, Sakura tied it around the candle, and centered it on the cloth. Okay, next encircle the candle with petals, then light it. Okay… and done! Hmm… then... She lit the incense and stuck it in the ground, then taped Lee’s photo to the back of the mirror, propping it up to reflect the fire. What’s next? Read aloud the following, repeat three times… Got it!

“Negativity away, darkness away! Banished by the light of the flame! The mirror doubles all it sees, keep him healthy, safe, and free, so blessed be.” Again!

Was she loud enough? Did it need to be loud? It couldn’t hurt, right? She checked the book. No, it couldn’t hurt. Good good. Leave candle and incense to burn out… Okay. Hopefully it did something? The photo of Lee flickered under the tiny firelight and she sighed. Rose tinted cheeks, toothy grin, he looked so happy… Sakura smiled, he loved having his picture taken, posing at a moment’s notice. The camera sure loved him back, he always looked good, so energetic and lively... she traced his cheek. Ugh, it hadn’t even been a week, and here she was acting like he’d been gone for years, pining like a…. Like someone who pined!

Still… she missed him. This was different from missions, but why? Technically, he wasn’t that far away. If this is how she acted now, how would it be when he went on longer missions? Or more dangerous ones? It was inevitable… he was about to be promoted to Chūnin... No, no, don’t think about that! Worry about it when it happens. She couldn’t handle that right now, this was scary enough! Agh, thinking about Lee made her head spin! She wanted to be around him all the time, but that wasn’t fair to him. What if she was too smothering? She felt like a woman obsessed. Was that normal? That wasn’t normal, right? What was wrong with her? … Should she tell Lee?

Sakura imagined it: They were sitting in their backyard, and she says… what? She’s obsessed with him and please don’t hate her? Lee was so sweet, he would probably say something like:

‘Do not worry, Sakura! It is okay!’ Then carry on with that incredible smile of his. 

Gosh he’s so sweet... patient, understanding, funny and totally gorgeous… Oh no... Blood rushed to her face, not good! She was pining! What should she do? Ignore it and hope it goes away? Lee didn’t need this! He had his dreams to look after! He didn’t have time to waste on her! Ohh, how frustrating! Poor Lee... Sakura buried her face in her hands. So stupid, she could cry! A hard poke on her arm - before she could scream, a hand was over her mouth. She froze, her throat constricted, a whimper? It was cold, pale, the scent of ice, a blue fingerless glove with a shiny metal plate. Oh, she knew that hand.

‘Kakashi-sensei?’ She signed. Ouch... her wrist... sign slowly, she tugged her sleeve down, maybe he wouldn’t notice. He walked around and crouched. Between the little fire and the moonlight, she could just make out his gestures.

‘Keep your guard up at all times.’

‘Yes, Sensei.’ Sakura nodded. Whoops. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘You, little one, are very loud,’ He signed, ‘and smelly.’ But she showered! With soap and everything! Sakura sniffed her clothes, she didn’t sm- he pointed at her incense stick… Oh. ‘So this is what those flowers were for. Interesting.'

‘I was trying to help Lee.’ She answered, thumb out on her palm, ‘Not that he needs it.’ Lee didn’t need her...

‘Well, a few visitors asked me about witches living out here, so nice work.’ Kakashi-sensei signed, ‘I know it’s hard, but try to make less noise, okay? And no more incense.’

‘Yes, Kakashi-sensei.’ She nodded. ‘I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.’ Maybe she could use cinnamon rolls instead. Cinnamon was cinnamon, right? Her wrist twinged and she resisted rubbing it, she should switch to talking or he would definitely notice. Maybe a transformation jutsu would be better...

‘What am I going to do with you?’ He signed. ‘Sometimes I think you would’ve been fine at the Academy, then something like this happens.’ No, she was too stupid for the Academy. Sitting back on his heels, he shrugged. Was he going to hang out with her? Maybe a little? Careful not to annoy him, or he’ll leave.

“Kakashi-sensei… do you think... I might’ve been your student? Like, a real one? Maybe?” She chanced asking, since he was so talkative, hopefully he didn’t leave. Sakura bit her lip.

‘I’m certain of it.’ He signed, touching his head. She smiled, but still… it didn’t matter. Why did he bother? ‘Have you finished your homework?’ If she had time to sit out here, she had time to study. Fortunately... 

“Yes, sensei.” She said. “And thank you for the extra books.” She didn’t bring any study materials, but she did have her favorite, Leaves and Petals. Kakashi-sensei hadn’t asked for it back yet.

‘If only my Genin were so studious.’ Kakashi-sensei signed. What was his real team like? Probably amazing, like Lee and his team, much more worthy of his time than she was. ‘So what happened here?’ He pointed at her wrist.

“Nothing!” She said, sticking it behind her back. Oh no, no, bad, no way she got away with that answer, “I fell, no big deal, I’m sorry! On the stairs. I mean down! I fell down the stairs.” Shut up, Sakura! That was awful... Did it even make sense? Was he mad?

‘I see.’ He signed. Was she in trouble? Did he want to practice and now they couldn’t? ‘Clean up and let’s go.’

“Yes, Kakashi-sensei!” Scrambling, she collected her things, stuffing them into her bag. “Do… do you want me to go home?” How mad was he?

‘I have something else in mind, but we might be breaking some rules.’ Kakashi-sensei signed, holding up a finger. ‘Come on.’ They were going someplace together?

Sakura ended up being carried piggyback, because apparently, she walked too loud too. It was from being tired, definitely, normally she was very sneaky, like a mouse. They leapt from branch to branch through giant, winding trees. Were they in the Death Forest? Ooh, he was so breaking the rules, those patrol ninja were not going to be happy, hopefully he wouldn’t get into trouble. Sakura looked for Genin, but he must’ve avoided them, she yawned and leaned onto his shoulder. Oh well, too sleepy... Movement caught her eye, and below an enormous, long, shiny creature with dozens of short, spiky legs clawed up a tree. She clutched Kakashi-sensei as beady, bug eyes watched them leap away. Creepy...

Reaching into her bag, she offered Kakashi-sensei a piece of hard cherry candy, but he turned it down. Maybe he didn’t like cherry, she should make a different kind next time. Maybe lemon? Lee liked the cherry ones. Oh, maybe Sakura should talk to Kakashi-sensei! He was super smart, and probably would know exactly what she should do. It was either him or Guy-sensei, and no way! He would totally tell Lee on her! Guy-sensei was great with secrets, unless they were meant to be kept from Lee, not that she blamed him. It was hard to deny Lee anything when he asked. A tall, round building emerged, a pillar of brick and yellowing tiles jutting from a sea of deep juniper and hickory. How late was it? She was all droopy.

“Sensei? Can I ask you something?” She whispered as they crept through a window amongst the tiers. He meandered down a narrow wooden hallway and nodded. “Lee is… ambitious, so… it wouldn’t be good to distract him, right?”

They spiraled upward, entering a circular room lit with sputtering fluorescent ceiling lights, one section, a panel of windows covered with wine red shades. Faded, cracked red couches lined the edges, worn indents on the seats. In the center, a large desk was littered with paper cups, plasticware, a coffee pot, and a microwave. Kakashi-sensei set her on the couch and beelined to the pot. Watching him fiddle with a bag and water jug, she curled up and yawned, the light nutty scent of fresh brewed coffee filled the air. He leaned against the desk.

‘Don’t you think that should be up to him?’ He signed. 

Behind him, steam rose off the glass pot, and the nearest windows began to fog. Should it be up to Lee? To let him decide if he wants to be distracted? No way he would, but yes and no? It was up to her too, right? Maybe? Outside, the night had turned to the dingy blue before daybreak. Had she stayed up all night?

“Yes,” she whispered. This place deserved whispers. “But he… I should leave him alone, right? Am I crazy, sensei?”

‘You’re not giving me much to work with, Sakura.’ He signed. ‘You’re worried you’re distracting Lee from his goals, and that somehow means you’re crazy… What are you asking me, exactly?’

“No.. I mean yes.” She said. “I mean… I think I like Lee, maybe too much... ” He poured dark amber liquid into a cup, stirred in some sugar, and shrugged.

‘Too much?’ He signed. The door swung open, Sakura tensed, but it was only Guy-sensei. ‘Let’s ask Guy.’

‘No, no, please no!’ Sakura signed, shaking her head, ignoring her wrist. Hopefully he was teasing.

Guy-sensei patted her head, speaking to Kakashi-sensei. Were the head pats code for ‘hello’? Lee didn’t get them like this, as far as she knew anyway. Or maybe they liked her hair. The door opened again, a tall man with black spiky hair and a beard, and a lady wrapped in red and white armor filed in. Sakura hid behind Guy-sensei, grabbing his hand. Who were they? Should she hide? Kakashi-sensei said it was against the rules; he wouldn’t want anyone seeing her, like at the hospital. Was there a closet? Or under the desk? Under a chair? She made for the desk, but Guy-sensei cut her off.

“You know, you’re not supposed to be in here,” He said. Sakura shook her head, he looked serious. He winked, “But I suppose we can make an exception, just this once!” Hopefully he wouldn’t tell Mom, Belle was covering, but still... 

‘Thank you,’ She signed, then reached into her purse, ‘Cherry candy?’ No way was she talking in front of the others, nevermind her hand.

“Thank you!” Guy-sensei took a piece and gestured for her to join him on the couch, Sakura took his arm again. Why did holding it make her feel better? No idea, but it did. He didn’t seem to mind. Hopefully. 

Kakashi-sensei plopped across from them on an ottoman. Beard-sensei and Lady-sensei joined the couch, coffees in hand. Sakura shrank into his side, maybe they wouldn’t see her. It must be late… sleepy... she yawned, drifting to the faint mumbling chatter.

A tap to her shoulder - Huh? She cracked her eyes open. Beard-sensei smiled and waved, crouched beside Kakashi-sensei. Was she in trouble?

‘This is A-S-U-M-A.’ Kakashi-sensei signed, ‘Say hello.’ Out loud? Sakura looked up at Guy-sensei. Did she have to? He nodded. How did he always know? But… As-um-ah? As-oo-mah? As-uh-ma? A-soom-a? She tried them all on her lips... Nope, no idea.

“I hear you like to read.” Asuma-sensei held up a small scroll. “Talk, and you can read this.”

Sakura was pretty sure he was trying to bribe her to talk, but what if she said his name wrong? Would he be angry? Would she embarrass Kakashi-sensei and Guy-sensei? But it was an order... They weren’t going to let this drop. Kakashi-sensei might get annoyed again and leave her here if she failed to do something so simple. Please, please don’t be mad... 

“Hello, A...As- …Asu…ma... Asuma-sensei?” She ducked under Guy-sensei’s arm. Was she supposed to say sensei? Was his name right? If he was mad, she didn’t want to know. Something was placed onto her lap. Why did she have a scroll now? Was this the bribe?

“She reminds meof Hinata a little. I bet they would get along.” Lady-sensei walked up behind Asuma-sensei, hand on her hip.

Did she know Mom? Was she going to tell on her? Maybe they were friends, Mom had a lot of Kunoichi friends. Sakura couldn’t breathe anymore. If Mom found out she was here, she would be in so much trouble! Trying not to cry, she clutched her wrist, shaking. No, no, please stop... She was embarrassing Kakashi-sensei and Guy-sensei! So stupid, she should’ve stayed home! What was she thinking? All she ever did was cause trouble. She buried her face in Guy-sensei’s vest.

“I am sorry… Please don’t tell…” She should’ve hid.

“Your kid needs to get out more.”

“Oh we know.”

Guy-sensei one arm hugged her and kissed her head. Making him deal with her… she didn’t deserve his kindness. The group faded to muted background rumbles. Hopefully Lee was okay. Of course he was, if he wasn’t, Guy-sensei wouldn’t be here. Huh? A tap on her head, Kakashi-sensei stuck the scroll up there. It rolled off, she caught it and put it back. Was she supposed to keep it balanced?

‘Read it.’ Kakashi-sensei signed, then walked away. Oh, she was so stupid, of course she was supposed to read it! Shogi Rules, Tips, and Tricks. Huh? What’s Shogi? … … Complicated. Shogi was complicated. The words blurred together, she yawned, and Guy-sensei was warm... 

Sakura awoke with a jolt, alone on the couch under a rough green blanket. The window blinds were open, bringing cozy, bright rays to the once cold and cheerless room. How long had she been asleep? Where did everyone go? Of course, they were probably busy with the exams. Burnt coffee hung in the air, and swatted at her to move. She folded the blanket and turned off the pot, a handwritten note stuck to the lid - Kakashi-sensei had stolen a blue marker from her bag.

Stay here. - Kakashi . 

Guy-sensei said she wasn’t supposed to be there, hopefully they didn’t get in trouble. Kakashi-sensei would somehow know the moment she opened the big door. Maybe she could - Sakura kneeled on the couch and checked the windows, another note:

Don’t even think about it - Kakashi.

Rude! He assumed she would try the window… he was right, but still. Sakura went to the door, orange paint peeling off, maybe…? Another note was stuck on the handle: 

Nope - Kakashi.

What if she had to pee? Did he expect her to go on the floor? She did not pout, she pressed her cheek to the hardwood and checked under the door. Maybe it was a bluff… he could’ve placed all these, then done nothing. Or maybe not. Would Kakashi-sensei go through the trouble, or would he think she would think he would? Hmm... She sat up and leaned back on her hands. Any other ways out? Oh, in the wall above the door was a white vent for circulation. What were the odds there was a note in there too? Probably like 100%, but it wouldn’t hurt to check, right?

‘Shadow clone jutsu.’ She signed.

Belle kneeled, boosting her to the vent. Just as she tugged, the door swung open. Wait, no! Belle poofed, Sakura grabbed the top, swinging towards the wall, ah! Hanging on with one hand as a man strolled in and fiddled with the coffee pot. Sakura slipped around the door and into the hall.

The hallway was vacant, a long stretch of pale blue lights and white, cracked walls, no bathroom door signs anywhere! Hopefully Kakashi-sensei wouldn’t be too angry… Oh, there’s a door, but no sign. Probably not a restroom, then. Maybe? Really, why weren’t there more signs? Down and down and down... Did Kakashi-sensei and Guy-sensei leave? Was the whole building empty? There didn’t seem to be anyone around. Where were they? Were there any Genin here?

She felt like an intruder, should she have stayed in the room? Maybe it was close to the exams? Turning a corner, a group of tall shadows appeared on the wall, maybe her teachers? No, they were medical ninja, dressed head to toe in white suits, face masks, red emblems on the pocket, waiting outside a huge, open doorway marked with the Leaf Village symbol, two staircases on either side leading up to two doors. An upper walkway?

“Hey you can’t be over here.” Spotted! Oh no!

“Get back in there with the others.” 

One ran up and grabbed her arm, dragging her towards a back staircase. Wait! Where were they taking her? Her heart pounded faster, her lungs constricted. Please no... She trembled, they all had masks! No, no...she could do this. Deep breaths, calm down, calm down.

“I am sorry, but I have severe hearing loss and cannot understand you.” She said. He dropped her arm and glared, Sakura flinched. Did they not understand? Did she say it wrong? Were they angry?

“Nevermind her, get over here.” Two more medical ninja arrived with a gurney. The one dropped her arm and joined them, panic filling their eyes.

“These kids are done, and one doesn’t look good.” 

They rushed into the room, pushing the gurney. Sakura leaned against the wall and froze. Did someone get hurt? Should she leave? She should leave. Go back to the room and wait for Kakashi-sensei like she was supposed to. What was she thinking leaving anyway? He was never going to talk to her again! But her feet wouldn’t listen, a shiver brushed her spine. Wha-? What happened? Why was she stuck? Tears forced their way out, she leaned against the wall and sank to the floor, trembling. Why? She was so stupid...

Inside the room, from her angle, small figures huddled in groups on a high walkway, bracing on a rail, staring down at something, devastation and anger written on their wide-eyed faces like they witnessed something horrific, something… tragic. The medical ninja returned, supporting a stretcher, in slow motion. Legs first, orange-striped deflated warmers, then green arms and torso, as still as stone. No, please no! Pale face a mess of bruises, blood soaking his left arm and leg like they were dipped in a vat, a mop of shiny black hair... he went blurry, the whole world out of focus. Lee! Hushed tones, they carried him away as if trudging through molasses. Lee! Why were they going so slow? Was he-? No, he couldn’t be! No, no, no… where were Guy-sensei? Wouldn’t he be with him? Her face was wet, but it felt distant, like someone else’s face.

“He might not make it, we need to hurry!”

The hall spun, Sakura clutched her head, taking fast, shallow breaths. They took Lee away. They took Lee - They… she had to run after them, but she was trapped, she couldn’t move! Move! Move! None of her worked, her body was missing, she was missing, what was happening? Her heart wrenched, a stabbing pain, she was useless, floating, dizzy, nothing was real, she wasn’t real, a painting, cracked and rotting... What happened to Lee? No! Lee! He must be -.

A boy with spiky black hair in blue camo locked eyes with her from the highrise, standing with his team, silver headband. She didn’t know him, but she pleaded with him to somehow communicate to her. Was Lee going to be okay? Barely moving, he shook his head. Suddenly, she was in her body again, awareness returned to her limbs, but she was numb. Lee was not okay. He was not okay. He was-. No! She couldn’t form the words, couldn’t process the thought of putting the two together. Sakura pushed herself up and ran.


	13. Lee: Unwavering in Anguish

Everything hurt. Lee floated in blackness, weightless, all he knew was pain from head to toe, but it felt dull, like a wall stood between him and his body. Except his left leg and arm, for some reason he couldn’t feel them at all. They were just gone. Why? … Oh right, he lost the fight. That Sand Village boy, Gaara, he was strong. Really strong. It was a good match, but… images flickered by - grains of sand, leaves of green, splotches of navy blue, orange, and white moving around him, then gone. 

He was in the blackness again. Pink petals? They surrounded him, hovering in the air, unmoving, as if attached to invisible threads. Lee reached out to touch one, but… his arms would not move, nothing would move. Was he in a photo? Noise filtered in and penetrated the black space like a radio trying to find the right frequency. A low hum of machinery, a steady beep beep beep, a slow drip, footsteps and whispers, the smell of sterile cleaners, antiseptics and steel, mixed with a spring breeze. The hospital? That made sense. Hospital. His eyes refused to open, heavy.

“He’s stable now, thank god.” A woman’s voice, low and soothing, “We’re managing the pain as best we can.” Could they not tell he was awake? He tried to talk, but nothing happened.

“What’s his prognosis?” Dad! Lee relaxed, his head was on something squishy. Was Sakura here? He had to ask her something, but what was it? Seeing her would help him remember. Hopefully she would appear soon.

“It’s a bit early to say for sure, but tentatively, he’ll be lucky to retain full use of those limbs again.” Lucky to.. ? That is not right. He would have his limbs back, they were just floating away for now. They would come back. “At this time, I’m comfortable saying he’ll need at least several months of physical therapy and pain management. I’ll set you up with a list of specialists.”

“Thank you doctor.” Dad's voice answered. Footsteps approached his bedside, and Lee felt a presence sit beside him, he tried to open his eyes, or speak, something, anything, to let him know he was okay, but nothing happened. A large, calloused hand settled on his head, petting him. That was nice. Still no Sakura.

“My boy… I’m so sorry.”

Dad? Why was he sorry? This was Lee’s doing. The fight was between him and Gaara, no one else. He made choices during the battle and had no regrets. He could handle the pain, the spikes stuck all throughout his body. Lee knew his muscles were stretched and torn. He could feel it. The second bloom of the Hidden Lotus... this damage was the expected outcome. They both knew that. He would recover and train harder than ever, if only to keep Dad from ever being sorry again. The next fight would be his, Lee was certain of it. If only he could talk, then he would tell him, let him know he was okay, and he was ready, he would always be ready.

Ready for what? Physical therapy and pain management, the lady had said. Whatever it took, he would do it, he would fight his way back, then fight some more! No matter what! It was what he knew, what he did. Always. 

His dreams, his goals… time would heal him, and it would be okay. A figure hovered, fussing with something beside his floating form. Pain died back and the blackness returned, pushing against the edges of his consciousness. Sounds, smells, and the body pains dissolved back into nothing, and Lee disappeared, back into the snapshot.

Lee awoke to the vague scent of fresh flowers, begonias? Sakura? He was on a twin, wooden framed bed beside an open window. Had it come in from outside? Tubes ran from his arm to plastic bags filled with amber and clear liquids, dark red mixed with clear where it disappeared into the inner, fleshy side of his elbow, covered in gauze and tape. He resisted the instinct to remove the foreign object penetrating his skin, how long had he been asleep? What day was it? His body felt heavy, especially his left side. His arm was wrapped in thick bandages in a sling, was his leg - ?

As he experimented with sitting up, pain swelled, like tiny needles coated every inch of skin and he gasped as his body seized, like all his muscles spasmed at the same time. He couldn’t move, stuck midway up from his pillow, one arm against his chest, another at his side, shaking from the effort of holding himself there, completely locked up. 

Do not panic, panic would make it worse. Lee waited, taking short, shallow breaths until it subsided and the pain dulled, like a bruise. That’s what he was, one big bruise. Take longer breaths, slowly pull air in, push it out, count, he focused on relaxing his muscles, tight and stiff. Deep breaths, focus, focus. In… out... One… two… three… four... Lee let the tension flow out of him, starting with his feet, relax, gentle… okay, now calves… thighs… torso.. Finally, he finished sitting up, that was… hard.

A pressure in his lower body forced Lee to crawl out of bed. It felt like hours before his bare, trembling feet contacted cold, gray speckled tile. Wrapping his free hand around the pole of bags, he leaned on it more than he probably should, and stepped towards the restroom across from his bed. He gripped the thin, cool aluminum, do not hold too tight. His leg and arm felt like they were filled with shreds of glass, and every step dug them deeper and deeper into his bones. Limping, he kept his weight on his right as much as possible, almost dragging his left, grunting from the effort.

The brass handle was right there in front of him, he just had to let go of the pole to reach for it. Ah! He gasped as another spasm stopped him in his tracks, do not fall! Somehow he knew he would not be getting back up. At least, not on his own. 

At some point Lee let his muscles tighten up again. Focus, focus, deep breaths. In, then back out... Relax... A little at a time, just like before. Something like going to the bathroom should not be this hard! Inching forward, he let his forehead touch the wood. Made it! He leaned against it, supporting himself, coolness relieving the heat in his brow, closing his eyes. Did he have a fever? If he opened the door now, he would fall for sure, right into the bathroom. What now? Deep breaths... Give it a moment, then he would be able to fully stand. Any minute.

“Lee! What are you doing out of bed?” A woman in white was at his side. He shook his head. Nothing. He was doing nothing. She wrapped an arm around his upper body, under his armpit, and opened the door, supporting most of his weight, nurses must be strong.

“I do not need help.” Lee was hot, head heavy, despite his protesting, he leaned on her, grateful he was not on the floor. “Please, I got this.” His mouth did not agree with his brain.

“I’ve seen it all before, poppet.” She soothed, guiding him inside, “I promise not to look, okay?” His vision blurred at the edges, pain spiking, pins and needles, he nodded, unable to muster the energy to argue.

“Th-thank you.”

He was glad when Adventure to the Bathroom was over. Lee still felt like a tomato, a steamed tomato, laying back in bed, exhausted. He drifted, sometimes people moved around him, fiddling with the machinery or tubes, poking him with more needles. Medicine? Would he recover faster now? Hopefully. His body felt so weird, both painful and not there much of the time. Dad visited, and talked with him, Shikamaru, Tenten, even Neji, but Lee never saw Sakura. Tears sprang to his eyes whenever he thought about it. Where was she? Did anyone tell her where he was? She would be there if she knew, right? It felt like he’d been there forever already. 

Lee would not be idle! Gathering his strength, he laid on the floor beside the bed, starting his one armed pushups. One… … Ah! Yes! Okay, now two… ... Why was this so hard? Pain spiked, he hissed and trembled, the tubes caught around his wrist, do not pull, or the whole thing will fall! Careful, careful, unwind... Okay. Three… ... He managed to get to eighty-three before collapsing onto the tile. Eighty-three. Next time, he would do one hundred, if he could not do that, then he would do one hundred sit ups! Sit ups… could he still do those? 

Moving the tubing over his head, he rolled onto his back, wincing. Ah! Ouch, okay, okay, deep breaths... His arm stung, as if pinched, maybe he leaned on it when he moved? It is okay, he could take a little pain. Now, sit up! One… Oh no… His muscles seized again and he fell backward, whacking his head against the floor, a ripple through his skull, down his back, to his toes. 

Ouch... No! Why would his body not listen to him! Why was everything so hard? He cried, salty tears wetting his ears, would he ever be able to move normally again? Of course he would! He just needed time, and practice, but… how much longer would he need? It felt like so long already... 

“Lee!” It was the nurse lady from before. “Can I get some help in here?” Two more came in, together they lifted him back into bed. Nurses sure were strong people. Did he think that once already? It felt familiar. “If you need to use the bathroom, please use the bell and one of us will come help you.” What bell? Oh, apparently a bell was on his headboard.

“Poppet, please don’t make us give you a catheter. We will if you don’t listen.” A what now? Lee did not want to know. “Did you need to go, or did you fall?” He shook his head. Bathroom Adventure was not necessary at this time. “Okay, but please use the bell. Lunch will arrive soon, okay?” Then they were gone. Lunch? Had he been eating this whole time? When did that happen?

They did not understand, he refused to stall his training over something like pain, he could take pain. What he could not endure was atrophy and bedsores. The mere thought of either of those sent him into a pit of despair he struggled to dig his way out of. He could not let Neji get farther and farther ahead of him, too much time passed already! 

Tenten and Dad had been training non-stop, focused on getting Neji prepared for the final battle. Dad said he was matched up against Naruto, it would surely be a fight worth watching! He just had to keep going forward, no matter what! 

Sakura would understand him, if she were here... A different kind of pain bloomed in his chest. Did she not want to see him? That could not be true, could it? Doubt in his friend ate away at him, unfamiliar and cold. He shoved it away. It was not true! Where was she? Something had to be wrong! Perhaps Dad would know. The door clicked open, what timing!

“How’re you feeling, Lee?” Dad asked, dwarfing the little wooden stool he pulled up to the bed, it must be for kids.

“Dad! Where is Sakura?” Lee asked.

“Sakura?” Dad asked, “Come to think of it, I haven’t seen her since the morning of the fights. I’d ask Kakashi, but he’s busy training his pupils for the final round, so it’s unlikely he’s seen her either.” Where could he have seen her that morning? He was at the exam all day.

“What? Dad, please find her! What if something happened? It is not like her to disappear.” Lee said, propping himself up on his pillow. “Did anyone tell her I was here?” The guilt on Dad’s face was answer enough. “How long has it been?”

“Since your fight?”

“Yes.”

“About three weeks, you’ve been unconscious for most of it. Lee, focus on your recovery, I’m certain she’s just fine. I spoke with Mebuki briefly yesterday, she would’ve mentioned if Sakura was missing.” 

“If you say so…”

He gave a thumbs up, but Lee, for the first time, was unconvinced. Being with Ms. Haruno was not always a good thing. Was she locked away in her room again? That seemed to be the most likely... but for three weeks? Was her window lock fixed?

Lee awoke to his dimly lit room, fluorescent beams flooding under the closed door. He must’ve fallen asleep… Oh, it was night time. Perfect! He gathered his strength, staff at night was thin, and he intended to take advantage. They did not want him training, but he made his own rules, he would follow his Ninja Way and press forward no matter what! Though, it was easier said than done... 

His bare foot contacted icy tile, awakening the pain in his leg like never before, the glass shards were angry, stabbing all at once. Lee hissed, but he would not be deterred! Switching legs, slow and steady, he hobbled and settled on the floor. He would do one-hundred push ups this time for sure! If he could not... no, he would! This time he would do it! One…two... three... the arm bound to his chest throbbed, why? He had not disturbed it, nonetheless it pulsed, but he grit his teeth. This pain was nothing! Twenty… twenty-one… twenty-two... 

He had to get stronger, if no one would look for Sakura, he would go himself! Something was wrong, he just knew it, she would have visited if she could. Lee would work all night if he had to! Yes, one-hundred! He did it! Barely… he lay trembling and shivering on the floor, sweat soaking through his thin hospital pajamas, panting. Why was this so hard? Why was this happening? He must not have been strong enough, the Hidden Lotus... he would recover, and be even better than before! He had to... 

“Lee!” Huh? A man hovered, shaggy black hair. When did he get in here? “Come on, kid, you need to stop doing this to yourself. All us nurses got your number, you’re high on the watch list.” No, wait! He was lifted back into bed, “Get some rest, kid, you’ll have plenty of time for this later.” No! Lee did not have time for sleep... 

Sunshine warmed his bed. Bright… he blinked. Wha- ? Lee’s eyes drooped, why was he so tired still? What day was it? He felt sore, like his body was trampled by a herd of Naruto’s. Shikamaru? He saw the shadow before the figure, and forced sleep to back off. Baring a fruit basket, his friend sat on the stool. Yes! He would ask Shikamaru about Sakura! It was all that kept his eyes open, if that did not work, then... 

“Have you seen Sakura anywhere?” Lee asked, “If not, would you please ask around for me?”

“Who?” Shikamaru asked, setting down the fruit. “I don’t know any Sakura.”

“She has long pink hair and green eyes, is your age, and usually carries around a notebook or little brown bag!” He said, speaking fast, but he could not help it. 

Shikamaru shook his head. Lee let himself hit the pillow, frustrated tears formed around his eyes again. No… how did no one know? Was Lee the only one who even cared? That could not be true, Dad and Kakashi-sensei cared.

“Everyone is busy training for the finals, myself included.” Shikamaru groaned and crossed his arms, “Ugh, how troublesome... Okay fine,… if it matters that much, who else knows her that I can talk to? Any of her other friends? Give me something.”

Lee bit his lip. Did Sakura have other friends? No, he did not believe so, at least, he could not think of any. She hung around Dad, Kakashi-sensei, and Lee, pretty much hiding from everyone else. Asking Shikamaru to try and find Ms. Haruno would be weird, and... possibly really bad. His team met Sakura a few times, but they were busy, and would not know how to find her. Tenten would worry, and maybe try, but... Wait… someone who could... They did not need to be friends.

“Kiba or Shino may be able to find her. They have before.” Hopefully they would help. Hinata could be in recovery still, and he did not want to bother her, but the other two... At least Akamaru might remember her scent.

“I’ll do what I can.” Shikamaru said.

“Thank you!” Lee answered, then fell back, allowing the blackness back in. He dreamed of rose petals and cinnamon, floating away. It had become a welcomed relief from his body pains. Maybe that was a danger... 

“Hey!” A rough voice jolted him awake. What? Who? People were hovering around his bed. Lee forced his eyes open to find two blurry blobs. He blinked, struggling to focus, that voice... “I told you last time was the last time! You’re lucky Shikamaru is so convincing.” He glowered, “This so didn’t count as training.”

“Woof!” Akamaru!

“Yeah, yeah, just tell him.” It was Shikamaru and Kiba! Lee was suddenly wide awake and sitting up. Tell him? They had news? Where was Sakura? Did they bring her?

“What happened?” Lee asked, voice hoarse. He tried to clear it, was there water nearby? He wanted to jump up and ask all his questions, but he had no energy. Hopefully they would tell him.

“We found your girlfriend, again. Seriously man, put her on a leash if you have to, or start paying me.” Kiba crossed his arms and frowned, Akamaru yipped in agreement. Lee pictured Sakura with a little collar and him trying to put a leash on… Nope, not doing that. It might give Ms. Haruno ideas. “We had a heck of a time- Anyway, she’s here now.”

“Where was she? Is she alright? Why did she not come sooner?” Lee had so many questions. His voice sounded a little better, maybe it just needed to wake up.

“She thought you were dead.” Shikamaru said, “She’s pretty messed up over it. Anyway, we figured we’d better warn you first.” Lee’s brain short circuited. What!? Dead? Like dead dead? Why would she think that? “We tried to tell her.”

“I found her at your house.” Kiba added, “She was in your room. Nice curtains, by the way. She’s still confused, I don’t think she knows why we dragged her here.” Sakura was in his room? The whole time? And Dad did not notice? Maybe he had not been home much. “Man, how do you deal with that chick all the time?”

“Thank you very much!” Lee said. He did not understand. Deal with Sakura? What was Kiba talking about? He would have to make this up to them. “Please let her in.”

“Alright, good luck.” Shikamaru and Kiba turned and walked out.

Kiba shoved a stumbling Sakura into the room, then left. Oh, Sakura! His heart stuttered at the sight. She wore black leggings and one of his button up black nightshirts, loose, making her appear smaller, almost ethereal, pale against the dark clothes, bag on her hip. Hair unbrushed, face red and splotchy, dark circles under her eyes, yet somehow still so beautiful. He watched her look around, confused, lost. He waited, and when her gaze landed on him, Sakura froze, hands hidden by sleeves flew to her face, muffling a gasp. He raised his good hand to try a weak wave.

Before he knew it, she was at his side, weeping, face buried against his shoulder. He missed her so much! The ache in his chest died back, a little bit at a time, noises resembling his name fell out between wet, heaving sobs. She clung to him, arms around his neck, avoiding his cast and sling, hands cradling his face, his hair, his arms, like she still did not believe he was real, like he would vanish beneath her fingertips. Letting himself be soothed by the coolness of her skin, he closed his eyes and hugged her as best he could with one arm.

She was so shocked to see him... Had she really not known? Seeing the truth on her face brought the other kind of pain back, right through his chest, and his own tears ran freely. How did no one tell her? Neither Dad nor Kakashi-sensei would have been around, but Ms. Haruno? Dad said she knew Lee was here, right? Why did she not tell Sakura? He held her as tight as he dared, he wanted to smother her with reassurances and hold her forever. Maybe he would.

“Leee, Leee, yoou… yoou’re… heere…” She choked, combing through his hair. “You... you’re rreal?” Her sobs faded, and she wiped her tears on his borrowed sleeve. 

Lee nodded. He was real, and he was alive, something he was suddenly grateful for. Thinking back, it had been close, if the sand had been higher... Gingerly, he sat up and patted the bed, Sakura climbed up, and he rested his head on her lap. He never wanted to move. Hovering, she pressed the fleece fabric against his cheek, drying his face with such a delicate touch, he almost cried again. 

“Nnot a dream?” She asked. He shook his head, not a dream.

She dreamed about him? Flowerless, frozen petals swam in his mind, he supposed he dreamed of her too. She hugged his head, pulling him against her chest, clinging. They were so close, Lee could hear her heartbeat slowing to a normal rate, matching his own, a shared, steady rhythm. 

“Iis this okay? I am not hhurting you, aam I?” She asked, petting his hair, this constant touching, it was nice.

“No,” Lee shook his head, letting her hold him, he swallowed and added, “Of course not.”

A light, floral scent of roses mixed with a fruity artificial cherry. Sakura… Lee sighed, at peace. The deep longing knot in his chest fully unclenched, and he could breathe normally again, inhaling her, feeling her. For the first time since he woke up in the hospital, he did not notice the aches, the stiffness, the pins and needles. Had his tension been from a lack of her? His body responded to her presence, turning to putty at a glance; he needed her like he needed air. She gazed at him with big, bright and puffy eyes, fluffy blush hair falling around them in a silky, messy curtain. Lee pushed a lock behind her ear, his breath was stolen. 

She was his fairytale, the girl of his dreams, his love. When had he fallen for her? Was there a moment or had it happened a little at a time? How he wished someone had told her he was here. If only... 

All his questions, every how, why, and when, died in his throat, none of it mattered anymore; she was here now, and she was okay. Delicate hands caressed his face, stroking his cheeks, and he leaned into the touch. She had such elegant, soft hands, so unlike his own scarred, calloused ones.

Lee could not help himself anymore, he tugged her down, hand behind her head. Sakura followed and their lips met, heat bloomed, spreading throughout his body. Drowning the hum and whine of the machines, heart rate climbed, pounding. He never felt anything like this before, intense and grounding at the same time. He stroked her smooth neck, eliciting a quiet mewl from her throat, fingers tingled \- gentle hands laced through his hair, nails brushing his scalp, her lips like velvet, tasting of her homemade cherry candy. 

One of her hands gripped his shoulder, kneading the sore muscle. Lee sighed and melted into his pillow, opening his eyes to gaze up at her, stunning emerald gems stared back. Sakura pulled away, looking every bit like his fantasy. He leaned up and kissed her again, a brief, sweet opportunity he could not pass by. He could kiss her forever. How many could they fit in a lifetime? Not enough.

“Patient is coding! Hurry!” Yelling outside his door. Huh? Wait, his heart monitor! His door burst open with a bang and three nurses ran in, pushing a machine on a cart. Sakura buried her face in her hands. He recognized the two dark-haired women, but not the bearded bald man. They stopped halfway in and gaped.

“Er, you okay, poppet?” Lee’s face burned and he nodded. “Well, alright, take that off before doing anything else, just make sure you put it back on.” He nodded again, pretty sure he was a tomato. Then they left, shutting the door. Sakura seemed to deflate, leaning against the wall. He nuzzled her stomach and closed his eyes, as long as she was here, everything was alright.


	14. Sakura: Migration of Butterflies

Sakura was never so happy to be so wrong. On the hospital bed, Lee dozed at her side, wrapped in cotton white pajamas, chest rising and falling, heart monitor flickering, a digital reminder he was alive. He was alive, he was real. The urge to touch him again was overwhelming, but she resisted. Touching might wake him up. Instead, she took comfort in his warm breath on her fingertips, slow and steady. Still breathing, still alive. Safe, this whole time... Relenting, she gave in and scooted closer. Warmth radiated from him, she flushed, but stayed put. He remained undisturbed.

Another ninja did this to him. Pitted against one another in single elimination rounds, fighting for a place in the finals... Sakura stroked his cheek. Lee was capable of unleashing extraordinary power, but at a steep price, utilizing techniques no average Shinobi would ever attempt. Crazy man… her crazy man. Had he opened any gates? If the fight was tough... 

How much of his pain was self inflicted? Pain… he was suffering more than he let on. Grinning through gritted teeth, tiny winces, tense muscles, shallow breaths... Willing himself forward, to overcome anything to become the ultimate taijutsu master. It terrified her. Losing him... she couldn’t go through that again.

For what felt like years, she waited in his room, hoping he would walk in, smile, and tell her it was all a nightmare. That he was alive. It was maddening, waiting and waiting... mourning. Thorns infected her heart, each beat pierced deeper and deeper, draining life from her body until she was empty. So she lay on his floor, wrapped in his blankets, wearing his clothes, staining his pillow with tears... 

Colors faded and vanished, the world dissolved to gray, drained of life. Nothing mattered anymore, no one mattered. A doll, that’s what she was. A puppet. A thing rather than a person. Time tick ticked, how long had she waited? Weeks apparently. Chores happened, but she hardly remembered traveling between homes. 

  
When the boys showed up, crouched in Lee’s window… She was sleeping. A little white dog sniffed her face, warm soggy tongue lapped at dried tears. Wolf and Peter Pan climbed in and her blood turned to ice.

She thought they might clear away Lee’s room, take away his shadows, his echoes, his images. Nothing made sense, she wanted to beg them to leave his things alone, but her voice wouldn’t work. Maybe they wanted her to go, to make her abandon his memory. Wolf seized her shoulders, shook her when she cried, yelling. 

It was no use, Sakura couldn’t understand them, she tried... When she ran, Peter Pan stopped her, taking control of her shadow, of her. A terrifying power, she’d been so helpless, bent to his will... almost as scary as the Sharingan. Calm, patient, but annoyed, he stopped Wolf and dragged her through the village to the hospital... To Lee. 

Lee… who was not dead. What a stupid mess she was. The heart monitor flickered, still alive.

Something brushed her side, rough and scratchy. Huh? Sand slid over her hand and curled around Lee in thick ribbons. Where did that come from? How was it moving? Sakura brushed it aside, but it returned, slithering along the sheets like it was alive. Who’s doing that? When did - ? 

A boy with garnet hair, sheet white skin, lips peeled back like an animal cornering its prey, pupiless green eyes wide and veiny. His hand was outstretched over the bed, fingers dancing with the tendrils. How did he get there? When? Why was he covering Lee in sand? Sitting up, Sakura waved her arms, he jumped, like he hadn’t noticed her.

“Hey, hey, stop that, please,” She said. What was she supposed to do? Where was her notebook? “What are you doing? No more sand, put it away.” Was jutsu was this? Was it dangerous? “Please?”

“Don’t interfere, or I’ll killyou.” Oh, he’s talking! Hurry, hurry, say something back! Stop him!

“I cannot understand what you are saying.” Sakura said. Maybe he would listen now? “Sir, please be careful - ”

A silent scream tore out of him, mouth stretched wide, larger than seemed possible. It was a scream, right? Or a yell? No idea, but what was she supposed to do? Yelling wouldn’t help! How did Lee not wake up? Trembling, she climbed over Lee and stood between them, holding out her notebook. If he would write down what he wanted, she would help. 

Instead of taking it, his hand twitched and clenched around air. What was he doing? Harsh and gritty, sand gripped her, roughly sliding over her flesh, snaking up her legs, squeezing, she gasped and dropped the paper. More curled around the bed, blanketing Lee. Was he going to kill him? Was this an enemy ninja? What village was he from? No headband, but his clothes were foreign, black and loose, scarves draped, a giant, uncorked gourd on his back. A desert ninja? Was he in the exams? Did he know Lee? It crept up her waist.

“Please stop!” She said, gasping as it squeezed, so much pressure, “Do whatever you want with me, just leave him alone! Please! I’ll do anything, what do you want?”

Desperate, she reached for Lee to do something, anything, and snagged the edge of his blanket. She tugged, but her limbs wouldn’t listen, trapped in place. Like a cobra, it wound around her body, sand yanked her arms down, pinned, and squeezed tighter. Glazed green eyes stared through her, manic grin, mouth moving, he clutched his head. Did he have a headache? Was he in pain? Did he come here for help? His lips, maybe if she really concentrated... 

“Whywould you sacrifice yourself for him?”

Okay, okay, it was a question. First word ... why, then ‘w - d’ …. wed? And you... Cr… f…? Huh? What could that possibly be? Something… your for? Or him? Doing something for… Lee? Or him? Why something you something your -? Agh! No idea! Keep him talking? Maybe she could still convince him to leave, or to write down what he wanted. If it was small, like a headache, she might be able to fix it.

“Well, uh, this person, his name is Lee, in case you were wondering-” The sand wrenched, forcing air from her lungs.

“Well?” Yeah, okay, got it, no more.

“Sorry, I do not understand.” She said, coughing. The edges of her vision blurred, chest tight... Were her words coming out right? “You can’t have him, okay? I’m sorry, he is taken, please... Do you need help?”

“Youcan help me.” He said, “Die, so I can feel alive.” Feel... Sandy needed a hug. That was all... It coiled tighter, she was going to faint... then it froze.

`````

Peter Pan and a blonde boy wearing a blue t-shirt ran in behind Sandy. A shadow stretched across the floor to Sandy’s feet, low rumbles of chatter, hostile vibrations biting into one another. Blondie bounded forward, throwing his fist into Sandy’s face, ready to tear Sandy open with his bare hands, face red, eyes blazing. 

Bits of sand crumbled and fell from Sandy’s face, a thin shield. Armor? Hopefully Blondie didn’t hurt his hand. Sweat dripped down Peter Pan’s head as he smirked, cocked his hip, and turned up his chin. A bluff? Could he not hold him very long? Sandy twisted around in jerky motions, turning his back on her, fighting his shadow.

Blondie’s big blue eyes grew as the rough, unintelligible sounds thickened and widened? The sand constricted, furious, Sakura’s legs gave out, held up by Sandy alone, something warm bubbled from her lips. Blood? Everything got all fuzzy… and… dizzy ... She took tiny, short breaths, droopy... Was she going to pass out? 

A standoff, Blondie and Peter Pan then Sandy, with her behind… Was she a hostage? No, don’t let him… use her.... Unless it helps Lee… bloodlust hung in the air, white turned to red. Sandy… he wasn’t… just... Lee… please... don’t wake up. Darkness crept in, forcing away the red, and the room faded, her insides were going to burst open... How… messy... gross… Sand flurried, a whoosh, rough outlines reared, no more... please... 

“Alright, that’s enough.” A new voice.

The tendrils collapsed, outstretched towards Peter Pan and Blondie. Sakura crumpled into a heap, gasping and coughing, air rushed into her lungs after what felt like hours, chest tight and bruised. Who...? Wha-? A large green blob stood in front of Sandy, a resilient opposing force. 

Guy-sensei? Yes, it was him! Thank goodness... he would fix everything, he could talk to Sandy, help him. Give him a hug. Time paused as Sandy loomed, sand retreating into his gourd, slithering in like a wild thing. Another beat, then he finally left, hunched over, clutching his head. Was he okay? Why did he attack in the first place? Her head swam, dizzy… the room itself seemed relieved, lighter, though it was still spinning. 

Not yet normal, her breathing sputtered and she dragged to her knees, leaning against Lee’s bed frame. A headache pounded in the back of her head and she wiped her mouth on her sleeve. So it was blood… Did he break any of her ribs? Maybe… If so, not much could be done about it. Six weeks of being careful, and right after her wrist started to feel better... Though, it was nothing compared to Lee.

‘Hello, Guy-sensei.’ Sakura signed, trembling, panting, waving. His eyes traced her, brows cocked, surprise? Confused? Why-?

Oh. She fiddled with her bag, face warm, she was wearing Lee’s shirt. In fact, she was probably a horrid mess, hair stuck up all over, bags under her eyes, clothes rumpled. Maybe the tile would swallow her up. She shouldn’t have drawn attention to herself, maybe they would ignore her. They seemed to be talking amongst themselves, so Sakura leaned against the side of the bed, unable to focus on any faces. It was fine, they weren’t talking to her anyway. She should check on Lee, to make sure Sandy hadn’t done any harm, but she would wait. If something was amiss, Guy-sensei would know already.

“Hey there, I’m Naruto Uzamaki!” Blondie said, walking up to her.

Did he want to talk? Ugh, after all that, did she have the energy? She sighed, exhausted. Why didn’t he just ignore her? Holding up his hand, Blondie started signing letters. Woah, hold on! How? What? Did Kakashi-sensei teach him? He was the kid from the picture, right? His student?

‘N-A-R-U-T-O. U-Z-A-M-A-K-I.’ He grinned, blue eyes sparkling, and pointed at her, then at his mouth, making a mouth with his hand. Talk? Repeat him? Sakura glanced at Guy-sensei, who gave her a curious look, then back to Blondie. What were the letters?

‘Again please? I am sorry.’ She signed, arcing her hand. Blondie looked to Guy-sensei, probably for a translation, then repeated the letters more slowly. “Nar… Nar-uto?” He nodded, a wide smile. No way she would attempt his last name. She pointed at herself, “Sakura. How?”

‘K-A-K-A-’ She cut him off.

“Kakashi-sensei?” He nodded. She was right! This was his student! He had an unforgettable face.

Oh... So Kakashi-sensei was teaching their sign language to others? Why? Why didn’t he say anything? Was she not supposed to know? 

Peter Pan and Guy-sensei were standing around like they were waiting... Oh, what if they had wanted to visit Lee and she was in the way? Maybe Naruto was trying to tell her to leave! She was being so rude right now! Grabbing her bag, she stuffed her notebook in and stood, unsteady. Ugh, how annoying. It didn’t matter.

“I am sorry, please excuse me.” She ducked and ran out, how could she be so thoughtless! She should’ve left right away, of course they wanted to visit Lee. Why else would they show up?

No one stopped her, thank goodness, Sakura leaned against the wall, sore all over. Maybe she should go to the waiting room? Or did Guy-sensei want her to go home? Someone grabbed her hand, she jumped, who-? Blo- Naruto pointed in the opposite direction. He wanted to go that way? 

He tugged her into a hospital room a few doors down from Lee, holding her hand as if Sakura would run away at the first opportunity. Maybe he was right. Was he a patient here too? He plopped onto the floor so she sat across from him, pulling her knees up. What did he want? She already talked too much, what if she said everything wrong? It took so much energy to communicate... Then again, this was someone new, who could use some of the alphabet, because of Kakashi-sensei. It would be reasonable to assume he intended for her to talk to Naruto at some point, right? Why else teach him?

‘I T-H-I-N-K-’ Sakura took out her notebook and slid it across the floor with a blue marker. This would be way faster, his hands were slow and she didn’t feel like practicing. Maybe another time, if Naruto wanted to. He grinned.

_I think I knew you. Shikamaru remembers you. Didn’t, but does now._ His handwriting was more like scribbles that happened to look like words. Maybe finger spelling would be better.

“ "Who is Shi-ka-maru?” She asked, unable to stop herself, then winced. Did she say the name right? Shaking her head, she covered her mouth, no, no more talking! Naruto didn’t look angry and he wasn’t laughing, so maybe it wasn’t wrong? He squinted, nose pinched, confused. Or maybe she did sound weird? Did she make any sense?

_ Shikamaru has ponytail. _Oh, the scary nice man with the shadow powers. _You were in our class._

She was? Sakura tried to remember class, it was so long ago now… Blond spiky hair bouncing around the classroom popped into her head. A loud, active boy playing pranks and getting into trouble... a little Shikamaru and Cheek Swirl tattoos in the back field… Lee was upset, reaching out to her… cranky teenagers… fire! BANG- Stop! 

The day everything went quiet... She covered her ears with both hands and nodded. Yes, he was her former classmate, they both were, once upon a time. She might have his name in an old notebook somewhere, paired with… a song? Happy... birthday… to you... S… Sas… Vague imprints of fractured notes teased the edges of her memory, out of reach. Agh! What was it? … It was gone... she let them go.

_Why you_ _leave? _More scribbles. Wasn’t it obvious? She pointed at her ears, then broke an invisible stick. _They made you quit?_ She nodded. _Aren’t you mad?_

She shook her head. Not anymore. No, there was no point. Mom was right, Sakura was wrong and Kakashi-sensei... did his best with what he had to work with... Why? Why bother? Maybe one day he’ll tell her. How many questions did Naruto have? Maybe she could ask a few.

“Why is Kakashi-sensei teaching you to sign?” She asked, signing. Was it okay? Did it come out right?

Naruto was the first person outside her family to use signs, as far as she knew. Lee, Guy-sensei, and Kakashi-sensei totally counted as family by now, right? Even if they didn’t think so, that was okay they didn’t have to. 

Why would he teach his kids to sign and not tell her? She could help, or something, maybe? Then again, she could barely talk ... He was right to keep it from her, she shouldn’t question him, sending him a silent apology. She should just be grateful he helped her at all, she was so unappreciative. Kakashi-sensei put up with so much... Sorry sensei… what a lousy kid he got stuck with. If not for Guy-sensei, he’d probably be long gone. She wouldn’t blame him...

_He said good teamwork and battleskill. _Naruto wrote, _Didn’t know about you til today._

Oh no, did that mean she shouldn't be talking to Naruto? Was Kakashi-sensei going to be mad? Maybe he was embarrassed by her, his pathetic, useless student who couldn’t talk right or understand a word anyone said. Maybe she should leave before they talked any more, in case he wouldn’t like it. She would never go against his wishes. If he found out, he might abandon her, no matter how hard she worked. Maybe he wouldn’t come back this time.

To her, Kakashi-sensei was like a secret friend, Mom didn’t even know... She remembered the first time he had brought her to the hospital, sneaking her in the window of a room behind the nurses’ station, tossing a fish on the operating table from a tank in the corner. When people came in, she had to wait in a closet until they left. She hadn’t asked why, and he never explained, but over time she got to know the closet pretty well. There were plenty of reasons he wouldn’t want anyone seeing them together. She was lucky he bothered to teach her in the first place.

Oh no, she should probably pay more attention to Naruto! That’s what people did when they were together, right? So rude, sitting there spacing out when he was trying to talk, was he angry? He wasn’t as scary as most people were, especially when no one else was around. Why not? Maybe he reminded her of Lee a little, all bubbly. Would Kakashi-sensei be okay with them talking? She still wasn’t sure, but maybe it was okay if she had Naruto’s permission?

“Naruto…” She gripped her bag, her hands were shaking. Deep breath, just ask him, if he said no, it was okay. “Can … would it be okay if we talk again sometime? Like friends?”

_Sure!_ He grinned, his writing got worse with speed. _I have to train for my match. Wanna come watch it?_

“I will try, if it is okay with Lee.” Sakura said. Naruto tilted his head, more scribbles. 

_Why you_ _ need Bushy Brow’s permission? _

She faltered. Huh? Why? Naruto was Lee’s friend, right? Maybe he wouldn’t want her hanging around him. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked to be his friend. Maybe Lee would be mad… She didn’t know if she could handle both Lee and Kakashi-sensei being angry. So stupid, why did she ask that? She was starting to regret all of this. She shouldn’t have followed him into his room. What was she thinking? Oh right, better answer his question.

“I… want it?” He nodded, seeming to accept that answer. 

_I got to go, talk more later. Gotta find Pervy Sage for more training._

Um, sure. Was that a person? Maybe it was a spice? No, ridiculous, of course not. She followed him into the hall and waved as he left, heading back to Lee’s room. At the door, she hesitated. What if Guy-sensei and Shikamaru were still visiting? It would be bad to interrupt, but she couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to Lee first. It was bad enough he thought she ditched him at the hospital for three whole weeks. 

Thinking he died… she was such an idiot. If she checked the hospital or tried to find Guy-sensei or asked someone... If Lee let her, she would never leave his side again. Sinking down to the floor beside the room, Sakura curled up.

What were they now? Did Lee want to be with her, or was he caught up in the moment? Three weeks was the longest they’d ever gone without at least seeing one another, even if only for a second to pass on his lunch or wave from the porch. Maybe he hadn’t thought it through, hadn’t considered his career and how being with someone like her would make things harder for him. Once he healed, he may not want her anymore, she would just get in his way... She had considered all that, but kissed him anyway. 

It had been nice... to be with him so freely, to touch him, to hold him, even if it wouldn’t last... No matter what, she would not keep him back. If he wanted her gone, she would go, no matter how painful… She loved him too much to do anything else. Oh, when had she fallen so hard? When did her love evolve from friendship to so much more?

The door flew open and Guy-sensei stepped out, spotted her, and gestured for her to follow. Half running to keep up, Sakura scurried after him. What’s going on? Was he sending her home? Opening an unoccupied room, he waved her inside and shut the door. Expression neutral, he leaned against it, watching her... She chewed her lip. Never in her life had she been afraid of him, even as a small child getting into trouble, being scolded with Lee... It was never fear. Now chills ran up her spine and she quivered in her sandals.

Before now, she never kissed his son. He must know she wasn’t good enough for Lee. He had to... More than anyone, he knew how useless she was. Lee deserved someone better. What would she do if he wanted her to leave him alone? If Guy-sensei thought it was best for Lee... of course she would go away. Were they even together? Maybe kissing him was a bad idea...

Normally so expressive, his face didn’t change. Sakura wanted so badly to avoid his eyes and count how many speckles were in the floor pattern, but if he signed, she had to be looking at him. Could he see her shaking or was it only her insides?

“Alright!” Guy-sensei signed, “Let me start by saying, I’ve been waiting for this day and it’s finally come! I cannot think of anything more youthful than true love!” Did this mean it was okay? Did he approve? Sakura wasn’t sure.

“I promise not to get in his way.” She said, hugging herself. Maybe if he knew, it would be okay, if Lee wanted her. “Is it ... okay?”

Strong arms scooped her up and crushed her against his chest. Ack, more squeezing! Too much! She coughed. Huh? A wet drop landed on her head, Guy-sensei was crying! Oh no, what happened? 

“I’m sorry, Guy-sensei!” Tugging her arms free, she hugged him. What did she say? He wiped her cheek, she cried too? Was he mad? No, it was okay to cry around him, he didn’t mind. Mom minded though... She dried his face on her sleeve. Well… Lee’s sleeve.

“After all theseyears, I would hate for you to doubt this now, but I willgo ahead and say it: I approve of your relationship with Lee.” He did? “Lee told me you thought he… and you were in his room… I apologize. I should have realized.”

“No, no, Guy-sensei, please. I am sorry, I was stupid... ” She said as he set her down, more relieved than anything, still… 

“You’re a smart kid, Sakura.” He signed. No, she wasn’t. Why would he lie? Guy-sensei wasn’t a liar, but... “And every bit as sane as me.”

“Sensei, are you sure it is okay…” Sane? Why mention that? Unless… “Wait, did Kakashi-sensei say anything to you?”

“Of course not!” He signed a little too quickly, giving her a grin. He totally did! Betrayed!

“But-”

“Now! I’ve got to head out, and Lee is waiting for you.” Oh... He was probably busy, she already took up a bunch of his time. “I’m counting on you to take care of him when I’m not here. I love you, be safe getting home.” He kissed the top of her head and was gone. Well… that could’ve been much worse.

Heading back to Lee’s room, she peeked in. He was on the floor doing one-handed push ups. That’s probably not great… Quietly, she tiptoed across the room and crawled next to him. No reaction, she could be sneaky sometimes, when she wanted to. Mouth moving to his count, he glanced at her and smiled without missing a beat. Should she stop him? No one explained his injuries or exactly how he got them, but he spent most of his time sleeping, being pumped with medicine, hiding his pain… He wouldn’t be working out if he wasn’t supposed to, right?

No, he definitely would. She promised not to distract him, but this didn’t count, since he was in recovery still. As soon as he was able, she would never prevent his training. Just this once though...

Kicking off her sandals, Sakura set aside her bag, then slid her leg between his, toeing his feet apart. For a split second, he hesitated, shooting her a curious look, then back to work. Up… down… up… steady… he was slower than usual. She could totally... she ducked under as he moved up, sliding under his arm. 

Arm straining, he didn’t come back down, sweat beaded on his forehead. Smiling, he stared at her. He had such an amazing smile, the kind that seduced even the grumpiest of people and made everyone around him happier, lighting up the whole world... Around his head, his silky black hair formed a halo, and she couldn’t help but think ‘angel.’ It would explain a lot. Sakura stuck her tongue out at him.

"Oh no, I cannot hold anylonger," With a dramatic sway, he fell, more graceful than she expected. Sakura laughed, wrapped her arms around him, and kissed him. The cast between them made for a difficult hurdle, but she didn’t care. He was minty, and sweaty, and all hers for as long as he’d let her stay.


	15. Lee: Seeds of Devotion

Lee was glad to no longer be an inpatient at the hospital, but he sure had to go back a lot. Between therapy, physicals, regular x-rays, and prescription refills, he got to know the staff really well. The nurse, Yua, who cared for him for much of his stay, waved as he checked in at the front desk. Sakura hovered several feet behind, why did she always do that? He would have to ask later. Leaning on a crutch, he limped down a corridor to the therapy room at the very end and headed in. Why did they make it so far from the door? By the time he got there, his leg ached...

Sliding to the floor, Sakura waved from the hall as he went inside. For some reason he was not permitted guests during the exercise portion, unless it was Dad. Hiroto was his therapist, a thin bald man with a thick, red beard. Lee liked him, he had a knack for making him comfortable, despite the circumstances. The exercises were unlike any he had ever done before, using a weird rubber band. It was so... minimal... He itched to do something more intense, one armed pull ups maybe? Or perhaps he could practice his kick-ups? Sparring would be a dream. Hiroto sighed and scratched his shiny head.

“Nope. You do that, you’re goin’ backwards.” Backwards? Lee did not want to go backward. “Take it easy, kid, this stuff takes time.”

“But-”

“You're recovering from being crushed and ripped apart, be happy you can move at all.” He said. He did not understand, Lee had to keep going forward, no matter what! It was in his blood! Well, sort of. Close enough!

“I must keep-” 

“You shinobi are all so stubborn... Okay, Casanova, let’s get your girlfriend in here. We’re done for now.” Yes! Sakura could come in! Hiroto went to the door and motioned for her. “How you put up with his stubbornness is beyond me.” Sakura just smiled and followed him. “Alright kid, lay down on the bed, gonna show your girl some new techniques.”

“Yes sir!” Lee said, As the pair moved around him, prodding his arm and leg in just the right places to loosen the tight muscles, he relaxed. Sakura was getting good at this!

“Right here, under the neck.” Hiroto lifted Lee’s head in his palms, fingers tracing the top of his spine. Why his neck? It was his arm and leg that were - Ooh, that was why. “Be gentle, remember, now you try.” Did he know Sakura could not hear him? She - woah her hands were freezing! Either way, she replicated the demonstrations well! “Alright, I’ll leave you kids to it. Don’t get up to any canoodling while I’m gone. And don’t forget, your dad could pop in any time, you hear?” Canoodling? What was canoodling? Such a strange word.

Carefully, after Hiroto left, he peeled down his jumpsuit, taking his time with his bad arm... Got it. Laying back down, he rolled over onto his chest and felt Sakura climb onto the bed. All of this - physical therapy, the pins and needles constantly stabbing his limbs, medications, lack of training, everyday things becoming such a chore - was so much more bearable because of her. It was nice Hiroto taught her how to massage his muscles, relieving his aches and tension without hurting him. And she was good at it, her hands were pure magic.

Weight on her knees, she straddled his waist in her bubblegum pink dress. Hands danced across his back and down his arms, working and willing his muscles to blissful elasticity. A hiss escaped his lips when she reached a sore spot, and he tensed up. Soft, chilly hands retreated, waiting. With more care, they returned, moving in small circular motions, less pressure. His body always felt more like jelly than bones after these sessions, but in a good way. She seemed to enjoy doing it too, always touching him when they were alone, like he would disappear if she let go for too long.

But… as much as he loved the attention… it was concerning, and left him unsettled. Every touch, every kiss, every glance… she treated each one as if it might be the last. Lee sensed it, the way she watched him, hesitating for silent permission, as if expecting him to pull away or tell her to leave. Did she think he would change his mind? That he was not serious about her? About them? He was almost afraid of the answer. 

Sakura’s self confidence had never been great, and she was anxious around most people, but he thought, around him, it was different. When they were alone, she seemed comfortable and calm, normal. And cuddly, he really liked the cuddly. After this, he would talk to her. Maybe he read it all wrong, maybe it was nothing, but… he had to be sure.

She sat up to start on his legs, but Lee flipped over, and took her hand, talk first. Legs after. A warm red glow spread across her face as she looked down at him. So beautiful... He dropped her hand and fluffed the pillow, propping himself up.

“Did you waant me to stop?” She asked, “Did I hurt you?”

“No, it felt great, thank you Sakura. I just want to take a break, talk for a minute.” He said. 

Just as he thought: fear flickered across her face, and she brought her hands to her chest, something she did to hide her shaking. Then it was gone, and Lee was looking at blushing, shy Sakura again. That is no good. Did she really think what he wanted was temporary?

“Suure,” She said, “Wwhat did you wwant to talk about?”

“I love you, Sakura, please be my girlfriend.” He signed, raising his thumb and end fingers, smiling. What he wanted was to commit to love her forever, now he would find out if she did too. Sakura looked surprised, he deflated. Was this so unexpected? “I swear to always protect you, for as long as you will have me.” He made this promise a long time ago, and now she knew.

Though at the moment his ability to do so was somewhat compromised, it was only a small hurdle in a lifetime. Soon enough, he would be fully recovered and ready to keep going to tomorrow! Each day he got stronger! He studied her face, a rainbow of subtle emotions filtered through, but he knew her. She would not yet give him a straight answer. It was okay! Lee would wait as long as it took.

“Lee… I wwant to say yyes, but... is it really okay? You have yyour dreamm, and I…” Sakura bit her lip. Lee did not understand. What did his goal have to do with anything? Was he missing something? “I promised I would nnot get in your way.”

Wait a minute, get in the way? She would not get in his way! If anything, Sakura motivated him to want to be stronger, but she thought... Okay! He needed to think through his response so he did not mess it up. What was the problem? Sakura wanted to be with him, but she was afraid she... what? Would stop him from training? He loved spending time with her, and they could train together! She had to know that by now, right? If he did not want to do something, he would not be doing it. It was simple. Was there something else? How could she get in the way?

“Sakura, I have known you my whole life, and I fell in love with you, Dad adores you. Any time we spend together is time well spent.” Lee said. “There will be times when I will not be able to be with you, this is not new.” Missions could be difficult, but it was the life of the shinobi. Perhaps one day she would be joining him.

“I am not ssure if I am strong enough... '' Sakura said.

Now Lee was confused. What did strength have to do with this? Did she want to train with him more? He really liked that idea. They should definitely train together more! Yes, that would be wonderful indeed. He pictured it: Going on runs together, sparring in the dojo, weapons training, pushups - If she wanted to lay on him during those, that would be... good... Yes, very good. They should do that all the time. She seemed to like naps… yes, that could work!

“Wwould you die for your dream? You nnearly did… I thought you did.” Huh? Nearly died? Oh, yeah, that was true, but-.

“As I would die for you, to protect you, should anything ever happen, in a heartbeat.” Lee said.

No hesitation, she had to know he would, but she shook her head. Tears splashed onto his bare stomach. Did he say the wrong thing? Did he misunderstand? What was wrong? Since they were little kids, he promised he would protect her. Nothing and no one would ever hurt her again as long as he was around. And Lee kept his promises!

“I knoww…” She whined, wiping her face, “But you would nnot live for me. Yyour life, nnot ours... It seems… your life means mmore to me than it does to you. It scares me, I have been… trying to find a wway to be okay wwith it, because I cannnot ask for it to be different.”

What should he say to that? Was it true? His life… Lee thought about his fight with Gaara. Had he been willing to go that far? He wanted to win, he did not want to die, though the life of a shinobi was forfeit in the name of the village. For the sake of others. Somehow this did not seem to be what she meant. Once upon a time, Sakura would have walked the path of a ninja herself. One day she still could. No, she referred to something else. What was it?

In the name of winning, of being the best, of proving the worthiness of taijutsu, Lee put his body through great strain. His most powerful techniques were also dangerous. The Hidden Lotus… the Eight Inner Gates… he would use them because they were how he would fulfill his dreams.

Could he live for her? What did that mean, exactly? What were these questions? Lee did not believe he could answer them. However, there was something far more important he needed to know.

“Do you love me?” Lee signed. “Sakura, are you in love with me?” 

If not, he would accept it. No matter how painful. For a moment, he held his breath. Tugging at her sleeves, she bit her lip, avoiding his eyes, an internal struggle across her face. What was going through her head right now? He would give anything to know, but he waited. Asking now would detract from his important question. She wiped away her tears and finally met his gaze.

“Yyes,” She said, “I love you, Lee. So much.” She said yes!

“Then please... let that be enough for right now.” This conversation would happen again. He would have it a thousand times if it meant he got to keep her. All he needed was to understand, then he would answer. “We will work out the rest as we go, I promise.”

“Alright, Leee.” She nodded, “It can wwait.”

Finally, after so many years, Sakura was his girlfriend, she loved him, she wanted to be with him! Tears escaped, cascading down his face. He was the luckiest guy in the world! Arm outstretched, Lee beckoned for a hug. She leaned down, brushing his hair, and touched her forehead to his. 

So beautiful... he tilted his head, placing feather light kisses on her nose and face. Sweet, soft, wonderful Sakura. His Sakura. It was real. Would his heart explode? It was so loud, could she hear it? His lips found hers, electricity and heat swelled through his veins. So soft... he kissed her like an addict, he never wanted to stop. Gentle fingertips traced his bare shoulders, his neck, stroking his skin, leaving pleasant tingles and goosebumps in their wake. Too far away... Sakura hovered, carefully avoided putting weight on him… No, he needed to feel her. Reaching down, he tugged her legs and she fell forward, a surprised squeak.

“Yyour arm - ”

“‘S okay,” He murmured against her lips. Petite body molded against him, legs astride his… Lee was in heaven. So perfect... breathtaking… her heartbeat pulsed on his chest, matching his. He ran his hand down and gripped her slight waist. Not enough... Her sweet, tender kisses, her delicate touches, her light, fruity scent. Fingers laced through his hair, a gentle massage on his head. Lee let himself drown. A knock on the door, then it swung open. Uh oh - 

“Lee!” Dad said as they broke apart. “Huh? That’s right kids, enjoy your youth to the fullest!” Sakura covered her red face and crawled off. Better get dressed.

“Yes!” Lee said, pulling out his notebook and Sakura held it as he wrote: Enjoy youth to the fullest. Truly words to live by! Dad was the wisest!

“I have more herbal medicine!” Dad held up a small, wicker basket, “Eat these and you’ll be back to full strength in no time!”

“Yes, Sensei!” Dad was the best! Picking up one of the round, bean-like cookies, Lee stuffed one into his mouth. Yech! They were bitter and chewy and weird, but he would eat them all! Anything to get back to training! “Thank you Dad! You are the best!”

“Of course, anything for my star pupil!” Dad signed, then ruffled his hair as he choked down another, “So Lee, are you ready for round three of the Chūnin exams? Neji versus Naruto is sure to be a thrilling, youthful battle!”

“Yes! I cannot wait!” If only he could fight too, but... Next time! For sure!

“Oh!” Sakura said, biting her lip. What was wrong? Was it something they said? “Umm, the exams…. Nar-Nnaruto asked if …Iif I could go too? Ssorry, I ssaid I would ask.”

“You have met Naruto?” Lee signed, grinning.

When did that happen? Not only did she make a friend, but she wanted to go out in public?! He wiped away tears. That was wonderful! What did Naruto say to prompt this? Perhaps others would help too! Alright! He would introduce Sakura to more people or he would eat one hundred medicine balls every day! Lee bit into another and shuddered. Blech, he better get started. 

“Yes, I am sorry, he waas signing aand notes, I did nnot get to ask first.” Sakura said, “Please don’t be mmad, I am sorry.” 

“Ask what?” What was she talking about? To the exam? They were going to go together! “Of course you can go too! Right Dad?” Wait, did she say Naruto signed? As in sign language?

“Yes!” Dad said, “Our first family outing with you two as a couple! You kids are making me cry again. Let’s head out!” Now? Oh! It must start soon! Sakura brought him his crutch.

“I am ready!” Lee said.

“Do you want your mmedicine first? They said to take it aafter... '' Sakura was at his side with a small white pill and paper cup of water. Oh right, they did...

“No.” He signed. At the moment, his arm and leg did not feel like a pincushion, thanks to the massages. The painkillers made him sleepy and weird, he did not like them.

“Ssorry.” Sakura said, putting it away. “Do you wwant the water?”

“No, thank you.” He signed, she disappeared and returned empty handed.

“Alright! Let’s go!” Dad said. They headed outside.

It was bright, a stark contrast to the dingy hospital lights. Alright! To the exam! Watching for dangerous holes and large rocks, Lee hobbled forward. He once caught the edge of his crutch on something and nearly toppled over. Both he and Sakura ended up on the ground when she tried to catch him. Diligence! Now he knew what to watch for. Better hurry, they were starting any minute! Right? Actually, he forgot to ask what time it started. 

Dad kept pace with his shuffling, Sakura following from behind. If only his balance was better, she could hold his arm, or his hand. He missed it... Her eyes darted around the street, like something would jump out at them. Sorry Sakura, one day he would be back to normal. Eventually. Ugh, walking across the village was taking forever with his limping!

“Dad, you and Sakura should go on ahead, I will catch up!” He was agonizingly slow. They would all be late because of him!

“Nonsense Lee!” Dad said, “We will arrive together, right Sakura?” Over his shoulder, he gave her a thumbs up, then winked. She smiled, returning the gesture.

“That did not count!” Lee said. She had no idea what he said! 

“Of course it counts!” Dad laughed, “Neither of us want to be there without you, Lee. Though I’m sure there’s some way… Hmm... I’ve got it! I’ll get us there in no time!”

Dad leaned down, and hoisted Lee onto his back, then gathered Sakura on his other side. Brilliant! He used to do that all the time when they were little! But... they were less little now, and could he hold on? Sakura pointed at Dad, signing question marks. Lee shrugged, if he let go to respond, he would fall!

“Hang on!” Dad did not run, more of a jog, but it was much faster than walking! Villagers gaped, pointing and whispering as they went by. No matter! With some of their training methods, Lee was used to it.

The Dome was near the edge of the village wall on the outskirts, well away from the main city. Though it was more of a stadium than a dome, resembling a massive wooden donut placed in the middle of the woods. The guards, Mr. Riichi and Mr. Tsuzumi, were as bewildered as the townspeople, but greeted them with smiles and waves. Dad set them near the entrance.

“What a surprise! Glad you could make it!” Mr. Riichi said.

“Hey, you brought Bubblegum!” Mr. Tsuzumi asked, pointing at Sakura, who hid behind Dad. Bubblegum? Huh? 

“So Lee, you’re the reason! Haha, we wondered about that. Anyway, go on in!” Reason?

“Are we too late? What have we missed?” Dad asked. Right, the fights!

“The only fight left is Gaara versus Sasuke. You missed most of them. It was the most amazing thing! That Naruto kid actually beat Neji!” What!? Seriously? No way! Neji lost? Way to go Naruto!

“That is something.” Lee said, smiling, adjusting his footing. Dad gave him a one-armed hug and kissed his head. He must think so too!

“Right! Let’s go!” Dad ushered them up the steps. “Sakura, come on, you too.”

Did Naruto show him? Did he do it? Neji put so much stake in fate and limitations, it was why he and Lee became rivals. The fact Lee graduated from the academy, his presence on the team, was affront to his beliefs. Over and over he tried to prove Neji wrong, but he was not strong enough. Perhaps Naruto showed Neji the truth: Life was not set in stone, and no invisible ceiling would stop a determined heart from reaching its goals. Willpower against destiny... If only they arrived sooner, but no matter! Maybe Naruto or Neji would tell him about it later.

So many stairs. Lee huffed, his leg throbbed as he dredged up the steps. Ignore it. Lean more on the crutch. Inside, rising seats surrounded a sunny, patchy dirt arena. Box seats high above were dedicated to their very own Hokage, and the Kazekage - leader of the Hidden Sand Village. People were packed in shoulder to shoulder, roaring at a deafening volume, outraged. What was going on? Dad chose a space near the top, standing in the aisle. There were so many people they would have to stand the whole time.

In the center ring, Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke appeared in a whoosh of wind and leaves. The crowd went nuts, rousing wild cheers, stomping and jumping up a pounding storm. Sakura whimpered and wobbled, grabbing Dad’s vest. Perhaps bringing her was a bad idea... Then again, what would he have said? Tell her she was not allowed? To go home? He cringed, well... he could have at least warned her about the crowd.

“She’s fine, Lee.” Dad said, giving her a one armed hug. “Just enjoy the match.” Okay, if he was sure...

The fighters lined up: Sasuke against Gaara, who he had failed to defeat... Naruto beat Neji, who he also could not defeat. How frustrating, being sidelined like this! Lee could not deal with this, this ... helplessness. Being so still, so unable to fight, it was such an awful feeling. His taijutsu was worth every bit as much as their talents. 

How could he be happy for Naruto, but upset at the same time? It did not seem fair! Pain burst across his knuckles as he squeezed his crutch, splitting delicate skin, blood soaked his cast. It was almost a release, but nothing like the thrill of a real match. To catch up, he would have to work that much harder, that much longer! And he would catch up to them, no matter what! A hand brushed his, he jerked away. Oh, it was Sakura, for some reason she was kneeling.

‘Are you okay?’ She signed. He nodded. Yes, fine, just... frustrated. ‘Can I help?’ He shook his head. No, there was no helping this. ‘Okay, sorry. Please let me know if you need anything?’ He would. She crawled up the step behind him, leaning on Dad’s leg. What was she doing?

“Why are you on the floor?” Lee signed.

‘There’s vibrating everywhere.’ She signed, grabbed her head, then spun her finger, ‘It is disorentating.’ Oh, that made sense... He was pretty sure.

“Hello Guy. Lee, how are you feeling?” Kakashi-sensei walked over, hands in his pockets.

“I am fine, thank you for asking.” He answered. Oh, it was starting!

“How did you end up bringing this one?” Kakashi-sensei asked, eye flickering to Sakura.

“Naruto invited her.” Dad answered, “Secretly teaching your students sign language, eh Kakashi? And here I thought you weren’t attached.” Kakashi-sensei ignored him. 

Oh, it started! Another clash of wills, a fight between the gifted, powerful Uchiha and the impenetrable Gaara. Lee was mesmerized. Sasuke honed his body enough to pull off the taijutsu techniques he copied from Lee, almost a mirror image. It was so strange, watching his moves being used by someone else. Even Kakashi-sensei admitted it. How should he feel about this? As the fighters clashed, attacking without mercy, Sasuke charged up his chakra, flashing blue light. Huh? Chirpchirpchirpchirp \- echoed all around the stadium. The Chidori, the Lightning Blade, a technique created by Kakashi-sensei. Amazing...

Ugh, do not be jealous! At the start of the exams, he schooled Sasuke, easily defeating him, telling him copying techniques was not enough, that one needed physical strength and stamina. Yet there he was, using taijutsu like a man of hard work, in mere months of training... 

Either Lee misjudged him, or underestimated him. Both were dangerous mistakes to make, one he would not make a second time. On the field, Gaara put up his shield, would Sasuke break through? He knew first hand how tough Gaara’s sand jutsu was. Under the roar of the crowd, his ears picked up a soft voice, repeating over and over.

“Please be okay, pleasebeokay, please be okay, three timmesthree, please beokay, everyonebe okay, pleaseplease...” Sakura was mumbling, hands clasped together, eyes locked on the fighters.

Was she watching the same thing? Sasuke charged, trying to take Gaara apart, a battle cry tearing from his throat. Three times three? What did that mean? Them? The invisible players, a third party in every battle, perhaps? Along with the crowd, he had been caught up, an eager spectator of the war between two desperate forces, eager to prove themselves. In the end, Sakura begged for their survival, not for victory or defeat. Did every battle have a watcher who’s only wish was for it all to be over? Was this what she had meant by her earlier questions? The value of his life... 

He could not suppress his own desire to be down there, to fight for his own values, his burning need to work hard and come out on top. Every single time, he would put her through this other type of pain. Sakura knew this, before he had even thought about it. Was this what she referred to?

Maybe a doctor really was the best thing for her. Lee could imagine her dressed in white, rushing to the aid of others in a battlefield, friend or foe. As far as he knew, she did not know Sasuke or Gaara. How opposite they were. Him bringing pain and her bringing medicine. Or cookies. Whichever. All this speculating was exhausting, he would just ask her later. Woah! A giant, fleshy claw emerged from the ball of sand surrounding Gaara. What was that? Feathers fell from the sky, fluffy... white… feathers... Soft? Lee reached up to touch one, but everything went black.


	16. Sakura: Isolating a Heartbeat

Huh? Raining feathers… a genjutsu?

‘Release!’ 

The feathers bounced off her clothes, deflected. Oh no, Lee! He reached out, then dropped, Sakura flung herself forward, breaking his fall. A sleeping jutsu? Around them, people flopped over, succumbing to the affect. Grabbing under his armpits, she dragged him out of the aisle, over a row of feet, stumbling on sandals. Should she wake him? Could she?

“Lee?” Sakura shook his shoulders, poked his nose, but nothing happened. Not even a twitch. 

That’s not right. What happened to the kids? Was the village under attack? What should she do? The hair on the back of her neck prickled, tension fell over the arena like a blanket, though the scent of body odor and footwear may have contributed. Blech.

Okay, Lee shouldn’t be lying like this. It was bad enough he refused to take his painkillers, his muscles would seize up again at this rate. Shoving a row of strangers into a heap, she cleared a space on the bench. Sorry... that’ll be awkward later. Heaving, she lifted his torso onto the bench, then grabbed his legs. Careful... Wow, she needed to exercise more. Why were his legs so… LEE! Leg weights? Really? Even little ones were - ugh, she should’ve known! Okay, he’s flat at least. When did he put those on? No way the therapist let him do that.

Where did his crutch go? Crawling, she peeked into the aisle. Oh… it slid down a few steps when he fell, next to Kakashi-sensei and Guy-sensei. A row of hooded, cloaked figures in Anbu masks faced them from the bottom of the stairs. Anbu! She ducked. Hopefully none of them were Mom or she was in big trouble. But Lee’s crutch... Slinking under the bench, she crawled down the steps, weaving around legs, around shoes... Stupid dress, getting caught around her knees. Stopping near Kakashi-sensei’s foot, she stuck her hand out, too far! Should she get closer? Without looking, he kicked it closer. Thank you! She retreated back to Lee.

Kneeling on the ground, Sakura put the crutch under his seat. Two shadows darkened the sky overhead, an outline of drawn kunai lunged at her. An aerial attack! It was the Anbu! Why? They were allies! Without turning, she threw herself over Lee and braced for pain. Nothing happened. Wha - Kakashi-sensei! He was perched on the backs of the seats, both Anbu unconscious and discarded.

‘Stay down.’ He signed. She nodded, and he leapt off, towards a new opponent.

Kunai and throwing stars shot overhead, Guy-sensei, Kakashi-sensei, and other Leaf ninja fought the cloaked figures in a full scale onslaught, fists and jutsu flying. Yikes! She covered Lee, glints of metal flashed in her peripheral. Why were they being attacked? What did they do? Kakashi-sensei was back on his perch.

‘Wake the other kids from the Genjutsu.’ He signed. Wake them? How? ‘Naruto and Shikamaru are at the top of the stairs, and another boy.’ But Lee - ‘Go now.’ Okay, going!

‘Yes, sensei.’ Sakura signed, standing up. An enemy leapt at them, but he fought him off, then more hand signs - a jutsu this time.

‘Summoning jutsu.’ Oh! A puppy appeared, wearing a navy vest. He’s so little! ‘Tell them to follow the dog, and go after … the examinees and bring them back here. That’s an order.’

‘Yes, sensei.’ An order? The examinees? Did they run away? Sakura bit her lip. No one seemed to bother the sleeping people, so Lee was probably fine. And he was with Kakashi-sensei and Guy-sensei. She kissed Lee’s cheek and crouched back down. Please be safe...

Sakura crawled up the stairs, staying close to the seats. If Mom saw her now, she would kill her, getting her dress all dirty, being here, talking with strangers… When she got home, she was getting locked away forever. So much was happening so fast! How was she going to wake the boys? Then tell them to follow the doggy who will chase the kids. Right? Okay, there they were, sprawled out at the top of the steps, like Kakashi-sensei said.

Now to wake them. … How did she do it? It was in the academy book on Genjutsu. Just kinda… freeze all their chakra for a second, or reverse it? She could do it on herself, could she do it on someone else? Naruto was on his front, bright orange jacket blinding against the dull gray path. Okay, deep breath, focus. Resting her hand on his back, she felt for his chakra. Woah! It was friendly, almost dancing under her palm, greeting her with a happy buzz.

‘Release.’ His nose twitched and he sat up. It worked! Oh, she was going to have to talk to him. Out loud.

“Hey Sakura, right? What’s going on?” Naruto said, looking around. Talk after the next kid. Beside him was a pale kid, she prodded his chakra. Find the network… she shivered. Weird. It was so... flat?

‘Release.’ He sat up, then smiled, as genuine as a plastic kunai.

Okay, Shikamaru next. Sakura crept over, and moved to poke his chakra, but his eye twitched. Not sleeping... The doggy walked over and bit his leg. Hey! Not nice! Shikamaru leapt up, shaking him off, eyes narrow, mouth wide. Shouting? Wait, they might hear - ! 

Movement whooshed at her back, an enemy ninja appeared behind Naruto, knife in hand, slashing down. In a flash, Guy-sensei slammed the shinobi through the cement wall, creating a path to the forest. Oh wow… right through the building! Knowing he had such tremendous strength and seeing him use it were totally different…

Kakashi-sensei appeared at the top of the steps and looked at each Genin in turn - Naruto, Shikamaru, Plastic, then his dark, lazy eye fell on her. Was he talking? Guy-sensei shook his head, mouth moving, frowning. Did they disagree on something? Naruto jumped up and down, pointing through the rubble. At the trees? Shikamaru rolled his narrow, pointed eyes, then glared at her. Sakura flinched. Did she do something wrong?

‘Sakura, go with them.’ Kakashi-sensei signed. ‘Consider it your first mission. Bring my student back here.’ Go with them?

‘Yes, sensei.’ His student. Right, okay. Who?

So... go with, follow the doggy, find the other boys, then bring them to Kakashi-sensei. Could she help do all that? She didn’t even know who most of these kids were, but... He said to go, so she would go.

Doggy jumped out, dragging Shikamaru, landing on the dirt path, and they followed. Okay, she could do this. They entered the woods beside the dome, the ground was soft and squishy, sinking under her feet. Then everyone froze, the dog walked backward over his footsteps. She copied, the others did the same, leaping into the trees. Were they being followed? Why else leave a false trail like that? Maybe. Following the doggy... 

They stopped again on a large high branch, she landed beside them and waited. Plastic, Naruto and Shikamaru talked as if she wasn’t there. Was something wrong? There were too many different faces to watch... Why did they seem so upset? Shikamaru... he was grumpy, annoyed....resigned? 

If they were being followed, they shouldn’t stop... unless they couldn’t outrun them... The dog jumped away, Naruto and Plastic after him. Shikamaru wasn’t coming? Wait, was he going to act as a decoy? Wasn’t that - He shoved her and pointed at the others. Okay, okay, going! Hopefully he knew what he was doing. Faster and faster, were they getting close? This was taking so long! Why would those kids run off in the first place? Was it because of the attack? Wouldn’t it have been better to stay with the Leaf Jonin?

A blob of black clothes and pale skin lay motionless on a branch ahead. Naruto dropped in front of him and deflected an attack from … Sandy? Oh my - ! What happened to Sandy? Deformed, twisted into half boy, half storybook nightmare. His face looked as if clay had been caked onto one side, creating an animal-like mask, a fleshy claw protruded where his arm once was. A tail too? 

Sakura landed beside the boy and Naruto. Kakashi-sensei’s student from the photos! It was the Sad One. Was he injured? No blood anywhere, but maybe internal? Should she check? Sandy attacked again, teeth bared, eyes filled with rage and hate. No! Don’t hurt him! Throwing herself at Sad One, Sakura seized him around the middle, knocking them from the branch. They hurled toward the ground. Oh no, what did she do? Sad One was squirming, vibrating, yelling? Stop it! Okay, she squeezed him tight, then -

‘Substitution jutsu.’ Poof!

They tumbled across the grass, a bundle of limbs, twigs, and leaves. Dizzy… She let go and they seperated, stopping finally. Stupid gravity.... A log dropped a few feet away. Whew... Ah! Sad One stopped moving! Did he pass out? Where were Plastic, Naruto, and ninja dog? Were they okay? Oh doggy was here! He tugged her skirt, yanking her to her feet. 

Okay, okay! Walking over to Sad One, she checked his injuries, Not too bad, some scrapes and bruises, so why was he unconscious? Grabbing under his armpits, she dragged him towards the Dome. Ugh... Really needed to exercise more, hopefully the others got away. Poor Sandy, what was happening to him? Were Naruto and Plastic okay? She was so useless… okay, focus on the mission, then go help. Doggy yanked on her again. Yes, yes, back to Kakashi-sensei! Going! Wait, this was stupid.

‘Shadow clone jutsu.’ Belle heaved, together they gathered him onto her back. Much better! Back to Sensei... It was going to be a long walk. Doggy tugged her dress again. Yes, okay already! Sad One stirred, then before she knew what happened, he kicked Belle, then twisted Sakura’s arm and shoved her against a tree, hands pinned over her head. Pain shot up her wrist, a flash of red in his eyes. The Sharingan? Then it was gone.

“Where’s Naruto? Who are you? Are you with the Sand?” Black eyes traced her form, she shivered, like being doused with ice.

“Sorry, but - ” Sakura started, but he jerked her arm and threw her to the ground, stalking off.

No, no, wait! Scrambling, she stood as Sad One collapsed, rolling onto his side, shaking. Oh no! He was unconscious again. This time she called her chakra, the familiar warmth flowed through her palms into his body, feeling for organ and muscle damage. No internal bleeding, nothing major... His chakra vibrated, wild and angry, like a swarm of wasps. Was that normal? That didn’t seem normal. 

Woah, these spots on his neck - a spike of hate lashed out, hissing. Okay, don’t touch that. Got it, no touch. It probably caused the passing out. A thick, ashy stink curled under her nose, she coughed… smoke... What was that? Cigarettes? Someone was here! She dragged Sad One to a tree trunk and rolled him onto his side, laying over him. Hide him… please work... 

‘Transform.’

If she did this right, they should be disguised as a prickle bush. Sad One’s breath warmed her face and she scrunched up her nose, he smelled like a sweaty sandwich. Okay, okay, no moving, no sound. Kakashi-sensei said moving always made sound, even if she couldn’t hear it, so no moving. Ugh, she was trembling. Did that make sound? Probably, but she couldn’t stop! Stop, stop, stop... 

A shadow, an outline of a large man spread across the forest floor, broad shouldered. Just one so far, at least. Could it be Guy-sensei? No, the hair was wrong and the clothes were too lumpy. Kakashi-sensei maybe? No, not him either, too wide and tall. Just stay put and wait, hopefully he would walk by.

Deep breaths… exhale, slow… relax and … sink. The earth sapped energy from her like a greedy, dry sponge, Sad One became a part of her, of the ground. Fade into the background… she didn’t exist anymore. Limp, eyes half open, arms loose, she no longer registered his figure, or her own body. They were a plant, a single object existing in a neutral space, inanimate. 

The wind blew, and a stray hair tickled her nose, but… it was too much energy to move. Numbness set in. She was a drawing maybe, or a sticker, flat on a page… It didn’t matter… she was gone, vanished deep within herself… descending… A large, tan hand jostled her shoulder, she flopped over, the vaguest sensation of falling, the weak scent of grass and dirt in her face, a beetle walked across her eyelid.

Two shadows, a smaller figure beside the first, hovered, then she floated up, Sad One pried from her arms. No wait… Sakura’s finger twitched. Give it back, her body, and Sad One, it was time to go back. Someone was stealing them away, that was probably not good. Come back… Awareness rushed back in, she jolted into herself. Someone carried her under their arm, strong grip around her waist, ground passing beneath her fingertips. 

Blood rushed to her dangling, limp limbs, hair hiding her face. She blinked. Where did Sad One go? Muted rumbles vibrated through her side, talking to the smaller person? Check the feet, Sakura… Most Leaf Ninja wore navy flood pants and matching footwear. Yes, he had those… must be friendly. If they weren’t, they would’ve attacked, right?

Wiggling, she pushed away from the large man and he dropped her. Ouch... Asuma-sensei stared down at her, startled, Sad One over his shoulder. Oh good, she knew this person sort of, from the Coffee Room. Kakashi-sensei knew him, that was good enough. Hopefully they had Naruto, Plastic, and Sandy too. Shikamaru frowned. Was he always frowning? Or was that how his face looked? Why were they both staring? Please stop… she shrank as they talked to one another. Was she in trouble?

“Issorry,” She sputtered, crawling backward.

Oh no, she said it wrong! Bad, it was so bad. She should leave before they get angry. Asuma-sensei stepped forward, she scrambled to her feet and tried to run, but Shikamaru gripped her shaking hand.

“I am sorry.” She said. He shook his head. 

“It’s not safe to walk back alone... Not that you understand a word I’m saying… Ugh, what a drag.” He tugged her after Asuma-sensei, but she should leave. Now that Sad One was safe, she didn’t belong here. Mom was going to wake up soon, the sun was getting lower. If she wasn’t home - 

“Please...” She begged. How pathetic.

Shikamaru stopped and scrutinized her. Stupid… He probably figured out how worthless she was without any extra help. That look… it reminded her of Kakashi-sensei, the way his eyes scanned, taking in every detail, every unseen thing, but Shikamaru was different, more like solving a puzzle or creating a map of the future. Holding up her hand, he dropped it, and shoved his in his pockets. Could she -? Was it okay? He stomped off. Did he know Kakashi-sensei? Nevermind. Bolting away from the Dome, through the training grounds, she avoided downtown, going the long way back to her house.

Sakura crawled in her bedroom window, tossed her sandals in the closet, and curled up on the floor with the blanket from her bed. She should probably change before Mom checked on her, or she was going to be in trouble. Then again, she deserved it. She should never have gone with them to the exam, it was against the rules. Naruto asked her to, but...

Hopefully Lee was okay... He was with Guy-sensei and Kakashi-sensei, and they wouldn’t let anything happen to him, unlike her. All she could do was run away all the time. Sad One seemed so upset she took him away... Kakashi-sensei told her to, right? He said to bring him back? Maybe that wasn’t the right person, maybe he meant someone else and she messed it up. 

Naruto and Plastic hadn’t stopped her, but they were busy with Sandy. Was Sandy supposed to come back too? It was so frustrating, she had no idea what was happening most of the time. Why did Shikamaru disappear, then reappear with Asuma-sensei? This was exactly why she should stay home, out of everyone’s way! 

Kakashi-sensei was probably so disappointed in her, for running away, maybe getting the wrong person, leaving Naruto and Plastic on their own... So much happened. Hopefully everyone was okay. Her door opened and Mom peered in. Oh no, she was still in her dirty dress! It didn’t matter if she got in trouble, she deserved it... Right now she wasn’t grounded from outside, so she could’ve been in the yard, but still. Mom stalked over and Sakura stood, leaving the blanket.

“Good morning.” She said, then braced herself.

Smack, a blow struck her face, knocking her over. Pain stung her cheek, down her neck. She said it wrong? No more talking, be quiet... Mom’s frown lines deepened as she yanked her to her feet. Stepping back, Mom scrutinized her from head to toe, then reached out, Sakura flinched, but when she pulled back, she held a leaf between her fingers. 

Wait - Oh no! Mom grabbed her wrist hard and twisted, a pop, not again! Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t - she dragged her down into the kitchen and shoved her to the floor. Stay down and maybe she won’t, Sakura went limp as Mom tossed a small, red box at her. What was- ? One packet fell out, Sakura shook her head until a foot came down, grinding her head into the tile. Oh no, she - they weren’t - ah! Pain... pressure… was her head going to split open? She didn’t mean to, she didn’t know...

“I’m sorry,” She said, sobbing as little white stars burst in her vision, “Lee’s… lunch…” The pressure was gone, Sakura tried to stop crying, but it wasn’t working! Jerked up, Mom dragged her towards the basement. No no no no, please no! Not again! She sobbed as the door flung open. Another whack, whack, this time to her bottom. Stop crying, stop crying!

The door gave way to descending cement stars, a narrow path to their damp, stuffy cellar. A shove sent her tumbling, knees and elbows scraping and catching on the steps. A sliver of light from the thin crack under the door remained, blocked by two shadows of retreating feet. The light winked out. Sakura folded into the corner, tears pouring, and gagged from the scent of mildew and decay. Cold seeped through the back of her shirt from the wall. How long did she have to stay down here this time? Mom was in uniform already… It didn’t matter, she deserved this. If she hadn’t left, hadn’t gotten dirty, gotten in the way, it wouldn’t have happened.

Goosebumps rose as something feathery and dry tickled her neck. A spider? Cobwebs? Sakura brushed at it, then felt around for the next stair, scooting up. Her skin crawled, itching all over as she curled up. Were there bugs all in her hair? Shaking her head, she bunched it up and shook it out. Stop, please go away! Avoiding the walls, she slid up higher. Her face and thighs throbbed, wrist ached. Should she heal them? Maybe the visible ones? It was too dark to tell.

It was maddening, not being able to see. Were her eyes open or closed? It all looked the same. Anyone or anything could appear, and she’d never know... don’t panic! Her chest tightened, she was breathing too fast... Lightheaded... Stop, stop, stop… Nothing was down here, just her! Nothing else! Not that she would hear… 

She hugged her knees. Mom put her down here to teach her a lesson: stay home, let others be the outside people. Yes, she was right, Sakura got in the way, did everything wrong. Lee was too nice to say no, to tell her to stay home, stay in her room. Those were the rules.

Kakashi-sensei saved her from the enemy ninja, she was so useless. No... this was worse, she was a burden, an extra thing others dealt with, a waste of space. Everyone would be better off if she were... Why did he teach her anything? She would never be good to anyone. Lee… he was so sweet, so caring. How unlucky he ended up with her as a friend, a neighbor, wasting so much time. How long had she been down here, crying like a baby? It felt like forever already. 

Sitting sideways on the step, she buried her face against her knees. Would Mom let her out before work? Or was she down here until tomorrow? Her stomach grumbled, gnawing and twisting. Right, she hadn’t eaten that day. It was fine, she didn’t deserve it... Legs started to numb…sleepy... Sakura jerked awake, catching herself before she fell. She was so empty... 

‘Shadow clone jutsu.’ Sakura wavered, Belle propped her up, holding her. Thank you… now she could sleep without falling...

A streak of white light struck her eyes, she winced. Belle? No, she was gone. Using a stair as a pillow, Sakura was sprawled out, head pounding. Mommy? It was morning! At the top of the stairs, Mom stood, dressed in her silk pajamas, arms beckoning. Hug? Not in trouble anymore? Apologizing over and over, Sakura crawled into her embrace. Mom held her, petting her hair, for what felt like an instant before she stuffed a note in her hand and left. Work was probably extra tiring last night. 

_Grounded. Stay in your room. No dinner._

Oh… still in trouble then. But, what about helping Lee? That wouldn’t count. Glancing back down the stairs, Sakura shivered. Laundry needed to be done… Maybe Belle would do it. 

Heading upstairs, she showered and changed into a set of cotton pajamas with pale green stripes, then wrapped her wrist. A little better... Could she go check on Lee and Guy-sensei? Mom usually fell asleep right away... Would they want her to? Maybe not, but she was worried, though there was nothing to be worried about. Oh, but… they would probably ask about her wrist, like Kakashi-sensei. Bruises she could heal, but... just in case.

‘Transform.’ Sakura concentrated, she would look identical, but without the bandages. Perfect! Belle could stay behind and watch for Mom, maybe do some studying or laundry. She nodded and gave a thumbs up from her bed.

Grabbing her bag, Sakura closed her bedroom door, slow and careful, then slipped out the back. Ignoring the cold concrete through her socks, she knocked on the glass of Guy-sensei’s back door. Lee sat at the table with a mug, swirls of steam disappearing, dressed in plaid green pj’s. Grabbing his crutch, he waved her in, and pulled her into a one-armed hug. Wet hair, damp from his morning shower, dripped on her cheek, the scent of cotton and citrus. The urge to stay in his arms forever was overwhelming. Why did she want to cry? It was like all the tension melted away, like she was at home.

“What happened? Why did you disappear? We were worried.” Lee signed when he pulled away.

“I am sorry Lee.” She made him worry! Such an idiot! Another thing she did wrong yesterday. “Mom... locked the door.” It was true, she locked a door.

“But you were not in your room.” He signed. How did he know? He wasn’t on the roof in his condition… was he? “Well, I am glad you are okay. There is more... Sakura, our Hokage… he did not survive the attack.” Lee signed.

What? No, it was impossible, he was - The look on his face... Their Hokage was gone. How could that happen? She sobbed with Lee. Guy-sensei appeared and enveloped them both, letting them cling to his uniform. Legs weak, Sakura sank, letting them hold her, a pile of warmth and comfort. Why were they attacked? Why their Hokage? Why did this happen? Guy-sensei pulled away and wiped his face on a tissue, passing the box around. She had so many questions, was she allowed to ask?

“Is Kakashi-sensei okay?” She asked. He had to be, he was him, but...

“Yes, he’s fine. He’s helping with the cleanup.” Guy-sensei signed. “Don’t you worry, all the kids are safe too.” How did he know she wanted to ask? “Now that I’m sure you’re alright, I’m helping out too.” They each got another hug and kiss. “I love you both. Stay here and take care of each other. I’ll be back tonight.”

“I love you too, Guy-sensei.” Sakura said.

“I love you Dad, please be safe.” Lee signed.

“You bet!” He gave them a thumbs up, his signature grin, then left out the back door. “Don’t you worry, everything will be just fine!”

On the day of the funeral, Sakura was not permitted to attend, so she wore her mourning clothes alone in her room. She set up a makeshift table out of books in the middle of her floor and added three, small tealight candles. Belle lit them and they sat together, side by side until the fires burned down, leaving only empty metal shells of smoke and cooling wax.


	17. Lee: Roots of Suspicion

Sick of stumbling, Lee plopped at his kitchen table and sighed. This crutch was both his friend and enemy. It was early morning, and Sakura placed a bowl in front of him. Another day, and no morning run. He sighed again and watched her move around the kitchen like she was there every day, putting away washed dishes and wiping down counters. When he finished breakfast, she took that away and washed it too. 

Did she always do this? Often his chores were done before he could do them, but all this time he thought Dad wanted him to focus on training. Did he know? Or did he think Lee did them still? Between Ms. Haruno’s task lists, his chores, making lunches, and studying, when did she find time to train with Kakashi-sensei?

A shadow clone appeared then headed downstairs as Sakura started sweeping. The basement? Was she doing their laundry too? Clone Sakura returned with a wicker basket, dropped it with a clack, then smiled at him.

‘You’re cute.’ She signed. Huh? Cute? Was it weird for the clone to think so? Did that mean Sakura did too?

‘Stop that! Go do the thing! Please?’ Sakura signed, then shoved her clone out the back door. “Ssorry Lee. I amm... just ... be rright back.”

“It is okay, Sakura.” Why was she so flustered? Nodding, she ran upstairs with the basket on her hip. Laundry… that meant she washed his boxers…

Lee grabbed his crutch. While she was busy, he would sneak in some exercise! A little would not hurt! Pulling open the glass door, he limped outside and dropped the crutch on the grass. Now for the hard part... The pain in his arm and leg was at a bearable sting, right side sore and overworked, but what else could he do? Okay, carefully lean forward... wah! He caught himself on his good hand, the impact rippled down his back. 

Ouch, ugh, okay... he made it, he was in position. His right side would have to deal with it for a while longer. Now for his one-handed push ups. Okay! If he could not do three hundred push-ups, he would do five hundred pull-ups! One…. Two… Three… Four… This was working! Yes! He must get stronger and stronger!

Tingles raced down his damaged limbs, specs of pain bit into his bones. Perhaps holding them up made it worse. Slowly Lee lowered his foot until his toe touched the ground, careful… It was fine. Okay, now the arm. Fingers brushed plush grass, then the palm... Okay, just... do not put any weight on them. He must be diligent!

One hundred fifty-one… One hundred fifty-two... One hundred fifty three... Breathing hard, sweat dripped off his forehead and down his back. Ah! Stabbing pain raced through his arm and shot up his shoulder. Lee dropped and got a mouthful of lawn. 

What did he do wrong? He avoided all the worst spots, used only his right side, so why? Pleh! The yard did not taste good… taking his time, he rolled onto his back. A cloudless blue sky greeted him, a group of birds flew by as he caught his breath. One hundred fifty three… about half the amount he wanted. How did it go wrong so fast? How much longer will he have to be like this?

Grass rustled near his head and Sakura kneeled, eyes filled with concern. Was she going to tell on him? Dad would not be happy if he found out, he was not yet cleared for this. She lifted his head onto her lap and combed her fingers through his hair. Mmm… this was nice. Lee nuzzled her and closed his eyes, she smelled like sugar cookies and warm vanilla. 

Petal soft kisses landed on his cheeks, then the corner of his mouth and Sakura giggled. Was she teasing him? Suppressing a grin, he tried to predict where she would go next. Little pecks covered his face, the tip of his nose, his temple, even his eyebrows. He wanted a proper kiss! Okay, this time when she came back, he turned and captured victory, made sweeter by her smile. Lee opened his eyes, so beautiful... he parted his lips, perhaps… she squeaked and pulled away. Where was she going?

“I wwas wondering iif you liked to sswim.” Swimming? Lee did not often swim for fun, but he was not against it. “One of the mmedicals books said waater therapy is really good for mmuscles, and it’s llow impact. Do you wwant to try?” Sakura was the best, always thinking of him. She helped him up.

“Yes! Will you come too?” He signed. She nodded. Double yes! “Let us get ready and meet out front.”

“Do you need aany help?”

“No, but thank you!”

He went inside, left a note for Dad on the kitchen table, then wandered into the living room. Many of his clothes were moved downstairs so he did not have to go up and down to change. Rummaging, he found his black swim trunks, a pink lotus stamped on the leg. Over those, green sweats and a matching t-shirt. Perfect! 

Tucking his jumpsuit under his arm, he headed out on the street and watched Sakura fiddle with her top window. It dropped and she stuck her arms through, flailing when her backpack caught on the frame. Oh, was she stuck? Lee hid his smile, smothering a laugh. She tried to reach the ledge, but wasn’t out far enough. Sakura was too perfect! Should he go help? She summoned a clone, who tugged until she dislodged and pitched forward, cartwheeling onto her feet. Nice recovery!

“Glad you made it!” He teased.

“Yyes, the windoww was - ” She caught his grin, blushed, and stuck her tongue out. “It wwas stuck!”

“Right, the window was stuck. Not the Sakura.” Lee signed, laughing. 

“Exactly!” She pouted, but could not hide the giggles behind her hand. “Sso, where do wwe go?”

“How much time do you have?”

“Mom leaves tonight aand should be gone until tommorrow.” Sakura said. “She wwill not expect to see me until then, I aam still grounded.” Yes! Even better!

It took some time to get across town to this training field. A beautiful secluded pond at the base of a short cliff, draining from the village river, tucked at the far corner. They pushed through thick, overgrown shrubs squashed around tree trunks and hearty weeds into a clearing of luscious ground ivy. 

Oleanders and pink carnations gave wide berth to overgrown cattails and milkweed along a pool sized lake, darkened by the canopy. Running water gurgled down the fall, frogs croaked, and wind shushed the tall grass. Lee hobbled to the edge of the basin, shimmied out of his pants, and tossed his shirt aside, sticking his feet in. White pebbles lined the bottom, tiny fish scrambled away from his toes. Sakura dropped her bag, staring, face flushed. Was she hot? It was a little warm, but mild, so why - ? Gripping her sundress, she pulled it over her head, now Lee felt hot. Watermelon pink with green stripes and black dots, a thick band around her top and short ruffled skirt around her waist.

“Uh, it is aan old suit, sso it’s a little smmall.” She said, sitting next to him. “Wow, cold!” She yanked her feet out.

“A little.”

He hopped in, ducking beneath the calm surface and dove down. Wow this was nice, the gentle pressure on his muscles was almost like a massage. He tested his limbs with cautious optimism, stretching out, gliding through the water. 

Weightless, his pain reduced to a dull background ache, relief. Freedom, freedom of movement, how he missed it! Through the water, Lee peered at the blurry pink and green blob perched on the bank, then popped up, shaking droplets from his hair. He waved her in, but she shook her head. Aww, but she said she was going to swim with him.

“Sakura, it is not cold anymore. Come on, please?” He signed. She bit her lip and stuck her legs in.

“I donnn’t know hhow...” She said, “It is … deeper thaan I expected.” Oh. Lee swam over, thinking back, it was possible she never went swimming before. They used to play around with sprinklers or kiddie pools, but that was it.

“Come in, I will show you.” Lee signed, giving her a thumbs up. “I am a strong swimmer, you are safe with me!” It was true, when Dad brought him out on the boat to practice Seasickness Fist, they fell into the rapids many times. “It is important to not be afraid.” He held out his hand. “I promise.”

“Ookay.” Sakura said, taking his hand. 

Yes! She trusted him! Alright! He would not fail! When she hopped down, they both went under. Lee pulled her to the surface, she clung to him, hair plastered down, eyes wide and fearful. Why was she so scared? Fear was the number one enemy to progress, according to Dad.

“Sakura, I promise it is safe, I am right here with you.” He said, “First thing, learn to float! Do you want to try it?” She nodded.

“Ookay.”

Guiding her through floating was easy, she kept firm hold of the side, getting used to the feeling, while Lee swam freely. A challenge would be nice right now, to push and push his limits. How many laps could he do? How many dives? But… if something happened, he wanted to be ready if Sakura needed him. He dove down, how long could he hold his breath? Yes, it was perfect! A challenge that did not require his muscles to work! 

Reaching the bottom, he touched the smooth, round stones, scaring a school of multi-colored fish. Oh, pretty! A colony of large, orange snails glided over algae. Could he show Sakura? Probably not, she would not come down this far. How long had passed? Oh no, he forgot to count! Well… next time for sure! As he swam back up, a blurry figure stared down on her hands and knees. Sakura? Oh she looked worried. Was he gone that long? Wait a second! Breaking the surface, he took a deep breath, she sat back on her heels and wiped her eyes. Whoops...

“Sorry, I did not mean to scare you.” Lee signed. “When did you learn to do that?”

“Ssorry, I - Oh, uh… I rread about it.” She answered, “I nnever tried it before today. Kakashi-ssensei gives me llots of books.” That was so cool!

“Your chakra control must be amazing!” Lee said, signing, “Can you teach me? I have not yet mastered the water walking technique!”

“Rreally? Ssure, I can try.” Sakura said. Perfect! His previous attempts were… unfortunate.

“Swimming first!” She still looked scared. Hmm…“I will stay right here the whole time, take my hands and kick your legs.” 

“Ookay.” She said, and dropped into the water. 

Lee tugged them away from the edge, Sakura kicked, trying to keep up. So far so good, he straightened his arms out, a bit more distance... Okay, she seems to have the hang of things. A little more... okay! They were as far apart as they could get without letting go. She was doing great, he was not helping anymore. Lee opened his hands and she dropped straight down. Huh? He dove and dragged her up, coughing. Why…? Should they try again?

“I aam sorry, Leee.” She said, taking his hand again. “I do nnot have to swim. Mmaybe I should just wwatch?” He frowned, swimming was a necessary skill to a shinobi!

“Sakura... “ Lee shook his head. She needed to relax and not panic. Okay! Back to the edge of the pool to try again! “I have a plan!”

He searched the ground and found a twig within reach. Perfect! But first, this always relaxed him... Tilting her chin, Lee kissed her. Even soggy, she was still so soft. Sakura brought her hands to his chest and wound her legs around his waist, stealing his breath. Oh, he could hold her forever. Closing his eyes, he cradled her head, brushing his tongue over her supple lips, impassioned. She went limp, opening for him, wet and hot, the flavor of pond water and sweet cherry, caught between him and the pool wall, she whimpered. He learned again and again Sakura’s perfection, her irresistible taste, her tantalizing sounds, her captivating beauty. Perfect utterly, and his. His love, his soulmate. How did he get so lucky? He did not believe in destiny, but if he did... She looked dazed, eyes half open.

“Ooxy...tocin…” She mumbled. Huh? Leaning in, Lee kissed her again and again, he must be addicted, he did not want to stop. Did he have a fever? Who knew kissing would be so ... Maybe they needed a break from swimming… “I love yyou.”

“I love you, Sakura.” Lee definitely had a fever. Maybe she did too... They had to continue with the lesson, who knows when they could come back together. But... one more then back to swimming. He pulled away, reluctant. “Do not look at your hands. Keep your eyes on me. Okay?” He snatched the twig behind her and took her hand.

“Uhhuh.” She nodded. Good, at least she was relaxed. Lee swam out, Sakura was doing well! Not looking away, so far so good. A bit farther... Okay, switch! A little more... He held up both hands and signed.

“You did it!”

“Huh?” Sakura lifted her hand, holding a twig. She giggled. Yes! It worked! “Thank you Lee!” Yes! He grinned. The basics were important! Now, they would learn to go under. “Wwant to walk on the water?” Oh right.

“Yes! I understand the basics,” He signed, “I can tree walk, but this is much harder.”

“Tree wwalk?” Sakura asked. Huh?

“It is the same concept.” He said, swimming back over, “Usually you learn it before water walking is attempted.”

“Oh... It was not in the book.” She said, climbed onto the water and kneeled. “For this, the water is ssquishy. Chakra has to be changing to mmatch the squishiness.” Squishiness? Surely the book did not say that. “Press on the wwater a little? It has rresistance, but it is gentle.”

“It does! So the chakra has to match the resistance.” Lee knew this, but he could never find it with his feet. “Okay! If I cannot master water walking today, I will do one thousand laps around this pond!” Eventually.

“Laps?” Lee nodded, yes! “Well… hands are more ssensitive than feeet, so maybe sstart there?”

Lee could use chakra, sort of... Opening the gates required a form of chakra use, but this was different. He would have to put out a constantly changing amount as the water moved. For tree walking, the amount of required chakra was the same every time. Eventually it should be second nature. Okay… feel it push against the water…. tingling static flooded to each of his palms. Did he do it? The water swallowed his hands, he frowned.

Could he do more chakra... Ah! It was solid! Lee leaned forward, but - splash! Nope, okay! Again! Concentrate, pull the chakra. A tingle pooled in his stomach, swirling... channel it to his palms, feel the resistance… There! He pushed forward again. It was mostly solid, like jelly. More? ... Yes! Solid! Oh, oh, the water shifted, an undercurrent, he tried to match... steady... Hey he was doing it! Hands really were better than feet at this… Woah, his fingers sank, wait no! ... Splash! Well... 

“This is not working.” Lee said. “Why? I do not-”

“The chakra nnetwork is like a river, and wee are like the Earth surrounding it, directing its paath. We use a type of willpower, churning the energy within and calling upon it to sserve uss, but it wantss to come out.” She stuck her tongue out, “Yyou’re overthinking it. Mmaybe try closing your eyes? Find yyour chakra.”

The water within... Okay! Lee focused inward this time, closing his eyes. Could he feel his chakra? Yes... he thought so. This time, the tingles were through his whole body, like fuzzy from sitting for too long, but without the numbness. It was odd. His chakra network was white noise, a quiet, lurking flow of energy within his body, almost imperceptible. Come on, chakra, together! More static flowed to his palms.

It wants to match... It wants? Was he trying too hard? It never occurred to him chakra could want anything. Lee pressed down, more energy cycled to his hands, on its own. The water pushed back, like a mini battle between its will and his. It was solid now, a current whooshed under the surface, but his static flowed in tune. Could he-? Lee flipped into a handstand, using his good hand, and grinned.

“Yyou did it!” Sakura cheered.

Yes! Victory! Okay! Woah… careful, careful. He put his other hand down. Double victory! Lee opened his eyes and bright green ones stared back, nose inches from his, underwater from the neck down. Woah, when did - ... she was... Her wet hair was dark, nearly mulberry, making her pale, damp skin glow against the translucent pond. What stood out most were those eyes, sparkling like precious gems, shrouded by dark lashes… His heart sped up, blood rushing to his cheeks. Sakura smiled and Lee was spellbound.

“Aren't you supposed to use your feet for that?”

“Wah!” Lee’s chakra slipped and he dropped down. He popped up, scattering water from his hair, Sakura shielded herself. “Tenten! What are you doing here?”

“I can be wherever I want.” Tenten said, hands on her hips. “I finished training for today, what are you two doing?” Lee tugged Sakura to the edge. “It’s like, lunch time.” Really? How long were they swimming? Come to think of it, he was hungry.

“Sakura, would you like to get lunch?” He signed.

‘I brought it with us.’ Sakura signed, ‘I can get it, there is enough for three.’ 

“Feel free to join us, Tenten. Sakura says she brought extra.”

As Sakura climbed out, Lee spotted large, yellowing bruises covering the back of her thighs. When did that happen? How did she get hurt? She helped him stand, supporting his weight. Little pins pricked his muscles and his limbs were heavy and dense. He missed swimming already. Once he was stable, she brought his crutch, tucking it under his arm.

“Sakura, what happened?” Lee signed. She looked confused, so he pointed, and she twisted around.

‘I... slipped on the stairs doing laundry.’ The shaky smile, the slightest hesitation in her signs, not quite meeting his eyes... She was lying. Why would she lie? ‘Stupid, really.’ Avoiding his gaze, she wrapped a cotton towel over his shoulders, then herself, shivering, then set to unpacking lunch.

“What did she say?” Tenten asked, following Lee to the blanket Sakura laid out. He shook his head.

“You do not have a gift for lying, Sakura.” He signed. Sakura’s smile dropped and she shrank, pulling her sundress on, straightening it out. Lying made no sense, of course he would know... 

“I amm ssorry.” She said, then signed. ‘Please Lee... Momm was really angry. It was part of being grounded, I deserved it. Pleasse let it go, please.’ Ms. Haruno did this? No way she deserved it! But Sakura practically begged him to drop it. With Tenten here... he would, for now. “How does yyour arm and leg feeel?”

“Tired and sore, in a good way.” He said, “I would like to do this again!”

It had been nice to move around like that. Once he was fully healed, he would never take walking for granted again. A small pile of sandwiches, a baggie of cookies, cans of tea, and bananas rested on the blanket. Sakura passed a sandwich to Tenten. Yes! A gesture of friendship!

“Lee, what’s going on?” Tenten asked around a bite. She nodded and smiled at Sakura, “Is someone hurting her? Those were not from sparring.” What should he say? He did not want to talk about Sakura in front of her, but Tenten would definitely keep pushing.

“Sakura, Tenten is asking me about your bruises.” Lee signed, eating to soothe his stomach rumbles. Sakura gripped her skirt, scribbled on her notepad, and tore off a sheet for Tenten.

“Okay... “ Tenten said, frowning, then wrote back. 

What did it say? This was weird… was this how people felt when he signed to Sakura? A conversation happening right there, no idea what they said… she must feel like this all the time. She sniffled, pulling a sandwich into small, bite sized pieces, staring at the ground, was she going to cry? Why did she get into trouble? Why did she think she deserved getting hurt? Sakura hiked her dress up to her waist. What was she doing?

‘I am sorry, Lee.’ Sakura signed when she caught him looking, and passed him the paper.

In Sakura’s bouncy, rounded text: _It looks worse than it is, please do not worry. Thank you for asking._

Then Tenten’s more curvy, graceful scrawl: _ If you say so, but you should still have it looked at. _

This made her almost cry? Sakura’s hands hovered over the bruises, and they faded away. Healing jutsu? She was able to do that already? For how long? Had she gotten rid of other marks in this way too? Should he be more concerned about this? Ms. Haruno was not… nice to Sakura, but to hit her hard enough to leave such dark spots... Dad hit him sometimes, a tap to get his attention whenever Lee got carried away or broke a serious rule, but he never hurt him, never left bruises... Was this normal for other parents?

“Alll gone,” Sakura smiled, fixed her skirt, then picked up a piece of sandwich.

“Hehe, right, all gone.” Tenten’s smile looked forced. “Seriously Lee? What’s this girl’s story? She only appears when you’re around and only to bring you stuff and run off. Is she your secret sister or something? Did Guy-sensei adopt two kids?” She knew he was adopted? How? What? Wait-

“Sakura is not my sister. But how did you know I was adopted?” He shivered, and Sakura brought over his clothes. ‘Thank you.’ He redressed, Sakura offered him half a sandwich, ‘Thank you again!’

“Come on, you look nothing alike.” Tenten said, rolling her eyes. What? Really? “Name one thing you have in common besides hair. And eye color doesn’t count, since it’s a common color. Your eyes aren’t even the same shape. Plus, Guy-sensei would’ve had you at like, fifteen. It’s so obvious when you think about it!”

“Umm...I guess so.” Lee said. Tenten was kind of scary. Was she this observant all the time? Beside him, Sakura was sitting with her hands folded, staring at the grass, Lee wanted to smack himself. He tapped her shoulder. “Tenten is not upset with you.” Sakura was probably wanting to run away about now.

“Oh, I’m probably freaking her out.” Tenten winced, then smiled. “Okay, I guess not being able to hear could do this to a person.” Do what? “So, she’s clearly a ninja, why isn’t she on any team? Is she still in the Academy?”

“How do you know Sakura is a ninja?” From the look she gave, he should not have asked.

“Are you kidding?” Here we go… “She kept up with those exercises in our training for one. When I got here, she was on the water, not in it, and she just used medical ninjutsu on her bruises! Seriously?” Somehow Tenten managed to maintain a friendly face while yelling at him.

“Iamm ssorry.” Sakura said. Oh no, he forgot to interpret for her. ‘Your therapy appointment is soon. Do you want me to leave?’

“No! Come with, please. Tenten, I have to be at therapy soon.” Lee signed. He stuck the bananas back into the bag. Sakura mumbled an apology and picked up the rest.

“Okay fine, but you’re explaining everything on the way.” She was coming too?

“It is not that simple!” Lee groaned, “Okay, I will, but only with Sakura’s permission. It is bad enough to talk about her like this.” He leaned on his crutch and stood. “Sakura, Tenten is asking a lot of questions about you. Is it okay if I answer them? I promise I won’t say anything weird.”

‘If you want to, Lee. I trust you.’ She signed. She trusted him! Lee grinned and kissed her. She was so perfect… skin still damp from the swim, the scent of fresh water on her hair.

“Okay, I get it, not your sister.” Right, Tenten! He jumped, face hot.

“Sorry.” He said as they headed towards the hospital. “What did you want to know? Sakura says it is okay.”

“So? Academy student or not?” Tenten asked and Lee shook his head. 

“At one point yes, but not since losing her hearing.” He said, then ended up telling her the entire story with the paper bomb as they walked towards the hospital. It was not a pleasant recall. After answering more questions, Lee bit his tongue when she brought up the ninjutsu, almost letting Kakashi-sensei’s name slip. It was too easy to talk to Tenten, combined with his distaste for secrets… he had to be careful. 

“Her mom sounds... strict.” Tenten said after his rendition of her rules.

“Yes… Ms. Haruno is very protective of Sakura.” He said. Even harming her to protect her? Perhaps it was an accident? Either way, he would ask Dad. If there was anything to worry about, Dad would know.


	18. Dark Roasted Nindo

A tepid wind blew, warming rusty roof tiles across the Hidden Leaf Village. The streets bustled with life, the ebb and flow of daily routines, while the latest gossip dripped from wagging tongues. It didn’t escape Kakashi’s notice, though one could be forgiven for thinking it had. Open book in one hand, other hidden in his pocket, he never once looked up. A team of academy students finally passed his bell test; a trio of young boys who put aside their differences and worked toward a common goal. More or less. Once again, his time was compromised, now bisected between students: an unofficial, accidental protégé and his first ever Team Seven.

For years, Kakashi strived to mold Sakura into a functional, well rounded shinobi, finding both success and failure. This would’ve been her graduation year, Team Seven her peers. Rounding the corner, he passed _Ichiraku’s_ and entered the _Red Lantern_ ,  a familiar, permeating stench of intoxication and grease. 

Despite himself, Kakashi grew fond of mentoring Sakura, though stubbornness tolerated no room for this admission. Guy’s smug, satisfied grin painted an infuriating image he struggled to dismiss. However, Kakashi permitted the manipulation, so he could hardly complain.

The central bar accommodated three clustered Kunoichi, a scowling Mebuki amidst them. Easy enough to ignore. Kakashi breezed to his corner booth, shoulders slouched, eye oscillating across the page. Many surmised his arrogance compelled the cold-shoulder, while others deemed him a lazy daydreamer.

In reality, Kakashi’s conceit and complacency perished with his comrades long ago. He ordered a neat whisky and leaned back. Iruka was running late, even by Kakashi’s standards. Perhaps Naruto held him up with post graduation success, being amongst the latest additions to Team Seven.

Kakashi swirled the dark liquid and inhaled before taking a sip, holding it in his mouth a moment, savoring the mellow floral and fruity notes. A seasoned Shinobi veteran, nearly ten years in Anbu alone, needed a drink after witnessing the effect of Sakura’s degrading and cruel ‘punishment.’ The injuries were intentional, but he had no frame of reference regarding child rearing, both parents dead before age six.

“Sorry I’m late.” Iruka slid into the booth seat, glancing at Mebuki, apprehensive. “I heard about your new Genin. Congratulations.” Kakashi was notorious for returning pupils and he was pleased Naruto succeeded. Sasuke and Sai too, of course, the latter a recent transfer student from another division. Iruka didn’t know him. “Should we, uh…”

“Here’s her final.” Kakashi sent the messenger bag over. Mebuki wouldn't hear them over the throbbing jukebox beats, though she tried. He sipped his drink, a picture of stoicism overlaying impatience. Iruka pulled out the stack of papers, red pen in hand. “Well?”

“One moment.” There were several pages and two essay questions; he wouldn’t rush. He hmm’ed and clicked the pen on the table. Often writing above her peers, Sakura’s bookwork was impeccable and imaginative. Had she been in class, grading on a curve would’ve punished the less academic students. “I don’t know how you did it, but you have a graduate. On paper, anyway.” If Kakashi’s near imperceptible relief was anything to go by, she likely passed the performance final long before the written portion.

“Thanks.” Kakashi stole back the packet, tossed money on the table and finished the last swallow of whisky. On the street he opened _Makeout Tactics_ and headed to the Cemetery. Maybe he was more cut out for this than he thought. Minato, Rin, and Obito would be glad to hear it. Afterward, he headed to Guy’s.

Later that afternoon, Guy stepped onto the patio. Lee was on the other side of town with permission to use his tools for a ‘secret project,’ AKA: Project Dojo. It was an opportune time to knock on Mebuki’s door for a private conversation. Disturbed by Kakashi’s retelling of her punishment, Guy decided to confront her. Standing in the kitchen, as he raised to knock, Mebuki rounded and shoved Sakura against the counter and gripped her chin, intense fury etched across her features. The glass rattled under his fist and she released Sakura, who stared at the floor to hide tears. Steeling himself, Guy stepped inside when Mebuki waved him in, sipping from her mug.

“What do you want?” Mebuki asked.

“Nothing more than a little reassurance.” Guy said, staying close to the door. “I’ve noticed some bruises on Sakura and they didn’t happen while I was around. I hoped you had some ideas.”

“Really? I didn’t notice anything.” She said, then her eyes turned hard, “Are you accusing me of hurting my child?” When he didn’t answer, Mebuki fingered her weapon pouch, “How dare you! I do everything for her!” For a moment, Guy thought she might attack, instead she calmed and squared her shoulders, gesturing wildly as she spoke. Sakura paid those hands far too much attention. “How I discipline my child is no business of yours. None. However, I assure you, there is nothing for you to concern yourself over. Children are clumsy, especially mine. If you want to know how she got hurt, ask her.”

“I see. I appreciate your honesty.” Guy said.

“You’d better.” She crossed her arms as he lamented the loss of their friendship.

Once upon a time, Mebuki offered solace and support to a young single father with no living relatives to turn to. She curtailed Lee’s boundless energy with games of tag and backyard scavenger hunts. On late, cool summer evenings, little Lee and Sakura tucked away in their beds, Guy shared his worries, laid bare his doubts to his close friends and neighbors - Mebuki and Kizashi. Guy was apprehensive, barely an adult raising a child alone with no experience.

Being more than eight years his senior, both rebuffed his concerns, declaring him a wonderful dad. He recalled one afternoon when he knocked on their door to pick up Lee, who was maybe six years old. Mebuki tugged him inside, shushed him, and led him to peek into Sakura’s room. Kneeling on the floor in her little animal print onesie, she was sniffling. Lee, in matching print, held her in his tiny arms and kissed her head.

“She had a nightmare during their nap.” Mebuki whispered, hand on his arm. “Lee is such a sweet boy, he told her he’d kiss away the bad dreams.” She left the door cracked open. “Guy, you really are doing a beautiful job. Don’t worry, I snuck in some photos.” She smiled in a warm way and he found a stack of developed memories in Lee’s backpack the following night. Blessed with such supportive friends, Guy eagerly returned the favor, babysitting Sakura at every opportunity. The kids thrived and became inseparable.

Kizashi’s infidelity and traitorous activities went public within a year; Guy became Mebuki’s shoulder. When it wasn’t enough, she embraced the forgetful bliss of alcohol, condemning Kakashi, and other close friends of her ex-husband. She turned on Guy too, when he defended his partner. The woman before him was transformed, the product of bitterness and a broken heart. He didn’t know this new version. 

“What are you doing looking at her anyway? Where exactly were these bruises you just so happened to see?” Guy was almost too shocked to respond, unable to rationalize the implication.

“It wasn’t -”

“You know what? Go ahead and search.” Mebuki jerked Sakura forward, laughing. “What are you gonna do? Take her to the Hokage, make her strip in his office?” Guy shook his head, a rare moment of speechlessness. It was moot if Sakura healed herself, and he would never subject her to physical scrutiny. “I have to get to work. Are you watching her or not?” Mebuki was prepared to leave her in the Standby Station if he quit.

“Of course.” Guy maintained the even tone, though Sakura never once looked up. After Mebuki left, slamming the door, he tapped Sakura’s shoulder, she recoiled, “How would you like to come over? We can make cookies.” He made sure his smile was genuine; kids especially could tell if it wasn’t. She nodded and took his hand. It would be days before she spoke again.

Over coffee the next morning, Guy and Kakashi were in agreement. The situation escalated to require intervention of a higher level. After many fruitless reports to the chaotic police force, they threw in a bid for an audience with the highest shinobi law. Knocking on Lord Hokage’s door, Guy went alone, not yet ready to expose their secret training. Should it become necessary, neither would hesitate.

“Come in.” Sarutobi Hiruzen, Lord the Third, said. “Ah, Guy. What can this old man do for you?” Despite Kakashi’s skepticism, Guy was indeed capable of tact when the situation required it. He kneeled across from the floor table, noting they were alone. Well, as alone as a village leader could be.

“Lord Hokage, I have concerns about Sakura’s safety in her home, there’s been some strange injuries and ... abnormal behavior. I know Mebuki and I have a history, but I swear that has nothing to do with this!”

“Her safety?” Sarutobi said, puffing on his pipe, emptying his hands of their never ending task of signing papers. “Think carefully about what you’re saying, Guy. You’re a well respected Jonin and superb mentor. Once you put forth this accusation, there is no going back. If you’re wrong - ”

“I’m not wrong.” Guy said. The idea he would come this far with anything less than certainty was insulting.

“So you have proof?” Now he faltered. Technically, no. What he had was a mounting pile of circumstantial evidence, and he said as much, outlining his observations. “Hmm... I will speak to Mebuki. I have faith in her, and I don’t want to believe one of my Anbu is capable of such a thing. It is possible this is all a misunderstanding. However, your concerns are troubling. Gather information as best you can, and after the Chunin exams are over, I will speak to Sakura myself.”

“Thank you, Lord Hokage!” Guy said. It made sense to wait, the exams were a day away. One more month and Sakura would be safe.

When he returned home, he hovered in the back doorway, amused, as Lee struggled to count his pushups, Sakura dozing on his back. Pride swelled as Lee, red faced and distracted, shook his head and pressed on. His adopted son was so much like him, conviction never waning, Guy suspected they might be kinsmen somehow, but no evidence ever surfaced. One day, Lee would surpass him, it was clear, shining through in his dedication and perseverance. Mastering the Hidden Lotus alone was an achievement worthy of Chūnin. Sakura embraced his shoulders and he blushed, faltering his workout. Guy grinned. Love was a beautiful gift and would inflame Lee’s desire to work harder, to achieve more. Protecting someone precious was an even greater calling than proving oneself, a fact Guy knew intimately. The next week would show off Lee’s unrivaled determination, of that he was certain.

Turning the page, Kakashi suppressed a yawn, sprawled out over the red, cracked cushions of the break room. The Chūnin Exams were code for unpaid overtime and he refused to overwork. Out of principle. The coffee pot called to him, but he resisted the urge. What resembled coffee was in fact Guy’s specialty black sludge and he resolved to allow others their fair share before brewing a real pot. Speaking of, a trio of Hidden Leaf Forest Guards wandered in and if the dark circles were anything to go by, he was in luck. Static buzzed over their radios as they chatted and filled paper cups. A few grimaced and topped it off with water.

“Jeeze, who made this? They must have steel tastebuds and an iron stomach.” Himari complained. Kakashi couldn’t agree more.

“This is Group Two, we picked up Bubblegum again, takin’ her off grounds. Over.” Tora’s scratchy, deep voice from a belt radio inspired the group to groan. This piqued his interest.

“Ugh, again? That kid’s gonna give me an ulcer.” Kai said, shaking his head. “How many times have we told her to - ”

“Group Two to all units, Bubblegum’s off grounds, but keep a sharp eye. Over.”

“Like that’ll last. Come on, better head back and make sure she doesn’t get herself killed.” Akari finished her drink in one swallow, grimacing.

“How about you guys take a break and let me handle this?” Kakashi asked, standing up. A female child suspiciously dubbed ‘Bubblegum’... well it didn’t take a genius to sort that one out.

“Really? You sure?” Kai asked. “I mean, it’s really nothing. We didn’t mean to complain so much.”

“No, nothing like that, just leave it to me.” Kakashi said. Putting away his book, he took the shortcut out the window. Deep cinnamon wafted over the rooftop, indicating Sakura wouldn’t be hard to find. After learning she retained yet another injury, he brought her to the tower, eager to learn of Guy’s conversation with the Hokage and unwilling to make her return home.

Hours later, downstairs in the practice hall, Kakashi leaned against the aluminum rail beside Guy on the walkway overlooking the fights, surrounded by eager, tired Genin. Boasting of Team 13’s experience and strength, Guy claimed they outstripped Team 7 in both. All in the name of healthy competition, of course. Casually, Kakashi tilted his head and claimed not to hear him, acknowledging his refusal to participate in the ridiculous banter, which he knew drove Guy crazy. 

Besides, it was clear Team 7 outpaced Team 13, he didn’t need to say so. The score would speak for itself. Despite himself, Kakashi reminded Guy not to forget a fourth, unofficial student passed out on the pleather couch upstairs. In his opinion, she might’ve made Chunin given the opportunity. It was beneath him to brag, and he toed the line with the expertise of a con man.

Before Kakashi could stop him, Guy asked Sakura to be permitted to observe the fights, suspecting her presence would intensify Lee’s triumphant spirit. In the end, both were grateful his request was denied. The fight between Lee and Gaara was both ferocious and debilitating, sand and limbs clashing with destructive force. Lee’s aspirations, the dreams he shared with Guy, erupted, bestowing a contest for rank promotion devastating significance. Kakashi, ever aloof and calm, warned his own students against such stubbornness. 

Internally, he anguished, having grown fond of the too energetic child bouncing around Guy’s house who regarded Kakashi with curiosity and awe. For some reason, a fleeting memory played before him: Little Lee peeking around the corner, watching him have breakfast at their house, presumably an attempt to see under his mask.

“Having any luck?” Kakashi asked, sipping his coffee. Caught, Lee flushed, shook his head, and sheepishly approached him, still clad in his pajamas.

“No sir.” He said, making an admirable attempt not to stare.

“You want to know what’s under my mask?” He teased, amused as the boy’s red face got redder.

“Dad said you have a silver tongue!” Lee burst out. That explained a lot. Now Kakashi was faced with the dilemma of either explaining idioms or to roll with it. Of course, in the end, he explained to the wide-eyed child how silver tongues were acquired through years of arduous, undercover Anbu work and it was forbidden to show them to anyone. He wondered if Lee still believed it.

Team Seven passed to the next round, but only Neji managed the task. He wouldn’t collect on their bet.

The next few weeks were a blur of training tenacious, underprepared students, attempting to break through a sand defense well above Chunin level, and comforting a devastated Guy at the hospital. Kakashi patted his back as they hovered near Lee’s bed, listening to the doctor outline his child's foreseeable future. Sensing he was a third wheel, Kakashi left them alone.

Guy was similarly overloaded, spending as much time at the hospital as training Neji. When Lee awoke asking for Sakura, he hid his unease with gentle reassurance, though not well. Foolishly, during his exhaustion, he expected Mebuki to appraise her of the incident.

Mebuki stretched, yawned, dressed for work and headed to the kitchen. The sound of running water traveled up the stairs and she paused, then decided Sakura must be filling the kettle. Tea would be late, making her late for work. Rounding the corner, Sakura held her mug in trembling hands, a forced smile, while the sink overflowed behind her, running down the cabinet.

“G-good mmorning, Mmom.”

Hot rage flooded her veins as the latest water bill raced through her mind, along with her declining funds. To leave the water running like that, what an idiotic, careless child. Mebuki left note after note about the high costs of her carelessness, yet it failed to sink in. This behavior was what drove her to drink. Water soaked her sleeves to the elbows, splashed down her pants, and onto her feet. She blinked. Somehow, she held Sakura’s head in the sink, forcing her underwater while she struggled, small hands slipping against the firmica. 

With no recollection of how long, Mebuki pulled her out, splashing water everywhere, and watched her collapse, coughing and crying, surrounded by broken ceramic. That was her favorite mug. Now she would have to go out and buy another. Disgusted, she glared down at the sodden heap, wishing she drowned her, pink hair splayed across the tile. Like his hair. 

How the village must laugh at her. Mebuki, the oblivious wife of a lecherous traitor, saddled with his name, raising his mistake. Their stares burned into her when she went to work, went to shop, went to the bar. Judging her, laughing at her. None of them knew what she dealt with every single day, the sacrifices she made.

“I’mm ssorry Mommmy.” Sakura whimpered, kneeling in the mess, collecting the broken pieces. Pathetic, frail child. Like father, like daughter. Apologies from their type were worthless.

If one of Mebuki’s colleagues heard how ridiculous his daughter sounded, she’d never hear the end of it. Her hand was on Sakura’s face, squeezing her jaw. Generally, Mebuki disliked violence, but her daughter drove her to it regularly, a fact she deeply resented. It wasn’t like she chose this, but of course they wouldn’t understand. 

Perhaps they were watching now, peering in windows, slinking near doors, listening around corners. While she was out for a new mug, Sakura needed another dress. No one would accuse her of providing less than the best. Many of Kizashi’s former friends offered condolences, but it was lies. All of them lied.

Dropping her, she went back to her room to change. No one would see her in such a state if she could help it. Laundry better get done today... the things she went through because of that clumsy moron. Redressed, she headed out, ignoring the child cleaning up her own mess. At least she was good for something. 

Most of her real friends understood, rallying to her side, expressing their sympathy for the cruelty she suffered at the hands of her ex-husband, and now his relentless, inept offspring. Others seemed to understand, to lend their empathy, but they lied. Guy betrayed her, stabbed her in the back.

Thinking about Guy always pissed her off. A friend who pretended to care, doting over Kizashi ’s precious little girl and hanging around Kakashi, flaunting their relationship like it never hurt anyone, like they were so innocent. Kakashi... there was someone whom she could never stand. Even before the incident, she didn’t like him, seeing through his laid back, calm and collected airs. Heading into the Red Lantern , there was no harm in a few drinks before work, her friends greeted her. With a wave, she bought the next round. No one would accuse her of not being generous.

They filled her in on the latest Chunin exam news as per the grapevine. Word was Lee’s wounds irreparably ended his Shinobi career. While she resented Guy, hated Kakashi, and was outright hostile with Sakura, she adored Lee. It was all Guy’s fault, letting him fight that sand ninja, teaching him the Eight Gates, leading him to disaster. In her eyes, Lee was like her, doing his best despite the misfortune of difficult people in his life. 

If Sakura were more like him, Mebuki wouldn’t have so many headaches. After work, before dawn broke across the sky, she stopped at the hospital, peering in Lee’s window. Dozing in the chair at his bedside, Guy was bent over, arms crossed, snoring. Of course he had to be there when she wanted to visit. Angry, she kicked the windowsill and stomped off. She needed another drink.

Guy startled awake and leapt up, scanning the room. Deciding steady beeps and faint footsteps were no threat, he settled back down. Light filtered through glass, casting a moonglow over Lee’s bed, where he and Sakura lay dreaming, cuddled under thin sheets. Smiling, he brushed hair from Lee’s face, admiring his little patchwork family. Glancing at the cast, he sighed. The uphill path ahead would be the ultimate test of Lee’s fortitude.

The thought roused a dusty memory from its slumber. He’d give anything to take Lee’s pain and suffering away, reminiscent of how he felt finding a little Sakura face down on his kitchen floor, tiny fists curled in frustration, surrounded by crumpled papers covered in word lists and hand drawings. It was about eight months after her accident and Guy worried about her lingering rainclouds. Depression was a deadly thief who stole youth, energy, and life.

With care, he nudged her, but she hadn’t responded. When he picked her up, she flopped like a ragdoll and his concern spiked. Green eyes dull and half open, she wasn’t asleep. At the time, Kakashi’s cold, blank stare flashed over hers. The idea of her building thick walls between herself and her emotions made him panic, suddenly inadequate and ill prepared to nurture children, to be a father. Taking a deep breath, he held her against his chest and paced the house, speaking reassurances in her better ear. Hours passed, arms stiff, he almost brought her to the hospital, or to Kakashi, but then of her own accord, Sakura lifted her head from his shoulder, eyes bright again, and wiped his damp cheeks.

“Wh-wh... “ She started, then faltered, shrinking back.

“Did you -?” He stopped patrolling, not entirely sure he heard anything. “Sakura?” Brushing her hair back, Guy smiled in a way he hoped was encouraging and gave her his full attention, silently pleading with her to speak.

“Whwhyaa… aarre…” For a moment, she seemed to wait for his reaction. It must’ve been satisfactory. “Yyou s… ssad?” All he could do was cry happy tears, spin around and squeeze her confused little self. Not only did she come back, she spoke aloud to him for the first time.

“A… apples… ssoap….” Present day Sakura muttered, sitting up, looking around. Reaching out for him, she clumsily leaned over Lee, half asleep. Guy took her hand, surprised when she tugged him into bed. Somehow he became the bed, Lee and Sakura tucked under each arm, sprawled across his chest. Through tears, he held them both. Neither would concede to the mountains in their path, no matter how large, reminding him tomorrow would surpass today. Maybe not right away, but ultimately the veil would lift and the sun would shine again.

Plenty of corpses out tonight. Under the full moon, Mebuki grouped with the Anbu to collect the fallen, boarding tipsy. They dressed down enemy infiltrators for secrets, sent cold comrades for processing, and labeled allied Shinobi for their return home. Death clung to their clothes in a way other Anbu didn’t understand. Blood was washable, but the stench was forevermore. 

A stiff, shocked face stared, big doe eyes glassy and empty, bent over a sword on the village wall beside the body of a massive snake. Most of the border guards were wiped out in the attack. This one was a young woman, maybe twenty, thick black hair cut at the shoulders, pretty, probably talented. Well, at one point. Checking her vest, Mebuki pocketed the coins and hauled her over her shoulder. Another body for the furnace. Briefly she wished to find Guy and Kakashi among them, though it was the drink talking.

Dumping the corpse at the morgue, Mebuki took a swig from her hip flask, familiar like an old friend, warmth pooling in her stomach, maintaining the buzzing in her skull. It was already more than half empty and she would make a pit stop for a refill soon. 

Returning to the wall, she popped a mint and collected another. A man this time, middle aged, handsome save for the old blood and saliva bubbled down his open lips. When she lifted, a squelch made her drop him, cracking his head on the ground. Gagging, she realized this one defecated during disembowelment. Slippery, wet intestines slid from a large gash bisecting his belly, blood and organs mingled with excrement, soaking his uniform. Slamming the rest of her flask, Mebuki cursed and fumbled with her disposable gloves, then stuffed the slippy organs back inside, taping him shut. No one would accuse her of not working hard.

“Mebuki, almost finished? We got a group of enemy nin at the Dome to pack up.” Keiko said from somewhere in the darkness.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll meet you there.” She said, then used the opportunity to refresh her canteen.

At the arena, her team lay the bodies in a row and began inspection. Mebuki moved mechanically, disrobing the cloaked enemies, sorting collected items into groups. Nothing worth keeping on this one, basic ninja tools and scrolls. Burnt flesh bound cloth to skin on the next and she wondered if Kakashi’s fireball jutsu was the cause. Chipping a nail on one of the melted buttons, she cursed and took another drink. The buzz swelled to a peak, the feeling she sought the most, a bubbly euphoria that made everything better.

“Looks like you got a real hottie over there, Mebuki.” Keiko said when she noticed the burns.

“At least he’s not a pincushion like your man. Happy plucking, honey.”

“There’s another down here, looks like he got thrown through the wall. Man, can’t these Jonin learn to make cleaner kills?” Daiji said from somewhere in the stadium. As a tall, well-built older man with dark hair who was reasonably attractive, none of them minded working with him.

“Yeah, right.” Mebuki said, snorting. “Probably Guy’s handiwork. Try asking him to clean anything and see how far it gets you.” Mayumi and Yumena laughed, she cracked a smile.

“How come you haven’t bagged that man yet? He’s available, attractive, young -.” 

“Yumena! We don’t like him, remember?” Mebuki said. “Besides, he’s too young for me.” The idea of laying with the man who sided with Kizashi would’ve revolted her, if not for the bubbles. Instead it struck her as amusing.

“Whatever, and he’s not too young for you. No more than he’s too old for Sakura anyway.”

“Oh my god, what is wrong with you?” Mayumi said, laughing so hard she toppled onto a half dressed corpse.

“What? Wasn’t Mebuki just complaining the other day about how much he fawns over her? Just sayin’.”

“He does it with his kid too, y’know.” Keiko said between snickers. “So, get on that already, before I do.” Mebuki gulped half her drink in one go. “Or before he does.” Another round of raucous laughter. Of course they weren’t laughing at her, these were her friends. Her real friends.


	19. Sakura: Conjuring a Raincloud

Sakura sat on the floor outside Lee’s therapy room and waited. All the way to the hospital, Tenten and Lee talked about her. Before she left, she hugged Sakura. Should she’ve hugged her back? What did Lee want her to do? Tenten ran off before she could react. Wel... she probably had better things to do than hang out with Sakura.

Hugging her knees, she adjusted her red skirt over her swimsuit. The halls were nice and empty, no one to try to talk to her, or shoo her away. Sometimes a nurse would make her leave the hospital, but why? Was it bad to wait here? 

A woman rounded the corner and Sakura tucked against the wall. It was Lady-sensei, from the Coffee Room. Hopefully she would pass by, but she didn’t. She stopped in front of her and crouched, holding out a folded sheet of paper. Was Sakura in trouble?

You’re Kakashi’s student, right? You should know he’s here, in a coma. I’ll take you to go see him if you want.

A coma? Hugging the paper, Sakura absorbed the news and stood. Was he going to be okay? What happened? Was she allowed to ask? Taking her own notepad from her purse, she wrote back. 

_Is_ … Sakura blanked, then through blurry vision added, _what happened?_

He saved Asuma and I from an attack. We owe him and Guy our lives.  Lady-sensei put a hand on her shoulder and guided her around the corner. At the end of the long hall, they stopped in front of an unlabeled, metal door, then Lady-sensei scribbled another note. 

Can you find your way back? Stay as long as you want. Guy is here visiting too, okay?  Nodding, she wiped her eyes. Guy-sensei! Hopefully she could find him... maybe he was with Lee. Patting her head, Lady-sensei walked away. Oh, she should probably -.

“Thank you,” Sakura said. Did she say it right? Maybe? Stopping, Lady-sensei turned and came back. Sakura shrank, oh no. Was that okay? Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything. Did she say it wrong? Was she angry?

“Issorry.” That was not right. Was she going to hit her? Please don’t... Lady-sensei smiled, and added more to her paper and left. 

You have a nice voice.  That’s all? Sakura hugged the paper, now crinkled and watched her until she was out of sight. Maybe she didn’t know Mom…

Once alone, Sakura entered the room, Kakashi-sensei’s sleeping silhouette darkened a white curtain inside a room similar to Lee’s old one. She sniffled and wiped her cheeks. Stop crying, stupid! Even in a coma, he wouldn’t want her acting like a baby. Brushing passed the curtain, she went to his side. Still dressed in his navy blue uniform, mask covering his face, headband and vest missing. No hospital clothes? Pulling up a small wooden chair, she kneeled, hovering over him, and stuffed the paper into her bag then took his ungloved hand.

Poor Kakashi-sensei… Who could do something like this? A thin scar bisected his eyelid, a dark and jagged line against his sheet white skin. No bandages or obvious wounds, from what she could see. Why was he in a coma? Sakura frowned. A coma was a deep state of unconsciousness. If there were no physical injuries, then... 

Maybe something happened with his Sharingan. It held devastating power capable of manipulating the minds of others, shaping their world to suit his purposes, seeing the unseen. If it was hurt, or turned on him... Sakura sobbed. No, please no. It had to be something else! Kakashi-sensei shouldn’t be hurt, it wasn’t fair. How could someone do this? Why would anyone want to hurt him?

She rubbed his chilly fingers, trying to warm them. They were so cold… Oh, his head... Searching around, she found a clean white rag, then went to the bathroom sink, wetting it with cool water. Returning to his side, she folded it and wiped sweat from his brow. Was he suffering even in this state? His breathing was shallow, though not quite panting. Why? Was he dreaming? Or maybe it was nightmares. While in a coma? It was possible, but unlikely. She pressed her fingers against his wrist and counted. His pulse was weak. Why? Why? Why? What was happening to him? Sweating, panting, heartbeat weak, but rapid... 

Putting aside the cloth, Sakura climbed onto the mattress, dipping it, and pressed her forehead against his. Kakashi-sensei had a fever. Moving to the end of the bed, she touched his feet... like blocks of ice. Climbing down, she searched the drawers in the bed frame and found a bag of thin hospital socks. Sliding two pairs over each foot, she tucked them back under the blanket. If feet became too cold, it could cause the brain to believe it’s in pain, especially while asleep. Hopefully that would help regulate his temperature better. Were there more blankets anywhere? ...Not that she could find.

Back at his side, she brushed damp, silver hair from his face, then lifted his normal eyelid. His iris moved, rapid and erratic, an indication of dreaming. How? She placed both of her wrists against the sides of his head. His ears were cold too. Feverish, but cold all over, REM sleep state, poor circulation... from the weak heartbeat maybe? 

Maybe... maybe she could ease his pain a little, if he was having nightmares, they could cause some of these symptoms. The mind was a strange place, a complicated bundle of life, neurons sending and receiving signals, glial and oligodendrocytes helping them along, the microglia, and astrocytes providing nutrients… It was delicate.

He wasn’t connected to an EEG... Why not? It’s supposed to monitor brain activity to detect problems in the patterns. A coma should prevent the cause from creating more damage to his brain, but without an EEG they wouldn’t know for sure, so why? Kakashi-sensei was so pale it was scary, dark circles under his eyes, pillow damp from sweat. He was so kind, such a wonderful person… He shouldn’t have to suffer. Maybe she could... 

Warmth spread from her stomach like liquified candle wax, swirling through her body in a steady stream. Directing the course, she channeled energy to her palms. If she could soothe his torment, even a little... but ... she was not a doctor. What right did she have to interfere? She should sit at his side and wait for a real doctor. It was not her place. 

Kakashi-sensei… Oh! Sakura reached for the rag and patted the reforming beads away from his forehead and temple. The IV was still mostly full, so at least he wouldn’t be dehydrated. His breathing turned more shallow, rapid, pulse climbing, no, no! Why? Leave him alone!

“Shh, Kakashi-sensei, it’s okay.” Sakura whispered. “It’s okay...Please, try to calm down, it will be okay.”

Maybe. Was she telling him lies? Taking his hands, she warmed them again, but his breathing was still erratic. This wasn’t helping! He was clearly in agony, and she was just sitting here, doing nothing! What was wrong with her? How could she let this happen? Kakashi-sensei was her best friend, her teacher, like family. If she could do something... If a doctor could’ve helped him, they would have by now, right?

So what chance did she have? … Gripping his blanket, she laid her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat; thumpthumpthump... So fast… Even if only to ease his misery, she had to try something. She sat up and put her hands over his ears again and closed her eyes, reaching forward, letting her tender, tepid force brush his temples, flowing from her palms like an affectionate embrace against his mind. His mind... she sought out the conflict. 

Something was … not right. There was a ... Nightmare inside. It made a bed and took up residency in his chakra network, blocking off his Second Gate like a clog in a drain. … It was no wonder he was in a coma... 

Stroking It as one would a beloved pet, Sakura prodded the Phantasm. Nothing happened? Ah! A spike of pain shot back at her, a jolt of electricity. She frowned and pressed on. It was a knot, made up of the Phantasm and Kakashi-sensei’s own tissue, woven together like a tangled skein of yarn. Which of them zapped her? It could’ve been either.

She let her chakra work, tugging, unraveling the Phantasm from her dear teacher. Sweat dripped down her brow and she breathed harder. It was hurting him, haunting him, preventing his head from healing itself. She kept at it, a delicate touch, It pulsed as she stripped Its power away, snarling at her, striking out. Sakura gasped, trembling, but didn’t budge. No, It couldn’t keep him. She wouldn’t let It.

Needed more... more chakra, more time... Kakashi-sensei’s breathing grew more steady, sweating slowed as the Phantasm recoiled and shrank. Could she risk checking his pulse? Better not move. This didn’t seem to be hurting him. Sakura struggled to stay upright as her head swam. It was fine. Something wet dripped from her mouth, but she ignored it. The Phantasm wanted her distracted, to look away for just a second. Would It come back in full force?

It fought her, resisted as she caressed Its rough, black, spindly edges, uncovering Kakashi-sensei’s healthy tissue and releasing him from Its brutish clutches, one piece at a time. How long had she been at this? How much chakra did she have left? It didn’t matter. She was hot, her chakra was burning at a rate she couldn’t handle, melting her from inside, wax turned to lava. Sakura suppressed the urge to cry out, biting her lip. Kakashi-sensei’s throat twitched, like he swallowed. Hang on, don’t move please.

She felt It weakening, dissolving, receding. Was It trying to hide? No, no, not okay. It sank and Sakura reached deeper. Woah, dizzy…! No, she couldn’t pass out yet. The Gateway was cleared, but The Phantasm held hostages. Kakashi-sensei shuddered and twitched. No, not yet, Sensei, please... Her head was fuzzy and light, swimming toward unconsciousness. No, just a little more... There It is. Her strength was gone, her spirit spent, chakra almost dry, burning, but she needed one… more... tug... a small piece was…. right …. - there - Did she... Did... It - ? Sensei… please … be … ….

Sakura laid on something lumpy and warm, she was so weak, fuzzy... Was Kakashi-sensei...? Eyes were heavy, she cracked them open. Where-? Blue and white... Oh, she was across his lap, she tried to move, but her body wouldn’t... Too tired... A cold hand touched her head. Sensei? He was sitting up, watching her. Good… he’s okay... Sakura felt around … his hand… she gave it a feeble squeeze. He was okay… He was here…

“You ... Sensei.” She tried to say, voice felt unsteady and strange... She closed her eyes and let her head drop. So... ti....

When she awoke, the warmth was gone and Kakashi-sensei was dressed in his full Jonin uniform, standing next to the bed, Guy-sensei beside him. Was Lee here? How long was she asleep? Oh, they were probably furious! She broke so many rules, so stupid. Sitting up, she hugged herself and waited. This was bad, this punishment was going to be awful. They watched her, talking, well, probably talking.

Sakura bowed her head and peeked up at them, she tried to read their faces, but she didn’t understand their expressions. Kakashi-sensei’s arms were down, no fury creases, and didn’t seem tense or anything. Guy-sensei’s mouth was a thin line, turned down at the corners, a slight, inward angle in his brows, arms at his sides, one hand on his hip, casual and calm, but... 

‘Sakura, that was reckless and stupid.’ Kakashi-sensei signed. She nodded, he was right. Was he going to hit her? She deserved it, he should beat her senseless for this one. Or worse, never talk to her again. ‘I’m not going to hurt you. What were you thinking?’

‘The…’ Sakura didn’t have a word for this. ‘It… was hurting your head. I am sorry.’ It terrified her.

“It?” Guy-sensei signed. “Tell us exactly what happened.” Flinching, she wanted to vanish. Crawl into a hole and never come out. “You’re not in trouble, right Kakashi?”

‘I guess not. Though you probably should be.’ He signed.

“I  doubt  she has the strength to do it again .” Guy-sensei said, face somber, “Sasuke will have to wait for Lady Tsunade.”

“Looks that way.” Kakashi-sensei said? ‘No jutsu for a while.’

“Yes, sensei.” Sakura said. If he told her not to, she would never use jutsu again.

“When did you teach her such advanced medical jutsu? Have you been keeping secrets Kakashi?” Guy-sensei said. Kakashi-sensei shook his head.

‘Well?’ He signed. Right, he wanted to know... Sakura avoided his gaze.

“A Thing... stopped your chakra… and it was all mixed in. Your…spirit...? Was trying, but it... because of the … Thing... I just... untangled until it went away.” That sounded awful... Maybe the bed could swallow her whole and make her disappear, then they wouldn’t have to deal with her. “Are you… okay?” Maybe she didn’t deserve to know. Was it okay to ask?

‘Yes, just tired.’ Kakashi-sensei said, ‘Thanks to you.’ She shook her head. She didn’t deserve thanks… using medical ninjutsu on someone’s head without consent. If they didn’t punish her, she would punish herself.

“Come on, let’s get home.” Guy-sensei said. She nodded.

Sakura slid off the bed, tears welled up faster than she brushed them away. Kakashi-sensei was really okay, standing and everything. If not for the bag under his eye, the beads of sweat on his brow, and the paleness of his skin, she might’ve doubted it happened at all. Stumbling forward, she hugged him and wept into his rough vest. It didn’t matter he didn’t hug her back, she didn’t deserve one. If he was mad at her and never wanted to see her again, or if he hated her, it didn’t matter.

“This is your fault.” His chest vibrated under her head.

“Fine by me.” Guy-sensei pried her off and patted his  back, he signed, “You’re in no shape to walk, I’ll carry you.”

“Yes, Guy-sensei.” Sakura said, climbing up. “I’m sorry.” 

After saying something to Kakashi-sensei, he hopped out the window and headed towards their neighborhood. It was nearing sunset, ribbons of red and violet hues backlit the village on the horizon. What day was it? If she was gone for more than a day, she was in serious trouble.

“Guy-sensei? Is… Mom home?” She whispered in his ear. He shrugged. “Is Lee okay?” He nodded. Sakura laid her head on his shoulder. “Thank you, I am sorry.”

Shut up, Sakura, he was busy enough without having to answer her stupid questions. In the street out front, he set her down. Should she ask him to bring her to her window? He already did so much, but she was locked out and wasn’t supposed to use jutsu. Maybe climbing was okay? Did it count?

‘Would you like me to walk you inside?’ Guy-sensei signed.

No movement in her house’s windows, no lights. Was Mom awake? Maybe if she was lucky, she slept in or went to work already. Belle hadn’t reported anything before she left. Did Mom have a day off today? Or did she still have to work tonight? Then again, maybe Sakura should stop trying to avoid a punishment she really deserved. Maybe it was better, getting caught. But... she was still wearing her swimsuit. If Mom saw that... Oh, where were her bags? She had a backpack and a purse when she left, right? At the hospital… Answer his question, stupid!

‘No, but thank you.’ She signed. Any punishment would be made much worse if Guy-sensei went with her. Besides, it wouldn’t be okay to bother him so much.

‘Are you sure you’ll be okay on your own? It’s really no trouble.’ He signed, giving her a smile.

‘I am okay.’ Did she look that bad? Maybe using up all that chakra was worse than she thought.

‘Alright, but promise me you’ll come over if you need me.’ Guy-sensei said, then swept her clear off her feet into a hug.

“Yes, Guy-sensei.” She said, “I am glad Kakashi-sensei is okay, but why was he like that?”

“Me too .” He answered. Another pair of arms wrapped around them. Lee! “ Alright! Group hug!” Guy-sensei scooped Lee to their huddle. There was so much hugging today! Their hugs were the best. He set them down.

“Why all the hugs?” Lee asked. Sakura shrugged and hugged him, melting into a puddle of goo. His were extra special. “Want to come over?” He signed after pulling away. Did Guy-sensei want her to? He nodded.

“Yes, please." She said.

If Mom asked, she was checking in with Guy-sensei. Or maybe helping Lee. Mom left a note saying to help him with anything he needed. Or both. Following them up the porch steps, she glanced back. If Mom looked for her, she would get dragged away... In front of them… she paused.

“Well... maybe I should come back later?” She asked. What day was it? She should at least check.

“Oh, okay.” Lee signed with one hand. “Until later!”

“Thank you, I am sorry.” She waved and walked back to her porch.

So exhausted… and sore. How did she not notice? Sakura looked up at her window. Kakashi-sensei said no jutsu. Did any type of chakra use count? Technically, walking on water wasn’t a jutsu, she was pretty sure. Right? Could she walk up to her room? Lee said it was the same concept. Focusing chakra to her feet, she stepped onto the siding. Cool! She walked up and onto the small, overhanging roof. That wasn’t so bad. 

Woah, her legs folded, she fell to her knees. Wobbly... wiping her brow, she stood and tugged the window down. Not locked! She clambered over and closed it, extra slowly. Hopefully that was quiet. Whew, her head was light, dizzy. Maybe that was a bad idea.

Sakura changed into her short, peach nightgown and matching shorts, kicking the swimsuit and dress into her closet. Maybe Mom wasn’t here. When she checked, her bedroom handle was locked. Well... She would wait and see. Dragging her comforter and pillow, Sakura laid on the floor. If Mom was home, she would let her out before she left, if not then she would let her out tomorrow. Pretty sure. 

So tired… she yawned. What punishment should she get for the hospital? No dinner for three days, and maybe grounded too. Then again, if she was grounded, she couldn’t help Lee with anything and Mom said to. Okay, grounded from everything except that. As sleep began to take her away, her door popped open. She sat up, yawning. Mom seemed to be in a normal mood, dressed in her uniform already.

“Hi Mommy.” She said, standing. Mom smiled and handed her a sticky note attached to a piece of paper. Her chore list, and helping Lee was on it.

Ungrounded for now.  Scrawled at the bottom.

Oh good, her door would be unlocked. Mom leaned down and sniffed. Uh oh, Sakura hadn’t noticed a smell. Mom frowned and glared at… the window? She stalked over and pulled it up. Oh no, don’t cry. It would make everything worse. Don’t. Cry. Mom took keys from her pocket, shut the window, locked it, then tested it again. It was secured this time. Who messed with it last? Was it Kakashi-sensei? Or Lee? She didn’t dare talk, if Mom thought something was amiss, she would know soon.

Pointing at the door, hand on her hip, Mom directed Sakura down the stairs. Was she in trouble? Or should she go make tea? As she reached the last step, Mom grabbed a fistfull of her hair and dragged her through the living room, shoving her over the hard, metal table. Wait, no please - Weak, her legs shook, she lost the energy to hold herself up, slipping when the hand let go. A sticky note was shoved under her nose. It had two words.

Pond water.  The scent -? 

Ah! Hard whacks struck her backside, swift and excruciating. Sakura couldn’t stop herself from crying anymore. It hurt so much, like she was being hit with a huge, jagged rock. Please stop! Slipping down, Mom jerked her back in place by her hair. Mommy, please... She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, just lay there, sobbing as spikes hammered her backside, legs and back. 

How long was she going to keep hitting her? Please, it hurts... Mom released her hold and Sakura collapsed to the carpet. Was she done? A sandal came down hard on her wrist, grinding. White hot pain seared down her arm, she went limp and bit her lip to suppress a scream. They might hear - Mom kneeled on her back, air forced out from her lungs, and held a paper to her face.

Was it Guy? Or Kakashi? Did they make you leave? You better not lie.

Sakura shook her head. No, no, it wasn’t their fault. It was all her fault, she was the bad kid. Kakashi-sensei and Guy-sensei were the best, they never made her do anything, never made her break the rules. There was something wrong with Sakura, she couldn’t stay out of trouble, couldn’t stop breaking the rules. Another note.

This is for your own good. I love you. Stay home. 

Mom moved off and Sakura nodded,coughing, struggling to sit up. Pulling her onto her lap, Mom embraced her, stroking her long hair, rocking her as she cried. It brought no comfort, instead Sakura felt hollow, like getting hugged by an imaginary friend. There’s something wrong with her... 

“I am sorry, Mommy,” She said, sniffling, “I am sorry.” She wasn’t sure what she was sorry for, but Sakura was so sorry. Mom pulled away and wrote more on the paper.

I hate punishing you, stop making me do it. Be good.  Sakura nodded, sobbing again. Then Mom was gone, heading out for work, mask in place. So many hugs today, and they were all so different.

Sakura curled up, exhausted, and rolled onto her stomach, head on her hands, letting herself blubber on and on, soaking the rug. Why? So pathetic, such a baby, can’t handle the consequences of her own actions. What was wrong with her? Her head throbbed, legs and backside sore and stinging. The rest of her was just ... empty. Chakra exhaustion. The phrase leapt into her head. How stupid, of course. She used up so much, maybe all of it. Was it possible? She should read about it more and find out. How long until it came back? Was she going to feel like this until then?

Ohh, she told Lee and Guy-sensei she’d come over. If she didn’t, they might come looking for her. What a mess... she never should’ve said she’d go. How stupid, making promises. Sakura grabbed the iron chair and pulled herself up, flopping onto the table. Oh, her wrist... bent at an odd angle, was it broken? No, just dislocated... Ugh, she couldn’t heal herself either, not that she deserved to. She was such an idiot. 

Standing on unsteady legs, she limped into the dark kitchen, panting, clinging to the walls and counters. Stupid, stupid. Finally, she made it to the sink and splashed cold water on her face, taking away the salty sting in her cheeks, then rested her head against the cool edge of the basin. Deep breaths... Okay. Move, Sakura.

She dried off and turned around, everything was so far away. It didn’t matter, one step at a time, even little wobbly ones. This was nothing compared to what Lee dealt with. Slowly, painfully, she made it to the fridge. Okay, this was a terrible idea, so many tiny bones and delicate ligaments, she could seriously mess it up, but what else could she do? Taking a deep breath, she pressed her hand against the counter and tried to gently maneuver it back into place, biting her lip as pain exploded up her arm. Leaning heavily against the counter, she panted and waited for it to subside. Okay...

Tugging open the freezer door, she grabbed an ice pack, slid down and laid on the tile, putting it on her wrist. Cold should reduce bruising, hold for about twenty minutes. They could wait that long, right? Hopefully. The chilly floor felt nice against her skin. An outline with a crutch walked in the back door and looked around. Lee! Sakura shoved the ice pack under the fridge. Don’t let him see… The light went on.

“Sakura?” He signed, tilting his head. “Are you coming over still?” Huh? Lee and Guy-sensei were so wonderful. Why did they hang out with her? She was so useless, a waste of space. Sakura stood, bracing against the fridge.

“Yes, if that is okay, if you want me.” She said. If not, she understood.

For some reason, she still wanted to cry. Just lay on the floor and cry all night. Leaning his crutch against the counter, he took her into his arms. Even as he suffered, Lee was so nice, she wouldn’t do that to him. He shouldn’t have to deal with her. His hands laced through her hair, so gentle, touching her with such care, like she was something precious.

She wasn’t. Did she fool him? It wasn’t on purpose... Lee was so beautiful, such a big heart, so full of ambition and love. He leaned down and kissed her, and all her pain was gone. The world faded, and it was just Lee, strong, warm, and safe. She pulled him closer, embracing him like a lifeline, keeping her from being swept away. She wanted to feel him, couldn’t get enough of his touch, to ground her in the moment, forever.


	20. Lee: Dawning of Fate

Lee sat across the kitchen table from Kakashi-sensei, who stared into his coffee looking like he needed a nap. With a stack of books, Sakura sat outside on the patio next to her clone, in a violet sundress. Dad moseyed around the kitchen, making more coffee... It was so quiet today. Kakashi-sensei got up and went out to Sakura, who stood to attention on his approach. Lee was worried about her, watching her take small, ginger steps, not reaching too far, not sitting or standing too long, favoring one hand… Kakashi-sensei tossed her the bag and she winced, dropping it. Was it from the Chakra exhaustion? An image of Sakura in her swimsuit, bruises fading under her fingertips … that night, sprawled out on her kitchen floor, clutching her hand... 

“Sensei... Dad… can I talk to you?” Lee asked. Even if it was normal, the marks had weighed on him ever since. 

“Of course! What’s on your mind?” Dad said with a smile, but it vanished when he saw Lee’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“When Sakura and I went swimming… well, is it normal for parents to… leave marks on their kids?” Lee asked. Did he phrase that well enough? Hopefully Dad would understand.

“Marks?” Dad asked, walking over. “What kind of marks?”

“Sakura said it was nothing, but it has been bothering me.” Lee answered, “She did not say exactly what happened, but I think... Ms. Haruno hurt her. There were bruises on her legs, and she said it was from a punishment. Is that normal? You have hit me before, but ... you never hurt me.” Should he bring up last night? Again, he pictured Sakura, eyes wet, clinging to him... “I think she hurt Sakura again, after the hospital, but I do not know for sure Ms. Haruno was the cause.”

“That is concerning.” Dad said, “Don’t you worry, Lee, if something untoward is going on, I will find out. In the meantime, stay close to Sakura.”

“Yes!” He could do that no problem! In fact, he hoped they could go on a date soon. Right! He would ask her today!

Outside, Kakashi-sensei crouched across from Sakura as she signed, shaking her head. He stood, making more gestures. What were they doing? Sakura hugged her clone, then -poof - a log. What? Substitution jutsu? But her clone went too?

“Sakura seems to be getting the hang of things.” Dad said. “Right! Kakashi and I are heading out.” He kissed Lee’s head, “I’ll be home tonight. Don’t overdo it.”

“Yes, I will be careful. I love you!” Lee said, waving as he left out back. Kakashi-sensei and Dad were gone in a blink and Sakura knocked on the glass.

‘Can I come in?’ She signed. He nodded and she kneeled beside his chair.

“Hey Sakura, are you busy today?” Lee signed. 

“Nno.” Yes! 

“How would you like to go on a date with me?” He grinned as her eyes lit up.

“Really? Hhow does it work? Do I neeed to change?” Was she thinking of dressing up? Sakura was so cute!

“You can wear anything you want.” Lee said, pointing at his jumpsuit. “What you have on is great!” Everything looked nice on her. Where should they go? Somewhere quiet without many people. Hmmm… Oh! “I know just the place!” If Sakura did not love his idea, he would walk two-hundred laps around the village!

Putting out his arm, Lee led them down their street and into the central part of the village. It was nice, holding her again, though slow going with his hobbling. Head laying on his shoulder, Sakura did not seem to mind. Ah, there it is! The walk was long, but it was worth it to see her face go from excited to ecstatic when she read Konoha Library  beside the double doors. It was so simple, yet she had never gone before! He tugged her towards the entrance.

“Wwe get to go insside?” She sounded so amazed! He nodded.

“Yes, and we can check books out to take with us.” Lee said. 

“Wwe can? Really?” Sakura squealed and kissed his cheek. Yes! This was his best idea ever!

Inside, through the carpeted entrance, was cozy warm and well lit. Overhead, rows of fluorescent covered lights chased ancient bookshelves well beyond their eye’s reach. Lee hobbled towards the Fiction labeled portion and browsed the shelves as Sakura searched the other side. How did Kakashi-sensei pick out books for her? Did he select them at random or had he read them all? Perhaps Dad helped? 

Come to think of it, almost all of her education had to come from Kakashi-sensei and his books. She never mentioned Ms. Haruno doing any kind of homeschooling... Did she learn things like math and history too? If Kakashi-sensei really did all that, he was everything Dad said and more! Perhaps Lee should have shared more of his schoolwork with her over the years. Finally, he selected a paperback, it looked interesting enough, may as well give it a try. Sakura tapped his shoulder, hugging three paperbacks, a tome, and two scrolls. Impressive restraint! Honestly, he expected at least double that.

“Aare these okayy to borrow?” She asked.

“I believe we can borrow anything.” Lee signed. “We can also stay here to read. Would you like to?” She nodded. Perfect!

Guiding her towards the back, they traversed rows of tall, narrow bookcases lined floor to ceiling with literature. Beyond was an area littered with rusty red cushy bean bags, sofas, and recliners. It was empty! They were so lucky! Taking Sakura’s hand, he limped to a couch, limbs stiff and sore from all the walking. Sitting down was probably a good idea. If he pushed too hard, getting home might be a problem. She snuggled under his arm.

“Is this okay?” She asked, looking up at him in a way that made his cheeks warm. Uhh... Lee gestured for her to move, then put his left leg up, laying sideways. Sakura crawled between his legs, laying on his shoulder. Perfect! “I have your medicine if you neeed it.” He did not. Instead of answering, he kissed her head. She smelled nice, like apples.

Alright! He could read with one hand and hold Sakura with the other! Lee opened his book, Tales of a Gutsy Ninja.  The plain, faded hardcover with black etched lettering stood out amongst the more attention grabbing titles and flashy images. Oh, the main character is named Naruto! How cool was that? Did Naruto ever read this book? Oh no, he is under attack, cornered! Go Naruto! Fight them! Lee could not help but cheer on the protagonist as he faced a challenge in the very first chapter. As he became more engrossed, Sakura turned over, using his chest as a table. Naruto was so cool! Very gutsy indeed!

“Oh, that author, I found one of his too.” Sakura said. Lee raised his book, she was already almost halfway through hers. No wonder she went through so many! Who was the author? Turning it over: Written by Jiraiya.  No last name? Weird.

“What is yours called?” Lee asked. Maybe she had the sequel. She showed him - Make-Out Paradise. Wait! The books Kakashi-sensei liked? He did not know exactly what it was about, but he did see the rating sticker next to the title: 18+. “Sakura! That book is for adults!” He whispered, holding his hand up. ‘Adults.’ Frowning, he signed again. An underage ninja should not be reading adult material! “You should put it back.”

“I thought… I am sorrry Leee,” She closed it, sitting up, a nervous laugh, “I amm so dumb, ssorry.” Standing, she knocked her knuckles on her head and headed back.

“Wait, Sakura-.” Too late, her back was to him. Lee grabbed his crutch and followed.

She was not dumb! Why would she say that? Where did she go? Ugh, his leg was asleep, moving even slower. Shake it out... Okay, this way perhaps? Walking down the same path they took earlier, he found no Sakura. Where did she find that book anyway? Perhaps it had been put in the wrong place. He shuffled down another row of shelves. 

They could go for lunch after this. It was probably about time for it, and this was a date after all. Where should they go? The ramen shop? That could be nice, but the seats… Or maybe they could picnic in the yard. Then again, Sakura never had ramen there before. Finding that book, it must be a sign from Naruto.Okay! They would go to Ichiraku’s ! He turned the corner, down another shorter row of shelves. Still, he could barely see over the top! Oh, there were sticker labels on the sides Author Names H - K.  This way!

“You should not be over here!” A woman’s voice. “Why do you have this?” Lee followed the sound, and heard a quiet sniffle. “Well, are you gonna answer me or just stand there and cry? Who are your parents?” 

Did anyone in the Hidden Leaf have any patience?At the end of the aisle, Sakura’s wrist was held by a tall, severe looking woman with honey hair and a nametag. Library Staff:  Emi. 

“She cannot hear you.” Lee said. Emi’s gaze raked his form, taking in the crutch and bandages. “I apologize. Sakura picked it up by mistake and went to return it.”

“I see. Well, that’s no excuse, there are drop off baskets all throughout the library.” She snatched the novel and released her. “See to it your friend pays closer attention next time.” Then stomped off. Lee sighed. He really should have explained the rules before they came in.

“I am sorry Leee.” Sakura wiped her eyes, cradling her hand. “Please don’t be mmad.” Mad? He was not mad, it was an honest mistake. The yelling was uncalled for! “Do yyou waant me to go?”

“Of course not, we are on a date, remember?” He signed, giving her his best smile, “Do you want to check those other books out?” She shook her head. Maybe next time. “Come on, lunch awaits! ” Lee held his arm out. Yes! She smiled! Victory!

Away from the library, past the shops, and to the restaurant district, Ichiraku’s was just ahead! Good, his leg was starting to throb, small pins sticking him with more gusto after each step. Looking around wildly, Sakura clamped onto his arm and tucked against his side as if to hide from the world. Would a picnic have been better? Though, it was helpful to lean on her. Was she doing it on purpose? No, she always stuck close when near crowds, and right now it was bustling. Not too bad for a weekday afternoon, but a lot for Sakura.

Ducking between the banners of the restaurant, he guided them to two shiny red stools in the far corner. It was odd for it to be empty, but all the better for them! As he sat, the relief in pressure on his leg made him sigh.

“Hey there, Lee.” He was greeted by the Chef’s daughter: Ms. Ayame, “Treating your girlfriend today?”

“Yes! Two please!” Lee said. His girlfriend! Sometimes, he still could not believe it was real.

“You got it.” Mr. Teuchi, the shop owner, said. A thought struck Lee as they waited.

‘Sakura, what is your favorite flower?’ He signed. Dad did tell him they were part of the key to a person’s heart and he never got her any! Why was her face so red? ‘Do you not have one? It is okay!’ Or perhaps she did not want to say.

‘I have a book about flowers.’ She signed. Of course she did. ‘There are so many! How do you pick one? There are special ones… What is your favorite?’ Special ones? Oh, his favorite?

‘I think you know I like the lotus flower. However I would say my very favorite is Sakura. Something about the name just speaks beauty.’ Lee grinned as she blushed, ‘What are these special flowers?’ Two bowls were placed in front of them, a hearty scent of rich broth curled up in steam, bathing hot noodles and vegetables.

‘The lotus is special... ‘ Sakura signed. Awww, Lee was going to burst, tempted to ask her why, to tease. Perhaps when they got home. ‘and dandelions, and pink roses.’ He would remember them!

‘Why those?’ He signed. 

It seemed like an odd combination, but he was no florist, perhaps Ino would know. Ugh, his abused arm was all sore and prickly. She shrugged, then picked up his injured hand in both of her chilly ones and brought it to her lips. Almost jealous of his own hand, he flushed as Sakura kissed each of his knuckles, soft, delicate lips against bandages and bare flesh, sending tremors down his spine. Bwah? Huh?

"Wwill you take your mmedicine?" She stroked his bandages, “Please, Lee?” 

Lee’s brain did not want to work. What happened to flowers? She kissed his hand, in public! Then talked out loud. In public. Wait, medicine? He nodded, then closed his mouth. It had been open, apparently. Smooth, Lee. Very smooth.Taking a small, white pill from a bottle in her purse, she placed in his palm and curled his fingers. Mr. Teuchi placed a glass of water beside his bowl.

“Better eat up before it gets cold.” Mr. Teuchi said, winking, then walking off to serve two Jonin who wandered in.

“Thank you.” Lee nodded and took the painkiller. 

Being a little sleepy would be okay. Perhaps he and Sakura could nap together later. Lee touched his bowl, it was getting cold. As usual, the ramen was tasty, with the right blend of spices and textures. As he finished his, Sakura tapped his shoulder, bowl about half gone.

‘Would you like the rest?’ She signed. Was it too much? ‘I am sorry.’ Huh? ‘Thank you.’

‘Not to worry,’ He answered, then finished off hers too. He was no Naruto, but he could eat his share of ramen. She never seemed to eat much, perhaps she did not need the calories.

“Thank you for the ramen!” Lee said, fishing out his wallet.

“You guys are too sweet.” Ms. Ayame said, clearing away their bowls and picking up his payment. “Careful with that, you’re going to give people toothaches.” She winked, much like her Dad, and walked off with the dishes.

“Uh, thank you?” Lee said, then stepped off the stool, Sakura at his side. Okay! Where to next? There was still time before physical therapy. “Is there somewhere you would like to go?” She shook her head. Okay! In that case, ‘Would you like to head back?’ She nodded.

Everywhere took so long to get to... No matter! They rounded the corner and down their street, crutch leaving brush strokes in the dirt. Arm around his waist, Sakura let him lean on her. It had been a lot of walking today, though the throbbing dulled. Drowsiness began to set in as she led him up the steps of his house, into the living room, onto their plush couch. Groaning, eyes drooping, he plopped down as Sakura took his crutch, then wandered off while he caught his breath. When had he started panting? She returned with a soft, wet rag, kneeled on the seat and wiped his brow. What did he do to deserve such a caring, wonderful person in his life? There must be something. Moving to the floor, she took off his sandals.

“You do not need to do that!” He signed, “I can get it.” But she already slid off his weights and leg warmers, stacking them beside his footwear, cool palms running down his injured calf.

“Please Lee? Wwe walked a lot todayy.” She said, kneading delicate muscle tissue with practiced hands. It felt so nice, he leaned back despite himself.

“Alright, only a little.” How could he say no? Massaging upward, Sakura moved to around his knee, then up his thigh. Beneath her hands, his muscles loosened and skin tingled. Lee’s face warmed and he caught her hand. “Uh, thank you, Sakura. Sit with me?” She climbed beside him and tucked against his side. Maybe they could sit for a while... 

Lee groaned and opened his eyes. Huh? What time was it? He glanced around for the quiet ticking of their wooden clock, but could not see it. How did they end up like this? Somehow, he was sprawled out on Sakura, who was snuggling his shoulder, arms wrapped around him, legs hooked around his waist. Stuck somewhere under her was his arms, he had a face full of pillow and pink hair, and their legs were tangled. Was he squishing her? She did not seem to mind.

How long were they sleeping? Nuzzling him, Sakura sighed, eyes fluttering open before falling shut again... A few more minutes would not hurt. Lee relaxed, appreciating her cozy, cuddly form, the scent of apples faded to a more delicate, floral note, the warmth of Sakura’s steady breathing against his neck. Best date ever! The clicking turn of the front door handle, then the suction of air as it opened.

“Lee? Are you and Sakura here?” Dad! Lee was probably late for his appointment, but how to-?

“In here,” He called, pushing himself up. 

Sakura stirred and smiled. His heart skipped a beat. Lush pink hair fanned around her head, shining light green eyes, delicate, kissable lips ... Her hands came up and laced through his hair, scratching his head. Ooh, what was that? Lee melted, sinking onto her soft chest, dissolved, weak against the onslaught. Wasn’t getting up his goal just now? Maybe in a minute, brain thinking work later. Hand nails are good things. He was puddle man now. Yes, moving bad... A chuckle from somewhere overhead unscrambled his thoughts. Right, Dad!

“Sakura, let him up, he needs to go to the hospital.” Dad said. The nice scratches stopped and he almost whined. Almost. “Today’s appointment is special, Lady Tsunade will be there!” Lady who? Lee dropped his leg off the couch and sat up. Sakura slid out from under him. It was so much colder now.

“Shee is in many medical books.” Sakura said, bringing his crutch.

“Thank you.”

“That’s no surprise! She is to be our new Hokage, a powerful, legendary Sage and superb Medical Ninja.” Dad said, with a thumbs up, “She wants to assess your injuries. There may be something she can do to help.”

“Really?” Lee asked, “Then let us go! Sakura do you want to come?” He really hoped so, but her face fell and she shook her head.

“I am sorrry Lee, but Mom will be awake soon.” Ah yes, it must be getting close to four. “But I wwill be here when yyou get back?”

“Yes, we will tell you all about it!” Lee smiled. “Do not worry!”

The assessment was devastating. Lee’s stomach twisted painfully. Give up being a shinobi? Never once did he consider it. Wandering the village, he tried to clear his head. Lady Tsunade was the best medical ninja alive and she gave him 50/50 odds. If he went through with it. Chance death against the only path he had ever considered? If he chose not to have the procedure, Lee would never regain full use of his left limbs and his ninja life would be over. How could he tell Sakura? His friends meant well, believing in his recovery as he encountered them around town. He was unable to tell them either. As the sun set on the horizon, Lee found himself on Academy grounds.

A wooden balcony stretched out from the school under a tiled roof; benches lining the perimeter. It was where new teams were sent to meet their mentor for the first time. In this very place, he vowed to Dad - Guy-sensei, to pursue his dream, a dream that was already considered impossible. His teammates, especially Neji, laughed and told him not to bother, that he could never make up in strength what he lacked in chakra. Dad never felt that way, encouraging Lee to push forward, since he was little. So he did, fueled by a desire to prove them wrong, to inspire others, and to protect his loved ones.

How would Sakura feel about him risking his life on such terrible odds? Did it even matter? She probably would not believe so, but she was wrong. What she felt mattered a great deal. Lee considered an ordinary life, perhaps he would get a cane. No matter what he decided, Sakura would stay with him. They could marry, get a house together, have kids, a dog… It was an appealing picture. Maybe they could open a bakery, and Sakura could make sweets while he made sales, and his dream would die. He could be okay like that, right?

Why was this happening to him? All he ever did was his absolute best and pushed himself as hard as he could every single day, believing it would all pay off! That it would mean something. Should he give all of it up? Or should he take the risk? 

Once upon a time, Sakura had her choice taken from her. No one asked what she wanted, an eight year old girl who got too close to kids playing with fire. But Lee had a choice… if one could call it that. Lee sobbed, engulfed in misery.

Dad found him, of course, knowing him better than he knew himself, urging him to flip the coin and go for the procedure. The pain and suffering he would endure for giving up would be a fate worse than death. He was right, what Lee needed now was luck. Luck… did he have any left? Already he was so lucky in life. With his wonderful amazing Dad, wonderful amazing whatever Kakashi-sensei was, and wonderful amazing girlfriend. 

Could he push it further? Dad believed his dreams would carry weight, that somehow his desire to pursue this path would grant him victory. If they did not, then they would die together. Die together... From the look in his eye, Dad meant every word.

Overwhelmed, Lee threw himself into Dad’s arms, buried his face in his vest and sobbed. Strong arms enveloped him. The same arms that held him for most of his life, through scraped knees, nightmares, moments of self-doubt... and times of celebration, getting accepted by the Academy, mastering the Hidden Lotus, the Inner Gates... 

Dad was truly the most amazing person he knew and Lee wanted nothing more than to be like him. They walked this Shinobi path together! He was too much like Dad to live a normal life. Droplets of memories splattered like a dream, forming an image. A haze of green ... running around outside the orphanage. He remembered being awestruck by the tall man with a dazzling smile who picked him up and held him, so close… warm and safe. Dad’s voice cut through the recollection and brought him back.

“And if that’s not enough to convince you, I’ve brought backup.” Dad said, smiling through tears. “I hope you don’t mind, but I talked to Sakura.” Did he mind? He planned to talk to her tomorrow.

“Where is she?” Lee asked. Was Ms. Haruno at work already? What would happen to Sakura if he and Dad were gone? Should he reconsider? The doubts crept back in. 

“Oh right, one second.” Dad said, then dragged Sakura out onto the porch from inside. She held a parcel wrapped in delicate yellow tissue paper and blue silk ribbon.

“What is this?” Lee signed. She got him a gift? What would possibly help right now?

“Ffor you.”

Lee tugged the ribbon, the tissue unraveled and fell away. Inside the little box was a photo of him adhered to the back of a square, compact mirror. He was smiling, caught unaware by the camera. Oh something was under it? Choking back tears, he held a thick metal frame, painted his favorite leaf green, dried and pressed pink petals glued around it. Inside, under the glass, was an old, thin wipe board with his own, childish handwriting: you can still become strong.  She kept it all this time! The words he gave her! Right, no more holding back! Lee wept, engulfed in his family’s loving embrace.

They clung together, sobbing, as if they would crumble if they let go. The night filled with chirping and beeping critters. A light in the middle of the pavilion turned on, indicating the late hour. So much love… everything would be okay. 

Tomorrow, he would inform Lady Tsunade, and undergo the procedure as soon as possible. Best to get it over with and start the path to recovery, from the beginning if necessary. He pulled away, wiped his nose, and held the photo of himself. He did not want to ruin the moment, but he had questions.

“Sakura, what am I meant to do with this?” Lee signed.

“The mirror doubles all it seess.” She answered, clearing her own tears, “So we will show it good things. On surgery day, we send darkness away.”

“According to Kakashi, she was busted performing banishing rituals outside the Forest during the Chūnin exams.” Dad said.

Sakura gave Dad a fierce look, which turned into an adorable pout. Banishing rituals? Lee’s heart swelled, overflowing with the love being sent his way. Between Sakura and Dad believing in him, the surgery would just have to succeed.

“Alright, I am ready!” Lee announced.


	21. Sakura: Teardrops of Thistle

Outside the hospital, Sakura kneeled near Lee’s recovery room window with a lit candle, a box of cinnamon rolls, his mirror photo, and a pile of rose petals. In a basket, lined and covered with baking paper, were a dozen decorated man-shaped cookies. More images of him couldn’t hurt. It was daytime, so the candle was redundant, but it might not work otherwise. This time, she opted for a silent chant. No need to alert people again, though maybe Kakashi-sensei would appear if she did.

The procedure was scheduled to end soon. Guy-sensei explained it, somewhat. Lady Tsunade was going to use Lee’s chakra network to revitalize the cells, a possibly dangerous technique that would activate them all at once. He would either make it out with a Shinobi future or not at all... 

Then again, who cares if people were alerted? Maybe they would join in. The book recommended four people anyway. Maybe she should go through it again. Guy-sensei said he would be okay, so he had to be!

“Negativity away, darkness away! Banished by the light of the flame!” Sakura said. She held the mirror up to the sun, “The mirror doubles all it sees, keep him healthy, safe, and free, so blessed be.” 

Someone tapped her shoulder and she jumped, definitely didn't scream. Probably. Lee! What? Already? How? She nearly fainted at the sight of him, leaning on his crutch, hiding a snicker, whole, not a ghost. Not a ghost? She poked him. Okay, not a ghost. Good, good.

“So this is what you were talking about.” He signed, gesturing to her mess. If not for the sudden dizziness, she would’ve danced. Careful not to squeeze, Sakura threw herself into his arms and kissed him like the world was supposed to end. Definitely not a ghost. Ghosts were not this warm.

“You’re here!” She said willing herself not to cry, kissing any bit of bare skin she could find. Vibrations resounded through his chest beneath her, his arm tightened around her waist.

“Yes, I am he re .” 

Guy-sensei was so certain, so sure everything would be alright, she couldn’t help but get swept up in his convictions, but she was terrified. Lady Tsunade, the Hidden Leaf’s new Hokage, must have incredible skills. If Lee was okay, maybe the village would be too. In her peripheral, Neji approached.

“I  take it the surgery was a success?”

Sakura jerked away from Lee as if he caught fire. Was it okay for Neji to know they were together? Was it okay for anyone to know besides TenTen? Lee didn’t seem to react, so it was probably good she let go. When she met his team, he didn’t seem to mind, but this was different. It was bad enough she was obsessive and clingy, he didn’t need his friends to know. While they talked, she cleaned up her ritual items, and collected the little basket of cookies and cinnamon rolls. Hugging it to her chest, she adjusted the cover so the contents were hidden. Lee might not want people to see his cookies.

Sakura stepped back more. Neji did not like her, not even a little and she didn’t want to inflict herself on anyone. Should she leave? Maybe she should leave. Lee might prefer to hangout with Neji right now. Then maybe he would like to go see his other friends, let them know he was okay. Oh no... Had she monopolized his time? She should’ve asked if he wanted her around this much. Or maybe she should’ve stayed away more. 

Whenever they were around, she tried to give them space. Was it enough? So stupid, she should’ve at least asked Lee about this ages ago. Instead, she spent as much time as she could with him. Stupid selfish idiot! How could she be so careless? It was too much and Lee was way too nice to say so. Why was she so stupid all the time? Apologies would have to wait. How should she leave? She had to at least say goodbye first, right? Even more people arrived, chatting. So many…

Stepping back, she tried to fit names to faces. Naruto, Shikamaru, Wolf, and another boy she found vaguely familiar, like she dreamed about him. He was round, and had little swirls of red on his cheeks. A clan tattoo? Cheek swirls! Flashes of a little boy in the field, flopping over, a voice whining for a snack. Sakura shook her head. Was he in her class too? Friends with Peter- Shikamaru… In his hands, he carried a bag of potato chips.

Chip… it would do for now. Did he remember her? Should she ask? Better not, they were talking like she wasn’t there, not giving her a second glance. It was probably for the best, it would be too much for Lee to translate all of them. The thought of such a thing made her heart seize. He would definitely want to be rid of her after something like that! It was way too many people! If Chip wanted to talk to her, he would.

Thinking about snacks reminded her about the desserts she carried. Maybe she should offer them to everyone? Then again, the cookies were all decorated to look like Lee. It might embarrass him if his friends saw… What was she thinking? How stupid, she could’ve made plain ones too! She should’ve known his friends would come see him today! And she couldn’t offer cinnamon rolls without displaying the cookies. Why was she so stupid? Couldn’t she do anything right? How did he put up with her? No no, stop shaking and don’t cry! Stop it! Moron… they might notice, or Lee might notice. Stop, stop! She clutched the basket tighter. Don’t draw attention!

Shifting and twitching like they were ready to bolt, Sakura got a sense of urgency from them, serious faces all around. Maybe it was normal for ninja? Naruto waved at her. Oh right, she forgot to ask... Lee let her go to the exam fights, but maybe she shouldn’t talk to Naruto again. Come to think of it, she never asked Kakashi-sensei for permission either. Not that he came around much anymore, once since the hospital, and he was there to see Guy-sensei. When he signed, she got the sense he was annoyed, but she never knew what he was feeling, not really.

Maybe she made him mad. Sad One might’ve been the wrong kid, he never said. Maybe she messed everything up. Maybe he hated her. Did Naruto tell Kakashi-sensei he talked to her? Or maybe she embarrassed him when she ran from Asuma-sensei. Or he was mad about what happened in the hospital? There were so many reasons to never speak to her again. Being fed up teaching an idiot was reason enough. Why would he bother telling her he was done? He had no reason to... She bit her lip to stop the tears. Now was a terrible time for this! So stupid.

Oh right, wave back. Naruto probably thought she was a lunatic, ignoring him when he was trying to be nice. Maybe she drew too much attention… she stepped behind Lee. They probably wanted to talk without dealing with her slowing everything down. It was pointless. 

Oh she wished she could pick out Lee’s voice. He had a nice… sound? No, sound wasn’t the right word. More like the shape of his voice? Probably not the best word either… It didn’t matter, it all became a blobby mess as soon as there was more than one person around. So she waited quietly in her thick glass jar.

Together, everyone started walking away. Should she stay or follow? What did Lee want her to do? Maybe she could leave? He looked around, then spotted her hiding behind him, as usual, and motioned for her to join. Okay... Staying a few paces behind, Sakura watched his feet, limping... If she tried to help him, would he be embarrassed? Would it interrupt their conversation? If she hovered too close even though she couldn’t understand, then Lee might get upset.

Lifting the cloth, she peeked at the desserts. Maybe she could pull off some of the decorations and they wouldn’t notice. Then sharing them would be okay. Or maybe they wouldn’t like them, and that would be worse. She held onto them and covered the basket. If Lee wanted her to, she would make desserts for his friends another time. Asking was much better than guessing wrong.

They stopped at the main village gate and hovered in a circle around Shikamaru. Why here? Were they leaving? A mission? Probably but… with this many people? Kakashi-sensei said squads of four were ideal, though the Academy book said three. An arm wrapped around her shoulders and she jumped. Oh, it was Lee. He pulled her in, watching his friends talk amongst themselves. Wasn’t he talking too? His mouth stopped moving. Sakura couldn’t resist and rested her head on his shoulder, face aflame. Was it okay? People could see them, people he knew. Maybe they would think she helped him stand. Was that okay?

He didn’t seem to care, paying more attention to the conversation. Watching his expression, she wrapped an arm around his waist. Was it okay? No change, he didn’t move or look at her or anything. Nor did he push her away… he would, right? Maybe not. Maybe he would tell her later not to do it again, so it wouldn’t make a scene. She pulled it back, just in case. With a flurry of movement, everyone leapt single file into the trees. Staring after them, Lee gripped her harder and seemed to deflate. Something important happened and he couldn’t go help.

“Lee?” She called. He looked like he just remembered she was there.

“I want to attempt the stairs.” Huh? From this angle, even watching his lips, what did he say? … stairs? Wasn’t it too early for climbing? Lee let go and started towards the monument. Oh no! That was a whole lot of stairs! She ran to catch up.

“Is it really okay?” She asked. If she outright argued, he might tell her to leave, then what would she do? It was definitely way too soon. Even if performed by a high level medical ninja, it was rarely recommended to start normalcy so soon after leaving the hospital.

“I must get stronger, I have to start right away.” Lee said. 

She tried to stay close, but even with a crutch he walked faster than her. Mist? Must? G…? Gibberish! It may as well be! Was there something up the stairs he wanted? She would get it for him if he would say what it was. 

Usually he faced her when he spoke, using strong expressions and body language with signs and gestures. Maybe she depended on it too much? But what else could she do? Maybe he didn’t care right now, maybe he wasn’t talking to her. If only Guy-sensei were here, he would know what to do, but he wasn’t due back until sometime tomorrow. Before he left he gave her an important task.

“Watch over Lee for me, okay? I have to go on this mission and I won't be back until the day after. I’m counting on you, Sakura!”

Of course she agreed. Some job she was doing now! Guy-sensei was going to be so disappointed... Oh and now she was crying! Great! Like it would help! Lee reached the steps and stood there a moment, then placed his crutch against the rail. The stairs went to the top of Hokage Mountain! She had to stop him, even if he was mad at her. It was far too much too fast! Reaching, she touched his arm.

“Lee, wait, please.” She pleaded. With one foot on the step, he turned those big, dark eyes on her. “Please…”

“Sakura I-” He stopped, head swiveled to look behind them. Lady Tsunade approached, concern etched across her made up face.

“Lee, it’s too early for this.” She said, hopefully talking sense into Lee.

Most women’s voices were difficult, like Mom and her friend’s, but maybe if Sakura concentrated, she could follow some of it. Lady Hokage wore bright, shiny pink lipstick. It seemed to help with other women, so maybe? Hopefully? Or not. Lady Tsunade picked up Lee’s crutch and handed it to him, then gave him a little white bottle. Did Sakura see the word ‘training’ on those painted lips? Clever, turning this recovery into a challenging act of perseverance.

But… Lee’s passion and burning need to push forward, to fulfill his heart’s desire, was a call difficult to deny. When he had half a mind to do something, nothing could stop him. Except maybe Guy-sensei, who could stop anything. Giving her a salute, Lee smiled. Oh thank goodness, he listened! Sakura could collapse with relief.

However… Lee wouldn’t be put off for long. Patience wasn’t something he had in abundance. Moving was as necessary as breathing for him. He needed it, itching for a quest like a storybook knight. A very attractive knight with an amazing smile, perfectly silky hair, beautiful dark eyes, and a heart of gold. Was he always this wonderful? Probably, but she was too dense to notice. Glad that’s over. Did he know? A hand waved in front of her and Sakura flushed. Lee caught her staring!

He pointed. Oh, Lady Tsunade was talking to her, mouth moving way too fast. Was she getting yelled at? It was hard to tell. It was probably rude to daydream about your boyfriend when getting yelled at. Heh, her boyfriend, Rock Lee. Such a sweetheart... Stop! Stop being stupid and pay attention! The Hokage is talking. Okay. Oh no, she ignored the Hokage! Such an idiot!

“Iammssorry.” What was that? Was it words? Hopefully? Lee and Lady Tsunade both stared. 

Okay, maybe it wasn’t words. Sakura ducked behind Lee, but he hobbled away, leaving her with the full scrutiny of fierce chestnut eyes. If only she could stop shaking, or hold Lee’s hand? But he went away, he must not want her touching him. Instead, she hugged herself and bit her lip. At least don’t cry in front of the Hokage... 

“She’s your gi rl friend? How cute!” Lady Tsunade said. 

“Yes!” Lee said, grinning. At least he looked happy and not embarrassed or angry.

“So this sk ittish little thing is the one whocure d Kakash i?” Skittles who Kakashi? Did he like candy? Not cherry though.

‘Sorry Sakura, I will translate from now on.’ Lee signed. Oh, no, please don’t, it was too much. She shook her head, but he frowned. ‘I insist. Besides, Lady Tsunade is talking to you.’ But why? She was nobody. Ignoring her protests, he translated anyway.

‘Come by my office, I want to see those healing skills.’ What? Sakura didn’t have healing skills. What was she talking about? ‘What’ve you got there?’ He pointed at the basket. Should she answer? Lady Tsunade picked up one of the cookies, inspected it, then returned it with an odd look.

“Le t's head on back.” She waved and walked away.

“Right!” Lee said with a thumbs up. So sweet, helping her talk to people. Wait, the Hokage saw Lee’s cookies. Was he mad? Apologies welled up in Sakura’s throat, but she also wanted to tell him how wonderful he was. There weren't enough words for it all.

“Sakura, I am sorry if I was ignoring you.” Lee signed. She shook her head. He did not need to be sorry. It was her fault for not trying harder.

“Can I hug you?” She asked. “Please?”

“You never have to ask, you can hug me any time.” He signed. Embracing him, she cuddled as close as she could and sighed, breathing him in, a spice she didn’t recognize mixed with hospital cleaner. He held her, resting his head on her shoulder. The more he touched her, the more her nerves settled and she never wanted to let go, but… she had to talk to him.

“Lee… can I ask you about some things?” She said, pulling back. 

“Of course! Ask away!” He signed, then guided them back towards the hospital. Such a perfect smile... What was the question? Or was there more than one? Maybe she didn’t need to ask anything, and they could cuddle for a while. It was so, so tempting... What happened? Right, right, his friends, and Naruto.

“So ...” Great start, Sakura. “Do your friends know? I mean, about us? I was just wondering... for when they are around... What should I do? What is okay? Or- or should I leave?” 

She swallowed hard as his back tightened and he stopped walking. That was more than she meant to say. Was he mad? She shouldn’t have said anything. It was rare for him to be really angry, but…

“Sakura.” He signed, facing her. “You do not embarrass me and you never will. I love you and I do not care who knows it, okay?” 

Leaning down, he kissed her, brief, soft, gentle. Warmth pooled in her cheeks and her knees felt weak. People knows it, Lee said it was okay. Did noise just come out of her? Hopefully it wasn’t weird.

“One day, I hope you see yourself as I do.” They walked on, entering the woods behind the hospital.

“Can I ask another question?” Hopefully he wasn’t annoyed, stopping every time to talk... 

“Ask as many questions as you like.”

“Is it okay if I talk with Naruto sometimes?” She asked. If he said no, it was okay. Maybe Kakashi-sensei would say no too. Lee stopped.

“Sakura…” He deflated.

Moron! She shouldn’t have asked, should never have said anything! Now he was upset and she couldn’t take it back. If Kakashi-sensei ever came back, she should’ve talked to him first! So stupid! Why didn’t she think of that? Then if he said no, she wouldn’t need to bother Lee. And if Naruto never talked to her again, this was pointless.

“You do not need my permission, you can talk to whoever you want.” Even if they were his friends?

“I am sorry.” She said. Tenten outside the hospital... Maybe one more question. “But… what if… someone wants a hug?” She should really stop now. Lee covered his face. Looking to the sky, he seemed to ask the clouds for strength. 

“Okay, I have a simple solution! I promise, if you are okay with me doing it, then it’s fine for you!” It wasn’t the same, she didn’t have other friends. How would she know what’s normal? But… he looked so happy... No more questions.

“You are too good for me, so beautiful and wonderful and perfect. I love you so much!” She gushed. He laughed.

“I am far from perfect. However, I am the Hidden Leaf’s Handsome Devil.” He grinned, striking his pose as best he could. Laughing, she put the basket down, and hooked her arms around his neck. How did he always make everything better? And with so little effort?

“Well, Handsome Devil, are you leaving?” She asked. His smile faded.

She knew it! The minute she went home, he was going after his friends! Whatever happened must be important. It wouldn’t be right to ask him to stay, it wasn’t her place. All she could do was plead for his safe return. One day, her heart would give out from worry alone. Maybe she should take up meditation.

“If you go, please be safe, please come back, Lee.” Sakura refused to cry, refused to look at his injuries to remind herself how risky any strain might be...

It didn’t work. Tendons stretching between bones and muscles, nerves woven, interlaced blood vessels ... she shoved the images away. How far did the jutsu go? How much had he recovered in an afternoon? They were in unknown territory, nothing like this had been performed in Konoha history. He could be throwing it all away - Stop it, stop it! Lee knew what he was doing, he knew his body, she shouldn’t be so pessimistic.

“I promise.” He signed, “I love you too much to leave for long.”

How? How could he keep such a promise? How could he be so sure? Frustrated, she kissed him, she had to show him. To show him how her heart would ache when he left, a desperate gnawing agony plaguing her with worry and helplessness. To wait and wait and wait ... a unique torment haunted with uncertainty and dread. If it would help bring him home safe, she would show him every bit of it, an urgent plea. Could he sense it? 

A gentle wetness on her lips, she opened her mouth and invited his answer. Sweet lemon tea and heat, gentle at first, then intense, Lee’s arm around her waist sculpted her against him. The world spun and she grasped his biceps to steady herself. One hand moved around her head, holding her as he quelled her tongue with his promise, passionate and fearless. She dissolved, a weak concession, powerless against his resolve. How could she have doubted him? Never again. Lee pulled away, breathing as hard as she was, and smiled.

After walking Lee back to the hospital, Sakura raced home, and left the basket on Guy-sensei’s patio. Slowly, took off her sandals, dropped them outside, and snuck in the back door, then pulled tea from the cabinet. Any moment, Mom would appear, she was cutting it close. Turning on the kettle, she found the canister and her favorite mug, then watched for steam... Okay, off the burner, pour the tea, wait five minutes... Add cream and sugar, then done. 

Mom rounded the corner and Sakura stepped back, just in time. Whew... whack! A blow knocked her to the floor. Wha-? But what did she do? Grabbing her hair, Mom dragged her to the door, and shoved her face onto something crunchy. Leaves? Oh no… when she took off her sandals, she must’ve- Mom kicked her side. No, please -

“I am sorry Mommy, I will clean it up.” She sobbed, curling up, a stabbing pain as more blows sought her ribs. She didn’t mean to, she stayed with Lee for too long. It was her own fault, she should’ve gotten back sooner. 

Then the kicks stopped and Mom walked away. Slowly, she stood, half bent, and reached for the broom. It hurt, the motion to sweep, but she had to. Mom returned, dropping her mug in the sink and watched her clean, leaning on the counter, green eyes filled with disgust... Sakura didn’t blame her.

By the time Mom left, it was dark. Sakura gathered the hidden basket and trekked back to the hospital, a long and slow journey, to Lee’s recovery room window. Would he still be there? Please still be there. Oh, it hurt to jump. Summoning Belle, she gave her a boost, and climbed up, onto the sill, half falling inside. It was open, Lee was already gone, pillows stuffed under the blankets. Oh Lee... it wouldn’t fool anyone. What should she do? Never doubt him again.

‘Transform.’ Sakura should look like him, in full hospital clothes, and laid in his bed. At least she wouldn’t have to fake pain, her sides hurt so much… hopefully no one talked to her. Couldn’t fake hearing... A nurse came by, patted her shoulder, then left. Lee… please be okay. Curling up, she cried into his pillow.

The next day, she couldn’t meet Guy-sensei’s eyes when he arrived to check on Lee’s status, releasing the transformation. It wouldn’t fool him anyway. If he hit her, she wouldn’t blame him, he should beat her for not telling. She deserved it, but he didn’t. Instead she would have to punish herself.

“It’s not your fault, if Lee was determined to go, you couldn’t stop him.” He signed. The concern on his face was worse than any punishment she ever received. She left, at least he wouldn’t have to look at her anymore, and went to the village gate.

Carrying her bag and box of cookies, Sakura plopped in the grass across from the wooden check-in booth for visitors, where two guards sat. One approached, brown hair flat and to his shoulders, hiding half his face, headband worn like a bandana. Was he going to make her leave? Retrieving her notepad and marker, she wrote him a note.

Please let me stay, I promise not to bother anyone.

“Listen, we can't just let you sit here all day.” He said, “It ’s against the rules .” The other guard walked over, spiky black hair bouncing, a bandage across his face. This couldn't be good.

“What's up? Bubblegum, you causing trouble again?” He said. Bandana held up the note. Were they going to make her go? Tearing out another page, Sakura added more.

Please?  I made cookies if you want some. Maybe they liked sweets? Hopefully? Spike added to her note, Bandana looked alarmed, reading over his shoulder, and they argued. Oh no, anger was bad. It made everything worse. Were they going to turn on her next? Was she in trouble? Shrugging off his partner, Spike held the paper out. She flinched; wait, take the paper. Right?

Of course you can stay, don’t worry about this guy. What kind of cookies are they?

Unwrapping the paper, Sakura held out the basket. They could have them all, even if they made fun of her decorations. Lee would be back and she had to see that he kept his promise.


	22. Lee: Strawberries at Daybreak

Exhausted, Lee and Gaara half carried each other all the way back home. It was a long walk, but the sight awaiting him was worth not taking breaks. Inside the village gate was his pink-haired angel, candle lit, petals strewn about, wearing one of his light-blue, long sleeve shirts. Even that looked good when she wore it. 

Sakura put out the candle and ran to him. Yes! A loving embrace, the perfect welcome home gift! With anticipation, he opened his arms, but she stopped short, sharp eyes falling on Gaara. Wait, they did not know each other, right? Lee never mentioned her, only Dad, whom Gaara so rudely called a mother hen. Yet, he seemed to recognize her, unsurprised and staring right back. How could that be? As far as he knew, Sakura was not told the source of his injuries. Unless Dad told her? Why would he do that?

“Hello, deaf girl.” Gaara said. So he did know Sakura! How? When could they possibly have met?

“Hhello, Ssandy,” She signed, sticking her tongue out. That was mild, perhaps she did not know. “I amm glad you are okay, I wworried for you.” Wait, she spoke to him? Just like that? Why was she worried about him? When did she make friends with Gaara, of all people? “Aare you ffeeling better?”

“Yes.” Gaara said. Very… concise. Her feet unglued and continued forward.

“I probably stink.” Lee signed, but she hugged him anyway. 

Yes! Sakura hugged him anyway! Absolutely true love! She smelled amazing, like fresh strawberries. He and Gaara were a mess, dirty and ragged, smelling like sweat, mud, and … did bones have a scent? Maybe Sakura would know. 

“You do.” Gaara said. Well, he would know.

“Do eeither of you need a hosspital?” She asked. With Neji, Choji, and Naruto all injured, Lee did not want to take up more medical ninja. All he needed was food and rest. While not at his best, the procedure left him more rejuvenated than he expected.

“I do not.” Lee signed. Gaara shook his head. “Okay! Then Gaara, I would like to invite you to my house for a meal and a shower.” Sakura smiled, so she seemed okay with that.

“... Okay.’ Gaara said while Lee guided them forward. As Sakura left to collect her things, Gaara’s gaze did not leave her for a moment. She may be beautiful, but that was a lot of staring. Should he be concerned about this?

“So when did you and Sakura meet?”

“Before the finals.” Gaara said. Was he being cryptic on purpose? Perhaps not, he did not seem the type. Before the finals… a whole month, but for much of it, Sakura was at his house. Was Gaara at his house too?

“Where?” He asked, as Sakura caught up to them. 

They must look like an odd trio, walking down the street Sakura tucked against his side and Gaara on the other. He suppressed a giggle, he was a Lee sandwich. Could she have bumped into him around town? No, she did not go into town, except when she walked to the hospital with Shikamaru and Kiba? Did they run into Gaara? 

“Wwant a cookie? It is nnot too swweet. Doo you hhave any food aallerrgies? There aare no nnuts in it.” Sakura said, handing them out.

Why did she sound so nervous? Awww a cute little him again! And they tasted even better than last time! They were so cute and delicious! With her skill, they really could open a bakery someday. It could be a bakery with a dojo! Holding up the treat, Gaara looked confused and sniffed it. Perhaps he liked the scent?

“No.” Gaara answered, shaking his head, “The hospital.”

Hospital? Oh right, his question. That sort of made sense, Sakura was there often, but when was Gaara there? Did he get hurt at one point? ...Not likely. Perhaps he visited someone and met her in the halls. Biting off the head, Gaara poked the cookie some more. Well, all of his friends were strange in one way or another! At least he no longer watched Sakura. 

Avoiding downtown, Lee led them on a shortcut, through a few yards, around fences, and into their subdivision, an older area often overlooked by tourists and travelers. Normally he would not condone traveling through property like that, but their neighbors were kind and waved as they passed by. Their little corner was aged, small, and rough, but he adored it. Already unlocked, he opened the front door and invited them in.

“Right this way! Gaara, you can shower first.” He said. Sakura went into the kitchen as Lee led him up the stairs to the bathroom, across the hall from his room. “Wait here.”

Entering his room, Lee searched for clothes and pulled out a shirt and pair of pants. Eh, they could all wear his clothes for all he cared. Hmmm, then again Gaara was smaller than him. Surely Sakura would not mind helping? In his closet, he rummaged until he found a pair of her leggings and added them to the pile. Hopefully Gaara would not mind the navy blue colors, but at least he had options. 

“Here you are!” He passed them over, then rustled up a fluffy towel from the hall closet and stacked it onto the clothes in Gaara’s arms. “I will be downstairs if you need anything!”

“...Thanks.” Gaara said, then went into the bathroom.

“You are most welcome!” Lee said, grieving him a grin, then met Sakura in his kitchen.

“Wwhat would yyou like?” She asked.

“Curry?” He asked. Maybe Gaara liked curry too. She nodded while he pulled out a pot from a lower cabinet. 

“Oh, pleasse rest Leee, I can mmake dinner, I rememmber hhow.” Sakura pleaded. 

How could he say no? Sitting in his chair, he watched her move around the familiar space. Aches from the fight set in, especially his left arm and leg, but if he mentioned it, Sakura might worry. Should he take more of the medicine from Lady Tsunade? A swallow remained in the little white bottle, but he left it alone. It did not seem to help last time. Perhaps it was slow acting? He would have to ask Dad.

“Iis it okay if I loook you over? Pleasse?” She asked, adding the veggies to the pot. 

Setting the sauce on low, she kneeled in front of him, and rested against the chair. Though he was not gone for more than a few days, she was a vision he dearly missed. If not for Gaara, he might not have returned home to his Sakura.

“Of course you can.” If it would ease her mind to heal his bumps and bruises, he would let her.

Sakura started at his feet, encircling his ankles. A heat flooded from her palms into his skin. Woah, he had been healed by medical ninja before, but this was different. So strange… It was almost uncomfortable, not painful exactly, just… odd. What was she doing? Had he ever been healed by her before? Not that he could recall, it had always been massages. Well, he trusted her, she would not help if she did not know how.

“I amm glad yyou’re okayy.”

“Thanks to G-A-A-R-A, I was able to keep my promise.” Lee signed. Switching between legs, she moved upward, but when she got to his stomach, she winced and let out a pained noise. Sakura? Did this hurt her somehow? That would not make sense, would it? “Sakura?”

“He - he iss your ffriend?” She asked with a strangled voice. Had he got hit there? Inside, his stomach loosened and unclenched, an indistinct pain he hadn’t noticed evaporated. Normally he could not feel anything from the medical jutsu itself, they would tell him when he was better, he would test the area, and that was it. Was this how she healed herself?

“Yes.” He answered, “A new friend.”

Moving up his sides, stopping at a bruise here, a cut there, she fell quiet and he watched. Biting her lip in concentration, nimble hands tracing his jumpsuit, soft blush hair draping down her shoulders and back in a messy waterfall... How was she real? His skin pulled together and blood flow returned, like being stitched by an invisible, painless needle. Next were his arms.

“Iiss it okay that I hhave your shshirt? I should hhave aasked, I’mm sorrry.”

“Sakura, you are welcome to my wardrobe anytime you wish. In fact, if you wanted to wear my shirts more often, that would be… nice. ” Lee signed. He mostly wore jumpsuits anyway and his clothes looked adorable on her. “Oh, uh, I may have offered Gaara your clothes without asking.”

His hands took a long time to heal, he was punching bone after all. Kimimaro... they still remembered the impact, pounding against the dense, white weapons. It was a tough match. As she worked, Sakura kissed his knuckles, brushing her cheek against bandages like a little cuddle. Heat rushed to his cheeks. She must like his hands, but why? Always covered in bandages, rough scars and calluses from years of taijutsu training. Hers were much, much nicer. Soft, delicate hands kneaded his, warmth fading to a chill. Was she finished? Standing, she touched his face. Was his face hurt? Her fingertips were hot and smooth as they traced a line across his cheek.

“I do not mind.” She answered, then yawned. “Ssorry.” Healing must tire her, but at least she was finished. Suddenly she embraced him and squeezed. “I’mm so glad yyou’re home.” It must’ve been nerve wracking, the worry he put her through. Standing, she kissed his cheek, then stirred dinner. “Wwas it okay I gaave SSandy, I mmean Gaara, a cookie?”

“You are free to share your desserts with anyone, you do not need my permission.” Lee frowned. Why did she need his permission?

“But…even if they were Lee cookies?” Sakura asked. He could think of only two reasons why this might be an issue. One: Lee cookies were for Lee, or two: eating his likeness could be strange.

“Yes!” He said. “Your desserts are delicious, and I would love it if you shared them with the world!” Lee gave her a thumbs up, to let her know he meant it. “And Sakura? Thank you for healing me, I feel much better.” 

“O-of course.” She turned an adorable shade of red. How did he get so lucky? Approaching her, Lee hugged her as she stirred the pot, nuzzling her silky cheek with his; she dropped the ladle, leaning back. Closing his eyes, he held her, reveling in the unique calm she brought, like nothing else mattered but the moment.

Gaara wandered in, dressed in Sakura’s leggings and Lee’s green fleece, and hovered near the table. In such an outfit, he looked less like the terrifying Hidden Sand Shinobi and more like a little mopey kid. Lee released Sakura and set the table with bowls from the cabinet.

“Welcome back!” Lee said, smiling. “Please sit with Sakura until I return!”

Managing the stairs was much easier this time. A hot shower was everything he needed, washing away the grime and sweat of the last few days with his citrus shampoo. Refreshed, but tired, he found getting dressed took longer with sore, stiff muscles. Tossing on a green t-shirt and black sweats, he headed down.

In the kitchen, gourd aside, Gaara sat in his chair, arms crossed, tea steaming on the table, as Sakura kneeled and ran her palms down his arm, a light sheen of sweat on her brow. Was Gaara hurt that much? Or was she still tired from healing Lee? An outside chair had been brought in, leaving Dad’s seat for Lee. A hot cup of tea waited for him, an aroma of jasmine and coconut-curry spice filled the room.

What did they talk about? Or did they sit in silence the whole time? Moving to his chest, Sakura paused, then moved away, Gaara still stared at her, expression … curious? Now, with the two so close, Lee could see similarities: shades of red hair, green eyes, similar skin tone- if he did not know better, he might assume they were related. It probably helped that they were dressed alike. Or perhaps it was just him. He thought he and Dad looked alike, but according to Tenten, they did not.

“I llike yyour teeth.” Sakura said when she got to Gaara’s head, “Verry white.”

“Thanks.” Gaara said.

Best friends in the making! Absolutely! Lee grinned as he sat down. They were so cute all dressed up in his clothes! It was like they had a dress up as Lee day! Now if only he could get them both into the jumpsuits… The image was too much! A youthful trio in green, having a slumber party... Lee was going to cry. They had to have a sleepover one day! Perhaps they could spar, or play tag, or race, or - 

“Leee, currry is ready.” Sakura said, serving them each a bowl. Though he tried not to let it show, Lee was exhausted. Even the thought of helping wore him out.

“I hope you like curry, Gaara. This is my Dad’s recipe, he taught Sakura and I to make it when we were little.” Lee said. Right, to keep Sakura from being left out, he would translate! Though, it looked like she paid close attention.

“Thank you.” Gaara asked, then took a bite. “Are you two siblings?” Lee choked on his tea.

“N-no, though I understand why you may think so.” he signed. “Sakura and I did grow up together. She is my girlfriend!” His insides did a little dance, he was able to bring it up. Sakura was his girlfriend!

“I see.” Gaara said. Was there any disappointment there? It was hard to tell, he spoke in such a flat tone.

“I ssort of told yyou.” Sakura said, then shrank when they both looked at her. Not as comfortable as Lee thought.

“You said he was taken.” 

Now Lee was more confused. Did Gaara hit on him? Memories of their battle and outside encounters cycled through his head. No, he did not believe so. Then again, with Gaara’s lonely, sad history and Sakura’s... Sakura, Lee was the most socially adjusted person in the room. Now there was a strange thought.

“I would really like to hear the story of you two meeting.” Lee said, “It sounds like an interesting one.”

“SSa - Gaara needs to wwork on his hugs.” Sakura said, hands fluttering as if to sign, but not quite able. Hugs? What? Did he hug her? Was this related to Sakura’s questions?

“I came to your hospital room to kill you.” Gaara said in his monotone, matter of fact way, “I met your deaf girl there.”

What? Lee slept through the whole thing? Did Gaara try to hurt her as well? Why did Sakura not tell him sooner? Had she kept it a secret on purpose? They told each other everything, right? Gaara could have easily killed them both, or just Sakura. Painfully, his stomach twisted and he set down his chopsticks. No, that was a different Gaara, a lonelier one. This one was his friend, who rescued him from Kimimaro. Even so... 

“Again, I am not one to hold a grudge.” Lee said, in case there was any doubt. “However, I am curious, what stopped you?”

“Many things.” Gaara sat back in his chair, “She tried to take your place, it confused me, then your … friends arrived, and your Sensei… He confused me as well.” An odd chill dripped down his back. Sakura did what?

“Uh, I mmade cupcakes too, if a-anyone waants.” Sakura said, not meeting his eyes. “I wwill get themm.”

Head bowed, looking like she got tattled on, Sakura went over to the tray on the counter. The door rattled open, then slammed shut. Dad was home! Yay! Wait, Gaara said he was at the hospital too, was it wise to invite him over? No, Dad would not hold a grudge! Why did Dad not tell him what happened either?

“Lee? Are you home?” Heavy footsteps traversed the hall and Dad appeared in the kitchen doorway. Sakura retrieved another bowl and chair. “There you are! When you weren’t at the hospital … nevermind, I’m just glad you’re home safe.” Crossing the room in a blink, he swept Lee into a big hug, tears wetting his face.

“Dad!” Lee kissed his cheek. It was so good to see him! All they needed was Kakashi-sensei and everything would be perfect!

“You two get over here,” Dad signed, waving an arm. “Group hug!”

Dragging a hesitant Gaara, Sakura ran over. Was he afraid of Dad? It made sense, Dad was crazy strong, but he was also a teddy bear! Did Dad stop Gaara at the hospital? They got scooped up, squeezed together, and swung around, then after being released, he swiftly dealt each of them a knock to the head.

“Wha-?” Tears formed in Lee’s eyes.

“Oww.” Sakura rubbed her head and sniffled. Gaara looked stunned. Where was his sand? Did he forget?

“Lee, that’s for running off without permission and endangering your recovery. Sakura, no more vanishing acts, young lady, I mean it. As for you, Gaara... I’m sure you did something to deserve it.” Dad said. “However, you did help out my Lee, so you get an extra hug!” Aww, Lee wanted an extra hug too, but he would accept Sensei’s punishment. “You’re alright in my book, Gaara! Now let’s eat!”

“I am sorry, Dad.” Lee said, sitting down and adding to his notes Dad’s words of wisdom. Recovery is important, no running off without permission .

"I amm ssorry, Guy-sensei.” Sakura added, lip trembling. Vanishing acts? Did she sit at the gate the entire time? How did she convince the guards to allow that?

“...” Gaara looked bewildered, but not unhappy? Had he never gotten scolded before? He did not even do anything to deserve it. Then again, Dad would not lie, so there must have been something. The hospital perhaps?

“All is forgiven!” Dad said, taking a bite, “You guys did a great job on this curry!”

After dinner, Lee and Sakura escorted Gaara to the gates to meet with his team, a bag of his dirty clothes in one hand, cupcakes in another. Since they had no time to launder, Lee insisted he keep the outfit. It was only polite. The Sand ninja greeted Gaara with dropped jaws. That was rude, he had to shower after the fight. Did they expect him to put his dirty clothes back on? As the trio exited through the gate, a three day journey ahead, they waved. Perhaps they could keep in touch, like pen pals. That would be nice. Beside him, Sakura bit her lip and wrung her hands. May as well get this over with.

‘Are you angry?’ She signed, fingertips against her stomach. Angry did not fit what he was feeling, but no other words seemed to either. What was it?

“No, but why did you not tell me?” He signed, “And what did he mean, take my place?” Glancing at the gate guards, he sighed, “We should talk elsewhere.”

“Yyes.”

From the sniffling behind him, he imagined she was crying already. No matter what the reason, he hated it when she cried. Did this conversation need to happen? Could he let go of the incident without discussing it? The idea of Sakura putting herself in harm’s way on purpose, even to save him... Protecting her was his forever promise, not the other way around.

But… How could he fault her for protecting someone she loved? Somehow that was not it. Why did this feel so different? Would he have done the same? No, in her place, he would have fought until his dying breath, indeed giving his life should it be necessary. But, according to Gaara, Sakura did not fight at all. Why give up so easily? Was he missing something? A hot and uneasy conflict settled in his gut and he sat at the base of a tree to rest. What was this other feeling? Across from him, Sakura kneeled. The mystery feeling reared, torturing his throat with a thick ball.

“I did nnot know howw to tell you.” She said, gripping his borrowed shirt, wiping her eyes, “I am ssorry, Leee, I never wwanted to keep anything from yyou.” He swallowed hard.

“But… taking my place?” What else could he say? He was not even sure what he wanted anymore, this whole thing got away from him.

There was something else, something pushing alarm bells in his head, telling him this was not the question he needed to ask. What was the right question? Questions… Sakura had a lot of them lately. Did she embarrass him? Can she wear his clothes? Can she talk to his friends? Can she be seen with him? Could she hug him? Was it okay to love him? To be with him, to spend time with him? Had being together made her self doubt worse? Were these two things related? Lee tried to sooth her distress, tell her the dark whispers were wrong, but it was not enough. The questions still came. What was he missing? Was she always this insecure? Why did these questions come now and not before? Was he oblivious for years?

No, that was only half right. Before recently, she hid from everyone, rarely left home, or even their street. Spoke to no one. To be with him, near him, she went to the hospital, therapy appointments, meeting more and more people... The questions often came after those times. What he thought was a minor fear of being judged for her voice was much, much worse. Were there more questions she did not ask? How often was she uncertain and said nothing? Her hair was long, down past her hips, still had not gotten it cut. Kakashi-sensei brought her lessons, Ms. Haruno did the shopping, and… punished her. For what? The bruises still haunted him, but Dad never brought it up again. Perhaps it was nothing after all.

‘I was so scared he was going to... ’ She signed. Lee forgot the question, lost in his mental gymnastics, trying to unravel the girl before him. ‘Please Lee, I mourned you, I am not strong enough to do it again. You are important, people need you.’

That feeling ate at him, whispering the unspoken: she was not strong enough, but he was, people needed him, but not her. What could he say to that? To let her know it was not true? When Lee wrestled his self doubt, his darker self, the echoing voice who called him failure, Dad stomped it and told him to keep going, his dreams were possible because of his unbreakable spirit. It was all Lee needed, to have his uncertainty shunned by reassurance, someone who believed in him. Training his inner self, as well as his outer self. At times, the scornful voice returned, chipping at his confidence, dragging him down, but eventually he cast it away with rays of youth and tomorrow’s promise, splitting the truth from the lies.

Somehow, telling Sakura to believe in herself did not seem like it would be enough. Part of him wanted to hear her dark whispers, to know what was said, the other part did not know if he should ask. What did she avoid? Never him, but other people. People who were not Dad, Kakashi-sensei or himself. Well... unless he was training, perhaps thinking he wanted space. Did she avoid Ms. Haruno? 

What else? Talking aloud… unless she had no choice. He tried getting her to speak to Tenten, but it did not work. Was Gaara the only stranger to hear her voice? Still, something was missing! What was it? Why did Sakura have all these questions? Why did she think so little of herself? Did there need to be a reason?

“Iamm s-ssorry, Leee.” Sakura said around tears, between rapid breaths, “I amm sorry, I wwill nnever do it again, I will do better, but I’llleavve, if-if you waant. I am sorrry, no s-ssecrets. Aask aanything, pleasse, I’mm ssorry.”

Oh no! How long was he quiet for? What she must be thinking from his silence! Reaching, Lee tugged her onto his lap, cuddling her as she wept. Melting against him, Sakura let him support her, leaning on his strength. The last thing he wanted was more tears. If he could make it so, she would never cry again. He held her until her breathing calmed and the sobs stopped, then he kissed her, sweet and slow, caressing her precious lips with his, running his hands through her beautiful hair.

“I love you, Sakura.” Lee murmured against her lips. No matter what, she was loved and cherished, even if she felt undeserving. If he had to, he would spend the rest of his life convincing her she was. It was a promise.


	23. Sakura: Weeding of Illusions

Dear  ~~ San ~~ Gaara,

How are you? Sorry if this is strange, or unwelcome, but I wanted to see how you were doing. Lee is doing really well, making lots of progress and getting stronger and stronger every day! I hope you are too. If it's not okay to write, please let me know and I’ll stop. Can we be friends too? If not, please let me know. Or don’t, if you don’t want to. You can ignore me if you want, not that you need permission. Sorry. I mean. How are you? Please tell me about yourself, I’d like to be friends. Lee said it was okay, since you’re friends with him.

“Just a little spar?” Lee signed across from Sakura at the training grounds. Too impatient to be trusted, Guy-sensei asked her to monitor his light training. He knew his own limits, he just ignored them. “A short one?”

“But - they said…” Sakura had to be stuttering, but couldn’t help it! Why did Guy-sensei trust her with this? 

“Please Sakura? I’ll keep it light, I promise!” Lee said, delivering a dazzling smile. Not fair! No! Ugh, it was so hard to deny him anything. Did he know the power he held? If not, hopefully he never figured it out. Sparring... she was so not a good partner.

“Alright, Lee…” She gave in. When did she practice last? Hopefully her lessons would come back when they started. 

“Yes!” He signed, jumping in the air in victory. Composing himself, Lee fell into his stance, one hand in front, knees bent. Oh, his serious face was too adorable, dark hair blowing in the gentle breeze. Couldn’t they just cuddle together in the shade, under the tree… “Sakura?” Right, the spar. Did he add a challenge to this? If he lost, he’d do too many things… No chance of that. Okay, okay, focus. Sakura put her hands up, and turned to the side, keeping relaxed. “Interesting position.”

“Kakashi-sensei taught me,” She shrugged. Was it weird? Kakashi-sensei probably assumed she wouldn’t need to use it. Why did he ever bother? Sakura still wasn’t sure. “I don’t know Lee, maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”

“Why not?” He signed, “Please Sakura? Dad will not let me spar against Neji yet, and I need to practice.”

“Okay, but this will probably be too easy for you.” She said as he put his stance back up. A training dummy would probably be more of a challenge.

This would not be fun, Sakura was nervous. Even not at his best, Lee was an amazing fighter. Not that he would hurt her, but... some of her was still recovering too and she didn’t want to lose the transformation jutsu. If he landed a hard enough blow… He gave the signal and ran at her. Woah, okay, deep breath, remember Kakashi-sensei’s training. Almost always, his opening is left kick or right punch first. Ah! She blocked his right, then latched onto his forearm. A pain in her wrist - such a heavy blow for only practice! With a quizzical look, he yanked and freed himself, turning into a backflip. Remember to breathe. Okay, okay, okay - woah! She dodged a kick.

‘Shadow clone jutsu.’ Belle grabbed Lee’s waist from behind, but he spun and dropped her with a hard kick. Aww, poor Belle. On her again! Where did he get all this energy?

‘Shadow clone jutsu!’ Two Belle’s this time, attacking his sides with her clumsy mix of Lee and Kakashi-sensei’s taijutsu. Pathetic and sloppy, compared to Lee’s honed, polished moves. As he popped one Belle, she dove for his ankles. So much for light sparring.

‘Earth Style: Headhunter jutsu.’ Beneath them the ground turned to mush and swallowed them. 

Around Lee, she solidified it, trapping him. Maybe. Shifting the earth, Sakura dug to the surface and climbed out into the sunshine, sitting on her knees, sneezing. Aww, she was all dirty now. Kakashi-sensei never got all dusty when he did it. Doubled over, soundless giggling, Lee was waist deep in loose soil. Well…that’s not right. Mean dirty … dirt… earth thing.

“Ah, ah choo!” She shook her hair out, a cloud of dust puffed.

“Bless you.” He signed around laughs. “Sorry, I promise I am not laughing at you. You are just too cute!” He thought she was cute? “Okay, here I come again!” Breaking out, Lee freed himself. Uh oh!

‘Substitution jutsu.’ Swapping, Belle dodged the blow as Sakura appeared behind him. Popping her, he whirled around. “Stop it!” Before his kick touched her, Lee froze. Okay! Grabbing his leg, she pulled him off balance and climbed onto his chest, pinning his arms. More or less.

“Sakura,” Ohh, that was definitely a whine if she ever saw one. Did she do it wrong? “Why did you yell at me?”

“Kakashi-sensei told me to?” She said, shrugging. He also said to go for the eyes, but this was Lee. “He said ‘use your voice.’” What else could he have meant?

“I see, so this is part of your technique?” Lee asked. She nodded. “Well, in that case.”

Wait, danger... Aah! Suddenly, Sakura was flat on her back, Lee on top of her. Putting her hands out, she held up his shoulders. Ouch, maybe not a good idea, so much for using jutsu. Grasping at air, his fingertips brushed her sleeves. Well okay, she could deal with this maybe. Especially the view… such a cute, loveable face… soft hair, big, serious eyes ... How could anyone not love him? Caring, kind hearted, sensitive, thoughtful, so perfectly him... Why did he like her? He could probably have any girl he wanted. Why did he pick her? He did, right? That wasn’t a dream? Such a serious expression... Oh no, her cheeks were hot and she couldn’t cover her face! Was she all red? 

“You’re beautiful.” She said. A red tint spread across his face, down his neck and he slackened.

“Are you messing with me again?” Lee asked. So expressive, always speaking clearly for her. Sakura let go and he caught himself on his elbows.

“Not a chance.” She kissed him.

This was so much nicer than sparring. Plush, warm lips against hers; vulnerable in a way she couldn’t be with anyone else, under his sweaty, solid weight... A rush of bubbles, she was floating, arms around his back, pulling him flush against her. Was she making any sound? Did her voice escape? A warm, orangey spice prodded her tongue, insistent and tender as rough, bandaged fingers stroked her cheek. His hands… she leaned into the touch, powerful enough to burst stone, such a contradiction to his inner softness. Sweet scented grass spun under her, she was dizzy, drowning in a sea of calm. Under her hands, his hair slid like water, silky... Did he love this as much as she did? Maybe he wished they were sparring still. Should she stop them?

Then he was gone, jerked away. Huh? Wha- Kakashi-sensei! In one hand, he held a nervous-looking Lee by the back of his collar, then set him down. Straightening out her dress, Sakura stood. Of course he would choose now, of all times, to talk to her again. Was she in trouble? Was he going to leave again? Was he angry? It was always hard to tell with him and his bored expression. Should she have asked him first? Back in the Coffee Room, she sort of did… kinda… nope, no way he’d buy it.

‘No, no, none of that.’ Kakashi-sensei signed. ‘Nope. I don’t need to have a talk with you two, do I? No, nevermind, not my job. Sakura, let’s go, time for class.’

“Yes, Kakashi-sensei.”

Class? Really? It was okay still? Kakashi-sensei turned a dark eye at Lee, who stiffened. Was he talking to him? What was he saying? That mask was so unfair. Then again, they were just … if he didn’t want her to know, then maybe fair. Was it okay for her to leave? Maybe Guy-sensei would be angry... but Kakashi-sensei already walked away, so she followed, waving at Lee.

They didn’t go far, into the secluded pond area where Lee taught her to swim. Taking a ribbon from her bag, Sakura pulled her hair into a messy bun, adding pins. What did he want to do? It could be anything. Before... usually she’d have to demonstrate or explain what she learned from the books, but it’s been so long... Of course she kept up with her studies, but what did he want her to do? 

Maybe he didn’t want anything, and he would tell her he was done being her teacher. Hopefully not, she really missed him. Fidgeting, she folded her hands and waited to be addressed. Did he miss her? No, of course not, why would he? Stupid, he had more important things to worry about... 

He turned the page of his book. Maybe he was finishing a chapter? He must love to read, at least the one book. What else did he like? She wished she had the courage to ask. Putting it away, he sat down and motioned for her to join. Were they just going to talk? Maybe a test?

‘So, you and Lee.’ He signed. ‘How’s that going?’

What? Why did he ask that? Did he want to scold her now that they were alone? Maybe this was a trick? Were his clones hiding somewhere to attack? Or maybe Guy-sensei sent him to talk to her. Maybe he doesn’t want her with Lee after all, but didn’t want to say so. Kakashi-sensei wouldn’t even hesitate.

‘Lee is the best,’ She signed. What was he looking for? Was there something specific? What did he want her to say? Hopefully she could figure it out. Kakashi-sensei was the most straightforward cryptic person ever.

‘Really?’ He asked. Was it hard to believe? Probably... Lee was great, but he asked how they were, which meant her too. Why did Lee like her? All she did was cause trouble. ‘Sakura, do you know why I teach you?’ No matter how many millions of times she asked, an answer never appeared. ‘Go ahead and tell me.’

‘You’re bored?’ It seemed the most likely, but he didn’t move or say anything. Was she supposed to keep guessing? ‘Guy-sensei asked you to? To practice teaching? I don’t know...’ Still staring… please stop. Avoiding his eye, she shrank, ‘To upset my mom? So I don’t bother anyone?’

What was it? Why did he bother? There was no point, it’s not like any of it would ever be put to use. How could she ever be a doctor? Being around strangers, understanding them, was impossible. Lots of ninja covered their faces so even if she got really good at lip reading, it wouldn’t be enough. Mom was right, she would never be enough. … Lee would be so disappointed, to see her like this, she hated disappointing him. Always giving her this look, like he was lost… filled with such distress. Why did she let this happen? Such an idiot, why bother thinking when she was always wrong? Couldn’t even control her thoughts... she should do as she’s told, then she’d at least be useful. These thoughts weren’t going to help anyone. Was she crying? How stupid. Useless. Pathetic. Crybaby. Crybaby! Kakashi-sensei poked her shoulder and she jumped. Didn’t he leave? But… she couldn’t give him a reason to stay.

‘Sakura, come back,’ He signed. ‘Good, welcome back.’ Good? What was good? ‘We’re going to start a new kind of training.’

‘New training?’ Sakura asked, wiping her face. ‘But I thought-’ Wasn’t he done with her?

‘Yes. Now, pay close attention, got it?’ She nodded, ‘Good. Despite what you’re thinking, you are worth teaching. Say it.’ Huh? Out loud? ‘Say: I am worth teaching. Easy, right? Go on.’

A ball formed, blocking up her throat as Sakura opened her mouth. Nothing came out, she couldn’t make the sounds. Say she was worth teaching? Why? It wasn’t true, but he told her to, so she should. Why was it so hard? Try again... but she choked, the lump grew painful, locking away her voice. Why? Why wouldn’t it come out? Something happened, maybe, but it felt strangled, stuck, like it wasn’t words. At least not the ones he wanted. It was such a simple, easy task! Why couldn’t she do it? Such an idiot... Shaking her head, tears ran down her cheeks and she hugged herself, avoiding his gaze. Great, crying again. It didn’t matter, she couldn’t do it. Was he going to leave now? She failed, utterly. Why would he stay? Couldn’t follow the simplest order... 

‘Sakura, I’m not leaving and I won’t threaten to.’ Kakashi-sensei signed, ‘We’re going to work on your anxiety. I want you to do exactly what I tell you.’

‘Yes, sensei.’ Sakura signed, relaxing a little. He wasn’t leaving her today. Unless he changed his mind.

‘This might be difficult. Are you ready?’ Kakashi-sensei signed. Was she? Ready for what? She nodded. Tugging his headband, he revealed his Sharingan. Oh, this might suck. ‘Relax, and look into my eye.’

When Sakura blinked, she was surrounded by distorted, blurry people. A full moon hovered overhead in a starless sky. Standing, she brushed dirt from her dress. Among them were many familiar blobs: Neji, Wolf, Pretty Hair, Sunglasses, Naruto, Sandy, Tenten, Shikamaru, Chip, Mom… They ignored her, walking around and around. Sakura hugged herself. This was a genjutsu, but it didn’t matter, they may as well be real. Why did they look like that? It was almost like… she stuck her hand out and hit a hard barrier. Glass. It surrounded her. Her very own thick glass bubble.

What did Kakashi-sensei want? The wall was there, genjutsu or not. Peeling off from the group, Lee walked over, mouth missing. Lee was here! Stepping towards him, she pressed her hands to the glass. Oh… no hugs then... Broken notes, fragments of sound... Was he talking? What was he saying? Why wasn’t he using his hands? 

More people walked over, a low rumble bounced outside the glass, shaking it. Were they all talking? Was this supposed to scare her? This was normal life. Putting his hands on her shoulders, grip tight, Lee glared, brows pinched. So the glass was one way… of course it was. She cradled her hands against her chest... don’t let him see... What was he saying? Was he angry? He looked tense. Like a puzzle being put together, his mouth formed.

“Why did you leave? I told you to stay home.” He did? When did he say that? Why should she stay home? Right, she caused trouble when she went out. A low, rough rumble tore from his throat, fingers biting into her shoulders, and he shoved her. ‘Stop following me around all the time! Go home and stay there!’

“I am sorry, Lee.” She should go. Tears threatened to fall, but she shouldn’t cry. This was her own fault for hounding him all the time.

Wolf joined him, with Sunglasses and Pretty Hair, all talking at once. Sakura tried, she really really tried, but she had no idea what they wanted. Lee rolled his eyes.

‘I do not have time for this, I should be training. They are tired of helping you, if you would stay home, they would not have to.’ He signed, ‘This is embarrassing.’

Please stop... Please Lee, he didn’t mean it, right? Could they be done now? Even though it wasn’t real, this was too much, her heart couldn’t take it. The trio walked away, she’d never bother them again. Did Kakashi-sensei get what he wanted? But no, next Naruto appeared, a sour expression on his bright, happy face. Blue eyes hard and narrow, he crossed his arms and moved his mouth.

‘I suppose you need help with this one too? Well too bad, you are on your own. Figure it out, I have work to do.’ Lee walked away. He was right, this was not his problem.

“I am sorry, Lee. I’m sorry, of course, I will figure it out.” Sakura said to his back.

“I  changed my mind, no way I'd be friends with someone like you .”

It was no good. Did she have paper? No… Wait, yes. She took it from her hip bag and handed it to him with a marker. Ripping it from her hands, he crinkled it up, disgusted, and threw them at her, scattering papers and markers everywhere, stomping off. Sinking to her knees, Sakura picked them up, hugged them to her chest, and cried. She should disappear, then everyone would be happier. Mom knew all along… she was the only one who’d put up with her.

“How pitiful .” Tenten said. Shikamaru, hands in his pockets, cast a moonlit shadow, frowned, and walked away, taking his silhouette with him. What was the point of all this?

Guy-sensei’s blue sandals and orange legs stepped into view. No, no, please no! No more, please, she shook her head, couldn’t do anymore, please not him... Anyone else, anyone, please… Her heart cracked and splintered under his irate scowl, so out of place on someone so loving. She wanted to sink into numbness, to fade away, to stop existing.

‘My Lee deserves better.’ He signed. No, he said it was okay, didn’t he? Did he lie? No, he never lied, she misunderstood. ‘All you do is interfere. Don’t come over again.’

“Yes, Guy-sensei, I’m sorry. I won’t.” She said. Whatever he wanted. Better than anyone, he knew she was worthless.

Was Kakashi-sensei showing her how people really felt? A horrible, sinking feeling ate at her as the next pair of feet appeared. Oh no, no, no... Scattering tears, she sobbed and shook her head. Please no, not him either! Please… Kakashi-sensei… don’t say it, she didn’t want to see him leave again, the one person who’d vanish without a trace or a backward glance. 

Maybe he did hate her, maybe this was her punishment for making him hate her. Standing, she turned and bumped right into a second Kakashi-sensei. Red eye glittering, his chilly hands swung her back around. No, she didn’t want to! Please... She tried to turn away, to hide, but he held her, hugging her trembling form against his chest. Had he been there this whole time? The Other Kakashi-sensei, who could only be described as glacial, signed.

‘You-’ No, she wouldn’t look! Kakashi-sensei tilted her chin, she was shaking so much, soaking his gloves with her blubbering. No, please…

‘You know there’s a reason I won’t let people see us together. You called us secret friends. You think we’re friends? That’s a good joke, tell another. Well, I guess it would just be you. Thanks for the laughs.’ He waved a dismissive hand and left, shattering her weakened heart. Sakura collapsed, a sobbing heap in Kakashi-sensei’s arms. Any second he would vanish too, but instead he kneeled and held her. Why was she like this? Such a pathetic mess.

“I’m sorry, sensei, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry…” She repeated into his jacket. He barely tolerated her as it is, one day he would realize how pointless it all was and stop coming.

Why was he still there? Shouldn’t he have left? Kakashi-sensei didn’t disappear, he let her cry, getting his jacket all soggy, rubbing her back. Hopefully he wouldn’t be too mad… If he was, she deserved it. Why didn’t he hate her? All the time she made him waste on her, years of tutoring, he tried so hard, but she was just worthless, a stupid cry-.

“Sakura,” A voice? What? No way... She heard her name, didn’t she? Pulling away, Sakura looked up at Kakashi-sensei. One eye a gradient of gray, the other red and scarred… That must have hurt. Was he okay? It looked healed now, but- “You can’t hear me, not for real, but we’re not using your ears.”

Not using her ears? Oh, right, this was a genjutsu, which meant this was a trick played on her chakra network, bypassing the nerve damage altogether. How clever. Closing her eyes, she fell against his vest. Was this what he sounded like? Or was this how she imagined he sounded? Genjutsu... To hear him speak, even if it wasn’t real, was a gift she never expected. 

“Please talk mmore?” She asked his shirt. Such a nice voice, she could listen to him forever, more soothing and warm than she imagined, almost soft. Wait, she could ‘hear’ herself? That’s what she sounded like? How weird… 

“I don’t mean to be cruel.” He said. She nodded. This wouldn’t last, that was okay. Why was she so exhausted? Did this drain her too? Why were they here? Was she allowed to ask?

“Ssensei, why - ?”

“Come on, we should keep going. We’re going to talk to Lee again.” Lee was coming back? But he said he was busy. “Turn around.”

“Yes, Kakashi-sensei.”

The outside brightened a little, like the moment before dawn. Lee was nearby doing one handed pushups, because of course he was. Standing, Kakashi-sensei tugged her to her feet. Holding his hand, she bit her lip.... he didn’t seem to mind, unless he did and didn’t want to say. Just in case, she let go, but he took it back.

“Don’t do that.” He said. “Come on.”

“W-wait, what if he doesn’t waant to?” She asked, breath caught. What if he didn’t want to be interrupted? What if he told her to leave again? It would be worse, since he’d told her once already…

“Sakura, relax,” As if his will alone was enough, her panic subsided, “Now, let’s think about that.” Kakashi-sensei squeezed her hand. “Has Lee ever actually told you to leave before?”

“...” She tried to think of a single time. “Nno...” Hearing herself was so strange, nothing like she imagined. Did she always sound like this? Or was it only in here?

“What is Lee like?” Kakashi-sensei asked. What was Lee like? He was a lot of things.

“Wh-what do you mean? Lee is a ssweetheart.”

“Okay, what else?” To describe Lee to someone... Where should she start?

“Hhe has so much e-energy, like...hmm…” 

Sakura could list traits: hard working, funny, kind, thoughtful, stubborn... but it seemed so inadequate, little puzzle pieces that fit into his personality, but didn’t complete the picture. It was why she relied on words like amazing and wonderful. 

So many days and nights spent together... playing in the yard, daydreaming, laughing at nothing, getting into trouble, dancing, talking, cuddling, eating sweets, sneaking out to stargaze... She was lucky to have him in her life. If Kakashi-senesi asked, she could write a book on what Lee was like.

“That might be a bit much, just do your best.”

“Wwell… Lee always d-does his best, but hhe can be sstubborn about it when he’s injured.” She said, watching him exercise. “Hhe gets so f-focused on training, everything else d-disappears. Other times he can’t focus at all… he’s sso kind and funny and sweet…” She ended up listing anyway...

“All of that and more huh?” He teased, “Now, does that sound like the type of person who would say any of that?” She shook her head, “So, what’s most likely going to happen?” Why was Kakashi-sensei leading her like this? It was so strange, but there must be a reason for his method.

“He will... “ What did Lee do whenever she interrupted him? Gave her a hug, usually, and told her it was okay, even when she needed help. “Hhe won’t be angry.”

“Right, come on.”

“Yes, sensei.” Lee would never really say any of that, but she worried anyway. Why did she? Jumping to his feet as they approached, he waved, looking normal with his usual sparkly grin.

“Want to train with me?” Lee asked as Sakura leaned against her teacher. Was this what Lee sounded like? Since they were little, she hadn’t heard him speak anything but fragmented, jumbled noises. So different from what filtered through the glass. Speaking of, it was gone. When did that happen?

“We’re here to say hello.” Kakashi-sensei said. Oh, they were? That seemed like a bad idea. Maybe they should train, otherwise they might have to leave. “No, it’ll be fine.”

“Hello!” Lee smiled, big and sparkly. Oh, my - that voice with that smile - Sakura tried not to swoon. Get a grip! He’s not even real and Kakashi-sensei was right there! Right, Sharingan, too late. Mortified, she hid her face in her hands.

“Time for a break.” Kakashi-sensei said, and when she uncovered her face, they were back in the training area, Sharingan hidden. 

Her mind felt off, like she had woken up from a long, lucid dream… strange... Kakashi-sensei was in her head, learned so much about her, but he was still here. In her head… oh! All of that was from her… the leading, it was so Sakura would change the genjutsu! Was he disappointed she didn’t figure it out sooner?

‘You are a natural genjutsu type, you know. We’ll work on honing that next. How are you feeling?’ He signed, eye crinkled into his funny, kind smile. How could she ever have doubted him? No matter what, somehow he managed to make time for her eventually. She tackled him in a hug, knocking them both onto the grass and pecked him on the cheek. Kakashi-sensei was the best!

“I miss your voice.” She said as he sat them up. “Thank you for letting me hear it.” And Lee’s. “Why do we do this? Why do you teach me?”

‘How do I put this?’ He pointed at his hand, ‘At first, it was a favor to Guy, you were right about that, but now I don’t believe you should’ve been pulled from the academy. I wasn’t there then… You have potential.’ He paused, then added, ‘My other kids are gone, all with new teachers, so we’ll have more time now, my secret student. How does that sound?’

“I am sorry about your kids, sensei.” Sakura said. Poor Kakashi-sensei, she was his only kid left... What happened? “But... thank you so much!” Was it okay to be this happy when his kids would miss out on such a great teacher? 

Dear Sakura,

Thank you for the letter. I am doing well, adapting to my new philosophy. My people need time to accept me. I understand, and I will keep working to prove myself. Lee has told me he likes to dance. You can write to me, and we can be friends. Yes, it is okay. I’m not going to ignore you. I am still doing well. What do you want to know about me? I suppose I am friends with Lee too. He has decided this.

~Gaara


	24. Lee: Chasing a Glimmer

Dear Gaara, 

How are you? I hope your training has been going well! Will you tell me about it? What are your favorite exercises? Mine is the handstand push ups, and running, and I like the one handed push ups, and nunchuck practice. Do you use any weapons? Oh and dancing! Sakura loves to dance too. You should try it sometime! It can be a fun workout! Did you like the cookie? I forgot to ask and Sakura wanted to know. When are you going to be around the Leaf Village again? Please come back soon!

~Lee

From an overlooking balcony near the base of Hokage Mountain, Lee watched Dad and Kakashi-sensei decide their challenge for the day. Beside him, Sakura rested her chin on the railing, lemon sundress ruffling in the cool spring breeze, shivering. Why was she never dressed for the weather? Rubbing her arms, Lee tried to warm her up, since he had no jacket to give. Neji and Tenten were there, but complained the whole time, so why did they come? Perhaps they secretly thought the challenges were epic! Today was Kakashi-sensei’s turn to choose. No matter how small, they were always amazing to watch. Eating contests, races, spars, tug of war, arm wrestling... anything could happen!

“Can’t we skip this today?” Kakashi-sensei asked.

“You don’t mean that! Come on, do your worst!” Dad said. Yes! No way he could ignore such an opening!

“Ehh, I don’t feel like choosing, why don’t we let the kids pick this time?” Kakashi-sensei suggested, pointing up at them. What? Surely they would not create a challenge worthy enough.

“Hmm... it’s supposed to be your turn, Kakashi. You’re not trying to shirk your duty as my rival, are you?”

“It might be good for them, maybe there’s something they’re curious about.” No way! Dad was the best at everything, and if he was not, then he would be better next time, and then he would be the best!

“Alright, let’s find out.” Dad said, then turned to the balcony, “Lay it on me!”

“This is juvenile.” Neji said, “I’m not dignifying it by participating.”

“I don’t have any ideas.” Tenten said, ‘What about you two?”

‘What’s going on?’ Sakura signed.

‘We pick the challenge.’ Lee said. ‘Any ideas?’ Sakura shrugged. Hmm… What took skill and practice… ‘Sakura? What about our dance? We can do it, then see who can copy it the best!’ Biting her lip, she glanced at Neji and Tenten. Did she not want to?

‘Okay.’ She nodded. ‘Let’s ask them?’ Yes! He would get to dance with Sakura again! It had been too long. And Kakashi-sensei and Dad got their challenge! Win, win!

“Okay!” Lee signed, then leaned over the rail, “We challenge you to replicate our dance!”

“Seriously?” Tenten shouted.

“I take it back, let’s do rock, paper, scissors.” Kakashi-sensei said. 

“I accept! A dance battle it is! A most youthful suggestion, Lee!” Dad said with the thumbs up of approval. “And if I lose it’s two thousand squats under the waterfall!”

“There you go again…” Kakashi-sensei said with a sigh, but also a smile.

“Come on, Sakura,” Lee led her down the stairs. Alright, adding dancing to his training would finally pay off! Surely she practiced as well, since she seemed to love it so much. “Are you ready?”

“I have regrets.” Kakashi-sensei signed.

“Ready!” Dad said. Right! Tapping his wrist, Sakura counted down from three.

To make it challenging, they would need to be unpredictable and fast! With so many different moves, it was unlikely it would match any particular song. They moved to a beat all of their own. Matching him step for step, Sakura kept up as they twisted their hips, cha cha’d their feet, and went from the chicken dance to the robot. It was so hard not to giggle, but it was so silly and fun! Yes, sweat! Perhaps it meant it would be somewhat difficult. Swinging and flipping each other around, they rolled their hips and cross-stepped left and right. To finish, Lee twirled Sakura in and dipped her, sweeping both her feet off the ground, then took in the magnificent sight - a rosy tint on her cheeks, hair tossed back, smiling, arms around his neck, breathing hard. Then she laughed, leaning back a little too far. Oh no! 

“Wah!” Too late to recenter, Lee pitched forward, wrapping Sakura’s head as they collapsed in a heap and dissolved into giggles.

“Mmaybe ignnore the last part.” Sakura said. Lee untangled their limbs and helped her up.

“Yes! Falling is not advised.” Lee said.

“Good thinking Lee!” Dad said. “Ready Kakashi? Let’s go!” Did he like dancing as much as they did?

In the end, Dad took the win, as he managed to perform the dip before Kakashi-sensei could, though neither were able to do the hip roll. Indeed, it was not an easy thing to do on the first try. Both gave it their all! It was a fearsome battle between two skilled ninja, capable of memorizing almost any movement. Lee was all fired up! Yes! One thousand laps around the village!

“Sakura, would you like to go on a run?” Lee signed.

“Sorry Lee, Sakura and I have jelly to make, but we’ll see you at home.” Dad said, kissing his head. Jelly? Of course, for lunch! “Remember, give it your all, but don’t overdo it!”

“Right!” He said, “I will!” Could he do one thousand laps before lunch? Yes! If he could not, then he would do two thousand sit-ups before dinner!

It was an amazing feeling, being able to run again. Lady Tsunade was a medical dream weaver and savior of their weakened village. The sooner he could take missions again, the better! When he rounded the corner for lap four hundred and eighty seven, Kakashi-sensei stood on his path, open book in hand. No matter, he would simply go around! But his path was blocked again with a side step. Lee paused, jogging in place. Was he doing it on purpose? Or was he inconveniently practicing his box step?

“Please excuse me, Kakashi-sensei.” Lee asked. The book snapped shut and got tucked away.

“Oh, hi Lee.” Kakashi-sensei said, “Actually, I’d like to have a word, if you don’t mind.” A word? What word? Was it a good word or a bad word? From the friendly stare and lazy wave, it seemed less than friendly. “Let’s walk, shall we?”

“Yes! Walking is good.” What else should he say? Yesterday, Kakashi-sensei said he wanted to talk. A ball of nerves tightened in his gut, and he trusted his gut.

“So, you and Sakura,” Kakashi-sensei said, “How’s that going?” What was he getting at? Why was he asking this? Was he testing him? That must be it! Dad’s eternal rival was truly cunning! Sakura and Kakashi-sensei were close, as expected of a teacher and their student, of course he would look out for her.

“She is a smart, beautiful, perfect angel and I swear to protect her with my life!” Lee said. Less was more with Kakashi-sensei, though he could gush on and on about Sakura.

“Good, that’s good.” He said. 

“Why do you ask?” Normally, he would leave it alone, but surely Kakashi-sensei knew all of this already. So what was he getting at?

“I have my reasons. You can relax, I’m not going to do anything, Sakura’s made up her mind.” Huh? About Lee?

“Would you change it if you could?” He asked. Did he approve of him?

“Nope.” He said, “Stay the course, kid. As long as you do that, you and I will have no problems.” Then he was gone in a puff. Okay! Staying the course means no problems with Kakashi-sensei. Easy enough. How long did he have? Finishing up his run, he headed home.

Out back, Sakura lay reading on a dingy white blanket under their tree beside their lunchbox. Waiting for him? Where was Dad? Called away on a mission? Either way, he did not want to start lunch without him. Lee plopped down and cuddled next to her. Well, he was in no hurry. As long as she was here, Dad could take as much time as he needed. Slinging an arm around her waist, he slid her onto his lap. This was okay, right? Snuggling closer, she kicked off her sandals. Yes! Sakura was on his lap! Best day ever! Trailing kisses down her neck, he moved her hair aside. So soft...

“Hey Lee?” Huh? Sakura was talking. Okay, focus, do not get distracted. “Hhow is your armm and leg?”

“Lady Hokage is impressed with my recovery.” He said against her cheek, then gave her a thumbs up.

“That’s wwonderful!” She said, leaning back.

“Mmm-hmm.” Lee nuzzled her, kissing her ear, watching a blush disappear down her shirt. It was likely Sakura kept him from overworking with cuddle bribes and kisses. That was fine, he could resist if he really wanted to. Tilting her head for him, she shivered as he nipped at her pretty neck. Such a nice shade… he smiled against her sweet, smooth skin, as she made little sounds, probably had no idea... 

“Lee, I am ssorry if I cause problemms for you.” He trailed kisses to her cheek, if she turned a little, he could... Huh? Problems? What problems? He had none. Well, physical therapy could count, but he was getting stronger every day! Soon, he would be back to full strength and beyond! But he definitely did not have any right now. “I aam trying to get better.”

“You have not caused problems,” Lee pulled back and gave her space to see his face. What was she talking about? “Get better?”

“I tend to think ... “ She took a deep breath.

“Think..?” Lee wanted to know. What did she tend to think? Was this about her questions? Whatever it was, he wanted to help too.

“I amm not wwanted.” Sakura said. “I am sorry, Lee! You are wwonderful, you deserve ssomeone better, someone nnormal.” What? There was no one better for him. Who was normal anyway? Not him. “You ssaid it waas all okay, so it must be true, right?”

“What is true? That you are my perfect, beautiful girlfriend?” Lee signed; she blushed. If complimenting her would help, he would do it more often. Alright! He would compliment Sakura every day! If he did not, then he would do one-thousand sprints! “I am not sure what your negative inner self is telling you, but she is incorrect.”

“I knoww,” Sakura said, “Kakashi-sensei is teaching mme to challenge negative thoughts with evidence. He ssaid it is because I cannot understand people, soo I mmake up what they might be thinking.” That made more sense than Lee wanted it to.

“Then, understanding people will help?” Lee asked. How do they do that? It was not always possible for him to translate for her. At least Kakashi-sensei was helping too now.

“I wwas wondering, if it was okay, if I could meeet your friendss sometime? Just one or t-two? We do not haave to, if you do not want to, nnevermind, ssorry.” Sakura wanted to meet people? Or Kakashi-sensei wanted her to? Either way he would get to show off his girlfriend and it would help her!

“Of course! We can meet with them anytime!” Lee said. “I would be delighted if you would talk to my friends!” Finally a chance to bring her to meet more people! On purpose!

“Rreally?” Sakura said. She was so surprised... A work in progress. “But… whaat if mmy words are bad? Oor if aanyone tries to talk to me... I don’t want to embarrass yyou.”

“Sakura,” Lee said. Embarrass him? So many things made more sense. “Trust me, I do not mind, and your words are fine.” Perhaps one day she would believe him. Signing was second nature at this point anyway, sometimes he did it when she was not around.

Okay, who should she meet first? Team eight perhaps? Then Kiba telling him to keep her on a leash popped into his head. Okay, not Kiba. Shikamaru might be best, as he was likely to pick up on how to speak clearly. And he sort of met her before, so maybe he already knew. Choji was nice... Maybe Team ten as a whole would be good.

“Alright! How about we go now, since Dad is late?” Lee asked. Was it too soon? Fastening their lunchbox to her purse, Sakura nodded.

“Ookay, aas long as wwe are back in time.” Sakura glanced towards her house. Right. Ms. Haruno would be waking later. Ever since they went swimming... They would be back in time.

Interlacing their fingers, Lee led them downtown towards the flower shop. Though Lee was less familiar with Ino, perhaps she knew where to find Shikamaru and Choji. A bell rang as they opened the glass door, prompting Ino to greet them from behind a counter. 

“What’s up, Lee? Looking for Shikamaru, cuz he’s not here. He might show up soon if you wait.” Ino said, turning her blue eyes on Sakura, then gave him a sly smile, “Oh hey, who’s this? Your girlfriend?” Right, he should translate!

“Yes! I-N-O, meet Sakura.” He signed. “We wanted to say hello.”

“Ooh, I didn’t know you were with anyone.” Ino said, moving from behind the counter, “Nice to meet you.” Okay, repeat to Sakura! Mostly word for word, but he paraphrased some. “Can she not hear me?”

‘Nice to meet you.’ Sakura signed.

“No, she cannot. You are among the first to realize it this quickly.” Lee said, pointing his index fingers out. “Once she learns you well enough, she can read your face. Sakura says it is nice to meet you as well.”

“So what’s wrong with her? I mean, why can’t she hear? What is that thing you’re doing with your hands? Can she talk?” Ino asked, folding her arms and Lee sighed. Of course there would be a lot of questions, but come on.

“Nothing is wrong with Sakura!” Lee said with a bit more bite than he intended, “Her ears do not work, that is all. This is something we made up to communicate.” Well, mostly Kakashi-sensei made it up, though that part was meant to stay secret. He hated secrets.

“It’s cool looking,” Ino said, “Can you teach me?” Wait - huh? Teach her sign language? No one ever asked before. If more people learned it, Sakura could talk to them!

“Of course! But Sakura would be a much better teacher.” He signed. Ino held up her hands.

“How do I ask her?” She asked. Yes! Lee was delighted! It took some time before she was able to make a whole sentence, but the look Sakura gave him was so worth it. ‘Teach me please.’ Nodding, Sakura pulled a notebook from her purse and handed it over.

“Hey, this isn’t bad. Is this all of it?” Ino asked as Lee interpreted. 

‘It is very little.’ Sakura shook her head.

“Can I copy these? We have a machine in the back.” Sakura nodded. “Thanks! I’ll be right back. Let me know if a customer comes in.”

‘You are doing great!’ Lee said, adding a thumbs up. This was the best yet! Fanning herself, Sakura smiled and stuck her tongue out. He laughed, then the bell rang. Shikamaru walked in with Choji trailing behind. Sakura stepped closer. Was this too many?

“Hey Lee, where’s Ino? Asuma-sensei wants to train this afternoon, such a drag.” Shikamaru said, glancing at Sakura. Tucking closer, she flinched. What was that about? Was she afraid of Shikamaru?

“We get barbecue after!” Choji said. “HELLO SAKURA! IT’S NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN!” Lee winced, volume was not the issue.

“Please do not do that.” Sakura said, speaking each word slowly, as if to a small child still learning all their words. She talked! To strangers! Lee was going to cry! A whisper tickled his ear, “Iis this okay?” He nodded.

“All done!” Ino returned, waving a stack of paper around. “Hey guys.” She gave back the notebook. “Do you have any more?” Alright! A squeeze stopped him from moving away, but… he could not translate while beside her. 

“Sakura, why - ?” Lee said, but at the moment, she was focused on Ino’s face.

“Please ssay iit again? S-sslower?” She asked, signing with one hand looped through his arm. She was trying so hard! Lee could no longer contain his tears. Ino held up the paper.

“More?” Ino pointed at the notebook. Sakura nodded. Lee wanted to pick her up and twirl around, but there was no space. “Bring it over some time?” Whenever Sakura mouthed along people’s lips, Lee’s heart swelled. It was so cute he could hardly stand it! “Bring. it. over. some. time.” 

Sakura nodded.

“Bring what over?” Choji asked, “What’s on the paper?” Stepping back, Lee picked up translating again. If he could not keep up with the words, then he would practice two-thousand words one hundred times! Did they have that many? No matter!

“Sakura has a record of their language on here.” Ino answered. “I made copies if you guys want to check it out.”

“I’ll pass.” Shikamaru said, putting his hands behind his head, watching Sakura. Lee did not want to translate, but…”Sounds like too much work.”

“Yes... ssorry... “ Sakura said, tensing. Danger! Lee gripped her waist. If he let go, she would run right out the shop and all the way back to her room. Please do not discourage her.

“Shikamaru, you jerk!” Ino said, glaring, “Don’t be rude! At least look it over!”

“I don’t want to.” This was getting out of hand…

“I’ll take a look!” Choji said. “Hey, maybe you guys can join us for barbecue sometime.” Could they? How many people would that be? Even now, she tried to hide...

“Hey, I know a guy who does ink drawings. You guys could totally collab to make a book.” Ino said, flipping through some of the pages before passing them to Choji.

“Who might that be?” Lee asked.

“That other kid that was on Kakashi-sensei’s team, Sai. He’s older than us, and I think older than you too. He’s kinda weird, but super cute. And he’s an artist! Couldn’t hurt to ask.” Write a guide book for their language? Why did he not think of this sooner? “I’m not sure what happened to him, now that … well you know, but I can find out.”

“Yeah, Ino gets all the latest gossip.” Shikamaru said. Keeping up with everyone was difficult, and Lee missed many words, but Sakura was smiling, so it must be fine, right? No wait, it was her motto smile.

“She sure does!” Choji added.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ino said, angry again. Perhaps they should not get involved.

“Can wwe leave? I aam ssorry.” Sakura whispered. Lee nodded, it was perhaps enough practice for one day.

“That sounds great, Ino. Please let me know what you find out! We have to go, but thank you.” Lee said, grabbing Sakura’s hand and bolting for the exit.

“Hey wait!” Ino chased them down. “Are you doing anything this weekend?” Huh? Were they? Looking around, she leaned in and whispered, “There’s a party down at the Dome, a bunch of our classmates wanted to celebrate Shikamaru’s promotion. It would be great if you would come, and you can bring your girlfriend.”

“A party?” Lee glanced at Sakura. That might be too much. “I do not know if-.”

“Shhh! Keep it on the down low, we didn’t exactly get permission! Can you guys bring anything?” Ino asked. “Everyone’s pitching in and I wanna make sure we don’t get doubles.” Wait, they were not sure if they were even going!

‘Sakura, Ino is inviting us to a party this weekend. Would you like to go?’ May as well see what she says. She bit her lip.

‘Are Kakashi-sensei and Guy-sensei going?’ She asked. If it was unsanctioned, probably not, but it was possible.

“Ino, only Genin? No Jonin?” Lee asked.

“Listen Lee, this party is with our class. Your team is going to be the oldest people there, unless Sai comes. Come on, even Hinata and Neji are going. Besides, Jonin wouldn’t let us have any fun, and they’d be bored hanging out with us. Could you imagine trying to party with your teacher?”

“Well…” Lee said, shaking his head. How should he handle this? Did he want to go? He had never gone to a party before.

“Wwe can go, iif you wwant.” Sakura said. Huh? Really? She wanted to?

“Great! It starts at seven. What can you guys bring?” Ino asked, talking slow again. Lee’s hands translated anyway.

“Cookies?” Sakura took a step behind him. Well, today was still progress!

“Perfect! See you you guys there!” What just happened? Why did Sakura agree so easily? They left, door jingling as it shut behind them.

A wave of fresh, cool air hit him, and Lee took a breath. It was so nice out! The shop was stuffy, humid, and very fragrant, he only noticed now that they were outside. Staring up at him, hands pressed to her chest, Sakura chewed her lip. Was she worried about the talking? No matter what she believed, it was impossible for her to embarrass him. He gave her a thumbs up with his best smile and she smiled back. Yes! He would get to go to a party with Sakura! As long as they stuck together, it could be fun. And if not, they would leave. Yes! His stomach rumbled. Oh right, they never got to have lunch. Perhaps they could have a picnic.

“Sakura, would you like to have lunch at my dōjō ?” Lee signed.

“Yyes please! I wwould love to see it!” She signed. They still had a few hours before Ms. Haruno awoke, plenty of time.

Deeper into the village, they wove through alleyways around shops and set down a dirt path to a hidden wooded area. Through dense trees and brush, they followed a narrow, winding path until a wooden building came into view. Yes! It was sure a sight for sore eyes, his absolute favorite place to go! His dōjō was built with pure love and the burning desire to push forward! He missed it so much! Had Sakura been here before? Not that he could recall. Surely this was a perfect place, quiet, close to the thriving heart of the Hidden Leaf, but far enough to enjoy the calm of nature. It was truly the best of everything! They approached the entrance, where a hand painted banner hung.

“Sakura, I’d like you to meet my dōjō!” He signed, waving his hands with excitement. So many days and nights spent harvesting the wood, cutting it to size, laying the planks. All of his allowance went towards nails, pounding away with Dad’s tools. “And this is my hand painted marquee.”

“Wwow Lee, you built this all by yyourself?” Sakura asked, “It’s so big! It mmust have taken a long time.” She was impressed! Victory!

“Yes, many months! Come on inside, perhaps a challenger awaits!” Lee said, opening the doors. Light filtered in through the narrow beam windows, illuminating particles of dust, well lit, but shaded from the harsher rays.

“Iis there aan echo?” She asked, “It’s sso cool Lee! Wwhat do you do here? What did yyou mmean by challenger?” Untying their lunchbox, she sat in the center of the room.

“No echo, those windows have no glass.” He signed, sitting. “A fighter from another dōjō can come and challenge me to a fight, and if they win, they get my marquee! Though I have yet to have any, even with all the fliers I put out.” Lee pointed to the poster he had beside the door.

“Why not?” Sakura asked, unpacking their sandwiches. If only he knew.

“I do not know.” Lee said. “It is most discouraging. No matter! It is a good place to train nonetheless.” Picking up a sandwich, he took a bit and watched Sakura stare at his poster. “What are you thinking about?” Huh? What is on this? It was tasty, but not at all what he expected, spicy and squishy? He pulled the bread apart. Jelly? With meat and cheese?

“It iss pepper jellly.” Sakura said. “Do yyou like it? Sso, your goal is to have fighters chaallenge you here?”

“Mm hmm.” He swallowed, “Yes, that is correct. It is all to further my training.” 

“Mmaybe the teachers wwould bring their teamms here to train together.”

“Perhaps… I will ask.” Lee said. If other challengers would not come, it may be better than nothing. As he finished off the sandwich, Sakura flopped over, sprawling over his lap, a pink hue across her cheeks.

“Um... do you hhave any extra fliers?”

“What for?” Lee asked. There was nowhere else to place them. Unless she thought of something?

“Welll... it’s a rreally cute picture…” She said, covering her face. Oh! She wanted to keep one! She was so perfect! Why did she hide? Lee pulled her hands away, he liked seeing her blush over him.

“Of course!” If she wanted a flier, she could have as many as she wanted! “I meant to ask you before, remember when I asked you about flowers on our date? What is it that makes the lotus special to you?” Yes! More blushing! Victory!

“Well, umm... it, I mmean yyour…” Sakura bit her lip and sat up. ‘It is so beautiful and strong, blooming no matter what, from the deepest, darkest places, refusing to accept defeat. It is something you can always count on…’ She swapped back to talking, “Like yyou.”

“Sakura…” Lee was only teasing, but now he was crying. Sakura wiped his tears.

“I llove you, Lee.” She said, nuzzling his neck, warm breath tickling his ear, he shivered, “You know... kisssing burns 24 calories a mminute.” Huh? Kissing? “Wannt to workout?” No way that counted as a workout, especially not by his standards… however... 

“Yes!”

Dear Lee, 

Thank you for the letter. It was interesting. I am doing well, though things are difficult. I have decided to try to become someone precious to others and to dedicate myself to protecting my village. Naruto has convinced me this is the right path. I don’t have a favorite exercise and I have never danced before. I don’t know if I liked the cookie. My sand is my only weapon. I don’t know when I will be back in the Leaf Village. It would be nice to visit again one day.

~Gaara


	25. Sakura: Swiping at Butterflies

Curled up on her side, still in her nightgown, Sakura laid on her bedroom floor, staring at the rolled up poster under her bed. If Mom saw it, she might be angry and not let her put it up, but Sakura really wanted to have it somewhere. It seemed like such a waste, since Lee was sweet enough to give her one. Maybe… pulling it out, she went to her closet and crawled under the hanging dresses to the back wall. Mom wouldn’t see it back here. The floor was littered with stacks of books, bags of scrolls and notes hidden under stuffed animals and blankets. Today was not a Kakashi-sensei day, though she wished it was. She should study, read more about genjutsu to make lessons easier, but she couldn’t concentrate.

Today was Mom’s day off work. A day like this didn’t have room for anything extra. Normally she might ask to see Guy-sensei, but he wasn’t home. Glancing at her green, backlit clock, she sighed and stood to peruse her outfits, selecting a pale daisy print sundress. Especially on her home days, Mom preferred her to wear dresses. In fact, she didn’t own much else. 

Creeping into the hallway, Sakura pulled the vacuum from the closet and went downstairs. She totally forgot to vacuum last night, and she wasn’t allowed to turn it on while Mom was home... Walking backward through the living room, she left straight, perfect lines in the carpet, checking things over as she went. No dust, nothing out of place…

Around through the kitchen, she hauled the vacuum up and put it away, then returned to start tea. Maybe Belle could check laundry… no, better not risk her getting spotted. Was there anything she didn’t hide from Mom? Not really... she didn’t even tell her about Lee. Like a hissing, bitter parasite, guilt stewed in her gut. Maybe she should tell her... Would she be okay with it? Would Sakura get into trouble? Mom thought the world of Lee, but dating her might ruin that. Another hour until she was up, could she risk starting cookie dough for the weekend? No, better not, it would make a mess. 

Baking at Guy-sensei’s house became the norm. Though she always cleaned up, he never minded the mess. Getting out a tea bag and mug, she thought about when she first gathered the nerve to ask him for something special. Sitting on his kitchen floor, she labeled the superficial and deep anterior muscle charts assigned by Kakashi-sensei. Guy-sensei did pushups, so she wouldn’t be working hard alone.

“Guy-sensei?” Sakura asked, half the blanks filled in. He jumped up and sat back on his heels. “Can I ask you a question?”

“What’s on your mind?” His teeth sparkled when he smiled. She always thought it was the coolest.

“I was wondering... you remember you said to ask you for things?” She was nervous anyway, but no way she could ask Mom. “Is it still okay?”

“Of course it is! Ask me anything!”

“If... maybe... “ Sakura took a deep breath, “Can you find yeast? Please? Just a little?”

“Yes, can do!” Guy-sensei said, “But did you know you can make your own?” She did not! No way!

“Really? Can you show me?” She asked, “Please?”

“I’ll tell you what, get a perfect score on that paper and I’ll help you bake whatever you want!” Sakura had been so happy! They ended up making a whole batch of cinnamon rolls together.

Sakura shook off the memory. Hopefully he let her bake cookies at his house for the party tomorrow. The party… Lee practically vibrated at the idea, but hesitated because of her. Of course she said yes, but.. It was terrifying. How many people would be there? Would she know anyone? Would Lee feel like he had to babysit? Maybe he’d rather go alone... if he did, maybe it was better, then she wouldn’t have to… Stop! Stop it… stop it…

Crying was stupid. Curling up on the kitchen tile, Sakura wiped her face. Stop crying. Okay, deep breaths, everything was okay, Kakashi-sensei’s lessons wouldn’t go to waste. Lee wouldn’t bring her to meet new people, then abandon her and he wouldn’t uninvite her because she was too much trouble. … Close enough. At least she felt a little better. 

How long until Mom came down? Better clean up. She went to the sink, splashed cool water on her face and dried off on a towel. Right, laundry. The basement door haunted the corner of the kitchen… what if the door closed and she couldn’t get out? Best leave laundry for tomorrow, then Belle would do it. She was braver than Sakura.

Turning on the burner, she waited for the kettle to boil, and spotted a note beside the sugar canister. Written in Mom’s quick, angled scrawl, most of it was the same old: don’t leave home, finish the list of chores, keep everything locked, no messes, blah blah blah, but...

Who was that red-headed outsider at Guy’s house? You better not have spoken to him. You will not consort with other ninja, Leaf or otherwise.  Apparently Sakura wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone ever. When did she see Gaara?

I forbid you from seeing Kakashi, I don’t like how friendly you two are. Stay away from him. 

Mom didn’t like Kakashi-sensei, but don’t talk to him? How did she know she talked to him at all? Unless she meant when he visited Guy-sensei, since he was there a lot. Hopefully that was it. Could she have seen them training? Or bringing books? Sometimes he came inside when he stopped by… No, Kakashi-sensei was always careful.

And stop checking in with Guy, he’s sick of dealing with you. If he catches you over there, you’re in big trouble. Just stay home, or I will make you.

But... Guy-sensei watched over her since she was little, what changed? He didn’t like her anymore? Stuffing the note into her pocket, Sakura choked back sobs. What did she do wrong? Was it because Lee was better now? Did he decide she was too distracting? She didn’t mean to, didn’t mean to be so much trouble. Maybe if she tried harder... the tea! Wiping her face, Sakura pulled the kettle off as it started to steam. Did it whistle? Mom hated the whistle.

Pouring hot water into the bug, she let it steep, removed the bag and added cream and sugar. Mom walked in, stretched, yawned, then took the mug and left to sit at the living room table. Close... Maybe it didn’t whistle. After wiping up a few drips on the counter, Sakura followed. 

Mom was in her day clothes, an unusual sight of faded blue jeans and a petunia print, scoop-neck t-shirt under a denim jacket. Was she going out today? Sometimes she went out, but Sakura didn’t know where. It didn’t matter, Mom didn’t get much time off, so it made sense to spend it as she liked. Sipping her tea, she pulled a note from her jacket and slid it across the table. 

I’m having people over tonight. Stay in your room. Sakura nodded, but she wasn't sure why. Mom never looked at her. Whenever her friends were over, Sakura was sent to Guy-sensei’s house for the night, but he said no now... Mom waved her hand, shooing her. Oh, she meant now.

“Yes, Mom.” Sakura said, standing. 

Before she could blink, a hand was over her mouth, pinching her face. Hard, dark green eyes bore into her lighter ones and she quivered. Apologies wanted to escape, but she would say it wrong too. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry - She sniffled then swallowed hard, frozen. Then it was gone, Mom picked up her mug and went into the kitchen. Stumbling up the stairs, Sakura held her breath until she got to her room and shut the door. Now she could cry.

She crawled into her closet, sat in the corner beside the Lee poster and wept. He was probably training at his dōjō right now, doing pushups on his thumbs or jumping jacks on his hands, or some other wild thing. Wilting, she turned away, unable to face him. Why was she so miserable? What was wrong with her? Why? Even though she had the best boyfriend in the world, and the best two Sensei… one Sensei… and a Mom who cared and provided for her.

Mom was home today, and didn’t want to spend time with her… That’s okay, they could hang out any time, but she never got to see her friends. So many kids had less, why was Sakura so stupid? She hugged her knees and hid her face. Ungrateful, whiny little crybaby, Mom worked so hard to provide for the both of them, all night, almost every night, sleeping during the day… It was so much. Everyone did so much for her. Why was she so ungrateful? Why couldn’t she be happy? Ugh, her stomach throbbed painfully. Did she eat today? She couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter, someone as ungrateful and stupid as her didn’t deserve meals. If she earned it, Mom would bring her something later... She should probably leave the closet. If Mom came in, she might see some of the things from Kakashi-sensei.

Crawling out to the middle of her room, Sakura draped across the floor and stared out the window, letting her eyes glaze over. The room faded, her stomachache didn’t register anymore, and she disappeared. Her limbs melted into the carpet, heart rate slowed, and she drifted deeper and deeper into herself. Numb, detached... Sakura dreamed. Blood soaked skeletons leapt from medical texts, declaring their bones in floating text - mandible, maxilla, palatine.... The nervous system stretched out, grasping and looping through the gaping bodies.

One after another, they bled and rebuilt themselves, layer by layer, labeled organs and their purpose as they materialized- liver, lungs, heart, spleen... Flesh climbed over from the bottom up, the epidermis... Brains floated in the blackness, building the neuron - cell body, dendrites, axon... Right, not asleep, she was reviewing her homework. Squishy pinkish-brown blobs plopped into open, grinning skulls. Kakashi-sensei would bring her another test soon and she had to be prepared. What happened during sleep? Melatonin, then -

Someone shook her, jolting her back into her body, and Sakura blinked. Mom? The window - it was dark, and her room swam. Numbness still set in, she couldn’t move. Another shake, harder. Twitching, she struggled to push up, her body was heavy, or maybe her arms were weak. Mom stood over her, and yanked Sakura to her unsteady feet, a friendly, plastered smile. Did she bring dinner? Mouth moving, Mom took her hand and led her downstairs. Was everything okay? Was she in trouble? 

Around the livingroom table, three women sat, glasses filled with brightly colored liquids, tall, shapely bottles strewn around a lit candle. Throwing an arm around her shoulders, Mom kissed her cheek, sweet digested berries on her breath. Kisses meant not in trouble, right? Dressed casually in loose sweaters, jeans, tank tops and blouses, the women watched her with devious expressions, like they would leap from their seats and attack. The ache in her gut was back, and Sakura shrank. Could she go back to her room now? She didn’t dare ask.

Sitting in the empty chair, Mom pulled her onto her lap, cuddling her against her bosom. All the touching... it was rare for her to touch so much. Was that why it felt so… foreign? Long, manicured nails stroked her bare arm and she shivered. Sakura cowered from the women with silky, done-up hair, mischievous, glittering eyes, and painted lips stretched into too wide, hanging smiles. Glasses were raised and they stared at her. Like flutes gurgling underwater, light tones bounced around Sakura as Mom squeezed her arm. The woman on her left, big bushy hair, glasses, put a notepad down on the table and slid it over.

Keiko, Mayumi, Yumena.  Their names maybe?

Mom put a thin glass to Sakura’s lips and tipped it. Lukewarm fizzy blackberry assaulted her as she choked down the bubbly drink, then coughed. Yuck! Tossing her head back, Mom’s chest vibrated. Was she laughing? The glass was refilled and returned. No, it was gross... Sakura shook her head, but Mom pressed it to her lips, insistent. If she got any on the dress, she’d be furious. Ugh okay... her head swam, hot and dizzy. Laying back, she tucked under her chin. Mom toyed with Sakura’s long, candy pink locks, curling it around her thin, dainty fingers. A chill ran down Sakura’s spine when the nails grazed her cheek, like she expected it to hurt. Why... ?

She couldn’t think, like a wave of fog invaded her brain. What’s…? The glass was back, a tiny one this time, pressing against her mouth, banging on her teeth, filled with a yeast-smelling amber drink. No, it stinks… Mom grabbed a fistful of her hair and Sakura froze as harsh, scorching liquid coated her throat and left a trail of fire that pooled in her abused stomach. No more please, but a second was forced down. No, it hurts! Shaking her head, she refused to swallow. Holding her still, Mom covered her mouth and nose until she relented, coughing, tears welling up. The notepad ran away, then returned, a row of dancing, fuzzy letters. She blinked until they settled down.

What does Kakashi look like? Huh? Were they asking her or Mom? Mom might know. 

Sleepy... Sakura laid back, wanting to close her eyes, but if she did... Ow! Something pinched her arm and the notebook was thrust in her face, red fingernail pointing at the question. Oh, her then. No room to sign… wait they didn’t know how. Talk… Was talking okay? The pad was rapped on her head and another pinch. Ouch... okay... 

“He is…” She tried to picture him standing there, slouched, reading... “Gray hair... two colors... in his eyes.” Sakura hummed as the image turned squiggly and vanished. What happened? Sensei? He left… No, he was beside her, taking her hand. “Cold hands…” He had hands like hers, always cold.

Could she go now? So tired… she turned and tried to cuddle. At least she got to spend a little time with Mom. Hands shoved her back. Aww, no cuddling with Mommy. The glass returned along with a new question. No, please no more, it hurts, but it ignored her, jabbing at her lips… burning… mean … thing. Words... fluffy... scribbles... 

What do Guy and Kakashi do? ... Mom knew, didn’t she? Looking up, Mom stared, a thin smile on her lips. Oh, well, maybe it was a quiz. A finger tapped her nose. Sakura pointed at her own nose and Mom nodded.

“Tea-chers.” Sakura said. That one was easy. Could she go sleep now? Her stomach hurt and she felt weird, woozy... Another question appeared, words bigger, more readable.

What does Kakashi say to you? Say? Sakura giggled. Kakashi-sensei didn’t talk, he signed! Ugh... swimming head... Oww! Pinched again, do not cry... she was doing bad, answer the questions. Maybe this will make Mom be okay with him again.

“He says…” Jutsu lessons... new training… What were his words? “Nice things... or again... he won’t leave …because... ” What else? Lightheaded, the room spun... hurts... The ladies blurred. Funny, funny blurs... Mom was so nice, holding her, letting her sit on her lap. Oh right, had to tell her…

“Lee... is-” What was it? “We... date.” There, now Mom knows. She didn’t hit her, so it must be okay. Sleepy... The tiny glass was back and Sakura shook her head. No, please… Tiny Glass was the worst... It ignored her protests, she wiped away tears. Is … fire... More scribble questions.

What does Guy say to you? Guy-sensei? He’s nice, watching over her for so long, but he hated her. Mom said... Says... He said lots of things. Eyes heavy, have to stay open... Mom kissed her cheek and tapped her nose again. She was nice too... 

“Guy-sensei…” Sakura tried to remember as Mom pet her hair. “He is nice…” He stood in front of her, thumbs up, shining teeth, energetic… “He … happy… loving…” She drifted, so tired... Mom shoved her onto the floor and she got a face full of carpet. Ouch, her head… The paper pad dropped on the floor. Sakura stared at it until the words arranged themselves.

Go to bed.

“Yes, Mommy.” Sakura said. “I love you.” 

Without looking, Mom pointed at the stairs. Yes, going... Sakura stumbled, tripping on the bottom stair. Oww… maybe she should crawl. The floor was moving on its own. That’s not normal... Up, up. Gripping the floor, she hiked up her skirt so it wouldn't drag, and moved slow. Under her palms and knees, the carpet was rough and scratchy. Oh, there’s her door. Crawling inside, she nudged it closed with her foot, super slow so it was quiet, she dragged herself to the middle of the room. It was cold, but she couldn’t move anymore. Shivering, Sakura balled up, pulling her knees to her chin. Hopefully Kakashi-sensei and Mom would make up soon, then talking would be okay again. Maybe tomorrow she could apologize to Guy-sensei and he wouldn’t hate her anymore...

Bright, blinding sunshine woke her up, drilling a hole in her head. Yuck… her mouth was cottony, tasting like old, rotten fruit. As Sakura sat up, a painful wave of nausea hit her and she doubled over. What happened? Deep breaths, deep breaths... Stumbling, she slowly stood and made her way to the bathroom. Turning on the light, she winced and went to the sink, turning the cold tap. Another wave of nausea, and her stomach lurched. Oh, no she was going to - she dropped to the floor as bile rose, heaved into the toilet bowl, it burned, and left her throat sore. Why was she sick? Deep breaths... She rested, leaning against the cool ceramic tub. Shaky… her insides... all of it hurt, like she swallowed hot coals.

Tears leaked out, but she forced herself to stand, taking out her toothbrush. So far so good. With jittery hands, she smeared paste on her lips trying to brush her teeth. Ugh, she felt gross, like a layer of old grime soaked into her skin. Better shower too... Undressing, she turned on the tap, leaning against the wall as she washed, and let the water warm her chilled bones. She still felt like crap, but at least she didn’t stink. Stepping out, she wrapped herself and her hair in thin towels and shuffled back to her room. 

Maybe a nap, then cookies... Laying on the floor, she adjusted her head towel into a makeshift pillow. Would she have to make them at home? Probably... yawning, she curled up, but then Lee appeared outside her window. Lee! Waving him in, she dragged herself up, ran over, and hugged him. Kissing his neck, she closed her eyes and let his warm, unique scent envelope her. Best hugs... His hands trailed up her damp skin to her shoulders, then wrapped around her waist. Nuzzling him, her hair towel fell off, but she didn’t care. She could fall asleep right there in his arms. Lee stepped back and she stumbled.

‘Do you want to get dressed and come over?’ He signed, red-faced. 

‘Is it okay?’ She asked. He nodded. Maybe Guy-sensei wasn’t home? Vision wavering, she went into her closet and put on the first thing she grabbed: a short, yellow overall skirt with a white crop-top, then draped the towels on her chair.

Lee helped her out the window. The sun hurt her eyes and made her head throb. Stepping into his spinning bedroom, she swayed and fell, but he caught her. 

“Sorry…” Weak… woozy… maybe she should’ve napped, but Lee was here. He half carried her to his bed.

“Are you okay? You look unwell, did something happen?” Lee signed. She shook her head. Ouch, don’t do that.

“I am okay.” Her eyes were heavy, head hurt, and tummy was upset, but beside that she was fine. Why was his room tilted? Wait no, that was her… Mmm his bed was soft... he brushed hair from her face.

“You are shaking.” She was? “Do you need breakfast? When did you eat last?” She shrugged, no idea. “That is no good.”

He scooped her up, woah spinny! Closing her eyes, she hid from the light, gripping his shoulders as he carried her downstairs into the kitchen and set her on his chair across from Kakashi-sensei. Guy-sensei was home too, standing by the coffee pot. Resting against the chair back, she shrank. Should she leave? Was he going to be angry?

‘You look like crap.’ Kakashi-sensei signed. Thanks, sensei. ‘Party too hard last night?’ Was that a joke? Kakashi-sensei told a joke...weird. What happened last night? Mom’s friends… lots of questions... Names...

“Kei-ko... May… May...umi…” What was the other? Her head hurt so much, she closed her eyes. “Yu- Yum… Yumena.” Was that right? Something tapped her, she opened her eyes and the light stabbed her again. Guy-sensei leaned down and touched their foreheads together, she froze. Temperature check? Wasn’t he mad? Why hasn’t he punished her yet? “I’m sorry.”

“Did they give you anything?” He signed, pulling back. Lee set a bowl in front of her.

“Questions?” Sakura rubbed her arm, it remembered the question part. Frowning, Guy-sensei lifted her hand from the bruise. “I am sorry…” Was he mad? He looked… scary. 

“What else?” He asked. She quivered, resisting the urge to run… she’d probably fall over again.

“Stinky drinks?” The memory of the smell made her stomach flip and she covered her mouth, tears welling up... Oh good, nothing happened. A cold glass was pressed in her hands and she sipped it, low voices carried on around her. Water was nice. Sharing the chair, Lee sat beside her and slid the bowl closer.

‘Eat.’ He tapped his fingers against his mouth, smiling when she picked up the utensils.

“Guy-sensei? Are you mad at me?” He didn’t make her leave, but... 

“Nope! Don’t you worry, Sakura, you’ve done nothing wrong!” Guy-sensei said, grinning. Oh good, maybe he forgave her already.

“Then… can I please make cookies?” She asked. He gave her a thumbs up. Yay! “Thank you.”

“If you are sick, you should rest.” Lee signed. She almost laughed, he was one to talk.

‘She’ll be fine in a little while.’ Kakashi-sensei signed. ‘Keep drinking water.’

He was right. After some time, Sakura and Lee were covered in flour and sugar, cookies piling up. How much should they make? How many people were going? Oh well, they decided to bake until they ran out of flour. Kakashi-sensei and Guy-sensei hung around and watched, probably chatting. Weird, usually they left, but maybe today was their day off. Turning away from the basket of cookies on the counter, Sakura smacked into Lee.

“Sorry!”

“It is okay!” He smiled his heart-melting smile. Oh my... 

“Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?” The words tumbled out before she could stop them. Kakashi-sensei’s book was so cute, she couldn’t help but quote it, but not in front of him! Did he hear?

“It was the smile!” Gosh he was stunning. Someone tapped her shoulder.

“So, what’s this all about?” Guy-sensei signed. “Why so many cookies?”

“It is for a party.” Sakura said. Should she start cleaning up?

“Sakura! We weren’t supposed to tell anyone.” Lee signed.

“Oh, I’m sorry Lee! Was it a surprise?” Did she ruin everything?

“No, but Ino said it was down low!”

“I see.” Guy-sensei signed, “A youthful event! You kids have fun!” He gave a shiny grin and a thumbs up. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

‘Don’t tell them that,’ Kakashi-sensei signed, appearing next to him, ‘Just don’t drink any alcohol.’ Was there going to be alcohol? Weren’t they all too young?

“Of course not! An underage ninja should not partake in the drinking of alcohol!”

“Well said Lee!” 

‘Sakura, I need to talk to you a moment.’ Kakashi-sensei signed. 

“Now? But cleaning-” 

‘Alone, right now.’ Was she in trouble?

“I got the dishes, Sakura.” Lee said, smiling. It must be okay. Taking her hand, Kakashi-sensei walked them into the hallway by the front door.

‘Think very carefully, what did they ask you last night?’ He signed, ‘Can you remember anything? Take your time.’ Oh... she concentrated, but it was all so hazy. Stinky, burning…weird smiles...

“They asked…” Sakura looked at his hands... Chilly, like hers, so they didn’t feel cold, but... “Your hands are cold! I mean, sorry, they wanted to know… your... and Guy-sensei… something… about his… I’m sorry, I don’t...” How could she not remember? So stupid… This type of thing was probably why Guy-sensei was sick of her. Should she tell him about the note? Maybe after Mom left for work.

‘Sakura, it’s okay, I didn’t expect you to remember much.’ Ouch... of course he wouldn’t expect much of her. It wasn’t like she ever gave him a reason to. ‘If you think of anything else, let me know.’ She nodded, ‘Come on, we’ve got drills to run.’

‘Yes, Sensei.’

She followed him out back, where Guy-sensei and Lee started already. When the sun dipped towards late afternoon, Sakura went inside to start tea. Out the door, she could see Lee perched on a lower branch and waved. Hopefully he went back inside before Mom came down.


	26. Lee: Silhouettes of Springtime

Placing the remaining cookies into the two baskets, Lee watched Kakashi-sensei and Dad switch from coffee to tea. After Ms. Haruno left for work, Sakura should be back and they could go to the party. Finished cleaning, he returned outside to train. Alright! He would do one-thousand chin ups before Sakura came out, if he could not, then he would do two-thousand sit ups! One.. Two… Three... 

He was glad Sakura was not sick, but what happened? Dad was concerned, almost… angry? It took a lot to upset him, especially enough to show it. At least she was okay, but where was she? It was almost time, and he finished his count. Dropping from the tree, he knocked on her back door. Perhaps...

“Ms. Haruno?” He called. She should be gone, so where was Sakura? The door was locked. Alright! He headed home.

“Where’s Sakura?” Kakashi-sensei asked.

“She has not come out yet.” Lee said. “I am trying her window.”

Up in his room, Lee climbed onto the roof and found her window unlocked! Yes! Lee went in, it was odd being in her room without her… Where was she? Perhaps the closet? He crawled in… his poster was here, but no Sakura. Hmm... he stepped into the hallway, tiptoeing downstairs. 

With hardly any furniture or pictures, the rooms were echo-y and without a trace of dust, like a museum. An eerie museum. Circling around through the living room, he entered the desolate kitchen. If he did not know better, he might think no one lived here. Where could she be? The attic? Why would Sakura go up there? A sniffling sound followed quiet sobs, from where? The basement? No, there was no way... Ms. Haruno was not that cruel… was she? Turning the handle, it was locked. Hmm… He looked under the door, but it was too dark to make out anything. Thump thump thump-. Huh? Kakashi-sensei was outside knocking on the glass, Lee let him in. 

“I believe Sakura is locked in the basement.” 

“Allow me.” Kakashi-sensei fiddled around, then… click, it swung open. Sakura… two Sakuras huddled near the bottom of the stairs. How often was she locked down there?

“Are you okay?” Lee asked. She nodded and they climbed up, wiping her eyes. The clone put her hands on Sakura’s shoulders. She was taller, almost as tall as him, and looked more like an older sister than a copy. Running her fingers through Sakura’s hair, she combed it into place, then poofed… strange.

“I am sorrry,” Sakura said, “Maaybe I sho-... thank you, iss it okay if wwe go still?”

“Yes, of course!”

As Lee approached the field, Sakura’s hand in one hand, cookie basket in the other, an orange hue fell over the village. Everyone was there: Team Eight, Team Ten, Team Seven minus Sasuke, and his own teammates. Moving closer, Sakura switched to holding his arm and he hid a smile, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Alright! If he did not translate as much as possible, he would have to do six, no seven hundred nunchuck drills tomorrow!

“Hey, glad you could make it!” Ino ran over, dragging Sai, “Look! I told you I’d find him, he’s totally into the idea, you guys can hook up later,” She turned to the chattering group, “Let’s get this party started!”

The main doors were locked, but Neji somehow got it open. Hollow steps from twelve sets of light footed sandals echoed through the empty stadium. It was surreal, being there without the roaring crowd and Jonin proctors, like being in a dream. Lee wondered why they would celebrate here, of all places, but now he knew. 

The atmosphere was ripe for change, a heartbreaking gloom desperate to be transformed by youthful, energetic spirits. Down in the ring, Choji set up a portable fire pit while Hinata and Kiba laid out a blanket for snacks. Adding their cookies to the pile, Lee stood around the flickering flames with the others. Yawning, sloshing water bucket in hand, Shikamaru hovered around Choji while Shino peered at Lee. Or was he? Hard to tell. Striking a conversation with Ino and Sai, Kiba and Hinata settled with Akamaru curled between them. TenTen set up a stereo, playing thumping electronic music Lee never heard before. 

“Leee is that music? Iss it? Can wwe dance? Please?”

“Hey Bushy Brows!” Naruto signed some, approaching. “H-e-y Sakura! What’re you guys doin?”

“We might dance.” Lee said, signing. Sakura squealed! Well! Now they had to!

“Rreally? Can wwe? NNaruto can too?” She signed, “Do you wwant to? Please?” Naruto giggled and blushed. Uh oh... 

“Well gee Sakura, I mean, if you want to.” Naruto was standing awfully close... No matter! Lee would not succumb to jealousy! After all, she was with him.

“Sakura, I do not believe you have met everyone, I will introduce you!” Lee signed. They could dance later.

“I’ve been working on learning those signs even more,” Naruto giggled, waving his hands as Lee supplemented. “What do you think? Pretty cool, right?”

‘Really? Thank you!’ Sakura signed, wiping her eyes, ‘You are so nice.’ Should Lee translate for Naruto too? ‘Lee, is this okay?’ He nodded. Of course! Whatever it was, yes!

“Don’t worry Bushy Brows, I’ll help look out for Sakura!”

“Uh, thank you, but I do not believe it will be necessary.” Lee said. It was near twilight, unless they were close to the fire, Sakura would have trouble.

Going around the circle, Lee discovered Sakura did not know many names, and spelled them out, pronunciation and creating signs would come later. Alright! Tomorrow, he would practice names with Sakura! For now, his stomach grumbled… others were snacking, perhaps they should too! A line trailed behind him and Lee headed for the blanket: Sakura on his arm, nodding politely as Naruto talked nonstop, hands a mess of broken signs. It was better than nothing!

“Lee, let Sakura hang with us girls for a while.” Ino said from beside Tenten and Hinata, “Come on, she doesn’t have to follow you everywhere.” But.. how would Sakura understand them? Lee translated anyway.

“Oh, umm…” Sakura gripped his arm tighter, “Buut Guy-sensei said I should alwways follow mmy dreams, and he’s going this waay.” Sakura! Lee’s mouth dropped open and tears poured down his cheeks. He was Sakura’s dreams!

“Oh my god there’s two of them!” Tenten said, but smiled.  


“That’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard,” Ino said, then elbowed Sai, “Why don’t you say anything like that!”

“Well-.”

“Aww man, Bushy Brows,” Naruto said. “Does that mean Sakura’s your girlfriend?” 

“Yes!” Now everyone knew! Picking out snacks, he rejoined around the pit. It was a clear night, stars shining overhead through a black, cloudless sky, a pleasant breeze, perfect with the warmth of the fire, all his friends together. This was nice.

“Hey let’s not forget what we’re here for!” Choji said. “Shikamaru’s promotion!”

“Yeah, exactly! So much has happened... I know it’s been a while, but so many Shinobi lost their lives… our Third Hokage included, and Sasuke leaving... I thought we could use a reminder of all the good.” Ino said. It has been a lot.

“Like what?” Kiba asked.

“Well, Lee’s recovery for one.” Tenten said. Others nodded, a few patted his back. Guys... “We were all worried for you.”

“Yes, you’ve come a long way.” Hinata said.

“You’ve gotten stronger too Hinata.” Kiba said.

“Arf!”

“Let’s go around and share good news.” Ino said, laying against Sai.

“Ugh, no thanks.” Shikamaru said, but Ino glared, and he flinched, “Fine, fine, sheesh... troublesome woman… I guess it’s good we can all get together like this, we’re pretty close for classmates.”

“Does that mean you still want my autograph?” Neji! Ino and Choji laughed. An inside joke?

“Oh man, you remember that?” Shikamaru groaned.

“Hey I got one! I learned the Rasengan!” Naruto said, puffing up. “What do you think, Sakura? Impressed?” What was the Rasengan?

“That’s a-amazing Naruto,” Hinata said. “Sh-Shino’s taijutsu has improved a lot too.”

“Oh, oh! We have a new battle formation!” Ino said. “What about you Tenten?”

“Well I learned medical ninjutsu isn’t for me,” She said, “Now I can focus on my strengths. Neji?” Right, she wanted to be like Lady Tsunade at first.

“My Byakugan skills are improving, I suppose, but there’s always one bird…” One bird?

“Sai’s people skills are getting better too, with my expert guidance of course.” Ino leaned over. “Sakura! How about you? Come on, tell me good news.” Lee paraphrased.

‘I…’ Sakura shrank, ‘I got to meet all of you today.’ Aww.

“She says meeting everyone!” Lee repeated.

“I knew it! You don’t get out much, we need to have a girls day! Seriously, it’s not healthy to be around boys all the time, you need at least one girlfriend, right Tenten?” Ino said. That could not be true, right?

“She’s right, girlfriends are important, especially when there’s so few of us.” Tenten draped an arm over Hinata.

“G-girlfriend? Buut,” Sakura said, hands jittery. Why -? “Ssorry, I have... I mmean, you are pretty… but Leee - ” Wait no!

“Sakura, Ino and Tenten are asking to be friends.” Lee signed. “Girl-friends, as in friends who are girls.”

“Oh... ssorry...“ She said. Lee wrapped an arm around her, do not run away... 

“Haha, wow…” Kiba said.

“She's rather clueless.” Sai said.

“Hey, did I hear someone talk about dancing earlier? We should crank this up! Come on Neji! I know you got moves.” Thank you Tenten!

“What? No.” Neji crossed his arms.

“Aw come on, quit being shy.”

“I’m not being shy!”

‘Sakura, dance with me?’ Lee signed, then stood and held his hand out. Nodding, she smiled and took it. Yes!

The electric, thumping music boomed, pounding through his chest. They moved away from hot, dying embers into the sultry night. What dance should they do? This music was so fast! Holding up her finger, Sakura bent down, then flung aside her sandals, bounced up and spun, orange glow weaving with shadows on her pale skirt like a fairytale enchantress. Catching her hand, Lee tugged, and she twirled into his embrace. How was she real? 

He led her, swinging, breathless and wild, body moving almost on its own, lifting and turning Sakura, warm under his palms. Yielding to his minute guidances, his invisible leadership with seamless harmony, Sakura trusted him so unconditionally, he nearly wept. Did she know how much her faith meant to him? He swept her into the air with a flourish, over his head, the world stopped, eyes locked, glittering, catching the firelight. Unable to hear the music anymore, Lee was lost behind his throbbing heartbeat. Or was it hers? They were one, flying, lighter than air, then Sakura was back in his arms, panting, gripping his shoulders.

The night faded back in as Lee caught his breath. Ino led Sai in a shimmy nearby, Kiba, Hinata, and Akamaru jumped around Shikamaru, whose glare verged on amusement, tugging Shino around and around. By the fireside, Choji munched snacks beside Neji, who refused to dance with a grumpy Tenten. She sulked, crossing her arms as Naruto bounded over to him and Sakura with a bubbly grin.

“Heya Bushy Brows, can I dance with Sakura?” Naruto asked, signing. More like, ‘Me I dance with?’ Then pointing at Sakura. Close enough! But ... Well, did she want to?

‘Can I dance with Tenten? She looks sad.’ Sakura signed. Uhh...

“What’d she say?” When did he get put in charge?

‘Please Lee? I will ask her, so you do not have to.’ She still believed that was a problem?

‘Okay, but Naruto wants to dance with you.’ Lee signed.

‘I’m sorry,’ Sakura signed, dipping her head, ‘Did you want to switch?’ No, he wanted to stay with her, but Tenten did look upset... Right! One with them, then back to Sakura!

‘You get Naruto, and I will ask Tenten.’ Lee signed.

“Ookay.” A pang of jealousy struck when Naruto grasped her hand, but he stomped it down. He trusted Sakura! Then why-? Heading towards Tenten, Lee peeked over his shoulder - Rigid, Naruto put a nervous hand on Sakura’s hip and Lee chased away his possessiveness with a smile. She was interacting with someone on her own! Crouching beside Tenten, he tapped her shoulder.

“Tenten, would you like to dance?” He asked. Neji stiffened, but didn’t turn.

“What about Sakura?” Tenten asked, a light pink dusting her cheeks.

“She would happily dance with you if you ask!” Lee grinned.

“Haha, alright,” She said. “But don’t expect to toss me around like that.” He did not. Taking her hand, they left the pit and waded onto the makeshift dance floor.

Dancing with Tenten was very different, taller than Sakura, she was about two inches shorter than himself, and heavier, though he would never say that out loud. He preferred life. Graceful, she was comfortable in her own skin, letting him lead, but never in complete control, taunting his influences with resistance. 

In small half steps, she strode around him, agile and smooth like water, keeping him at length, not quite close enough to compel. How frustrating, unable to set the pace, but her eyes glinted with mischief. She toyed with him, and soon he enjoyed her antics: thwarting his attempts to speed them up, keeping them moderate and steady. With a twirl, Tenten stepped closer, face flushed.

“I thought I fell for you once, you know.” She said, dragging them to a sway despite the racing melody. What, really? When was this?

“You did?” Lee said. How did he not notice? “What changed your mind?” Tenten spun under his arm.

“Oh you know... I realized we made much better friends.” She said, smiling, “And what I thought was love was actually admiration. I have a lot of respect for you, Lee…” He had the best teammates!

“I respect you as well, Tenten. I could not have asked for a better teammate and friend!” Lee said. “Are you okay now?”

“Yeah, things were confusing for a while, but…I think I figured it out.” She said, gaze falling over his shoulder. Trying to be subtle, Lee turned them... Ah, she spotted Neji! But what- oh!

“Does Neji know?” Lee grinned. Tenten liked Neji! It was so obvious now!

“No! And don’t you tell him!” Tenten was bright red. Aww, but Lee hated secrets. “Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him eventually. I just don’t think he’s ready to hear it yet, even if he feels the same way.” She spun out, releasing his hand, and winked. “Thanks for the dance.”

“Any time!” Lee gave her a thumbs up, she returned it, heading back to the fire. Now to find Sakura! Oh, leaving a grinning Naruto, she ran over.

‘Is Tenten feeling better?’ She asked. He nodded. ‘I hugged Naruto, was that okay?’ Aww… perhaps one day she would stop asking.

“Of course it was! Did you and Naruto have fun?” Lee signed.

“He sstepped on mmy toes!” Sakura seemed okay with this? ‘I had to stand on his feet, but yes.’ Oh right, her sandals were gone. ‘You have nice friends.’ Yes, he did!

What should they do now? More dancing? The Shikamaru circle had broken up, joined by Choji, Ino, and Sai into a bouncing crowd, a pile of discarded belongings beside the pit. Dashing in, Naruto waved them over, bumping into Hinata who swooned. 

Did Sakura want to go? They already interacted a lot… she bit her lip, fingers laced with his, watching him... Right! More dancing it is! Blending with the crowd, Lee wove around Kiba and Akamaru. Body heat radiated, music pulsed, arms brushed his, bodies jostled his elbows. It was a tight fit, but they etched out a space.

Shaping herself against him, Sakura interlaced their legs and rolled her hips, arms around his neck, electricity raced through him at the contact. Oh! But they were... a coy smile, a tint of red on her cheeks - was it okay? Shifting his weight, he smiled back - of course it was, dismissing his reservations. Perhaps his Sakura was not as shy as he thought. Was it all about embarrassing him? Take that away... Eager, Lee bent her back, her hair brushing the concrete, then lifted. 

No space between them, they twisted and gyrated. Stealing his breath, Sakura fit against him so perfectly, fabric pushing against fabric, warm friction, beautiful. Someone stoked the fire, flinging sparks and fervor, casting long shadows of pulsing dancers, denying the light. Lee spiraled, exhilarated as they found rhythm amongst the crew of spirited, fiery ninja, a tireless supply of youthful energy. At the edge of his vision, Tenten and Neji entered the fray. Go Tenten! Then the music stopped, a shock of silence and cracking logs.

“Dammit, incoming!” Kiba yelled. Wha-?

“Hey! What are you kids doing here?” Busted! Vague outlines of few scattered Shinobi overlooked the arena, surrounding them, beyond the reach of the firelight. Should they run?

“Ah crap, no names! Go!” Shikamaru said. Someone extinguished the fire with a hiss, the night returned in a steamy haze. Sakura’s hands tightened on Lee’s arm. “Scrolls!”

“You got it!” Tenten? They planned for this? Flying ribbons and shadowy silhouettes, the sudden darkness threw Lee’s vision into fits!

“Multi shadow clone jutsu!” Naruto said from somewhere to Lee’s left. Scores of talking clones appeared, copies of them all. “Over here! No, over here! Catch me, Mister, if you can!” Did those guards know their faces?

“Scatter!” Choji shouted.

Right! Dragging Sakura, Lee ran for the wall, bodies shuffled by, bumping and shoving. Hurry! A tug, Sakura’s fingers slid down his palm, and he gripped tighter. Do not let go! If only he could see! Perhaps Naruto made too many clones. Another tug, and he grasped air. Sakura! Skidding to a halt, Lee turned a full circle, no sign of her amongst the chaos. Sakura? Sakura! In a flash he was nine years old again, little Sakura reaching ... BANG \- No! Never again! He retraced his steps and tripped into someone.

“Sorry, I - ” 

“What are you doing? We have to go! Now!” Neji said, grabbing Lee’s hand. No wait! But he did not listen, yanking him towards the side, up the wall, and into the stadium. “Get down!”

“I have to find Sakura,” Lee said as Neji shoved him under a seat, “Let go of me!”

“Don’t be stupid.” Neji argued. “Getting caught is probably a suspension.” What?

“Come on out and we’ll go easy on you!” A deep voice shouted. Right, oldest trick in the book.

“If we leave, they’ll catch us out one at a time.” Shikamaru grumbled, crawling over from the adjacent row.

“Neji, can you -?”

“Byakugan.” Neji whispered, “No one’s caught... she’s with Shino and Kiba, our twelve o’clock. Naruto, Tenten, and Hinata on our three...” Footsteps stomped up the aisle, and a light drifted over their position. Wedging under further, Lee nearly cuddled with Shikamaru and Neji, so close their breath ruffled his hair. “Is she so inept you have to watch her like a child?”

“I know you kids are here! We have the doors covered, so give up!”

“No,” Lee said. He had it all wrong… “That is not it! I made a promise…”

“Quiet, are you trying to get caught?” Shikamaru said. How long would they keep up the search? Footsteps stopped at their row, light a hair from Lee’s fingertips swept over their position, he held his breath. Neji and Shikamaru froze. The beam moved away and clicking sandals faded. Whew, that was close.

“What’s she doing? I don’t…” Neji said, grinding his teeth. Turning towards Lee, he started… … signing? ‘Neji… hello, Sunglasses says…’ Sunglasses? That had to be Shino. “Ugh, Kiba is stopping her. What is it so far?”

“She said ‘hello Neji,’ and ‘Shino says,'' Lee said. Did they have a plan?

“Useless.”

“She is not - !”

“She let us know she can see you.” Shikamaru whispered. “‘Hello Neji,’ Shino must have us bugged.”

“Here we go,” Neji started, ‘I am sorry, Hinata please tell Naruto, Sunglasses: firework clones in two minutes, Plastic blackout ink in three, meet at dojo in twenty, if Lee says yes.’ Yes! He repeated the message.

“Plastic blackout?” Shikamaru asked. “Wah!” A stark white mouse crawled over his hand.

“Shhh!” Lee and Neji said simultaneously. It squeaked, melting into letters. One minute left. Run.

“Did you hear that?”

“I think it came from over here.”

Oh no - ! Stomps closed in on their position and Lee scrambled backward, down the bleachers, followed by Shikamaru and Neji. BANG, BANG, BANG, the sky lit up with an array of explosions and he sprang out, leaping onto the seats. 

Paper bombs rained from inked pigeons swooping at the guards. Shadow clones screamed and jumped around, triggering blasts with handfuls of sparks and… blobs of ink? Nevermind! Already Shikamaru and Neji were far ahead, racing up the outer wall. Lee made for the center, dropping into the arena. Where was Sakura? There! Two blobs, Shino and Kiba? dropped over, out of sight, a third with long hair trailed behind with two guards at their heels. Faster! Passing by the seats, Lee started up. On the edge, one guard seized Sakura from behind.

“I got this one, you go after the other two!” The guard said. Almost there! Huh? It was Akame-sensei from the Academy! Why-? “Start talking, girly, I want names.” 

“Llet go! Please!” 

Hang on Sakura! She created a shadow clone and Akame-sensei grabbed her wrists, prying them apart. Twisting, she wriggled free and kicked her clone down one side, then lept, diving right at Lee! Sakura?! Grinding to a halt, he windmilled as she smacked into him. Oof! No! His feet left the wall! They plummeted, a dead drop towards the stands. No matter what, he would protect Sakura! Lee curled around her as the ground rushed up -

Poof -. Wha - ? Thin branches snapped and broke under his back as they fell through a canopy. -Poof! - Coughing up leaves, twigs poked through his jumpsuit and he shook debris from his hair. Where… they were in a bush.

“Ssorry,” Sakura said, climbing off him. “Aare you okay?” Warm chakra prodded his scrapes. What happened?

“I am fine.” Lee signed. No, too dark. Well… Taking her hands, he picked her up and bolted. The danger was not gone! To the dojo! Wait no, Sakura needed to get home! Changing direction, he darted through alleys and over rooftops, landing outside her bedroom. She kissed him, and Lee could swear the fireworks were back.

Lee awoke the next day in his dojo, sprawled out beside a snoozing Naruto. Choji and Shikamaru were piled in the corner, Kiba curled up with Akamaru... What the heck? Oh right, they started a sparring game of some kind, playing until people left or passed out. Sticking a note on the door, Lee headed home. What a weird party. What time was it? Still bright out... Ahead, Dad barreled towards him, waving, Sakura holding his hand. Dad! Lee rushed to meet him. Hug!

“Lee I’m glad we found you!” Dad said, squeezing him, “How would you and Sakura like to go camping?” YES! Lee loved camping! They got to do so much! Training, cooking outside, survival skills, hanging out with Dad, it was the best! It had been ages since they went!

“Yes! Camping! I am ready, sensei!” Lee said, jumping up and down. They were going camping! Could Sakura come? Did she want to? “Sakura too?”

“I did say Sakura too.” Dad said, amused. Yes! Sakura never went before! They would get to teach her! Camping! Camping! Camping!

“Lee settled down!”

“Right, settling down!” 

“Sakura and I packed up already,” Dad said, handing him his backpack. “Go have breakfast and meet me at the gate in one hour!” Okay, one hour! Where to have breakfast... the bakery! Swinging through town, Sakura in tow, Lee bought her a bean bun, choosing curry bread for himself, then to the village entrance to wait.

‘Did you get in trouble?’ Lee signed, chewing a bite of bread. It was unlikely, they were back before dawn.

‘Mom never ... Guy-sensei came over this morning and told me to pack. I didn’t talk to her.’ Oh... was that normal?

Finished with breakfast, he stood. What was taking so long? It was not like Dad to be late... He paced, Sakura behind him, matching his footfalls. Did he get a last minute mission? Maybe this was a test! Patience! But usually they were not secret tests… Was this the correct gate? Lee poked his head out, yes this was the front. Then why - he smacked into Sakura.

“I am sorry!” He signed.

“It is okay,” She said. Lee held her hips. “Guy-ssensei probably hhas a good reason.”

“You are right,” He said, brushing hair away from her cheek.

What was he worried about? So gorgeous and smart... Lee leaned down and pressed their lips together. Electricity raced his rising pulse, her arms wrapped around his neck. He floated right into the clouds, she was so soft, so sweet… Something yanked him backward.

“Wah!” Oh no! Kakashi-sensei!

“Six inches between you two at all times.”

“Ah, leave them to enjoy their youth, Kakashi.” Dad said, walking over.

“That’s easy for you to say.”

Was he going with? It looked that way... How much was six inches? Following them out of the village, he held up his hands. Maybe that much? Aww, did this mean no cuddling by the fire?

“They’re not much different from how we were.” Dad said, taking his hand.

“That’s the problem.” Kakashi-sensei said.

“Umm, Guy-ssensei? Mmom was still sleeping when I left…” Sakura said. Oh right, Lee forgot about that.

“Not to worry, I already talked to her!” Dad said. Of course he did! Dad thought of everything. “Operation campout is good to go!”


	27. Black Ops, No Cream or Sugar

Early morning, in the days following his coma adventure, Kakashi watched Sakura demonstrate her Substitution jutsu outside Guy’s kitchen with his Sharingan. While her chakra control edged near perfection, he noticed her genjutsu affinity. There was something to explore. With the ability to manipulate chakra in both herself and other people, she could create and dispel genjutsu more easily than most, and may explain how she managed a tag-along. Speaking to Kurenai was added to his to-do list. But first... 

‘What happened to your wrist?’ He asked. The look Sakura gave was the same every time, a kind of panicked terror from years of conditioning. Clutching it, she responded with her usual meager excuses.

“N-nothing! I trripped, Iamm ssorry,” She stammered, avoiding eye contact. Sometimes it astounded him how poorly she lied, considering how often she made the attempt. “Iit’s nnothing, jusst clumssy.” Allowing himself a deep sigh, Kakashi nodded as Guy stepped outside and they left for Hokage Tower. 

Missions continued to roll in at their usual pace despite operating at a fraction of the Leaf Shinobi forces. Everyone pulled double shifts, taking assignments regardless of rank or standing. With Sasuke’s failed retrieval from Orochimaru, Naruto studying under Jiraiya, and Sai’s newfound mentor in Tenzo, Kakashi either performed solo, or ran teams of mismatched Genin as they became available. The council elected to appoint the legendary Sage: Lady Tsunade as their Fifth Hokage and sent for her to take up the mantle. Supposedly, she’d arrive before the week was out.

Being a simple escort mission, Kakashi was left with much time to contemplate. A meeting with Lady Fifth was imperative and he pondered the potential outcomes. It occurred to him Sakura’s removal from her home was inevitable, and Guy seemed the obvious choice to take her in. However, with Mebuki as a neighbor, it could be detrimental, even catastrophic. Sakura was his student, a child he helped nurture for many years, and was important to him now. Kakashi hadn’t wanted to get attached, to get involved, but it was far too late for that. By the time he turned in his report, he already made his decision and cracked open the classifieds. A few days of scouring the pages later, he headed out.

For the first time in a decade, Kakashi wouldn’t be late. As the mid-afternoon bustle died down, he walked past the tea shop, scanning the building numbers. It seemed ideal: an overlooked side street almost equidistant from the Jonin Station and the Hospital. 

Nestled on the corner, beside a duplex disguised as a single family home, was a four story stand alone apartment building. The front wasn’t much to look at, no ornamental, flourishing flora, only an old wooden bench in desperate need of sanding and a thin oak sapling. Each floor held a set of balconies guarded with iron rails. An older woman, maybe forty, with long, wavy brown hair leaned over and waved from the top right terrace.

“‘Ey there lad, are ye the guy with the appointment?” She shouted.

“That’s me.” Kakashi said.

“Yer right on time then, come on up.” Instead of using the main entrance, he flickered up the wall and perched on the rail’s ledge. She was shorter than he expected, about Sakura’s height. “Ay should’ve known... Ah well, come ‘ave a look see, I’m Mari, the lan’lady.” Opening the glass door, she led him into a spacious living room with plush, light blue carpeting. 

“Thanks.”

“As ye can see, new carpet, an’ newly painted.” Indeed the scent of fresh paint was pungent, stifling even through the mask, “Righ’ over here’s yer dinin’ an’ kitchen. Well, go on, lad, don’ wait on lil’ ol’ me. Explore to yer heart’s content. Will ye be livin’ all by yerself?”

“Uh, no, I hope to have... No, it’ll be two.” 

Kakashi wandered into the kitchen, not quite sure what he was looking for. There were cabinets, a sink and stove, a fridge... it was normal enough. Sakura enjoyed cooking and baking, so a kitchen was important. Vaguely, he recalled overhearing Kurenai tell a young Chunin to always check the plumbing and turned on the tap. As expected, water happened and he turned it off. Wandering into the bathroom, he repeated his sink inspection, satisfied with the results, then poked his head into the bedrooms. They were bedroom sized, matching carpet throughout, with closets and windows… Part of him wondered if he should’ve brought someone along.

“How’reye doin’ lad? Ye got any questions er concerns?”

“What’s your policy on pets?” Kakashi asked, returning to the main room.

“How many ye got an’ what kind?” Mari asked, hands on her hips. He didn’t expect to be answered with another question.

“Eight hounds, though they tend to - .” She burst out laughing. “I’m serious.” He regretted asking.

“Yer alrigh’ lad, jus’ be needin’ an extra deposit an’ you’ll be set. Dogs an’ cats we can handle ‘roun’ here.” She said. “Yer no’ half bad, laddie. Tis yers, if ye wan’ it. We do ask ye sign a year lease.”

The thought of attending several more viewings, or moving back into his family home, made Kakashi ill. This place was fine and if it didn’t work out, worse case scenario he increased his rent for a year. Before he knew it, Kakashi had a new set of keys in his pocket, slightly lighter shoulders, and a plan to charm Guy into helping him move.

As Lee, all dressed and ready for bed, finished a glass of water, Guy couldn’t help the rush of affection that inspired him to wrap his arms around his teenage child. Months of physical therapy, of grasping at the small victories, of pushing, but not too hard, he wept after the successful procedure. When he returned from his mission to an empty hospital bed and an apologetic Sakura, he nearly had a heart attack. 

Nonetheless, the hard part was over; Lady Tsunade revitalized his cells to a point where natural healing would allow for a full recovery, though not once did he believe Lee would be unable to fulfill his life’s dreams. Ever empathetic, Lee abandoned his glass and embraced him back. Many viewed his affectionate parenting as strange or even harmful, but Guy ignored them. What worked for them, worked for them.

“Dad?” Lee asked. “Are you alright?”

“Of course!” Guy said, kissing his head and ruffling his hair. “You know Lee, a colleague of mine said something to me once that struck hard. He said as a parent, there comes a moment when you’ve held them on your lap for the last time, or carried them for the last time, and we don’t realize it right away.” In one motion, he swept Lee off his feet, who yelped and laughed, “So of course I’ve decided that’s never gonna happen!” As he headed for the living room, Lee managed to deposit his cup beside the sink.

“Never? Even when I am all grown up?” 

“Especially when you’re all grown up! It’s a promise!” Guy said, plopping them onto the couch.

“Thank you Dad!” Lee said with a wide smile and wet eyes. 

Tearing up, Guy gave him a squeeze and stroked his hair, as he did when he was little to help him sleep. Unlike many of his peers, Lee seemed delighted to continue accepting such affections, and Guy once again questioned their lineage. His own father had been a tender-hearted man, quick to bestow a hug or a kiss regardless of the judgment of strangers. Part of him wondered if being an orphan forged Lee’s unabashed dire for physical affection. In either case, Guy considered himself fortunate indeed. As if no time had passed, his young protege succumbed to the embrace and snuggled into his vest, fast asleep. Guy sat a while longer, letting his thoughts drift, somehow landing on the day he chose to adopt him.

At the age of sixteen, Guy overheard Shinobi discussing the overabundance of orphans in their village, and while he was too young to adopt, the all too quiet silence of his empty home fueled his footsteps. Deep in the village outskirts, plopped on an unused chunk of land, was an old warehouse style building. Near the entrance, Guy spotted three year old Lee running circles around his young minder, who sat worn and tired on the lawn. Groups of cheering children dotted the field, adults and older kids acting as shepherds to an unknown game, a ratio of ten to one. However, this little one had a dedicated teen all to himself. 

“Hello, I’m Might Guy! Who’ve you got there?” Guy asked. The toddler stopped running long enough to grin at him, displaying rows of spacious baby teeth, then continued his parade, adding him to his skipping circle.

“Huh? Oh hey, what’s happenin’ man? I’m Hiroshi, and this little dude is Lee. I swear he don’t dig sleep, like ever.” Hiroshi yawned, dark circles under his chestnut eyes. “Must’ve gotten his molars or somethin’. You here to adopt, my man? You don’t look old enough.”

“I’m… entertaining the idea.” Guy said.

“Whatever dude, office is that-a-way.” He jerked his thumb. “Don’t go expectin’ nothing, it’s a little hairy ‘round here. Kids’ are doin’ some kinda jazzed rhyming game.”

“I see... Why aren't you two participating?”

“Well, man, Lee here - Hey!” Hiroshi shouted, jumping to his feet, and bolting. “Lee!” 

Little Lee was halfway to the treeline already as Hiroshi raced after him. A young red-headed woman broke away from a group of kids and joined the chase, but Lee changed direction to avoid her. Overtaking the pair, Guy swung the child off his feet, enthralled by the tiny, squirming creature with big, round black eyes and a clear itch for adventure.

“Thanks, man. Turn your back for a second and kid’s outta here.” Hiroshi said, catching his breath. “Lee, dude, you gotta stop runnin’ off like that, now we have to go inside.” He plucked him from his arms, and Guy felt the loss.

“No inside! Pweaze! I be good!” Lee wriggled and protested like he was being dragged to a dungeon. It was clear the child had far more passion than he knew what to do with, leaving his caretakers perplexed and fatigued.

“Wow, you’re one fast dude!” The redhead said, catching up to them. “You checked in? I’m Neema.” Lee jerked and thrashed, Hiroshi struggled to hold him. “I respect your free spirit, kiddo, but the ol’ lady will bust you again, ya dig? How about ice cream?”

“I’e c’eam!” Suddenly he became very cooperative.

“Hiroshi, if you wanna bug out, I’ll take Lee to the mess.”

“Nah, it’s cool, I’ll crash later. Hey, this dude is... what was it again?”

“Might Guy!” Already Lee struck a chord, a ball of youthful, misunderstood energy searching for an outlet. “I’d like to join you, if you don’t mind.”

“Far out!” Hiroshi set Lee down, “Hey man, follow Neema, she’s got the low down, and I’ll check you in.”

“Thanks!” Guy said, grinning. 

Inside, past an office, down a long hallway lined with small rooms, depressingly packed with children from infants to teenagers, a cafeteria resided. As they walked, he decided to converse with little Lee, choosing from the questions adults typically asked children.

“So Lee, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

“Swuiwwel!” Lee said, bouncing. Guy had not anticipated such an answer. “A nin’a swuiwwel! An’ I gon’ run ou’side aw o’da time!”

“Interesting choice, my young friend!”

“Yeah, an I gon’ cwimb ub awo’da twees, an’ you can come wiff an’ swuiwwels eat nuts!” If the invitation, while deeply moving, weren’t enough, Guy was halted by a request, supplemented with hopping and raised arms. “Cawwy me?” Of course he complied.

In the cafeteria, three plain long tables lined with tiny orange plastic chairs stood outside a modest kitchen. Abandoning him, Neema left to retrieve the frozen treat while Lee clambered out of his arms to watch out a window overlooking the backyard, filled with more playful children. His father would have loved to come. Children flocked to him, an adult as playful as they were, and he adored them. As he watched Lee, Guy felt a familiar presence and a gentle pressure on his shoulder, but when he turned, no one was there.

“Ou’side! Ou’side!” Lee leapt off the sill and climbed onto the table and sat in front of him, “Pway ou’side? Pwweaze?” Guy was struck by his overwhelming urge to scoop him up and take him home.

“Alright little dude, here’s your ice cream.” Neema said, handing him a little cup.

“T’ank ‘ou!” Lee said. He scooped out a spoonful and stuck it at Guy. “I’e c’eam?”

“Why thank you, Lee, but only one!” Lee took a bite, then offered him the next one. “No more, thank you.”

“Pwease? S’awe wif me?” Overcome, Guy allowed the child to feed him.

“Man, he sat with you for like, five whole minutes already!” Neema said. Guy would learn in the coming years how impressive this really was. “It’s nice to see him so chill, you know?”

“How did Lee end up here?” Guy asked as Lee leapt down.

“Same way a lot of kids do, man. Dumped on our little pad by whoever found him. We guessed he was around eight, maybe nine months at the time.” She said, “Little dude’s about to turn three. Before you ask, “Lee” came from the place they picked him up. Apparently he was abandoned in the clearing by the front gate.”

“I see.”

“Yeah, but if you’re for real, we can get you started. You’re what? Sixteen? Seventeen? Play it right, and you’ll be set to bring him home when you hit eighteen.”

“Well, I haven’t -” He stared, but Lee tugged on his vest, holding a little cardboard book with a large, brown squirrel on the front.

“S’owy?”

Before Guy answered, he became a jungle gym as Lee climbed onto his lap, twisting around until he settled, then looked up at him with expectant eyes and a thumb in his mouth. He was done for.

Jolting awake, Guy was still on the couch, Lee rolled over at some point, arms looped around his neck. Careful not to wake him, he stood and carried him upstairs to his room. As he tucked him under the blankets, Lee stirred and groaned, eyes cracking open.

“I love you, Dad.” He mumbled.

“I love you too.” Guy said, kissing his forehead. “Go back to sleep.”

“Yes, Sen… sei…” 

Ensured Lee was asleep, he checked the time, slipped on his sandals, and left for Kakashi’s tiny flat across town. The dead of night often held desirable traits for a private conversation. Arriving through the window, he found Kakashi casually reading in bed. Instead of joining him, Guy chose a patch of hardwood and paced, itching for a mug of dark, bitter coffee, but there was no kitchen. On the ground floor, the shared cafeteria offered no privacy for the Jonin who dwelled within the barracks. Pages turned, but he sensed the stare of his partner.

“Settle down, Guy.” Kakashi said, leaning against the wall on his bed, “Here, come sit with me. If you’d like, we can read together.” The offer was tempting, but not really. Kakashi’s taste in reading material was one of few things he never understood about him.

“Sorry, but I can’t help it.” Guy said. When Sakura hobbled into his kitchen, spouting flimsy excuses for her injuries, her and Lee leaning on each other, he managed to keep himself together for the evening somehow. “You saw, and Lee’s noticed! I never would’ve thought Mebuki’d take it this far, and after what happened with Lady Tsunade, how am I going to convince her to let us take Sakura camping?”

“Maybe you should let me talk to her.” Kakashi said. “We both know I’m more... persuasive. You’ll just end up making her mad.”

“She can’t stand you.”

“I’ll go as you.” A gentle knock thwarted further inquiries and Guy swung it open with a little too much enthusiasm for the hour. Iruka was ushered in with matching zeal and the door slammed shut.

“Not so loud, I have neighbors you know.” Kakashi said, though it fell on deaf ears, to coin a dated phrase. The last thing they needed was to alert the surrounding Jonin to their evening meeting.

“So... what’s this about, why am I here?” Iruka asked, yawning, “I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s late and there’s class tomorrow.” How Kakashi convinced him last Friday to come over at such a dreadful hour, he had no idea.

“Well, I hate to say it, but we need a favor.” Kakashi said. “And your silence, regarding Sakura.” Iruka plopped onto the bed beside him and tried to keep his eyes open. “Full disclosure, it could get... messy.”

“Alright…” As long as a child was involved, Iruka would be too. Then the pair outlined their concerns, sharing their observations and suspicions. Each retelling floored him and by the end, he was wide awake. “So you’re telling me, all this time…”

“We’re not entirely sure how long.” Guy said, plunking down opposite of Kakashi. “We don’t technically have any hard evidence. Sakura’s been healing herself, and we suspect using transformation jutsu to hide her injuries.” While he managed to speak plainly, inside he was broiling. “Things she’s been capable of for some time now.”

“…” Iruka’s head whacked the wall behind him. “Did you go to the Hokage? I mean, well…”

“Yes, and he was set to pursue our case, but met his end before he could properly investigate.” Kakashi said.

“The Police Force is still a mess, though we did try... It took a long time to get an audience with Lady Tsunade, being in such high demand when she arrived.” Guy said. “Since that meeting, we’ve been discussing possible outcomes.”

“Mebuki is aware that we’re pursuing this, and she clearly despises the two of us for... unrelated reasons.”

“You need someone she’s not paying any attention to.” Iruka said. It made sense. He didn’t like it, but it made sense. “So did she believe you? What happened?”

“I’ll say one thing, Lady Fifth sure gets down to business.” Guy said. “After hearing us out, she summoned Mebuki right away. It… didn’t go exactly as we hoped.”

“Mebuki denied everything, we expected that, but it dissolved into our word against hers pretty fast.” Kakashi said, leaned against the wall beside Iruka. “She accused us of hurting Sakura to incriminate her.”

“As if we’d ever hurt a hair on her head!” Guy was shushed yet again, “Unfortunately, that really muddled things. She didn’t buy it, but Lady Tsunade nearly threw us all out and tossed Sakura in the orphanage.”

“Obviously it didn’t go that far,” Kakashi said. “She’s scheduled to speak with Sakura next week, though I doubt she’ll get much out of her with Mebuki standing there. We can’t move forward unless we find hard evidence. We hope if we can do that, the meeting will be unnecessary.”

“What happens to Sakura if she decides in your favor?” Iruka asked. 

“Well, we haven’t -” Guy started, but Kakashi interrupted him.

“Sakura can live with me.” No one expected that. “She can’t stay with Guy with Mebuki living next door, and no one else knows sign language.” While logic justified his decision, Kakashi hadn’t made it lightly, and found himself looking forward to it more than he expected.

“B-but here? Kakashi, there’s no-” Iruka started.

“I’ve already picked out a new apartment. Speaking of, got any plans for tomorrow?” Kakashi said, laying his head on Guy’s shoulder. Convincing him wouldn’t be difficult.

“What? When did you-? Oh Kakashi, I knew it!” Guy said, tearing up.

“Relax, it’s not that big a deal.” Kakashi sighed and refused to admit he was pleased by the reaction. “There is some good news. Iruka, remember that letter I asked you about?”

“Yeah, what happened with that?”

“I’d like to know as well.” Guy said.

“Well…” Kakashi said. He managed to steal ten minutes of Lady Tsunade’s time after their meeting ended. She approved, but really made him work for it...

“If I may be so presumptuous, can we discuss the paperwork I filed? It should’ve made it to your desk.” Kakashi asked. Thanks to Iruka the documents made it through due process abnormally fast, and he was too grateful to ask how.

“Paperwork?” Lady Tsunade rummaged through a stack, and sure enough, near the top was a personal request by one Kakashi Hatake. “You want me to promote Sakura to Genin… I see here you’ve got signed recommendations from an Academy teacher, Guy, and yourself, as well as her final written exam. Very… thorough. Hmm... normally I’d say no and have her enrolled. A student’s aptitude determines how quickly they graduate. If you’re so confident, then she’d be in and out in no time.”

“Mebuki won’t allow it.” Kakashi said.

“Right... “ She mumbled, reading, “Chakra control... genjutsu type... You’ve already taught her medical ninjutsu? Since when are you qualified?”

“She more or less taught herself, I merely provided tools and guidance.” Kakashi said. He didn’t mention how much he learned in the meantime. While useful, he had no interest in serving as a medic.

“How long - wait, it says... eight? You got an eight year old to study medicine? How have you not had more Genin teams?” It was not as impressive as it sounded, but Kakashi wasn’t about to argue.

“I’m sure she would thrive under more skilled supervision.” One of his more carefully worded sentences.

“I see…” She leaned back, pursed her lips, and drummed her fingers on the packet. “Well, none of this means anything if she’s not cut out to be a Shinobi, which is what the Academy determines. You, Guy, and Iruka all affirm that, with her situation, she’s still mentally and physically fit for active duty?” Kakashi wanted very much to point out the numerous ninja who’s sound mind could be called to question, but held his tongue. Instead, he said what she wanted to hear.

“Absolutely.” Kakashi said with his most convincing voice. It earned him many victories over his life, including a certain… Guy.

“Hrmph…” She grumbled, glaring at him, “Alright, fine, because we’re desperate to repopulate our ranks. Give her a field test, and if she proves herself, I’ll agree to the promotion. This village is hanging by a thread, I don’t need to tell you we’re barely keeping up. If we let up now, it’ll signal our weakness to our enemies... You and Guy broke a lot of rules, I’m holding you both responsible if she can’t cut it in the field. Plus she’ll need an interpreter, preferably a Genin, which I guess is Rock Lee.”

“Not a problem.” He said. They got off incredibly easy, all things considered. “Thank you, Lady -”

“One last thing, Kakashi. Someone needs to pay her Academy tuition fees.” Her slight smirk indicated she saved this bit intentionally, “I’m sure Iruka contributed his fair share in her education, I'll be sure to give him a bonus.”

“That’s harsh.” Iruka said after his retelling. “I didn’t do all that much. So what do you need from me in all this?”

“We’re taking the kids out of town and we’d like you to do some digging. Mebuki won’t expect anything while we’re gone, so see if you can’t find anything incriminating.”

“...Alright.” Iruka said, “If I find anything, I’ll turn it over to Lady Hokage immediately.”

“Thanks, we owe you one.” Guy said. Iruka sighed and with great effort, pulled himself up.

“No, just make sure the kids are safe. Honestly, I feel like I’ve got the easy part.” He said, then yawned. The exhaustion hit him all at once. “What time are you moving? I can come after school.”

“Not to worry, I’ll handle it! In fact, if we don’t have all of Kakashi’s belongings moved before school lets out, I’ll do one thousand laps around the Leaf Village, in cartwheels! That’s a promise!”

“There you go again… never a dull moment.” Kakashi said with fondness, joining Iruka at the door. “I’ll walk you home, I have an errand to run anyway.” Guy would wait for his return.

Iruka’s home wasn’t much of a detour, a few streets from the Academy, fairly close to his new apartment. After ensuring the schoolteacher made it home without passing out in an alleyway, Kakashi did an about face and strolled towards Anbu HQ, near Hokage tower as astronomical twilight broke through the dark in indigo hues.

‘Transform.’ Kakashi felt his imitation of Guy was rather spot on, from his confident, deliberate swagger, unzipped vest, and unmatched, charming grin. Lingering outside, he heard the lockers clang shut, and soon a squad of four filtered out into the early morning, masks on their hips, chatting. Mebuki spotted him and stopped, crossing her arms, the other three fell quiet. Recognizing they were likely participants in Sakura’s hangover, he put on Guy’s best, winning smile.

“Good morning ladies, mind if I speak with Mebuki a moment? It won’t take long.” He said, not the least bit put off by Guy’s deeper voice from his own throat.

“Heck yeah you can!” Mayumi said, looking him over, brushing her wavy russet hair from her face. While Guy had many admirers, Kakashi was never concerned.

“Mayumi!” Mebuki glared at her, “Anything you need to say to me, you can say in front of them.” He hoped she would say that.

“Of course! I apologize.” Kakashi couldn’t quite achieve Guy’s sparkle, which succeeded in deepening her frown, but nonetheless persuaded smiles from her colleagues. Just as well. “Lee and I are going camping tonight, so I won’t be able to watch Sakura. I realize this is a major inconvenience-”

“You're damn right it is.” She said, glad everyone would see Mr-Nice-Guy throwing her to the wolves. “How do you expect me to find someone to check on her so last minute? It’s impossible! Some people have to sleep during the day. How could you do this to me? What do you expect me to do? And after what you just tried to pull-”

“You tell him!” Keiko said, laughing.

“Again, I deeply apologize.” Kakashi said. “Lee’s been asking me to go for some time and-”

“Well that’s not good enough!” Mebuki said.

“You should make him take her along.” Mayumi said, nudging her. “That’ll show him.” Mebuki’s expression turned more sour, if it were possible, and Kakashi dropped his to match, as if taking Sakura were such a problem. It worked like a charm.

“You know what? It would serve you right, I deserve a break anyway.” Mebuki said, sneering.

“Of course you do, honey. You do everything for that kid.”

“Your damn right I do.”

“Fine.” Kakashi said, almost impressed by her echo chamber. “Just this once.”


	28. Sakura: Wishing on a Dewdrop

Sakura never left the Hidden Leaf before. With Lee’s hand in hers, walking behind Kakashi-sensei and Guy-sensei, she stared back at the gate as it faded in the distance. It smelled different out here somehow. Fresher maybe? It was so… open. As if she walked a tightrope her whole life and someone removed the safety net, but she could breathe. That didn’t make any sense, did it? Outside was outside... From this side, the village wall loomed over their trail, casting a static shadow at their heels.

It defended them, it sheltered them, it... isolated her. What would it be like to come and go freely? It must be nice, but... Someone like her couldn’t be trusted on their own. Still... how would it feel to let go of Lee’s hand, just once? What would it feel like to be out here without him? Maybe thrilling and… terrifying. Instead, she held it tighter. Lee had the best hands, always warm, even with the bandages.

Last night he was wonderful, being with her in front of his friends, dancing and translating... she almost cried, she didn’t deserve him, his kindness. All she ever did was make his life harder. What did she offer him other than her pathetic, useless self? When her hand slipped, his friend Sh-in-o? and Kib-a? dragged her into hiding, rightfully annoyed... At this rate, none of his friends would like her much. Hopefully she could learn to do better, so Lee would be happy. If not then… she could stay home.

After Lee dropped her off, she locked herself back in the basement, tormented with guilt. Mom gave her a punishment, and she left anyway. Again. Did she know? Leaving her in the dark, even after she got home... until Guy-sensei let her out and told her to pack. When she asked, he said Mom okayed the trip, but... she never allowed Sakura to leave. It must’ve been a difficult conversation, no way he explained they were leaving the village. Maybe she thought they were camping in the yard, otherwise she’d never have agreed.

Either way, Sakura was going to be in big trouble when she got home, locked up for at least a week, or worse... But she got to hang out with them, so it would be worth it. It was rare, all four of them being together with no timer... Were they going to be gone an entire night? Why did they invite her anyway? Did Guy-sensei forget about being mad? She should be extra careful not to upset him...

Oh, she forgot to show Kakashi-sensei the note! Well… she was sort of afraid to show him. What if he read it and agreed she should stay away from him? What if Guy-sensei remembered why he was angry? A ball lodged in her throat and she teared up. Why would Mom write the note, then let Sakura go camping? Did they have a fight, then make up? Maybe one of them apologized. Should she ask him? No… it was none of her business.

Why were they leaving the village? Did they have a mission? No, no way they would bring her with. She stepped closer to Lee. This was no big deal for him, he explored so many places and met so many people, even telling her about a few. Always such fantastic stories, crazy missions with his team, sometimes dangerous. Maybe one day she’d get to see other villages, but probably not. At least she got to go camping. Lee tapped her shoulder.

“Sakura,” Lee signed, “I meant to ask, how did you know I was there last night?”

‘Where?’ What was he talking about?

“When you jumped from the wall, you did not look first.”

“I could not help it. Falling for you comes naturally to me,” Sakura said. Not a real answer, but he snickered, then covered his mouth. “Your personality is magnetic.”

“Where are these coming from? Not that I am complaining.” He asked. Oh she had more, but she probably shouldn’t tell him Makeout Tactics was the inspiration.

‘Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.’ She asked, face burning. Maybe he wouldn’t notice she didn’t answer. Glancing at Kakashi-sensei’s back, Lee nodded and gave her a quick peck on the lips. He’s so sweet and warm...

As sundown began, the group stopped in a remote, wooded area and began clearing a space for rest. How far were they from home? Pretty far, probably miles away, since they walked for such a long time, following a thin, worn trail, then wandered into the forest. She took a deep breath and let it out… miles... actual miles... it was fine. Home was with her teachers and Lee, village or no village. Even if every direction looked the same, trees and plants, more trees and plants, and moss and dirt and logs and umm... 

“Lee?” Sakura called as he headed into the woods, running to catch up, he turned.

“What is it?” He signed.

“How do you know where the Leaf Village is?” She asked. 

It was probably a stupid question, she’d seen maps before, in an atlas, but it was different from being outside. She could find North, but how would it help if she didn’t know which way to go? Stacking their bags near a tree, Kakashi-sensei glanced at her and she tried not to wilt. Definitely a stupid question.

“Easy! It is that way!” Lee signed, then pointed behind her. It didn’t look any different.

“Okay...” She said. Better not ask any more stupid questions, or they might wish she stayed home.

Trying to be useful, Sakura helped Lee as he gathered fallen branches and sticks, breaking them into smaller pieces. What were the rules for camping? What did they need to do? If she was a nuisance, they might decide to never let her out of the village again. No no, definitely had to be helpful. Dumping their collection in a pile at their site, Lee showed her how to build a fire. It was hard not asking a ton of questions, but he was patient.

Apparently building campfires was serious business, and Lee was an eager teacher, explaining how they would make the whole thing disappear. Not leaving a trace was important, ninja were meant to go undetected, like ghosts. Once they had a little fire, they brought logs over as makeshift seats. Oh, where did Kakashi-sensei and Guy-sensei go? Weren’t they just there? Their things were still nearby... Stars starting poking through a veil of blue light through the canopy, cooling the heat of the day to a chill.

“Are you excited?” Lee signed, sitting on the log beside her.

“Yes, thank you for bringing me.” She said, leaning against him, but he pushed her away, holding his hands up between them. Oh... “I’m sorry.” Hugging herself, Sakura scooted away. 

Did she do something wrong? Maybe she asked too many questions. Was he upset? It probably would’ve gone faster if she left him alone. Maybe she said or did something around his friends he didn’t like.

“Sorry! It is not you! Kakashi-sensei said we must be at least six inches apart at all times.” Lee signed. He did? When?

“Oh,” She said, pulling her legs up. No cuddling? Why not? “Was he being serious?” Lee shrugged. Hopefully not, but he probably was... It was her fault, getting caught kissing him twice. Stupid… From behind the treeline, Guy-sensei appeared.

“Great work on that fire, Lee.” Guy-sensei signed as he and Kakashi-sensei sat. “I have a special task for each of you to complete before bed. Sakura, you’re first! I want you to go into the woods and find ten unique plants. They can be medicinal or edible, but you must know the qualities.” Was this normal camping? Or were they messing with her? He seemed serious...

“Yes, Sensei.” She stood, rubbing her arms against the breeze, “Now?” A sundress; stupid… not that she had much else.

“Yes, right now.” Guy-sensei said. Oh, well okay.

Biting her lip, Sakura walked around them and into the woods. What would Lee have to do? Would it be the same? If so, he’d probably find them all right away, he was much better at this than she was. The sky faded to deep blue as the night began to set and she shivered, looking back. Already the firelight was dim, though she hadn’t gone very far. Better hurry before it gets too late. How long was this supposed to take? Okay, edible and medicinal plants. Kakashi-sensei brought her plenty of books on plants before, she could do this. Maybe. At least Guy-sensei seemed to think so. Could Belle help or was that cheating? It was okay, right? It wasn’t like she could know more than Sakura.

‘Shadow clone jutsu.’ Sakura signed.

‘Hello!’ Belle signed, then took her hand. For some reason, it made her feel better.

Under her feet, the ground turned squishy. Did it rain recently? Or maybe there was a river nearby? Kneeling, she brushed through the weeds. Dandelions! Wait, was she supposed to bring enough for everyone? Was their dinner depending on her task? He never said how many! What should she do? Maybe a few were okay? Picking a few large blossoms, she pulled from the bottom and handed them to Belle, replacing the dirt. No trace!

Wandering further, she caught a whiff of dill. Oh, dill smelled so nice, very strong, but useful! Digging around, she struggled to harvest them without damaging the stalk. Was she supposed to take the whole plant or just the useful parts? Oh, there was asparagus beside it! Reburying the root, she and Belle scattered the soft, wet dirt. Maybe they would find chicory! On her hands and knees, Sakura crawled around, but Belle found some first. Aww, they were kinda sad looking, not very healthy... hopefully Guy-senesi didn’t mind? And now her hands were dirty. That was stupid! They didn’t even have a sink! Ugh, she should’ve thought of that before making a mess. There was probably dirt on her dress too...

‘Wipe them on my shirt.’ Belle signed. It was so dark, Sakura squinted, her hands were hard to see. ‘It won’t stain.’ Okay, if she was sure...

‘Thank you.’

After a bit more searching, they managed to gather ten different plants. Yay! Standing up, Sakura turned around… Where did the fire go? Night was in full swing, firelight shouldn’t be hard to spot, right? She walked in a straight line, so she wouldn't get lost... right? Oh no, don’t panic! If they had to come find her, no way she’d be allowed back out! They wouldn’t want to hang around her anymore either. It was too much trouble, babysitting such an idiot... Stupid, stupid… she couldn’t breathe, her chest seized. Tears welled up and spilled. It was too dark, this was exactly why she wasn’t trusted on her own! Mom was right... Belle hugged her. 

No, stop! Stop shaking, it’s useless! Crying is useless! Stop it! Deep breaths... What had Kakashi-sensei said? He promised not to leave, he promised. They were still there, she just had to find them. Belle nodded against her cheek and let go. Okay, okay, just walk back in a straight line, light or no light, it’ll be fine. Maybe she left prints or something, though she tried not to... Sakura kneeled and crawled around… No, not really, but there were some flat-ish spots, so that was something, sort of.

Standing, she brushed off her shirt, hugged her plants, and walked on, holding Belle’s hand. Stupid, she should’ve marked her path in some way, or at least watched the campsite more. Such an idiot, making so many mistakes in so little time. Bugs swarmed, tiny flies hovered in batches, getting at her plants, she covered her nose. Blech, don’t inhale bugs. Too bad citronella didn’t grow around here, not that she minded them too much. The basement cured that fear ages ago. Belle nodded. She knew.

Still no sign of the fire... maybe they put it out. Or maybe if she didn’t have a face full of spices, she might be able to smell where she got it from! Moron! She pulled the dill away from her face and crouched down, walking and sniffing bushes for stinky plants she might’ve poked like a doggy. They probably looked ridiculous… hopefully no one was paying them any attention.

This grass smelled all onion-y. Chives! Now she had eleven plants to give Guy-sensei! If she ever found him, anyway. Ugh, did she take a turn and not notice? Did she walk in a circle? Every direction looked the same! Even the bugs were… exactly the same, hovering in the same spots... What? Standing up, she crossed her arms over her plants and scrutinized her surroundings. Perfect mirror images, as if someone took the same photo and stood them up around her. That’s not normal... 

A genjutsu! A lazy one too… Gah! This whole time? She could scream! Did Kakashi-sensei seriously put a genjutsu on her? Why? Was she in trouble? Did he want her to stay out here all night? Belle huffed, squishing the dandelions.

‘Release!’ Hopefully she didn’t get in trouble for breaking it.

Around her, the area wavered and dissipated. A dim glow revealed their campsite, not far, but not quite where she thought. Kakashi-sensei and Guy-sensei faced away from her, sitting on logs around the fire. She could cry! Wandering around for so long, thinking she was lost, and they were right there! Hopefully they weren’t too disappointed… She and Belle headed back.

A genjutsu… why would he do that? Was he playing a joke on her? Even though she wasn’t lost anymore, Sakura stopped. If she was going to cry, she wanted to get it over with and not let anyone see. How long was she gone? Sitting, she pulled up her knees and waited, but the tears didn’t come this time. Okay, not crying was good, probably... 

Somehow it felt like she should knock or something before going back, like she was intruding on them. Was it okay to come back? No, she was supposed to right? Guy-sensei said to, it was stupid to think otherwise. Unless they wanted her to stay lost and not be able to come back. Belle smacked her head with the bundle of dill, then set it down, crouching.

‘Stop! They would not go through the trouble of bringing you if that was the case.’ Belle signed.

‘You're right, I am sorry.’ Idiot! This was not some elaborate joke to lose her in the woods! Besides, if they wanted to be rid of her, there were easier ways, especially for a couple of skilled Jonin. It would be pitifully easy. Okay, maybe don’t think about that either.

‘Are you okay?’ Belle asked. Sakura nodded and wiped her eyes, apparently she cried after all. Okay, shake it off! She released Belle, collected the plants, and approached camp.

“Kakashi-sensei?” Placing the bundle beside their things, she tapped his shoulder, his body jerked and fell back. Nope! No way, she didn’t jump or shriek or scream or ... oh who was she kidding? She probably frightened every bunny in a two mile radius. So much for stealth.

In his place was a man made of straw dressed in his uniform, mask and everything. Was Guy-sensei a fake too? … A posed wooden dummy in a green jumpsuit and a black wig. HOW?! How did that fool her? It looked nothing like him! What was she supposed to do now? Kneeling beside the scarecrow, face a piece of sanded tree bark, an eye scribbled on in black ink, it reminded her of a paper bag she decorated for a game when she was little. At some point, she lost it and had to make a new one, it was probably in her room somewhere.

Why did they put these props here? Were they hoping she would be scared? Was she supposed to go find them? A knot in her stomach twisted up tighter. What was the right answer? Lifting the fake Kakashi-sensei under the arms, Sakura dragged him over in front of the training dummy. Why was he so heavy? Seriously, she was exercising more, ever since trying to carry Sad One. Not enough, apparently. 

Bits of loose straw poked out around the vest, leaving a light trail from where he fell. Oh no! Scooping it up, she stuffed it back in. Poor scarecrow, falling apart... she had this ridiculous urge to sit them up and talk to them, pretend they were real. They would be perfect friends. No one would have to listen to her messed up words, and she would have people to talk to, a little pretend family… like Belle kind of was... She shook her head. Noo, stop that, no need to lose it, Sakura.

Where was Lee? Maybe his assignment was harder than hers. Should she wait for him to get back? Then they could figure this out together. If he came back… Of course he would, unless they told him not to. Laying beside the scarecrow Kakashi-sensei, she faced him - it - and touched his - its - hand. Cold, dry, pokey... What did she expect? 

How did he get its hair to look like that? It was almost identical to his fluffy gray tufts. Maybe it was from an animal, one of those bunnies she sent running… Could this be a transformation jutsu? If it was, the only way to dispel it was to knock him out, and no way she was doing that. Unless he cancelled it himself… she sat up.

‘Transform.’ Sakura signed.

Concentrating on the form she wanted, it should look like her, as theirs did. Glass eyes, shiny plastic skin, stringy, thick pink hair, and a simple thin, pullover red dress with large black buttons. Letting herself go limp, she flopped over, a little doll beside a scarecrow and a dummy, like a scene from some impressionist painting. 

If Sakura was good at anything, it was laying completely still for endless hours. Staring unblinkingly at the night sky, part of her still hoped this was all a joke. The bits she could see through the veil of leaves were clear, like the evenings she and Lee would sit out on their rooftop, the best type of weather. As if the earth itself were sucking her dry, she let all her energy seep from her body. That was fine, it didn’t belong to her anyway. Not really, even her chakra was fading…

Tingles coated her skin as numbness crept in. An itch on her cheek. She ignored it, had no strength to deal with it. Until something happened, or didn’t happen, she would lay there. The world became distorted, like she was a sticker in a popup book. Everything was flat, less vibrant… she could do this all night, for days and days… just fade away into nothing until she wasn’t her anymore, lost in her own head. It was fine. Sinking deeper and deeper from awareness, until her thoughts became blobs of fuzzy images, colors without meaning. Her body was somewhere else, floating away.

Movement around her, something shook her shoulders, and she felt herself submit to the force without contributing any of her own, head lolling. It was far away, the touches, the movement. In her peripheral, the wooden face loomed over her like the villain from some dark fairy tale. That was fine, she was too tired to care, too… gone. Another jostle and she was rolled onto her back, arms whacking the ground. It was probably time to move now, time to come back, but she didn’t want to, comfortable with the numbness. Did she have to? Sakura wasn’t ready to let the world exist again.

The scarecrow shook her harder, maybe getting angry. Would he hit her next? Better get back, just in case… her hand twitched and the spell was broken. In jerky, unnatural motions, she sat up, still not fully herself. Guy-sensei and Kakashi-sensei were back to normal, smiling. Fluttering, her mouth refused to smile back, refused to cooperate. Bits of stillness resided in her skin, how annoying. Go away! Taking a deep breath, she stood and stretched up, onto her toes, then bent down and touched the grass. Much better! Still no Lee... 

‘Interesting choice,’ Kakashi-sensei signed. ‘Go tell Guy about the plants you brought back.’ She nodded, mouth refusing to move, and he vanished into the trees. Was he mad? Did she mess it up? Oh right, she was still a doll. Releasing the jutsu, she turned to Guy-sensei and picked up her plants, biting her lip.

“Alright! What’ve you got for me?” Guy-sensei signed, plopping down across from her as she sat and spread them out.

“Sensei?” Sakura said, peering up at him. Was it okay to ask questions? Was this how camping worked? Or was she being punished? Hopefully it wasn’t that, Guy-sensei was straightforward with punishments, but Kakashi-sensei had a knack for the unusual. She’d prefer Guy-sensei’s any day. “Am I in trouble?”

“Of course not.” Guy-sensei signed with a grin, “Consider this all part of your training!” Was camping a type of training? No one told her there was training. If she’d known, she might have brought more books and notepads.

“Yes, Guy-sensei. I’m sorry.” Sakura said, toying with one of the dandelion stems. Idiot, she should’ve guessed this whole thing was more lessons. After all, Kakashi-sensei said they would get more time together.

“No need to apologize, now what have you brought?” Guy-sensei asked, gesturing towards her meager piles as if they were a farmer’s bounty.

“Yes, sorry. I mean… the edible plants are asparagus, onion, dandelions, chives, dill, garlic and elderflowers. The medicinal plants are chicory, peppermint, hyssop, rosemary.” She said, pointing each one out, but he didn’t move. Oh, the properties!

“Um, chicory is toxic to internal parasites, peppermint is good for upset tummies and can help relax muscles. Hyssop is an antiseptic for wounds, and rosemary is anti-inflammatory, and helps with some headaches.” She said. Taking a moment, he inspected each one, turning them over. Did she do okay?

“Nice! It looks good!” Guy-sensei gave her a thumbs up. “While we wait for Kakashi and Lee, help me prepare our meals.”

“Yes, Guy-sensei.” Sakura nodded, dazed, and followed him to the backpacks. Kakashi-sensei was getting Lee? Hopefully he was okay.

Guy-sensei hung a pot over the fire, the scent of freshly chopped spices spilled over the area. Rinsing her hands in a wash bowl, Sakura set a stack of wooden bowls and spoons on a blanket square as Kakashi-sensei appeared, followed by a droopy Lee. What happened? Was he okay? Was she allowed to ask? 

Lee dropped onto a log and folded on the other side of the fire. He didn’t even look her way, head down, arms crossed. Streaks of dirt decorated his leg weights and elbows. Having kneeled more than once, Sakura probably had plenty of stains to match, but elbows? How did he get those? Resting his head in his hands, Lee stared into the fire. What was his task? Kakashi-sensei poked her shoulder, then pointed at Guy-sensei.

“Go ahead, Sakura.” Guy-sensei signed from across site, opposite of Lee.

“Yes, sorry.” She said, filling a bowl and bringing it to Lee, but he ignored her, so she set it beside him, hopefully where he could see it.

Was it okay to sit next to him? Or did he want her to stay away? Just in case, Sakura left a gap of a few feet. Bowl in one hand, Kakashi-sensei leaned against a tree behind Guy-sensei, who plopped across from them, sharing a glance. Was there more? They looked ready to have a talk with them. Maybe they were upset… she messed up everything so far. Maybe they would say she had to go home. Setting her bowl down, she couldn’t manage a bite.

“Don’t worry Lee, you’ll get it next time.” Guy-sensei signed, giving a thumbs up and his dazzling smile. Lee hadn’t completed his task? It explained why he was upset.

“Yes, Guy-sensei.” He said. Poor Lee… Sakura reached to touch his hand, but he pulled it away, still not looking her way. A sharp pain stabbed her chest, but she tried to ignore it. Of course he wouldn’t want her touching him when he was upset. Such an idiot… she should know better. What was she thinking? Moron...

“Sorry,” She whispered, hugging her knees. Whatever his mission was, it must not have been fun. Suddenly, Lee looked at her and pointed, she followed his finger...

“Sakura!” Guy-sensei signed, a small frown pinched his brows together. “Please pay attention!” Her cheeks burned, she shrank.

“Yes, Guy-sensei, I’m sorry.” She was doing a lot of apologizing, this was not how she hoped camping would go. No way they would bring her anywhere ever again... 

“Get plenty of rest tonight. Tomorrow will be even more challenging!” Guy-sensei said. “Now eat up! Especially you Sakura.”

“Yes, sensei.” She said. Hopefully tomorrow she could fix whatever she might’ve broken.

Sometime during the night, Sakura awoke, dim outlines of Guy-sensei and Lee sleeping with backpacks for pillows nearby. What should she do? Where was Kakashi-sensei? It was too dark to read... Sitting up, she rummaged through her bag, pulling out her candle and matches. Was it okay to light it? It was much smaller than a campfire, so probably fine. Striking the match, she stuck the candle in the ground and pulled out Leaves and Petals. If she were at home, she’d be studying, but she didn’t think to bring anything more academic. In the small firelight, she barely made out the words.

Gather a desire

With diligence and rakes

At our fingertips, endless days

With patience and spades

Sow a dream

A hand stole the book from her grip. Hey! Without thinking, she reached for it, but Kakashi-sensei held it up. Oh! Did she wake him? Stepping back, she folded her hands. Was reading not okay? He handed it back.

‘Can’t sleep?’ He asked. Was he having trouble too?

‘Sorry, Kakashi-sensei.’ She signed. ‘Did I disturb you?’

‘No, but you should try and rest for tomorrow’s training.’ He signed. ‘Try meditating. It’s what I do.’ It must be difficult, if he’s insisting.

‘Yes, sensei.’ She said. ‘Thank you, I will try.’

‘Good.’ He signed, smiling, ‘Goodnight Sakura.’ Then wandered off to use Guy-sensei as a pillow.

“Goodnight, Kakashi-sensei.” She whispered, curling up on her bag.


	29. Lee: Overcoming a Phantom

As the first ribbon of dawn spread over their campground, Lee opened his eyes, Dad and Kakashi-sensei nowhere to be seen. Getting up, he pulled a jumpsuit from his pack and changed. Only a few feet away, Sakura slept, curled up around her little cherry backpack, chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. It was likely she was worried, but he could not help it. Not only did he fail to break Kakashi-sensei’s genjutsu, but… he could not face her yet. Sensei had been cruel in his visions and Lee was still reeling. Once he figured out it was not real... Sakura’s broken voice crying out for help in the woods, begging him to find her, to save her… Lee lost himself in his own personal horror story... 

“Please Leee! Where aare you? Please, hhelp!” She screamed and sobbed, sending him into a frantic search, high and low.

They sent her off, then expected Lee to figure out it was fake. How long had he scoured every inch of the forest? Following her strangled cries for help, even when the direction made no sense? Perhaps going in circles... only Kakashi-sensei knew for sure.

Shaking his head, Lee rolled up his mat, underside damp. Near the end, he discovered the trick when he finally found her sprawled out on the grass, blood pooling at her side… What was he supposed to learn by bringing Sakura into this? Dispeling genjutsu was an ability he had yet to master, and Dad forbade him from hurting himself, to do it properly... 

Did they believe stress would somehow make it easier? What was the point? Since swimming, Lee was more in tune with his chakra, had he been more grounded and less panicked, he might have succeeded. Sakura stirred and sat up, rubbing her eyes. When she caught him looking, she gave him a shy wave, then tugged her dress.

‘Can I change?’ She signed, then pulled clothes from her pack and his face warmed.

“Y-yes, I will, um... be over here.” Lee prodded the campfire ashes, packed up equipment, smoothed over prints, and tried not to think about Sakura undressing behind him... out in the open... beautiful, graceful curves... smooth, silky skin... … Quiet brain! Heat flooded his face, do not turn... he was an honorable shinobi! Perhaps they could cuddle before Kakashi-sensei returned... 

Sakura tapped his shoulder, wearing a pink striped sweater dress, one shoulder exposed, over green leggings. Not quite training attire, but it was adorable. An image of her, lying on the ground, weak, blood dribbling from her pale blue lips, a gaping wound in her side... Kakashi-sensei was going to give him nightmares. The two visions collided and he turned away, shaking his head.

“C-can I hhelp?” She asked, stepping back, as if sensing his rising ... 

What? What did he feel? Fear? Anxiety? Not quite the right fit. This feeling was foreign, but also familiar, in a strange way. Losing anyone would be an agony he never wanted to think about. No matter what, he had to become strong enough to protect those most precious to him, especially those who could not protect themselves. Unable to form the right words, Lee shook his head. He did not want help. Her presence moved away, giving him space. The dark mood hovered between them, he was the cause, but how could he fix it? He could not even fix himself.

“Good morning campers!” Dad signed, appearing from the woods, “Great job cleaning up! Now, somewhere in these woods is a scroll. Together you must retrieve it and bring it to me and Kakashi. There is a rendezvous point on the other side of the lake, beyond these trees. You get to work together, but beware! The terrain ahead is riddled with obstacles! Be there by sundown. Any questions?”

“No, Guy-sensei!” Lee said. Mock missions were usually low level... Then again... he glanced at Sakura, nervously chewing her lip. There must be a reason, and with Dad and Kakashi-sensei at the helm, there was no telling the twists they came up with.

“Nno, Guy-ssensei.” Sakura echoed, though she sounded... lost.

“Alright, good luck!” He shot a thumbs up their way and was gone. Picking up his bag, Lee handed Sakura hers.

“It is best we start right away.” Lee said. Putting her hair up, she nodded, and they started onward. “Do not worry, Sakura, I will protect you with my life.” Then she gave him a look he didn’t understand. A bit sad mixed with... something? Was she scared? Perhaps it was from being so far from home?

The ground was uneven and damp, littered with layers of weeds, tree roots, and fallen branches. Birds sang, insects buzzed, the chirps and chitters of animals hovered above the crunch of their feet. They should move to the trees. It would be much faster and cleaner, but Sakura shook her head when he gave the signal. Why not? Overhead, a canopy of leaves hid the brightest rays of sunshine, a glow of green and gold. Speed was important in this exercise.

“Sakura, why?” Lee signed, holding his hand up. “We would have a better view.” She pointed up.

“Ssorry, there aare shinyy things uup there.” Sakura said. Shiny things? What shiny things? Lee saw no shiny things. “They are sstuck under the leaves.”

“I see.” Lee did not see, but he trusted her. What could be shiny? Perhaps a trap?

“Um, LLeee?” Sakura asked, “Aare you aangry with mme?” His heart clenched.

“No, I could never be angry with you.” Lee said, stopping to pull her into a hug. 

“Are yyou okay?” She asked. He nodded against her cheek and brushed her ear with his lips.

“Yes, I am fine. I apologize, I let my defeat get to me.” She would not hear him, not well enough to understand, “I will not take it out on you.” Another flash of her under the tree, clutching her oozing wound, weak, trembling, begging...

“Lee... pllease... it hhurts...” It was not real! No! Cradling her against his chest, bloodied hands forming the signs, he verged on hysteria.

“Release! Release! Release!” He could not make it work! Over and over he tried...

Leaning down, Lee tilted her chin, pressed their lips together, and dissolved. He did not care if Kakashi-sensei yelled at him, he needed to touch her, to kiss her. Sweet, velvety warm, he closed his eyes. Safe and unharmed, Sakura was here. Her heart beating against his own was proof enough. Soft, cool hands trailed up his waist, around his back, then his neck, she rose up on her tiptoes, eager, but timid, a gentle request. Opening up, Lee took in her heavenly taste, her flowery scent, her gentle touch. A pleasant tingle burned through his veins, he had to be on fire, skin as red as opening the Gate of Life. But his vision flickered, Sakura’s dying gasps... No, she was alive, it was not real. Enveloping her against his chest, Lee deepened their kiss, squeezing until she squeaked.

“Sorry… Sakura...” Lee mumbled, trailing kisses down her neck, he tasted her bare, silken shoulder, she had to be real, to make those sounds. No genjutsu would be so enticing.

“Leee…” She breathed his name, and the fake Sakura was gone, defeated by his living, breathing angel, fingers laced through his hair. Groaning, he raised his head. They needed to find the scroll.

Taking her hand, they pressed onward. Lee was cautious. Between Kakashi-sensei and Guy-sensei, the traps and pitfalls they may come across would be imperceptible and dangerous. Where was the scroll? It could be anywhere... Perhaps the lake? Wait, the ground in front of them did not look right, like it had been resettled. Tugging Sakura, he guided them around it. Stealth and silence had never been his strong point, but he could spot a trap. 

They edged around a tree, toes near the possible pit, they almost reached the end, then fwoosh! Duck! Shoving Sakura to solid ground, he leapt after her. The pit was a decoy! Diving, he tackled her as - thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk - a flurry of kunai struck the tree a mere inch over his head. Sakura crawled from under him and yanked him up, running, dragging him along, stumbling. Boom! It came from behind. Paper bombs? Where were they hidden? Stopping, she panted and leaned against a tree.

“Ignition powder,” She said, waving her hand in front of her nose, “Stinks.” He had to laugh. Of course it did.

They could not pause to celebrate for very long, low growls closed in from all around them. Wolves? In these woods? No way! Large, gnarly beasts with thick gray fur prowled, closing in around the dense wood, mouths stretched back around pointy, pinkish teeth. Pinkish? Shoving Sakura behind him, Lee readied his stance as they closed in. The nearest wolf puffed up, head low, and let out a snarl. The nearest tree was behind them, a few feet back. Could wolves climb? No, it was unlikely, but if he tried to carry Sakura, they would be on them before he could twitch. One wrong move and a swift, powerful chomp would shred muscle and bone like twigs. Eight enemies... Fine then! Widening his stance, he balled his hands into fists. If it was a fight they wanted, then he would fight!

“Leee, rrelax, avoid eye contact.” Sakura whispered. Huh? “Boww your head, don’t shshow your teeth.” What? If he bowed his head, he would be wide open! “Please? They hhave not attacked. If wwe back away very sslowly, and do not turn, they mmay not. Please, Lee?”

If she was wrong, he would not be fast enough, they would be shredded. Already she followed her own advice, taking tiny steps backward, tugging his hand. Alright Sakura, he would trust her, with both their lives. Inch by inch, they made for the tree, fierce, hungry eyes from bright blue to amber green watched, then three peeled off. Perhaps losing interest. The largest wolf in front snapped forward, muzzle brushing Lee’s leg, fur puffed up. Freezing, he and Sakura waited.

“Sstay calmm...” 

Nothing more happened. Keep going... finally his foot found the base of the trunk, he focused on moulding his chakra and headed up. As they ascended, Sakura kept an awkward grip on his arm, like she feared he would slip. Below, the pack reduced to four, scattering to sniff the area. Grabbing onto a thick branch, Lee swung up and crouched, then pulled up Sakura. Trembling, she clung to him and let out a breath, then stared. Wait, that look...

“Leee! Yyou crazy mman, yyouwwerre g-going to ffight themm!” Sakura said. Was that bad?

“Well, I thought… I mean, yes?” Of course he was! It would have provided the time she needed to escape. Sinking to her knees, she took another deep breath, and the other look was back, the confusing sad one.

“A fight like that wwould’ve been awful, wwe probably got too close to their territory...” She said, “If you want to stay up here, there are less shiny things nnow.”

“Sakura, what are these shiny things?” Lee asked, still had not spotted anything.

Standing, she reached for a low hanging branch and tugged it down. On the undersized of the leaf were tiny, hairlike needles. Lee winced. Oh, that would have been… unpleasant, like charging through patches of cactus. The pack dispersed, wandering off for more catchable prey, at least they would not be followed.

“Alright! Let us stick to the trees!” He signed, “If I remember correctly, the lake should be close by.”

Leaping from branch to branch, Sakura on his heels, Lee scanned for the scroll. How were they supposed to find it? Without knowing what it looked like… there was no trace of it anywhere. Perhaps it was marked somehow. The sun moved past its peak and would soon dip down the horizon. Time was running out! 

Ahead, through the end of the treeline, Lee spotted a clear, shimmering, surface of the water. Yes! As he thought, they were close! Thunk! Swish! Another trap! Shifting his footing, he dove backward, catching Sakura, dropping them to the ground. A log swung down over their heads, and barreled into the tree they almost landed on. She grabbed his arm and pulled him down, behind a thick shrub.

‘People?’ She signed, ‘I saw clothes.’ He nodded.

Clothes? Perhaps there were missing nin hiding out in these woods. It would not be the first time. A kunai shot through their hiding place and lodged in the trunk between their heads. Spotted! Alright, there was no use avoiding a confrontation now. Yes! Perhaps they would be strong opponents! Standing from their hiding place, Lee’s jaw dropped.

Beside him, Sakura gasped. Oh they were strong alright, perhaps even impossible to beat. On the left, silver hair untamed and long, Kakashi-sensei must be fifteen or sixteen, dressed in casual light blue flood pants and a black hoodie, hands stuffed in the pouch. Above his mask, both eyes exposed, sharingan missing, but scar intact. A handicap? At his side, Dad was the same age: shoulder length jagged hair, a sleeveless green jumpsuit, and an orange ascot wrapped around his neck, hands on his hips. They were so cute! He could hardly stand it! Could they get pictures?

“I am Guide, and this is Bogy.” Dad said, hands on his hips. “To pass by here, you must first defeat us!” Kakashi-sensei shrugged and rolled his eyes. They did not use sign language.

“What he said.”

“I see.” Lee said. So this was another part of their mission. Right!

“Leee!” Sakura squealed, but he quickly covered her mouth. Sakura! Do not say it! Adorable or not, they were enemies! They must contain themselves! Turning her to face him, Lee removed his hand and waited until she tore her eyes from their teachers to look at him.

“Sakura, these two ninja will not allow us to pass unless we defeat them.” He signed. “Understand?”

“Wwe have to defeat themm?” Sakura asked, voice rising to a nervous pitch. Lee nodded. “You mmean... like a f-fight?”

“Yes! You must best us both in combat!” Guide-sensei said, taking his fighting stance.

Mirroring him, Lee was ready! If it was a fight they wanted, he would deliver! However... he glanced at Sakura. Perhaps he should end this quickly, but it would not be easy. Tapping his elbow, Sakura took a step back. Right, she would cover him. As he rushed Da- Guide-sensei, Lee was cut off by Bogy-sensei, who blocked his strike. No! Where was Sakura? Attacking in a quick flurry of kicks and punches, all of his blows struck air. Bogy-sensei was fast! Incredible! A flash of metal, Lee ducked and ripped his nunchucks from his waistband. Behind him! Spinning around, he caught a kunai in his weapon’s chain. 

“Come on, don’t hold back!” Guide-sensei shouted. “Give me your best shot!”

Was Sakura fighting Guide-sensei? Where - the thought was literally knocked from his head as a blow to the chest hurled him into a tree. Ouch… such agility! In his peripheral, a flash of pink and green, then a puff of smoke. Bogy-sensei was on him again. Why was he only using taijutsu? 

“Fire style: fireball jutsu!” Bogy-sensei jumped back. He had to ask!

Dodging up, Lee leapt from branch to branch, fireball after fireball struck, leaving burnt, smoking patches in his wake, heat licking his heels. Landing hard on the grass, he charged. A sandal flew over his shoulder, aiming for his opponent. What? Why? Bogy-sensei side stepped, then in a flurry of jutsu signs, his hands blurred. Dodge or block? What was coming?

“Water style: Dra- oof!” Poof! Sakura full-tackled Bogy-sensei. She was the sandal? From his left, Guide-sensei rushed her. Alright, switch! He spun his weapon and dashed between them, locking nunchucks with Dad, er Guide-sensei.

“Leaf whirlwind!” Lee kicked out, high then low, but Guide-sensei avoided and blocked all the blows, then returned them. Magnificent! Such perfect technique! Exactly what he expected of his amazing Dad! Time to show what he has learned!

“That’s right! Bring every ounce of your hot blooded passion!” Guide-sensei said. “Let’s see what you’ve got!” Right!

“I got it!” Sakura yelled from somewhere behind as he dodged a kick. Got what? The passion? “Run!” 

But they have not finished the battle! Why would they leave? She cried out, and Lee was knocked over by a flying Sakura, landing them in a pile on Guide-sensei. Mouth full of an orange scarf, Lee shook his head. Ow… Why was he a sandwich?

“S-ssorry.” Sakura said in his ear.

“Ka-, Bogy! Watch where you’re throwing people!” Guide-sensei said. Lee’s head hurt. Shake it off! Forming hand signs, Sakura rolled off, grabbed Guide-sensei’s ankle weights and dragged him underground until both were unseen. Kicking up, Lee ran at Bogy-sensei.

“Water style: water barrier.” Bogy leapt backward onto the lake, a wave rose from the water and blocked his attack, shoving him back. 

When did they get so close to the lake? Did they maneuver them here on purpose? Bang! Behind him? He spun around. Wah, Sakura! Digging his heels in, Lee caught her, sliding backward. Covered in a layer of earth, she breathed hard, sweat dripping from her brow. How much chakra did she have left? They were cut off from escape, back to back. Guide-sensei behind, Bogy-sensei in front.

“I hhave- ah-choo,” She sneezed, shaking off a cloud of dirt. “-the sscroll. Sorrry,” She sneezed again, another puff, “They hhad it.” Aww, even her sneezes were cute! No, not the time!

Turning, Lee nodded, keeping his eyes trained on Bogy-sensei. They had the scroll? Were they not meant to win this fight? Perhaps the goal was to steal it and escape. The sun was low, not much time left. Alright! They had not yet practiced this, only talked about it. Once. But... Lee reached behind him, took Sakura’s hand, and squeezed, tapping her wrist, then brushed her palm with his thumb. She squeezed back. Right! First Gate: Gate of Opening, open!

“Here we come!” Guide-sensei shouted. Bogy-sensei nodded, rushing in together. Fast! Not much time!

Spinning around, Lee crouched and folded his hands. Sakura stepped onto his palms, he threw her straight up with all his strength, then leapt after her. Primary Lotus: Dancing Sakura Blizzard! Wrapping his arms around her from behind, he spun them faster and faster. Pink pouches loaded with explosive tags and flower petals spewed in all directions, showering the area in a dangerous snowstorm. Kunai followed, and the fireworks began, smoke and flame burst, neither sensei visible. Tightening his grip, Lee tucked Sakura under his chin, increasing their spin and they turned toward the earth. As the blinding inferno ravaged the earth, heat licking his skin, he shut his eyes, bracing for impact. It would be close. Could she see well enough to - poof! 

Dark water surrounded him, heavy pressure on all sides. Wait, water? He covered his mouth to stop a breath. Why were they in the lake? Sakura must have missed. Where was she? Floating, he scanned, searching... Below! Sinking, hair floating around her head like flower petals, eyes shut, arms outstretched, mouth open. No! Pushing hard against the current, Lee dove, reaching - his fingers brushed hers. So close! 

The old memory - reaching for little Sakura - Was he doomed to be haunted? No! Another push, finally his hand clasped around her wrist and he heaved, pulling her against his chest. Kicking, they moved, but she slipped, no! Argh! He could not… Alright, chakra... concentrate… the white noise filled his ears, filled his body and his bandages came to life, twitching and unraveling, they wove around her, securing them together. He would not lose her! Which way was up? How deep were they? Air.. Instinct took over, Lee kicked, shoving water aside, and shot through the lake.

Push, push! His hands and feet scraped and slipped against loose, muddy, slime covered rock. No, the bottom? Wrong way? Bubbles floated up, passing his fingers. Why were there -? Sakura! No, she was - His lungs burned, screaming for air; no time! Out of time! In seconds, he would lose consciousness. They had one shot. Lee bent down and pushed off the bottom with as much force as he could muster, feet sliding. Was it enough? Water rushed by, and they broke through the calm, sparkling surface. He gulped air, grabbed onto the grassy ledge, and hauled them out, head throbbing. Coughing, he cut the bandages and rolled Sakura onto her back, checking her pulse. A little fast, but okay! Heaving, she turned onto her side and spat up water. A lot of water... 

“I-I ss-sorry.” She coughed, “Baad place.”

“Are you alright?” Lee signed. She nodded and he helped her up, heading for cover. She stumbled.

“Sstill dizzzy…” Oh right, the spinning.

“Sorry Sakura, but we must hurry.” Lee said.

A sliver of red orange hue on the horizon told him they had minutes. Entering the treeline, he peered across the lake over his shoulder, no sign of the enemy. Would they ambush them again? As he and Sakura trudged up the steep incline towards their goal at the top of the hill, his headache pounded. Not much farther! They scaled using small, sturdy plants to leverage their way up, dry dirt sliding out from under their soggy sandals, leaving patches of water. 

Keep going! Up and up, almost there! Reaching a level surface, Lee took Sakura’s hand and tugged her the rest of the way, then walked to the center. The sun vanished, taking with it the last bit of warmth. Made it, barely. 

Kakashi-sensei leaned against a tree trunk, reading, Dad beside him, arm draped over his shoulders. Both Lee and Sakura were still breathing hard. Lee wiped sweat from his brow, and Sakura wrang out her hair. A fire pit had been built, surrounded by large stones, two fish roasted over it on a skewer. Dad walked over and held out his hand. Sakura pulled a thin roll of paper from her backpack and held it out with a trembling hand. Oh right! Dad took it and squeezed, an absurd amount of water splashed onto the ground. That... was not good. 

“Ss-sorry sensei.” Sakura added, shrinking. Still scanning his book, Kakashi-sensei walked over.

“Alright, time to talk about your performances.” Guy-sensei said, “Starting with yesterday’s missions. Have a seat.” As he sat beside Sakura, mud puddles forming from their drippy clothes, Lee could not meet Dad’s eyes. Yesterday’s mission had been a total failure and today was a toss up.

“Sakura, you gathered all the requested plants and break Kakashi’s genjutsu to find your way back. Good work!” Dad signed, smiling. Way to go Sakura!

“Your reaction to the transformation jutsu was... interesting.” Kakashi-sensei said. Her reaction? What transformation?

“What happened, sensei?” Lee asked.

“Right, you were still in the woods.” Kakashi-sensei said, then signed, “Instead of attempting to break the transformation, or informing us she discovered it, she took a nap.” Lee winced, she looked close to tears. “And next time, don’t scream.”

“Yyes, Ssensei.” Sakura whispered.

“Lee, you needed to be retrieved from the genjutsu.” Guy-sensei put a hand on his shoulder. “With a bit more training, you’ll have it in no time!”

“Right...” Lee said. The image returned. Why could not rid himself of it? Sakura...

“Don’t beat yourself up about it. Sakura’s had a lot more practice with my Sharingan.” Kakashi-sensei said. She has? It would make sense…

“Okay! Now for today’s mission!” Guy-sensei signed. “Lee you showed great reflexes, strength, and keen instincts. However, you get distracted when your ally is in danger, and therefore put yourself at risk.” He knew it! A hand patted his head. “Today you’ve also shown off one of your greatest strengths.” Huh? Greatest strengths? “Trust. At the end of the day, you trusted in your teammate, seeing you two through each task. Good work!” Thank you, sensei!

“Now Sakura…” Kakashi-sensei signed. She looked terrified. “Really? Substituted you two for fish? You’re lucky Lee is such a good swimmer. Were this a real mission, or had he not been with you, you could’ve drowned.”

‘I’m sorry, sensei. It was not on purpose.’ She signed. ‘I am sorry Lee.’ It is okay, Sakura. They made it out okay. He would tell her later.

“That aside for now, your chakra control was perfect and you managed to steal the scroll from my pocket. You still need plenty of training and your hand to hand needs work. Have more confidence in your offense, you’re much better than what you showed us.” Perhaps they could train together! “As Guy already pointed out, your teamwork with Lee is good.” Kakashi-sensei said. “I’ll give it a pass.” Yes! They passed! Wait.. was this a test?

“What does this mean?” Lee asked.

“Lady Tsunade is willing to allow Sakura to accompany us on missions.” Guy-sensei said. Seriously?! “And if she proves herself, she’ll be officially promoted to Genin and added to a team.” 

Genin Sakura! Yes! She will get to be a ninja with him! Officially!

“However, there is a catch.” Dad said, knocking away the recollection. Huh? A catch? “Kakashi and I will be held responsible should anything go wrong, and Sakura is not to leave the village without you, Lee.”

“Me?” Lee asked, pointing at himself, “Why me?”

“You, lover boy, are her unofficial interpreter.” Kakashi-sensei signed. Sakura hugged her knees. Oh no. He certainly said ‘interpreter,’ but Sakura would see ‘babysitter.’

“Um, ssensei?” Sakura said, “Does my mom know?” Oh right, Ms. Haruno. These missions would have to be short ones... this could be difficult.

“No,” Dad signed, “Not to worry, ” Not telling her mom… Lee did not like secrets, but she was smiling, so he smiled too.


	30. Sakura: Plucking a Rose

It was well past midnight by the time Sakura stepped onto her porch, Mom would be still working. Lee and Guy-sensei gave her a dual thumbs up before heading inside, carrying her backpack. As soon as she dressed and showered, she was to head straight over to stay the night. Sakura should probably go back to the basement, but... Guy-sensei had more news to share. Stepping inside, she slid off her sandals and put them in the closet. Camping was weird, but if they were okay with it, maybe if she got all her chores done, Mom would let her go again. She walked into the living room, flipped on the light, and jumped.

In uniform, Mom sat at the table, arms crossed, several bottles grouped beside a wine glass. Did something happen? Why was she sitting in the dark? Oh… oh no! The table was covered in books and scrolls, the things she kept hidden in her closet and under bed! When? Why? Many of them were medical books, some fiction, history, cookbooks, how to’s... all more or less harmless, but… the texts on chakra control, healing, the jutsu types, shinobi analytics, tactics… Oh no… Kakashi-sensei’s Academy books with his name inside! This was bad, this was so so bad! 

Mom was not happy, knuckles white, long, red painted nails digging to the black fabric of her uniform, mouth turned to a deep frown… Why did Sakura have to keep so many books around? Stupid! So careless, idiot! Was this why Mom let her go camping? To search her room? Standing, Mom marched over and Sakura froze. Here it comes... Backhanded across the face, she hit the floor and saw stars, pain rushed to her face.

Wha-? That was - Holding her cheek, eyes watering, Sakura rose to her knees, ears ringing; Mom’s mouth stretched open, baring her teeth like an angry cat, screaming? Why? It’s not like she would understand anything! Lip reading was impossible like this, nothing she picked up was enough to grasp a single word, but Sakura understood rage. The tightening of neck muscles, hands clawing at nothing, like they wanted desperately to be around her neck, the tense, rigidity of her shoulders...

All this because... what was so horrible about being a ninja? Mom was a ninja! Dad was a ninja! Guy-sensei, Kakashi-sensei, and Lee were ninjas! Still shouting, Mom went back to the table and flung books at her. Sobbing, Sakura shielded her face as large texts struck her arms. Balling up, she let them hit her. Wait no, not the Academy books, please! Those were special! Papers were crumpled up and thrown, Sakura crawled, searching... Please stop... 

“I don’t understand,” Sakura said, one by one she found Kakashi-sensei’s books and cradled them, “I don’t understand. Mom, please... “ Yanking her up, Mom shook her hard, nails digging into her shoulders, then threw her to the floor. This was her own fault, she deserved to be punished. “I’m sorry, please stop!”

Tearing her Anbu mask from the pouch on her hip, Mom threw it. Why? No! Sakura reached for it, but a sandal stomped on her hand. Pain pulsed down her arm, she bit her lip to keep from crying out. It was supposed to protect people, why would she throw it? It protected her! The foot lifted, Sakura drew it back and hugged Kakashi-sensei’s books, catching her tears like little wooden pillows. 

Only three, where were the rest? Please… why? A kick knocked her back, pain exploded through her stomach, ribs, and back, over and over. She tried to curl up, but the blows kept coming. Please - It hurt so much! Stop! Heaving, Mom grabbed her shoulders, threw her at the wall, then picked up a thick blue text, raising it over her head. Panting, she leaned in, the scent of burning alcohol on her breath, and grabbed Sakura’s hair, forcing her head up.

“How could you do this tome?  After  everything I’ve done for you!” Mom said, then let go and brought the book down again and again, striking her anywhere she could. Pain blossomed until she went numb. Dizzy… her head hit the wall, throbbing… weak…her legs gave out, but Mom held her up. The strikes turned to stone. Fists?

“Please... please stop... I’ll stop! No more ...” Sakura repeated, choking on her words. A hand squeezed her throat, she ... faded... Kakashi-sensei’s books… no, keep them safe... So weak... Mom was blurry, Sakura couldn’t see, splotches of color, white… couldn’t feel anymore… numb… air ... “I’ll ... Please ... forgive me… Mommy .... I ... I love you ...” Was she talking? Or just gasping? Was she going to kill her? Sakura deserved it... At least she couldn’t bother anyone anymore... 

Then it was gone, and Sakura crumpled, couldn’t move... breathing hurt… Mommy was right, she shouldn’t have left the village, or gone to lessons with Kakashi-sensei, shouldn’t have gone outside, or left the house... Too stupid to be trusted, a burden on others, useless, worthless... A green blob hovered overhead, Lee?, and tried to pick her up. Pain pulsed, something wet dripped down her face… she shook her head, throbbing. No, no, she wasn’t allowed to leave. Leaving was bad, Mom said no, she had to stay… 

Across the room, another green blob held a dark figure. Tables and chairs overturned, objects strewn out all over, such a mess. Thrashing, Mom fought the blob, Guy-sensei? ... Sakura should clean up, or Mom would be angrier. Why was it so hard to move? Everything hurt, but she managed to crawl to a paper and add it to her books, ignoring the agony squeezing her insides. Had to pick up... Arms tried to gather her up again. No, no! Please! Leaving was bad, but he wouldn’t let go. Please… please... Sakura gave up and sobbed, she was in so much trouble. He carried her outside, the night air cooled the tears on her cheeks, then into his house, and sat on the couch, holding her on his lap while she broke to pieces. What was she saying?

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Sakura repeated into his shirt. Crying hurt, sitting hurt, everything hurt... 

Why was he still here? Shouldn’t he leave? Wait, this was his house, she should leave. It wasn’t fair, he shouldn’t have to deal with this. Why did he bring her here? Sakura tried to get up, to go home, but he held her there and kissed her cheeks, her neck, her shoulder, brushing her hair from her face as it clung to her wet cheeks. Still here... he loved her. Why… she was such a mess… a horrible, pathetic mess. Running his hands up and down her arms, her back, Lee pressed his lips to her forehead, then tried to take the books, but she held tight. No, she had to keep them safe… to give them back. Straddling his waist, she laid on his chest and closed her eyes. Warm…and he still smelled like grass and lakewater... she belonged here, with him…

Soothing, gentle hands prodded, ghosting over her aching skin. Sakura recoiled, tried to, but she couldn’t move… something stopped her… a blurry white figure leaned down, but her eyes were so heavy… pain receded and she along with it…

Sakura awoke on Lee’s couch and sat up, a familiar soreness kept her slow and stiff, squinting against the brightness of the room. A soft, orange blanket covered her, and she clutched three thick books like a teddy bear. White bandages shifted against her skin, wrapped around her forearms, her legs... she leaned back into the soft cushion. This living room was so different from hers.

In light and dark earthy tones, the plush, mossy furniture was inviting and comfortable, wood wall paneling, squishy beige carpet. Photographs of Lee, Guy-sensei, and his grandfather, were displayed on the walls, big, bright smiles echoing through generations. There were even a few with her and Kakashi-sensei in them. A brightness lived here, a warmth that invited love and joy… nothing like home.

A while ago, Sakura started using their kitchen to bake during school hours after Mom punished her for making a mess. Guy-sensei had been thrilled when he came home to find her trying to roll medicine balls on his counter, standing on his chair...

“Sakura! Already trying your hand at medicine!” He signed, picked her up and set her on the floor, ignoring the globs of gooey dough on her hands, “So full of youth and energy! Let’s get these in the oven and clean up for lunch.”

“Yes, Daddy,” She said. He froze. It scared her, she tried to run, to hide, but he caught her messy, trembling hands in his rough, large one. She thought he would hurt her, like Mom. “I am sorry, Guy-sensei, please...” He kneeled down and wiped her tears.

“I’m not your Father, Sakura.” He signed. Unable to choke out more words, she nodded. She knew that, she just wished he was. “But I am your Guy-sensei, okay? Does that work for you?” She nodded again. “Come on, let’s go over that recipe of yours!”

Pulling her knees up, Sakura wiped her eyes. Since she was little, Lee and Guy-sensei had been there. Before... she had only fractured memories of her Dad. He was long gone... in Hōzuki Castle, a prison for the worst kind of shinobi criminals. Mom never told her, she found a letter from Dad on Mom’s dresser. Sakura didn’t open it, but she could read a map. It didn’t matter, no one came back from that place. It wasn’t like she knew him… what did he look like? Even when she really tried, she couldn’t picture a face, but… she didn’t look like Mom. Did Mom see him when she looked at her? Was it why she did it so rarely?

Folding the blanket, Sakura stacked the books, moving slow and taking short breaths. Where were Lee and Guy-sensei? Should she go home? Oh… on the end table was Mom’s Anbu mask. How did that get there? Picking it up, her fingers trembled as she traced the red paint along the curve of the pointed ears and rounded mouth, half expecting it to smear across the white, animal-like face. Flashes of the night before echoed around her head. Mom’s violent, enraged face, books flying, Guy-sensei and Lee ... A tap on her shoulder, she jumped and set the mask down. Lee!

‘Good morning, Sakura!’ He signed, keeping his head down, then wrapped her in his strong arms. Nuzzling him, she breathed in his freshly showered, citrusy scent as his hands laced through her hair, massaging her head.

“Goodmorning…” She mumbled, melting, putty under his nimble fingers. 

Tracing his shoulders, she stroked down his arms and met his hands as they caressed the back of her neck. Such extraordinary strength in those hands, such incredible power, yet he chose to be gentle, to touch her with kindness and affection, never harsh or painful... Rising to her toes, was he getting taller? She kissed him, warmth rushed from his lips, he brushed her cheek and she pulled away. He touched something… another bandage. Normally he wouldn’t see… it was probably why he avoided her face.

“Lee, how... I mean…” What did she want to ask? “What happened? …How did you …?” He kissed her again.

“Dad is making breakfast, I thought you would like to shower.” Lee signed, then led her upstairs, placing a bundle in her arms from his room, “He said we would talk after.”

“Thank you.” She said. He smiled, tight and rigid, then went downstairs. A false smile on him looked more out of place than a kunai in a bowl of soup.

In the bathroom, Sakura peeled off the bandage in front of the mirror. A large, purple bruise spread across her cheek, distinct finger marks near her blackened eye, worse than usual, mirroring the ring around her neck. Near her temple, another patch of gauze, tinted pink, hid missing skin... As she undressed, she found the note in her pocket and set it aside. Should she show it to anyone? Did it matter? Maybe...

Carefully, she removed every bandage, hiding splotches of purple, yellow, and blue where books, scrolls… feet... impacted her legs, arms, shoulders, stomach... chest… back... Handprints, knuckles, shoe prints... Tears welled up and she sank to the cold floor, a patchwork of bruises, a human quilt… she really messed up this time, to get such a punishment. Should’ve known better than to leave the village...

Focusing her chakra, a warm tingle surged to her hands, engulfing them, she hovered over a bruise on her thigh, long and straight, like the edge of a hardcover, then stopped. She deserved these. If she hadn’t disobeyed, didn’t hide things... Maybe the ones on her face at least? Then again… did it matter? Guy-sensei and Lee already saw it. What good was hiding it now? Letting her chakra return to its flow, she wiped her eyes, picked herself up, and showered.

After drying off, Sakura put on Lee’s lime t-shirt and drawstring flannel pj bottoms, tucked the note into the pocket, then went downstairs. The living room was empty, but she spotted the books and gathered them up. If she lost them... Peeking around the corner in the kitchen, everyone was at the table with Kakashi-sensei. Did he see? So many times he asked about... Should she go in? But they were having breakfast, she didn’t want to interrupt. Maybe she should leave and bring Lee’s clothes back later. Guy-sensei waved her over, she ducked her head and obeyed. 

If anyone was startled by her face, they didn’t show it. Patting his seat, Lee slid over and she sat beside him, a plate of pancakes appeared, but she didn’t touch it. It was probably for him, she wasn’t hungry. His hand took hers under the table, lacing their fingers together.

Maybe it was okay to wait before going home to apologize? Mom was probably asleep, but then again, Guy-sensei and Lee shouldn’t have to deal with this, they had much better things to do. It was her fault, getting in so much trouble. Why did they come? Were they that loud? What was Mom screaming? Maybe they would tell her, it could help with her apology. Was she allowed to ask? She shouldn’t talk, wait to be spoken to, but… Kakashi-sensei’s books... When would she see him again? No way was she going to be allowed out after this. Goodbye books… it was nice... she learned so much, but she shouldn’t have them. If there was any damage, maybe she could fix it. She stood, walked around the table, and held them out to him.

“I am sorry, Kakashi-sensei.” She said, “I will get the rest.” How could she fail him so terribly? She couldn’t be trusted with anything.

‘I gave those to you,’ Kakashi-sensei signed. ‘To keep.’ But - Sakura hugged them and tried not to cry. Lee tapped her shoulder and pointed at Guy-sensei.

“Sakura?” Guy-sensei asked. Did he want her to leave? It’s okay, she should go back to the basement, where she should’ve been all along.

“I’m sorry for all the trouble.” She said. “Thank you for helping. I will apologize to Mommy too, when she wakes up.” Again, Lee tapped her shoulder.

“Sakura,” Lee signed, “Ms. Haruno said... not to come back.”

“But... what do you mean?” She said, a ball lodging in her throat. “I can… apologize.” They shared looks, there was something they weren’t telling her. Maybe she didn’t deserve to know.

‘That’s not going to work.’ Kakashi-sensei signed. ‘I don’t want you going back anyway.’ Why not? Mom got angry sometimes, it was normal... Guy-sensei pulled an envelope from his vest and placed it in front of her.

“Before you open that, if you open it, just remember we know none of it is true.” Guy-sensei signed. “I would rather you not read it, to be honest, but there are going to be questions you may be required to answer should Mebuki escalate this.”

Questions? What kind of questions? Who would ask them? Did Mom say something weird? Trading the books for the envelope, she turned it over. Her name was scrawled across the front, etched into the paper like Mom tried to carve it in. With shaky hands she pulled out the crinkled letter and smoothed it out. The letters were hard to read, quick, slanted, and harsh, with heavy use of ink.

Mom accused her of sneaking out to train, keeping secrets, and stealing her tools. No, she never went near her ninja tools, but she did hide her studies. What was she supposed to do? Why wasn’t it okay? After her accident, Mom forbade her from doing so many things. Why? It never made sense. At one point, she signed her up for the Academy, though it took a lot of relentless begging and promises… What changed? A hand touched her shoulder, but she hardly registered it.

No, no, this had to be fake... it had to be! Sakura’s hand flew to her mouth as she read on. No, she didn’t… sleep around for lessons. Ridiculous, unthinkable! They never… deep breaths… oh deep breathing hurt... No… Kakashi-sensei and Guy-sensei were her friends! They never asked for… payment... she felt sick. Lee was her boyfriend, but they hadn’t… and it wasn’t because… How? How could Mom think this? Breathe... 

The note - ! _I forbid you from seeing Kakashi, I don’t like how friendly you two are. Guy is sick of dealing with you._ When did she see her train with him? When did she see them together? The shaking got worse and she couldn’t stop the tears this time. _Never come into my house again you little sl-_ No! This was a sick joke! Someone was messing with her! Breathe, slow down, breathe. She coughed, pain wracked through her chest. 

Mom’s face, red, a vein throbbing on her forehead, screaming, throwing things, hitting her... Was she shouting the entire time? Guy-sensei and Lee must’ve heard the accusations. Had the whole neighborhood? Oh no… her vision was getting blurry.... Breathe… try counting… 1 … 2… In… Why wasn’t it working? Movement fluttered around her. No, no, no! What’s going on? Air... in… out… She couldn’t breathe… dizzy... the letter dropped. Heart racing, head pounding, panic… stop it, stop it! Blobs closed in, hands held her up, low rumbles… head… light... fuzzy… then nothing.

Blinking, Sakura stared at a white ceiling, blocked by a splotch of blue and gray. What happened? Kakashi-sensei? Why was he here? Someone might see him with her. He waved a hand in front of her face, then went away. More blobs appeared, Lee and Guy-sensei? Sitting up, she winced. Ohh, too fast, her head pounded. Did she faint? So stupid, she totally fainted, such a crybaby! They must hate her, making them deal with her… she should apologize.

According to the letter... Mom believed no one would willingly spend time with her, Sakura had to be selling herself. How could anyone stand to be around her unless they were getting something? But Guy-sensei talked to her, Lee did too, and Kakashi-sensei said she was worth teaching… he never asked for anything in return, none of them did. Every day, Sakura tried to be useful, she tried so hard to not get in the way. Two contradictions... Who was right? Mom didn’t want her anymore, didn’t love her anymore... All Sakura ever did was make things harder for everyone. She should leave, they would be better off without her, Mom knew that.

“I’m sorry,” She said. Lee kneeled beside her.

“We need to see to your injuries before we discuss this any further.” Guy-sensei signed, then sipped his coffee. Injuries?

‘A medic came by last night,’ Kakashi-sensei signed. ‘Nothing too serious or permanent, but you have some damage I’d like to address.’ Oh, the bruises? But...

‘But…’ How should she explain this? ‘But... this was my punishment for… if it is healed, then-’ Guy-sensei stopped her hands so fast she didn’t see him move, then helped her to stand, releasing them.

“Sakura. Pay very close attention to what I’m about to say.” He signed, more serious than she’d ever seen him. Unable to speak, she nodded. “This is not a punishment, understand? This was a beating, and not at all normal.” Part of her knew it wasn’t okay, but... as if to chase away her doubts, Lee hugged her, a dampness on her shoulder. Was he crying?

‘How would you like to come stay with me?’ Kakashi-sensei signed, ‘I understand if that’s a little strange, but I have an extra bedroom.’ Wait…

“You- you want me to-?” Sakura was lost. Why? After everything Mom accused them of? Why do they care? It would be so much easier, so much better for them if they stopped. “But, I thought…”

“You are always welcome here too, Sakura.” Lee signed, then wiped his face.

“Of course!” Guy-sensei signed with a thumbs up and a sparkly grin. “Everything will be okay, don’t you worry!” Was it really? They all did so much for her already.

“But all of this is my fault.” It didn’t make any sense!

“It is not!” Lee signed, she shook her head. Kakashi-sensei stood, leaving his mug, and walked over. The air around him shifted, though his face didn’t. Oh, he was annoyed now, no book, droopy eye fixed on her, arms slowly uncrossing...

‘Sakura, how is this your fault? Really think about that.’ Kakashi-sensei didn’t give her a chance to answer, ‘I brought you the books, I taught you ninja skills, I guided your training, I knew your mother didn’t approve.’

“I never thought she would take it this far.” Guy-sensei signed, “I’m sorry, I should have known better. Our hope was Mebuki would come around once she realized you were capable on your own. When that didn’t happen, and things got worse... well it doesn’t matter anymore.” Sakura was still lost. Oh… she took the crumpled paper from her pocket. They should probably see it. Maybe it would make more sense after.

“I’m sorry... Mom wrote this a few days ago.” Sakura gave it to Guy-sensei. He scanned it and passed it to Kakashi-sensei, who stuck it in his pocket and shrugged. Didn’t it change anything?

‘Any other hidden notes we should know about?’ Kakashi-sensei signed. She shook her head, ‘Good. So my place?’

“If it’s really okay?” She asked, but he stuck his hands in his pockets. 

Right, he wouldn’t offer if he didn’t mean it. Suddenly she was crying again, hugging him. Why was he so nice? More arms wrapped around them, like a protective, green wall, warm and safe. Sakura smiled, choking on a laugh. All her favorite people in one big cuddle party, Kakashi-sensei must be thrilled to be in the middle. When they broke apart, Guy-sensei stayed glued to Kakashi-sensei. Was his face red? An almost imperceptible dust of pink tinted his exposed cheek, which Guy-sensei kissed. Aww... 

“I have your bag!” Lee signed, then disappeared upstairs and returned. 

‘We should get going.’ Kakashi-sensei said, heading to the front door.

“Thank you, Lee.” She said. Everything seemed so surreal. “I will return your clothes soon.”

“Keep them,” He signed, “I promise we will still see each other all the time! And you can come over whenever you want! And if it doesn’t work, you can share my room!” She nodded, but… no way he’d want to see her that much. When she embraced Guy-sensei, she almost broke down entirely. Years and years of him being so close, suddenly gone in a day. She kissed his cheek.

“I love you,” She said in his ear as he hugged her back and kissed her head. “Thank you.” Lee joined in.

Sakura didn’t want to leave, but Kakashi-sensei was waiting, and probably had a busy day. Guy-sensei patted her head and gave her a nudge. Right, better not make him wait any longer. Putting on her backpack, she followed her teacher out the door. Where did he live? Would she be far? As they walked down the street, she watched her house, the only place she really felt she belonged. The spot on the roof outside her window where she and Lee would watch the stars, the porch she waited for him after school, the back yard where they played, trained, danced, cuddled... If she kept looking, she would cry again.

Instead she focused on Kakashi-sensei’s feet, a few steps ahead. Through neighborhoods, they passed by downtown and entered a division she’d never been. Inside his apartment, an army of dogs greeted them at the door, swarming his feet. Frozen, Sakura hid behind him. Were they friendly? Slipping off his sandals, he abandoned her, disappearing into an adjacent room. Dogs bounced, energetic. What should she do? Making herself as small and nonthreatening as possible, she curled up. Please be friendly... Her backpack was stolen, dragged off by a dog with sunglasses. Hey! Another knocked her onto her back. Oh no! Warm, wet tongues slobbered on her face. Soggy doggy kisses! Yuck! Then they were gone and Kakashi-sensei reappeared.

‘Let’s see about those bruises.’ He signed, ‘Hop on the couch.’

“Yes sensei.” Sakura said, laying on the gray sofa. Kneeling, he placed a cold, bare hand on her forehead, chakra humming. A warm tingling pricked her skin like tiny zaps of electricity, different from the healing she did on herself.

While he treated her, Sakura checked out the room. Over the couch, a large window brought in lots of natural light, illuminating the wall shelves opposite, littered with photos of his Genin team and house plants, a bookcase below. Beige tile floor and dark wooden cabinets were visible through the open doorway, probably a kitchen. Further down, a small, corner hall led to his bedrooms and restroom. Overhead, a ceiling fan with two exposed bulbs spun clockwise….Much like the one in her room. For hours and hours, she would stare up at it, willing herself to stop existing. Now it made her sleepy...


	31. Lee: Dancing with Incense

Dear Gaara, 

How are you? I am glad you are doing well! A noble goal! You're sure to succeed with that attitude! Naruto sure is convincing, he even got Neji to change his philosophy on fate. Remarkable! No favorite exercise? That is okay! I have plenty we can try, then maybe you can pick the one you like best. Dancing is the best! Especially with Sakura. We can show you when you come back, it will be fun. Sakura has a lot of different cookies you can try too! She makes all kinds of sweets, even candy. I did not know you could make candy. Perhaps we could come visit you sometime?

~Lee

With far more force than it could take, Lee pounded the training dummy. The training grounds were empty, quiet save for the rattling of his blows and rustling of leaves. He kept it together for Sakura, but he could not look at her bruised and battered face. Ms. Haruno attacked her, might have killed her if not for Dad. Why? How could she do this?

After camp, Dad jumped in the shower while Lee unpacked upstairs. They thought Ms. Haruno was working and Sakura would be right back, Dad had something to tell them. In his room, he tucked his pack in the closet when he heard a muffled voice and thumping sounds from downstairs. Thinking Sakura was in their living room, he went to check, but it was empty. Pressing his ear to the wall, he could not make out words, just muffled yelling, then thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk. What was -?

“Dad, I think Sakura’s in trouble!” He yelled, running out the door. Another THUNK hit the wall. Somehow Dad was there first, wrestling Ms. Haruno off Sakura, a book dropped at her feet, a smear of red on the cover.

“You backstabbing bastard! Turning my daughter into a whore! This is all your fault!” Ms. Haruno screamed and fought Dad with unrestrained, sloppy, but dangerous attacks.

“Get Sakura out of here!” Dad shouted, dodging and grappling.

“Right!” Lee tried, but… Sakura was confused, crying, panicked. She pushed him away, shaking her head, babbling nonsense... “Sakura, let me help, please!” With her injuries, she probably had a concussion at least, he needed to be gentle.

“You and Kakashi! That filthy friend-killer!” Ms. Haruno screeched, shoving Dad, “Turning Sakura against me! Now she’s ruined!” Finally Sakura let him pick her up, limp like a ragdoll.

Trying to ignore her, Lee shut the door behind him and waited for Sakura to fall asleep. Thankfully it was late and it did not take long. Promising to be back soon, he kissed her and left to help Dad in any way he could. The room was wrecked, Dad had Ms. Haruno on the ground, leveraging his weight, trying not to hurt her as she thrashed and screamed. Skirting around the room, sandals crunching on broken glass, Lee picked up some of Sakura’s Academy books. The stench of alcohol was strong, soaked into the carpet. Hateful, forest green eyes stared him down, filled with betrayal. No one ever looked at him like that before. 

“And you Lee! I hope you’re happy! I thought you were different, but you’re just like the rest of them!” She spat, “Sakura always was so stupid, believing you and your ridiculous dogma! A worthless tool!”

“Sakura is not stupid! She works hard to be a great ninja!” Lee argued. How could she say that?

“I bet she does.” Her face twisted into a nasty smirk and he felt nauseous.

“Ignore her, Lee, don’t engage.” Dad said.

“That’s right, ignore the woman, she’s crazy!” Ms. Haruno said. “Guy, get off me! You had no right to interfere!” How could they stand by and let anyone hurt Sakura? Flailing, she gained little ground, then punched the carpet. “Fine! You want her? Take her! She’s useless! Your damn problem now!” Suddenly he understood so many things about Sakura... how was she such a sweet person after living with this?

Kakashi-sensei strolled in the door, book in hand, and crouched in front of Ms. Haruno, then yanked his headband down.

“You! You’re the worst of them, Kakashi Hata-” She started, then fell limp. They were all friends once, right? What happened?

Afterward, Kakashi-sensei and Dad sat him at the table and laid out their past struggles. While Lee had no idea, he unknowingly played his part, staying close to Sakura as much as possible. Well before he saw her bruises, they were trying to get her released from Ms. Haruno’s care. All along they planned for her to live with Kakashi-sensei. Had Ms. Haruno been at work, Sakura would never have gotten hurt again.

Gritting his teeth, Lee pounded the dummy harder, ignoring his throbbing knuckles. What made someone hurt their loved ones? The medic, a woman named Oyone, said Sakura had a mild concussion, severe bruising, and broken ribs. A head injury was no joke, if they arrived any slower... Lee was supposed to protect her! Sakura was his girlfriend, his best friend, the love of his life! What was he doing all this time? How many times did Ms. Haruno hurt her? How many times did she lock her away? Why did Sakura think it was fine?

Memories played across his mind like an old reel - Sakura getting dragged away for playing too long, yelled at for trying to walk him to school, not standing for pictures, the weird sticky notes in her house - he should have read them! - her curled up on the kitchen floor, the desperate hug, her locked window, the basement, the fear, the excuses, and all those questions, so, so many questions. Ms. Haruno calling her worthless, stupid, useless, a tool... With a yell, his fist burst through the cracking wood, drilling a hole. All his fury, despair, and anguish erupted at once, and he wept, leaning against the dummy, letting it drain.

“Lee?” Tenten? When did she get here? She put a hand on his shoulder and he turned, wiping his face.

“What happened?” Neji asked, standing behind her. Lee folded.

“So many things... ” He told them everything, from the beginning, even Ms. Haruno’s accusations. The more memories he recounted, the more awful it all seemed. Old moments resurfaced, things he long forgot.

They were playing in Sakura’s bedroom with her stuffed toys and a little wooden cat. It was pretty, Ms. Haruno got it from another village and gave it to Lee. Painted bright orange with little whiskers drawn on, green eyes... Sakura held it, petting it like a real cat.

“Can I have it back now?” He asked, holding out a stuffed bear as if to trade.

“One second.” She said, tying a bow around its neck. He did not want a bow, and she said that last time! As he asked again, Ms. Haruno appeared in the doorway. 

“What’s going on here?”

“Sakura won’t give back my cat.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them. Ms. Haruno’s face darkened and Sakura set it on his lap immediately.

“Really?” Ms. Haruno crossed her arms.

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.” Sakura said. Lee could feel her trembling.

“Sakura. Pick it up.” Ms. Haruno pointed at the toy, but Sakura hesitated. “Now.” She collected it, tears forming, “Lee, don’t let her push you around like that. It’s your toy, so take it.”

“Uh, it’s okay, I don’t really want it anymore.” Lee said, trying to undo whatever was happening.

“If you let people walk all over you once, they’ll do it for the rest of your life.” She leaned against the doorframe. “Go on.” But... She wasn’t going to change her mind, so he plucked it from Sakura. “Good. See? Do you think she’ll do it again?” Numb, he shook his head and Ms. Haruno smiled. “I knew you’d get it, you’re such a smart boy. Now spank her and put her in the corner, then come downstairs.” He did not want to hit Sakura!

“But why?” He had the toy back, though he wished it was gone.

“She did a bad thing so she gets punished.” Ms. Haruno said. “I won’t always be there, you need to show her who’s boss.” But Sakura was crying and it was his fault. “Don’t you dare feel sorry for her, she did this to herself.” 

The memory turned blank and though he tried, Lee could not see the rest, though he recalled putting the cat in the back of his closet when he got home, so he did not have to think about it anymore.

“Woah, that’s messed up.” Tenten said. Did he recount the whole thing out loud? “What happened? Did you have to …?” 

“I do not know.” Wiping tears from his face, Lee shook his head. Why was he only remembering this now?

“Even if you did, it wasn’t your fault. You were only six.” Neji said.

“How -?”

“Simple math. As for the accusations, they’re completely ridiculous. Anyone who’s met you or Guy-sensei knows that. This Ms. Haruno doesn’t know who she’s dealing with.”

“Neji’s right, no one in their right mind would believe that crap. I mean, come on, it’s Guy-sensei we’re talking about!” Tenten said. “But… trauma does strange things to people. It sounds like you’re dealing with some repressed memories. You grew up with her too, you know? I’m no expert, but my dad was abused growing up. He doesn’t really talk about it, but he’s told me how it affected him.”

“That’s awful…” What else could he say?

“So what are you doing? Go see Sakura, I’m sure she’s missing you.” Tenten said. She and Neji were sitting close, fingers brushing. Did they get together?

“Right!” He said, stood and smiled.

“Wait I almost forgot!” Tenten took a scroll from her belt, flicked it open, and summoned… sandals? “These were Sakura’s, I returned everyone else’s stuff already. Oh, I probably don’t need to tell you this, but we’re here if you guys need anything.” Tugging Neji to his feet, she kept his hand. His team was the best!

“Thank you guys.” Lee said, tucking the footwear into his tool pouch, then squeezed them into a hug and ran off. Suddenly, he had to see Sakura right away. What if she was alone?

If he remembered right, Dad said Kakashi-sensei lived up Center road, all the way at the end. 

Soon he found himself in a quiet area, farther from his house than he hoped. Which apartment was Kakashi-sensei’s? Every balcony had decorations: potted plants, colored banners and knick knacks, lights draped along the iron rails... Except for one, way at the top of the fourth floor. Okay! On the panel of numbered intercoms, he pushed eight. A firm buzz then the steel door clicked open. Yes!

Inside, he winced and covered his nose. The hallway smelled like musty lemon cleaner was left to sit too long on the sun bleached rosey carpet. If he had trouble, surely Kakashi-sensei with his super nose would be gagging by now. As he followed the wooden, rickety stairs upward, he avoided loose boards and nails. Like a fork on a plate, they squeaked as he walked and he could not keep from cringing. 

The apartment doors were metal, painted a mint color, peeling and chipped, showing chocolate brown underneath. Sounds mingled through the stairwell, voices, music, talk radio, animals... There! At the top, number eight hung skewed above a peephole, beside a huge window overlooking the back alley. Before they could knock, the door swung open and Pakkun walked up. Several more dogs appeared, each wearing matching vests with symbols on the back.

“Lee, I’m glad you’re here.” Pakkun interrupted, “Kakashi asked us to look after Sakura while he was gone today.”

“Great! Where is she?” Lee asked, dropping her sandals by the door.

“This way.”

Lee was led through a living room then into a short, white hall with three doors. One opened into a mostly empty room, with a line of fluffy cushions occupied by more dogs. A window opposite brought natural light and in the corner, Sakura was curled up, hiding from the sun, wearing Lee’s pajamas, eyes blank. Oh no... 

Bisuke pawed at her, she shifted, but stayed non-responsive, unblinking. Not this again, he hated when this happened! Akino licked her face, nothing. Pakkun poked her shoulder and she fell over, splayed out on the rug like a puppet with cut strings. Sakura! Running to her side, Lee pulled her onto his lap and stroked her cheek, rubbed her arms, kissing her forehead.

“She ran circles around here this morning, cleaning, doing laundry, making Kakashi’s bed, then this happened.” Pakkun said.

“Sakura, come back. Hey, come back to me, it is Rock Lee, your Handsome Devil of the Leaf.” He said lowering his tone, brushing his lips against her more functional ear. Taking her hand, he put it on his throat. Touching would bring her back, she would feel his words and come back. “Come on, come back. I am here, Sakura, please come back to me.” She blinked. Yes!

“Leee?” Sakura asked, sitting up. “I mmissed you.”

“I missed you too.” Lee said, embracing her, taking in her natural, feminine scent. 

Tenten was right to tell him to come here. His lingering fury vanished, Sakura brought him tranquility, soothing his inner storm to a gentle breeze. Taking refuge in her arms, he held her. Sweet and slow, she pressed her lips to his, he dissolved, flooded with warm, fuzzy tingles... Whack! Knocked flat on his back, dogs swarmed, barking, warm tongues lapping at his face. Beside him, Sakura shrieked and laughed.

“Six inches!” Pakkun shouted. Oh, come on… Lee sat up and sulked.

“Kakashi-sensei has so mmany dogs!” Sakura said, sitting up to pet a bandaged one, “Thiss one is so sweet, aren’t you? I wwish I knew their names.”

“You’d best keep this to yourself, boy.” The dog said, his back leg kicking. Standing, Sakura stretched then picked up her purse.

“Uh, I will.” Lee said. 

“D-do you wwant to go outside?” Sakura said, waving for him to follow her all the way down to a shaded bench beside the main door. Instead of sitting beside him, she hovered.

“Cann I ssit on your lap?” Yes! Best day ever! Lee nodded and she straddled his legs, wrapping her arms around his neck. Much better, cuddling was the best!

“How are your injuries?” Lee asked, pulling back, “Did you heal your other bruises?” Her face was normal, thankfully.

“Heal the brruises?” He nodded, “Kakashi-ssensei did mmost of it. Aare you busy? Do you nneed to train?”

“I will later, want to come?” He said. “We can go to the dojo.” As he talked, she mouthed some of his words. So cute!

“Go to the dojo? Mme too?” She asked. He nodded. “Iif it is okay wwith Kakashi-sensei, I do not know when he wwill be back.” 

“Okay!” Lee said, he could wait all day if it meant spending time with Sakura. 

Leaning down, he kissed her, her hands ran through his hair. Sliding his hands along her waist, under the cotton of her shirt, he stroked soft, smooth skin and melted. An eternity must have passed since they had time alone together. Another eternity was passing right now...

“That’s enough of that.” Kakashi-sensei said, hands in his pockets, Pakkun at his side. They were sold out! Lee jerked back from Sakura and nudged her off his lap.

“Hhello, Kakashi-sensei. I’mm, ssorry.” She said, head bowed, then went inside. That was weird. Lee opened his mouth to ask, but it was unnecessary.

“She’s concerned about my reputation.” He said, rubbing the back of his head, “Come on.”

“Kakashi-sensei, I would like to ask permission for Sakura to train with me today!” Lee asked, following him inside. This would take some getting used to.

“Then you should ask her.” Kakashi-sensei said. Oh, this would take lots of getting used to.

“Sakura said to okay it with you first.” Lee said. Kakashi-sensei paused on the stairs. “Was that not right?” 

“...You two can train on the roof.” He said, heading into his apartment. Aw, he wanted to go to the dojo. No matter! A few other dogs lounged about the living room.

“She was at it again, boss.” Pakkun said. “The whole place, top to bottom. Your tea is on the counter.” What was top to bottom? “She even scrubbed the balcony.”

“Thanks Pakkun.” Kakashi-sensei said. “Lee, how about the three of us train together? You and Sakura can go out tomorrow.”

“Great!” Lee said. What kind of training did they do? Perhaps there would be sparring!

“Go let Sakura know, she’s probably in her room.” Kakashi-sensei said, heading towards the kitchen, “Then meet me topside.”

“Yes Sensei!” Lee said. The door was still open. Sakura had changed into a pair of flamingo pink jean shorts and a ducky yellow spaghetti tank top. Frozen, his heart stuttered. Wha- ? Legs... 

“Lee?”

“Uhh, Kakashi-sensei said… something... roof train. I mean, train on the roof.” When was the last time he’d seen her in anything besides a dress or pajamas? It was nice. She handed him a bundle of clothes - his pajamas. “You can keep them.”

“Oh,” She said, blushing “But… They… do nnot smell like you aanymore.”

If only he had something to give her! Alright, tomorrow he would bring Sakura more of his clothes, or he would do one thousand sit-ups! Wait, what was she going to do for clothes? All she had were the outfits from camp. Perhaps Dad had a plan? Heading out into the hall, they entered a door labeled Roof Access,  heading up hollow, metal stairs that clinked  as they walked, through another access door, and into the sunshine. The roof was all flat, encircled by a thin, rusty, five foot tall rail.

Reading, Kakashi-sensei stood in the middle, and Sakura bounced over to him, sitting on the ground. Should they be ready for an attack? Were they going to run laps? Exercise? Sparring? Perhaps they would run up and down the building. Sitting beside Sakura, Lee watched her, she did not move. Meditation?

“Good, Sakura.” Kakashi-sensei sat across from them, “Lee this is how we start every lesson. The challenge is to mask your presence, hide your chakra, clear your mind. You have five minutes to convince me you’re not here. Start.”

Kakashi-sensei went back to reading. Mask his presence? Lee heard of such a technique, but had never attempted it. Did he need it? Despite his inability to mould chakra, he was susceptible to tracker and sensory Shinobi too. Right! Hide his presence, disguise his chakra. Clear his mind... Stop thinking. Stop it! His hand twitched, itching for some movement, some exercise. Quit that!

“Pretend you're a tree or a rock,” Sakura whispered, “It helps.”

A tree or rock? Alright! He would be a rock! Rocks were solid, unmoving, tough objects. So he would be too! Though he broke rocks all the time, so not that tough… Nevermind! Deep breath... Rocks did not think, they were background, a piece of earth among other pieces of earth. He was another part of the terrain. An object. No worries, no feelings, no thoughts...

“Time.” Kakashi-sensei said. “Sakura, well done. Lee, you were starting to get it.”

Yes! Could he be Lee again now? Being a rock was not fun, he did not like it. Too still and weird. Perhaps this was good training for that reason... Huh? The rooftop was covered in small, dual bells, draped over bandages strung across the railings and overhead. He and Sakura were surrounded, locked in. What was this for?

“Next, stealth.” Kakashi-sensei said, leaning against a side rail, he pointed, “Bring me my book, and make not a sound.” It was on the ground on the far corner, behind a web of bells hanging on bandages.

“Yes, ssensei.” Sakura said. Standing, she removed her sandals, tucked in her shirt, and twisted her hair into a bun, adding a senbon.

Folding herself around bandages, Sakura twisted and bent like water down a winding river. Putting her hands through a gap, she pulled herself over a row, into a handstand, then flipped between another set. Lee covered his face, this was like watching her dance. Perhaps too mesmerizing, beautiful...

In a handstand, her leg brushed bells and she stilled. Was she - ? Slowly, she slid against it, keeping the clapper centered. Success! Then she grabbed the book and headed back with a nimble grace Lee suspected he did not have. Oh right, he was supposed to do this too! Landing in front of him, she held out the paperback.

‘Want to try?’ She signed. He nodded.

Okay! Between him and Kakashi-sensei was a web of noisy obstacles. It would be easier to leap over them all, if not for the ones above his head. Right, if he could not make it across, he would swim one thousand laps in the river! That is the challenge! Hopping over the first group of bells, so far so good. Over, under, between… almost there… He stretched his hand out- Jingle, jingle. No! His foot! The bells and bandages poofed up in smoke. Dang.

“Close,” Kakashi-sensei said, taking his book. “But not quite. Keep in mind this training was made for Sakura.” Right! But Lee wanted to be stealthy too! Sakura walked over, biting her lip.

“Ssensei -”

“We aren’t skipping anything.” Kakashi-sensei signed. Why would they skip things? “Sakura, why don’t you go first?” Why was she blushing?

“Okay,” She took a deep breath. “I…mmm…” She fidgeted.

“Should I leave?” Lee signed. Was he making this harder?

“Nno, please don’t! It’s okay, ssorry, I mmean… Okay...” Sakura said, covering her face, “I amm not sstupid.” Huh? Of course not. What kind of training was this? “I amm wworth teaching, and I amm loved. It is okay to s-speak if I wwant to.” Okay to speak? Was this another thing Ms. Haruno prevented?

“Good.” Kakashi-sensei signed. “Lee, you get the idea, turn negative thoughts into positive ones.” Huh? “Alright, I’ll go. I extend the same kindness to myself that I show my loved ones. I am calm, and all is well. See? It’s not so hard.”

“Uh,” What could he say? Lee banished much of his self doubt, and worked hard to overcome his weaknesses. However, he tended to overwork when he should stop… “I … listen to people who care about me.”

“Good.” Kakashi-sensei said. “Alright, Lee, you’ve been patient. We can do some sparring.” Yes!

Lee charged Sakura again, she dodged and blocked, all defense. Images of her covered in bruises, crying... he slowed. After he once again failed to protect her, he refused to hurt her. Attacking her, even for training, made him feel awful. After another flurry of pushing her back, Kakashi-sensei called a timeout.

“Sakura,” Kakashi-sensei signed. “Stop fighting Lee, and start fighting like your life depends on it. Your opponents will be bigger, more powerful, and stronger than you. You need to be smarter. Don’t play by his rules.” What rules? Did he have rules?

“I’mm sorry, Kakashi-sensei.” Sakura said, panting “I wwill do better.”

“And you Lee,” Kakashi-sensei signed. What? Him too? “It’s one thing to have a light spar with a comrade, but she’s not made of paper. You’re not doing either of you any favors holding back that much. Do it right, or don’t bother.” Ouch. Okay.

“Yes, Kakashi-sensei!” Lee understood, but he did not like it.

An hour later, Lee sprawled out on the rooftop beside Sakura, breathing hard. After their lecture, her fighting style became… frustrating. More aggressive, and elusive, utilizing clones and transformations to force him to relearn the fight range over and over.... It did not help that he loved watching her move... Perhaps getting distracted once or twice... At some point, Sakura must have combined their dances with taijutsu, eluding him like a gorgeous, untamed water nymph he wanted to capture in his arms and never let go.

Next, they fought Kakashi-sensei, two one one. Yes! A formidable opponent, a powerful Jonin with so many different fighting styles and a Sharingan! Truly it proved to be a great experience!

“There you are!” Dad! His mission was over! Kicking up, Lee tackled him, “Oof, haha, I wasn’t gone that long!”

“Guy-sensei!” Sakura jumped in, kissing his cheek, and Dad swung them around. He was the best!

“Aww, I missed you too!” He set them down and signed, “How about we go out to dinner?” Was it that late? How long were they training?

“But…” Sakura started, “Mmaybe - ”

“Don’t worry, I promise nothing's changed.” Dad signed. “Nothing wrong with a family outing, is there?” Was this the reputation thing again?

“Nno, Guy-sensei.” Sakura said.

“I have an errand to run.” Kakashi-sensei said. Aww, but he was family too.

As they headed to the restaurant district, Sakura clung to Lee’s arm and he smiled. Some things did not change. Taking his arm back, he wrapped it around her waist and followed Dad into a little vanilla building with Konoha Gardens  written in green cursive. Inside, padded booths were well lit with overhanging iron lamps, tables scattered over a brown patterned carpet. Sitting in a corner booth, Lee in the middle, they read the menu.

“Guy-sensei? Wwhat’s the occasionn?” Sakura asked. Oh right, he wanted to know too.

“No occasion!” Dad said, “I just wanted to spend time with two of my favorite little Genin. I mean, order anything!” Wait, two Genin? Why was he not signing? Sakura was the only other person here. Could she be -? “Now I’ve got an important question for each of you! What are your goals?” Oh! He knew this one!

“Pick me sensei!” Lee said, raising his hand. Dad nodded, “I want to protect those most precious to me and prove to the whole world I can be a splendid shinobi just like you!”

“Noble goals indeed! Sakura?” Dad signed.

“Goalss?” She asked, then went quiet. Did she have any long term? She fiddled with the table cloth, “Aare you looking for a specific type of answer?” Oh Sakura… She did not understand the question.

“There are no wrong answers!” Dad said. “Tell me, what are you aiming for? The object of your youthful ambition?” Perfect explanation! As always! Surely now... 

“Aaiming for…” She muttered, “No wwrong answers?” Lee shook his head. None! “It might be nice to… nnot have to burden everyone so mmuch.” Sakura... she was no burden. Why did she think that? Ms. Haruno’s words - stupid, worthless, useless... Without Dad’s encouragement, would Lee have thought that way?

“Becoming independent and self sufficient are noble goals as well!” Dad said with a thumbs up. Sakura glanced at Lee, blushing. Huh? Did he -?

“And mmaybe be a mmommy someday.” She whispered.

Ohh, his face was hot. Did Dad hear? A shadow approached their table. Kakashi-sensei! He decided to come after all! A glint of metal in his hand, and a thin object was tossed on the table in front of Sakura. A Leaf Village headband?

‘We knew you wouldn’t want to make it a big deal.’ Kakashi-sensei signed. Sakura made Genin!

“Sakura didn’t know she was taking the exam.” Dad signed with a wink, “She didn’t suspect a thing.” 

Yes! Sakura was a Genin with him! She looked stunned. Did she follow everything? To be certain, Lee put the headband in her hands. Kakashi-sensei slid into the booth beside her.

“Is…” Sakura wiped her eyes and sniffled. Aww, Lee hugged her, then hooked his pinky around hers and shook.

“Friends forever, ninjas together!” He said. She did it! He always knew she could!

Dear Lee,

I’m still doing well. Naruto is a very convincing person, I expect most people will see this. Who is Neji? Perhaps we can try. You and Sakura talk about dancing a lot. Does it really count as an exercise? I asked Temari, but she laughed. Kankurō didn’t seem to understand the question. They like that we’re writing these letters. They think it’s good for me. Sweets are not my favorite thing usually, but I will try them. You are welcome to visit if you wish, I will show you around my village as much as you’d like.

~Gaara


	32. Sakura: Cinders at Sundown

Dear Gaara,

Sorry it took so long to write again. I’m glad you are doing well. I’m sure people will come around! Lee and I dance a lot, it’s fun. Do you like to dance? 

Thank you for being friends with me. I don’t go out much, so it’s hard to meet new people, though I think that has to be different now.

I want to know everything about you! What do you like to do? What do you like to eat? Do you have siblings? Do you have a favorite book? What’s your favorite weather? Favorite color? Do you like animals? Do you have any pets? You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to. Sorry if that was too many questions. 

I’m writing from Kakashi-sensei’s apartment now, so the address is different. Mom made me leave, so he said I could live with him. He is so nice, letting me stay. Lee is the best! I’m sure you guys are great friends.

~Sakura

Kakashi-sensei would be awake soon. Sakura set his mug on the counter beside the stove, then retreated to the dog’s room. Every day she watched him drink his tea, reading his subtle reactions to the taste. Eventually she got it right: no sugar, no cream, herbal only. The opposite of how he liked his coffee. Mom liked lots of cream and sugar, but didn’t like coffee, so Sakura didn’t know how to brew it. There wasn’t a coffee pot in the kitchen, but he drank it at Guy-sensei’s. Strange...

Should she cook for him? Growing up, she would make him lunches occasionally, but he never said if he liked anything... Either way, she didn’t want to mess with his kitchen or his things too much. What if she made a mess and he found it before she cleaned up? What if she didn’t put his things back in their proper place? The little dog followed her back to the room. He must not trust her, watching her every move... she’ll call him Little.

Dog ears perked up, eyes watching as she sat in her corner. Two plopped across her lap, Bandage and Shades. Hopefully they didn’t mind her, an intruder in their territory. She tried not to take up too much space. Should she be in the closet? Kakashi-sensei’s shadow passed through the hall. In about ten minutes, he would be gone. His routine seemed important and she didn’t want to disrupt it.

She changed into her sweater dress and leggings, one of four outfits… well three now, without Lee’s pajamas. A spaghetti tank top, jean shorts, capri leggings, and another dress. Maybe she had more at Guy-sensei’s house, but… none of it was really hers. Maybe she should return it all to Mom. Oh, how was she going to do this? Should she look for a job? Little appeared and sat at her feet.

“Hello, is Kakashi-sensei gone? Can I pet you?” She asked, holding her hand out. He touched his head to her fingertips. “Thank you, doggy. You’re very soft. I’m sorry if I’m not petting you right, I’ve never pet animals before.”

Pawing open her purse, he crawled in, dug out papers, then popped out with her headband, setting it on her lap. Picking it up, she traced the Leaf Village symbol with her thumb, etched into the metal. It was crazy she was allowed to have one. Did she deserve it? Lee, Kakashi-sensei and Guy-sensei seemed to think so, but... she was a burden to the village, to those around her. How could she?

Returning it, Sakura pulled her hair into a bun and went into the kitchen. No dishes in the sink, he must’ve washed his mug. She swept the floor, collecting a pile of dog hair, and dumped it. Most of the deep cleaning was finished, but there was always something. With her countertop rag, she spot-cleaned the tile floor, using a small amount of cleaner. It might annoy doggy noses. Little sat in the doorway on the carpet and watched. She was drawing a crowd.

“Hello again, I hope it’s okay, I’m just cleaning. I promise I do a good job, it’s what I do best. Mom said…” She burst into tears and leaned against the cabinet. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t good enough anymore, I’ll do better.” Mom wasn’t there, it was too early for her to be awake. “I am sorry, it wasn’t her fault.” Stop talking to the dogs, they don’t care, they don’t want to hear this. They probably couldn’t understand anyway.

Wiping her face, she finished the floor. Kakashi-sensei was so kind to let her stay, it was the least she could do. How would she ever make this up to him? This was all she knew how to do. Was this what Mom meant for her? To live like a mouse in someone’s home, picking up after them, hiding... What about when Kakashi-sensei was done with her, like Mom was? 

Sakura checked the bathroom, wiping down the mirror, the sink, the tub, around the toilet, the floor... Why was she crying? Stupid. Little hovered with the crew. Was this normal behavior for dogs? They made weird grunting sounds sometimes. Were they angry?

“I’m sorry, I promise I am not doing anything bad.” Sakura said, “Do you want me to leave? I will, if you want, everything just happened so fast.” He shook his head, she resumed scrubbing. “Kakashi-sensei is very clean, but he doesn’t dust often, does he? Lee and Guy-sensei don’t either. They’re so busy, they forget, but it’s okay, I can do it. They shouldn’t have to... I hope Mom is okay, she doesn’t have time...” Covering her face, she chased away another sob. Stop it! Think about something else!

“Is it okay if I talk? I can stop, I can be quiet for a long time.” Sakura said. A few nodded. Weird... She really needed to read about dogs, “Lee is so sweet, he says I talk well, but he’s used to it... Have you met him? I hope so, he’s amazing! He is such a sweetheart and has the best hugs, he’s so cuddly...” Wrapping her arms around herself, she closed her eyes, she could almost feel his embrace, his warmth...

“He’s got this adorable little crinkle on his top lip, and when he smiles it’s the most beautiful thing, you can’t help but smile back... such big expressive eyes,” She leaned against the tub, “His hair is so soft… he likes when I run my hands through it… His hands are warm... strong and rough, from working so hard... I’m a little… obsessed… He’s so gentle, he makes me feel…cherished...” She rubbed her arms and sighed. It wasn’t the same.

Across the hall, she peeked into Kakashi-sensei’s room. Bed made, but his hamper was full. It was by the door but... she stretched out, careful not to enter, and slid it out, then carried it to the living room. The dogs wouldn’t care how handsome Lee was, but she loved talking about him. What could it hurt? Dumping the clothes, she sorted the colors, dogs hovering, like waiting for storytime.

“Sometimes… he gives me this look and I know, without a word… He’ll take my hand, or put his arms around me… I swear he gives me premature ventricular contractions… Was that right? Ven-tri-cular...” She shrugged and tossed navy pants into a pile, “When he talks about his dreams, the whole world lights up, you can tell he could run a marathon. He doesn’t sit still very long if he can help it. He’s like the sun... no matter what, he pushes towards tomorrow. He has such a big heart … beautiful inside and out, determined…” Sakura tucked bandages into a laundry bag.

“I’m so lucky… he could do so much better. If he wants me still, maybe one day he would want to live together, or... or maybe even… Have a family, if he wants to, but maybe he doesn’t, maybe not with me…” Tears bubbled, she buried her face in Kakashi-sensei’s dirty vest. Bleh, sweaty! Ick! That was stupid, she tossed it into the darks, coughing.

Hmm, his masks should be hand washed, she set those aside. Picking up the basket, she headed downstairs to the laundry room, in the basement, then hesitated at the entrance, a heavy, steel door with a deadbolt. Laundry: Tenants Only. If it closed and locked behind her... Pushing it open, she backed away and let it click shut. It was too heavy to prop open. Sakura set down the basket.

‘Shadow clone jutsu.’ She signed, and Belle appeared.

‘Wait here, I got this.’ Belle took the basket and headed in, Sakura curled up on the floor.

Useless, idiot... summoning Belle to do laundry, couldn’t even go inside. Kakashi-sensei probably thought… no, he didn’t. It didn’t make sense, he kept teaching her, bringing her books, but Mom said she was stupid, that’s why she stopped sending her to school. There was no point. Didn’t Kakashi-sensei realize it yet? How could someone as smart as him not know? Belle tapped her shoulders and Sakura followed her back upstairs.

Taking the broom, Belle went out on the balcony, Sakura scooped up the pile of soft, stretchy masks and brought them to the tub. With this fabric, she’d have to be careful, probably cold water only. It was similar to the jumpsuits. Leaning over the tub, she kneaded soap in with her fingers, working out the accumulated sweat, and rinsed. These had to lay flat or they’d stretch out over time. Maybe the table? No, he might not like that. Instead, she draped them around the tub. The living room floor should be fine, but she should vacuum first... may as well do the whole apartment while he was gone, otherwise she’d have to do it tonight. Swiping through the living room first, then the dogs room... she hesitated at his bedroom door.

“What should I do?” She asked Little, sitting. “He might be angry if I neglect his room. I don’t know what to do, Mom would... hit me... she… liked a clean room, but if she wasn’t home... ” Stop crying! “Kakashi-sensei wouldn’t… but it would be okay if he did, I deserve it, I deserved it, it’s my fault, it’s all my fault…” She buried her face on the rug and sobbed.

“I’m so stupid, just ask him... Kakashi-sensei won’t hit me or lock me away for asking, he won’t, but if he did it’s okay, he’d be right.... stop talking… he said it was okay to talk if I wanted to, but Mommy doesn’t like it, it’s embarrassing. Maybe that’s why...”

When she sat up, she was surrounded by dogs, and laughed, half choking. They were so curious. Okay, she would vacuum his room, then apologize. If he didn’t punish her, she could punish herself. That would make it okay, right? Belle appeared, helped her up, then leaned against the doorframe.

Turning on the machine, Sakura entered. His room felt like him, both relaxed and tense, chilly and forceful, an invisible, firm presence. How stupid, she was shaking... she stared at the floor, just swipe through the main area and be done. Easy... Red and white caught her eye. What’s -? An Anbu mask stared, slits for eyes, outlined in ruby paint. Dropping the vacuum, she bolted, crouching in the hall, and covered her mouth, heart pounding. Did she scream? Hopefully not.

‘Seriously? Idiot.’ Belle signed, then retrieved the vacuum, shut it off and put it away. Deep breaths… Sakura peeked around the doorway, the mask was sitting on his dresser, propped up, facing the room. She retreated and shivered. Maybe don’t clean his room. Returning, Belle shook her head, then poofed. AH! She saw Kakashi-sensei earlier!

‘He’s here and you didn’t say?’ Sakura signed. Of course, there was no answer.

How much did he hear? What did she say? Bandage, with a few others, sat nearby, but Little was gone. Hiding her face in her knees, she hugged herself. Oh, what did it matter? It’s not like she had secrets from him. A hand tapped her arm - her heart jumped, Kakashi-sensei was standing over her.

‘It’s lunch time.’ He signed, then left. She nodded, but didn’t he eat out? Maybe he didn’t hear anything... Oh, he was back, ‘That means you too.’ Her too what? Was she supposed to follow?

She waited outside the kitchen door as he went in. Was she supposed to make tea? Maybe she was supposed to make his lunch. Oh no, she didn’t even think to! Was he annoyed? Angry? He would’ve told her, right? Left a note? But there weren’t any, she looked everywhere and not one sticky note. Did he even own a pen? Carrying a tray, he stepped around the corner to his small dining area. Should she go too? Reappearing, he beckoned.

‘Come.’ Kakashi-sensei signed. Oh, but... okay.

Sitting at the table, a plain ceramic bowl was set before her. Wait, she forgot to cook, so she didn’t get meals today. No, Kakashi-sensei was not Mom. Why was this so hard? What was wrong with her? Tears pooled, she wiped them away. Oh no, no, no stop! Stop! Why? Crybaby! Stupid… she missed Mom, but she also… didn’t. Why didn’t Mommy want her anymore? Even though she messed up, she was punished, why wasn’t it enough? No, Sakura was a bad kid, no longer useful enough to tolerate. But the accusations... maybe it was a miracle they weren’t true. How did they put up with her? The scent of rice wafted from the bowl, she wasn’t hungry.

‘Eat your lunch.’ Kakashi-sensei signed. That seemed like an order.

‘Yes, sensei.” Better at least try.

‘You’re right, I won’t hit you, or lock you anywhere. But if I did, I would be wrong. It’s not okay.’ She nodded, face burning, wanting to hide, ‘Sakura, did your mother tell you not to eat?’ 

Dropping the chopsticks, she covered her mouth to stop apologies and excuses from flying out, and shook her head. If she spoke, he would know.

‘She didn’t?’ He asked. ‘Never?’ Which of Mom’s punishments did he disagree with? This wasn’t so bad, right?

“...Punishments included skipping meals sometimes…” Sakura said. Bad kids didn’t earn meals, feeding her was expensive.

‘Please eat your lunch.’ Kakashi-sensei signed. ‘You’re not a maid here, you know.’ Oh my… she flushed. Weren’t they talking about eating? How did that come up?

“Kakashi-sensei... Lee and I are not married.” She said. He would know if they were. “I am not sure if he... wants that.”

‘What?’ He said. What, what? ‘Sakura, a maid is also a housekeeper.’ Oh, chores? Don’t do chores? Was this about his room?

“I’m sorry,” She said, “I will stay out of your room.” This was so odd, was she misunderstanding him?

‘That’s not... You’re my student. Your job is to study, learn, and train. That’s what I would like you to focus on.’ Kakashi-sensei signed. ‘Chores are fine, but this is too much.’

What was? The cleaning? Maybe she shouldn’t tell him she needed to do Lee’s chores still... Was her studying not good enough anymore? Cleaning was faster here, so couldn’t she do both? She did before, and it was fine. Well, not by herself. Maybe if he knew, it would be allowed?

“Belle helps me.” She blurted. Oh no, she hadn’t meant to use her name! “I mean, she ... we… I…” Shut up Sakura. Just shut up.

‘Belle? So that’s her name. How… fitting.’ Kakashi-sensei signed. Of course he knew, why hide anything? He’s a genius with a Sharingan. ‘We’ll figure that out later. Right now, we need to talk.’ Talk? Was he done with her too? ‘No, stop that. Do your positivity training. Yes, right now. Please.’

“Yes, sensei.” She said. Okay, she memorized it, now say it. “I am…” Her throat seized. Oh no... Why is it so hard? Say the words! Just... He said she had to mean it, it’s hard because… Deep breath... Okay. “I am not stupid.” She wiped away tears, such a baby... No, it’s okay, Lee does it, and Guy-sensei, “I am worth teaching, and I am loved. It is okay to speak if I want to.” There, done.

‘Good, that wasn’t so hard, was it?’ Kakashi-sensei signed.

Yes it was... Checking her bowl, she managed half, he brought them to the kitchen. When he returned, his air had shifted, lighter, as he sat. Maybe lunch made him happier. Lee was always happier after food.

‘Now, there’s no easy way to put this, you’re stuck with me. If you want.’ He signed, then placed a stack of papers on the table. Her stuck with him? Wasn’t it the other way around? 

“What do you mean?”

‘I signed these this morning, all you need you to do is sign next to my name, and I will try to be you legal guardian.’ What? Try to-? Did he really want that? Shoulders slack, casual lean in his chair, normal droopy, blasé expression ... He could’ve said the weather was nice… No, wait -

‘Release!’

Sakura bolted, not sticking around to see the effect vanish. The balcony was the easiest exit, she pulled the door, climbed onto the rail, and leapt. Hands caught her around her waist, she went limp and pitched forward, metal digging into her stomach. The shift sent them further over, the person tugged. Let go! Her feet brushed rough, squishy cloth, but before she could kick, the hands dropped open then snatched her ankles and yanked. Icy cold hands. An upside down lazy eye, nothing out of place...

“Kakashi-sensei, there’s a man in your dining room!”

“I told you to go with transformation.”

“I did.”

The man stood behind him: Leaf uniform, short fluffy brown hair, almond-shaped black eyes, and an armor piece framing his light, stoic face. Swinging her over the rail, Kakashi-sensei carried her into the living room and plopped her onto the couch. So glad she wore pants today.

‘This is Captain Y-A-M-A-T-O.’ Kakashi-sensei signed. Yam - Yahm - Nope. ‘They wanted to ensure I wasn’t coercing you.’ Who?

“What tipped you off?” Captain Yamato asked. “I practiced all week.” Sakura shrugged and hid behind Kakashi-sensei, stealing his hand. She wouldn’t humiliate her teacher by speaking. “Jeez, you guysweren’t kidding. You call this a little shy?”

“We’re workingon it.” Kakashi-sensei said as Captain Yamato walked around to face her, Sakura wanted to hide.

“Paper are true.” He signed slower, “No one will force you.” He held out papers, a pen attached. Oh... she didn’t want to talk, or let go of Kakashi-sensei... 

“What… but... ” Right, stuttering and slurring was much better... What about Mom? She didn’t want her anymore... but Kakashi-sensei … did? Why? What if he got sick of her? Captain Tenzō set the papers down.

“Kakashi cannot say many. I will do my good to explain. He wants to… challenge you mom for custody of you, but you need you to give him permission. Paper is permission.”

What? Challenge Mom? On purpose? But, she wasn’t worth... was it... necessary? Even if it was... Kakashi-sensei didn’t even like her, training her was a chore. Wasn’t it? When she was little, she pretended he was a big brother, loving him like one. He would disappear for weeks sometimes, and she assumed he got sick of her. She studied and practiced anyway, then he would show up out of the blue with more books, tests, drills, signs... Much of her and Lee’s crude letters and sloppy words were changed or gone, Kakashi-sensei practically invented the language by himself. 

Why did he do any of it? She wanted to ask, but it wasn’t her place to question him... Was there something they weren’t saying? Did Mom want her again? Did Sakura want to go? She… didn’t know, but Kakashi-sensei didn’t want her to. Keeping her… it was so much. So much, no way he just thought of it. To consider such a thing… he must like her a little...

Signing the paper against his back, her hands shook. Hopefully she wasn’t making more trouble for him. If she were at home... she’d be cleaning or preparing dinner. Mom would come home and ignore her, unless Sakura did or said something wrong, then she’d be punished, for her own good. Kakashi-sensei didn’t think it was good, neither did Guy-sensei or Lee, and she trusted them, never had to hide from them… If it was okay… she wanted to stay.

‘Sakura, Captain Yamato needs to ask you some questions about yourself. Be honest with him.’ Kakashi-sensei said. ‘Once he starts, I can’t say anything, but I’ll be here.’ Now she was nervous. What sort of questions? Taking her hand, he led her to the couch, and Captain Yamato pulled a kitchen chair over to sit across from them with a notepad. 

“Ready?” He asked. No, definitely not, but she nodded. Was Guy-sensei busy? Probably, but maybe he could come too? Or they could wait for him? Sakura searched the room, as if he would appear.

Can you tell me what happened when you got home from camping? 

Home ... flashes of Mom’s glare, stacks of books and bottles, pain… Sakura touched her cheek. Was her bruise still visible? Answer his question. What happened? At some point, she latched onto Kakashi-sensei’s whole arm, hugging it, frozen. Books flying... Answer his question. Hands, move, sign… something! But they were too heavy, shackled to her teacher, refusing to budge. Mom hitting her, angry... Answer his question. Her throat went dry, she couldn’t open her mouth, it became a cage, her teeth were bars, locking away her voice. Answer his question! But… What if Mom heard? What if she was nearby? She might - ! Guy-sensei knew what happened. Why didn’t he ask him instead? … Maybe he did, maybe he thought he was lying. If she didn’t answer -.

“Guy-sensei…” Sakura said. Her jaw was so tight it hurt, the rest of her words died.

Would you like Guy-sensei to join us? Captain Yamato wrote under the question and she nodded before she could stop herself. Was it selfish? What if he was busy or didn’t want to come or -?

“You may as well come in.” Captain Yamato said, to the front door? Why-? It swung open and Guy-sensei stepped in. He was here! Was he listening? He opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off. “Don’t say anything.” 

As soon as he sat on her other side, Sakura stole his hand too. Sitting between Kakashi-sensei and Guy-sensei liberated her teeth, but the words wouldn’t come. What if Mom was here? If she heard - The paper was held up again.

How about you tell me about your mom? What did he want to know?

“Mom… has to have tea before work every day.” Sakura said. “Not too hot. And cream and sugar, lots of it, or …” Angry, hot tea splattering on her skin as the ceramic shatters. Stupid, not sweet enough. “She likes quiet. I’m not very good at quiet, or making tea, or... anything.” Hands on her throat, on her mouth, squeezing, shaking. No more talking. Maybe she should stop, probably sounded awful... 

“Sorry... Mom has to have quiet because she works very hard and... doesn’t have time to...” Sakura’s face in the carpet, didn’t vacuum, there was a dish in the sink, because... wrist throbbing, hard strikes across her back. Shouldn’t have studied so late. “...Or cook. No time to cook… I’m not good at it… it’s... garbage,” Plates dumped in the trash, Lee would be upset to see the waste, inedible. No meals...

“She worries about me, because I can’t hear well…” Dragged by her hair, pain... ripping the roots, thrown down the stairs, door shut, blackness. “It’s dark... she closed the door. I’m sorry, I won’t leave again!” Sakura was crying, stupid, “I’m sorry, she… doesn’t like crying.” Covering her face, she spoke through her fingers, don’t look. “Or talking. It’s embarrassing… Sorry, Mommy... she... hurts me because… I’m a bad kid… I leave the water on, it’s too expensive…” Water... drowning! A hand on her head, forcing her under, air... couldn’t breathe! Suffocating, cold, lungs burning... No, it was a memory, not ... Did she want to kill her? “I should just… go away… I’m sorry...” Maybe she should have...

Maybe Sakura should disappear, then everyone would be happier. Stop… existing... The hands on her arms were gone. No, she couldn’t feel them anymore, her skin was numb. Everyone was so far away, getting farther, or was it her? It didn’t matter... Weight lifted from the couch, Sakura fell over, but couldn’t feel the warmth against her cheek. A vague sensation of being lifted, being held, but she couldn’t move. Lights dimmed, her eyes no longer registered her surroundings, blobs of washed out objects. In the emptiness, Sakura floated, no sensations, no thoughts ... even her body was… gone… ...

A tug … what was that? Another tug... like something was… dragging her into a dream. Why? Wasn’t this better? No. No? No. But... No. Come back. But... why? Mom hated her, Guy-sensei and Lee wouldn’t have to worry, Kakashi-sensei wouldn’t have to deal with her, released from their burden of caring. No. No? No. But… it’s so much, even to talk to her… So? So? So what? What? 

The tug became rough, and ground appeared, she kneeled in cold, wet grass, sun beating down overhead in a clear blue sky. How? Not sure. Leaves swirled, kicked up by a strong wind, she shivered. It’s cold. Yeah, sorry. Come back, it’s warmer. But… They’re sad. No way Mom is sad… but ... maybe … The next tug brought a stabbing pain, like a migraine, she doubled over. Ouch…

“Well, come back already.” Kakashi-sensei said, materializing in front of her, intangible, flickering, like a ghost, an eye of smoke, the other of fire. “You’re not making this easy on me, you know.” Oh… sorry. Daffodils sprang up around them and bloomed. 

“Nevermind that, come back with me.” Does it hurt? “Does what hurt?” Was it burning? Sakura stood on shaky, unfeeling legs, and stumbled toward him. The…eye. “My Sharingan? No, it doesn’t hurt.” But it does a little? It feels hurt. For some reason, her face was wet, oh she was crying. “... I’m here to bring you back.”

“I’m sorry.” She said, sobbing. Even her voice was distant, like an old echo. Touching his gloved hand, all she felt was cold, it became more solid. “I’mm sorry it hurts. Wwe can go back, I’m sorry.” Was she hurting him? She’d never forgive herself if she had.

“Hold on,” He said, squeezing her hand, softer than Guy-sensei’s or Lee’s, then sighed, a deep, exasperated sound. “I guess it’s only fair to tell you. It hurts sometimes, not all the time, and not as much as it used to. Not physically... it reminds me of the friends I’ve lost. Sometimes that’s painful.” All she could do was hug him.

Lights... someone was touching her, holding her. Two people… three…? Feeling filtered through her skin a little at a time, gentle pressure turned to softness, then warmth. Hair tickled her cheeks. Opening her eyes, fuzzy colors, green and blue, shifted to solid lines, a prick in her wrist, an uncomfortable, small pain. Lee and Guy-sensei were on either side of her, enveloping her in strong arms, Kakashi-sensei had her hands, sitting in front. They were piled on a small bed with white sheets. Hospital?

‘It’s been three days.’ Kakashi-sensei said. ‘You really gave us a scare.’

Dear Sakura,

I don’t know if I like to dance. Lee insists I try it when I visit next. I’m not against this. Why does it have to be different now? 

I spend most of my time on missions. I don’t know what I like to do, but I’m starting to grow my own cactus. I like beef tongue. I have two siblings, Temari and Kankurō, Lee met them. I don’t have a favorite book. Our weather doesn’t change much. I don’t have a favorite color. I have no pets. I don’t mind animals. There aren’t too many questions, but I don’t have all the answers. Why did your mom make you leave? I don’t know if we’re great friends.

~Gaara


	33. Lee: Refreshing a Vow

Dear Gaara,

Neji is my teammate! Yes, dancing absolutely counts! You can work up quite the sweat! Perhaps your siblings do not know how either? I got it! When you come next, we can have a dance party, and they can join us! Or a sleepover! Or both! Would you like to see my dōjō? Perhaps we can spar there! Or you can issue an official challenge! I am glad they approve of letter writing, it is indeed a youthful way to communicate! Yes, some sweets are too sweet. You do not have to try them if you do not want to. I look forward to exploring your village with you! When is a good day to come? I will ask Dad as well!

~Lee

Taking deep, steady breaths, Lee ran through the village, dodging people, carts, and booths. It was late for his morning run, having changed his route. He glanced at the balcony as he passed Kakashi-sensei’s apartment building, but no one stepped out. In the hospital he did everything he could to wake Sakura, but she did not respond to his touch. What happened? The interview happened. Was she hurt more than they realized? His fists tightened, but he forced them to relax. What did Ms. Haruno do to her? How many times did Sakura cry alone? Why didn’t she tell anyone? Why didn’t she tell him?

In… out… Tepid air filtered through his lungs, he ran faster. Twenty more laps to go. If he could not finish, then he would do one thousand push ups! Passing by shops and venders, a flash of bright pink caught his eye from behind glass and he skidded to a stop. Sakura? Oh, a dress? It stood on a mannequin in the window, a bright sundress and matching bow neatly tied around the neck. Sakura wore one like it, right? Perhaps he would bring her here, she needed clothes. What was the store? Closet Treasures Resale Shop.

A bell dinged as he stepped inside, Lee walked over to the dress and touched the skirt. What was he looking for? What was he doing? This was silly, he should come back later with Sakura. Turning away, he bumped into a circular rack, knocking hangers and outfits to the floor. Whoops! Gathering them, he… this is... a bright yellow sundress with daisies, another green with white polka dots, a peach skirt... What were the odds? Pulling the tags, he checked the sizes. All the same... Could they be Sakura’s? Perhaps he was wrong, after all she was on his mind most of the time. Carrying the clothes, he went to the back of the store, finding an older woman behind a jewellery counter.

“Excuse me Ma'am, could you please tell me where these came from?” Lee asked.

“Those were brought in a few days ago, in pretty great shape, right? The woman... she said they were her daughter’s, could hardly bare to part with them. Very sad, I was sure to give her a good price.” She said, shaking her head. “Her daughter was disabled and a homebody, poor dear. Ah, sorry, I hope it doesn’t put you off, she wasn’t wearing any of these when she passed.” Passed? Disabled? Perhaps it was someone else, but homebody?

“No, but um… could you tell me what she looked like?” He had to be sure. “It is possible I knew her.”

“Oh really? Well, the woman was attractive, blonde, maybe taller than average… I don’t recall much else, not a memorable face.” She said. It could be, but many people fit that description.

“I see… thank you anyway.” It could have been anyone.

“She did show me a picture of her little girl, if that would help. Most unusual hair color on that one. Pink, if you can believe it, like our beloved cherry blossoms. Poor dear, must’ve been a special child, mother was so heartbroken to sell her things.” It had to be! Heartbroken? “I hope that helps.”

“Pink… yes… that is something...” Lee said, dazed. While Sakura lay in the hospital… Ms. Haruno... How could she tell such a fantastic lie? Did she care at all? Who was this woman who used to watch him as a child?

Should he bring Sakura here to repurchase her clothes? Should he mention her mother told people she died? Both seemed so depressing... but now that he knew, how could he keep it from her? Heading back to the rack, he replaced the dresses and browsed. If Sakura were here, would she want them? Bringing her to see her things on display with little price tags... Not the best plan. 

Perhaps a few... he selected three she wore most often then wandered about the store. Okay! Using these sizes, he could pick out something different! Ms. Haruno always made her wear dresses, did she even like them? How would she know? Poking through more racks, he ended up with four more outfits. Right! Gathering his selections, he made his purchases and left. Tucking the bag under his arm, Lee resumed running, then paused again in front of Yamanaka Flowers.  Hmm... Stepping inside, the bell rang and Ino appeared.

“Hey Lee, you here for your girlfriend?” She asked, a knowing smile.

“Yes!” He said. “She could use cheering up, her favorites are pink roses and dandelions. Do you have those?”

“Dandelions? Are you sure about that? We definitely have the roses.” She said. 

“I am certain.” Lee said. The lotus came to mind, but perhaps next time. “Do you have any?” 

“No, but feel free to collect them from out front. They’re not exactly rare. How many roses do you want?” Huh? What was a good number? Did it matter? Should he get lots? She sighed, “Nevermind, you said she needs cheering up? I’d go with a simple I love you.” Wrapping three stems in long paper, she added a bow and passed them over.

“Perfect, thank you! So, uh…”

“If you insist on adding dandelions, three is fine. Actually, if you promise to pull a bunch from the trays out front, those roses are on the house. Those things are pests. Deal?”

“Really? Thank you Ino!” Lee said. Dandelions were pests?

After collecting them, he tucked them into the paper. Yellow residue dusted his bandages, but no matter! It was worth it! Okay! New mission: Make Sakura Smile! Picking up his run, Lee headed straight for Kakashi-sensei’s apartment. He did not complete his challenge, so push ups were in order, but certainly flowers were meant to be delivered as fast as possible!

Upon arrival, he leapt up to the balcony and knocked on the glass. Inside, Sakura lay on her stomach over a large open text, wearing a long-sleeve navy shirt like a dress, sleeves rolled up, Bisuke on her back reading over her shoulder. Knocking again, Lee couldn’t stop heat from flooding his face. Blush hair waterfalling down her shoulders, long bare legs... was she wearing pants? Bisuke pawed at her until she glanced his way, he waved. Oh, oops, the flowers were in that hand! Well... now his face was definitely a tomato.

“Lee!” Sakura abandoned her book, pulled him inside and wrapped around him, nuzzling his neck. Oh so nice and soft, she smelled so good, like rain, he sighed. Why did his hands have to be full? Wait, was he stinky? Running all morning... “I mmissed you.” Was Kakashi-sensei here? Perhaps he should step back.

“I brought you something.” Lee said, handing her the flowers.

“Oh thank yyou!” Sakura said, then kissed him full on the mouth, and his brain stuttered. Flowers... good… yes... she smiled against his lips. “They’re perrfect, Leee. Onne second.” Then ran into the kitchen.

She said they were perfect! Yes! Did Kakashi-sensei own a vase? Or would she use a glass? He followed, entering in time to watch her peel the flower heads into separate saucepans on the stove. Huh? Wait! He tapped her shoulder.

“Sakura? Why are you boiling your flowers?” He signed.

“Wwhat do you mmean?” She asked, biting her lip, “Did I mmess it up? I’mm sorry, I’ll-” She reached to turn off the burners, but Lee caught her hand and shook his head.

“No, it is okay, but I would like to know.” He said. Despite his reassurance, she bowed her head.

“To know?” He nodded. Yes! “R-rose water has anti-inflammmatory properties, and with all the dandelions… tea… it's healthy… for digestion and... Did I ruin yyour gift?”

“You made it even better!” He signed, grinning, “I should have known my beautiful and brilliant Sakura would choose flowers for such reasons.” Yes! She smiled! Mission success! And a blush, bonus! Hopefully her other gift does not take them away. “This bag is yours too.”

Popping onto the counter, her shirt slid up, revealing flamingo denim shorts. Those were... He reached down and brushed her ankle, trailing upward. So soft... was it okay? Hands were on his biceps, Sakura... smooth, silky skin... beautiful… Goosebumps rose under his fingertips, he leaned down and kissed below the fabric of her jeans. How was she real? Delicate fingers laced through his hair and plush lips kissed the back of his neck, tingles down his spine, the movement rustled plastic at her side. 

Right, but... he missed her so much… he straightened, hugged her waist, gathering her as close as he could. She wrapped around him, leaning on him. Somehow he could never get enough of her, running his hands around her back, down her sides, drowning in her presence, her scent. Despite her strength, she seemed so fragile in his arms, he could hold her forever, always… This last time, when he could not... bring her back... It was a cold terror, like being doused with ice water. No matter how badly he wanted to, Lee could not protect her from herself, but he would try. With one last squeeze, he pulled away.

“Please tell me, what happens when you... stop moving?” He signed. “Three days… it has never been so long.”

“I... I am nnot sure.” She said, biting her lip, “I cannot… it is a… nnothingness, like I’mm not me anymore… just… nothing...” That sounded terrible. Why would she do that?

“Is it on purpose?” According to Kakashi-sensei, it was likely not intentional this time, but she resisted...

“Sometimes, but... not aalways.” She said, “I’mm sorry, Kakashi-ssensei said... ” She fell silent.

A flash of the genjutsu, Sakura dying in the woods… somehow this was scarier, but why? What if she did not come back? No one could wake her, not even Lady Tsunade. On day three, Kakashi-sensei decided to make his own attempt... They were lucky it worked. It was as if she had really... Before he knew it, Lee was crying.

“Sakura, please… I love you, I do not know what to do without you. This may be asking a lot, but promise me you will not do that again! I need you, please do not leave, do not become the nothingness.”

“I’mm so sorry, Lee.” She sniffled, wiping away tears of her own, “I promise, I’ll do mmy best.” Her best… how could he ask for more?

“Thank you.” He said. A hiss drew from the stove, the flowers! He removed the lids and shut off the heat. “What should I do with these?”

“Ssorry, I cann-” She started to hop down, but he held up his hand.

“Please, allow me. Tell me what to do while you open your gift.” He signed. Sakura was always doing things for him, always helping him, massages, lunches, laundry, chores...

“They nneed to be drained into something,” She said, pulling the bag onto her lap. “But the ta-tea goes into mmugs. If you wwant, I can -” He stopped her with a look. “Ssorry…” Why was she so skittish?

“Where is the strainer?”

“The c-cabinet behind yyou.” 

As he rummaged, he heard the crinkling of plastic, and a small gasp. The strainer was large, but it would do, and grabbed another pot. Sticking it in the sink, he used it to catch the pink water. Beside him, Sakura held the peach skirt, reading a tiny paper. Oh he forgot to remove the tags! Well... perhaps it was best she knew where he bought them, so she could go if she wanted.

“What should I do with the dandelions?”

“Oh,” Sakura removed three small mugs from the cabinet behind her. “Wwe can discard the flowers…” He drained the hot, yellow liquid into the mugs and set them beside the stove, spilling a little. “Hhow...? Somme of these… thank you for the clothes.”

“I found them in a … sale again shop.” Lee signed, then sighed. May as well tell her now. “... I believe Ms. Haruno sold your things.” He would not tell her the rest. For what purpose?

“She... Mom... r-really hates me... I’mm ssorry,” She sobbed, covering her mouth, then fled. No, Sakura! Catching her hand, Lee pulled her close, holding her as she cried, she clung to him, fingers digging into his shoulders, trembling. “I am sorry... she mmust be happier... Why do you love mme? Why? I do not understand! I’mm so sstupid, can’t even-” Pulling back, he placed a finger on her lips, he could not hear any more.

“Sakura, please stop.” Lee said, wiping her damp cheeks with his bandaged thumb, “Please.” It hurt so much, to hear her say such things. For a while, she was doing better! Gaining bits of confidence, meeting people... Was it all lost? No, she worked so hard... even if she had to start over, it would be okay. Ms. Haruno fed her so many lies, abused her... and convinced Sakura she deserved it...

“I’m ssorry.” She sniffled. What could he say?

“Please Sakura,” He signed. “Ms. Haruno… your mom, if she does not see how wonderful you are, then she is crazy. I would not lie to you, I love you.” She nodded, but...

Words were not enough, he needed to show her. He kissed her. It was not his love she doubted, but her own desirability. Arms around her waist, he pulled her closer, and deepened their kiss, caressing her tongue with his, slow and sweet, tightening his grip. How could he make her see herself through his eyes? Smart, to learn so much from books alone, helping him with his chakra, not even Dad could do that. Strong and capable, in so many ways, inside and out, kind and so, so beautiful, stunning... Slipping a hand beneath the back of her shirt, he worshiped her soft skin with his fingers, she gripped his shoulders and whimpered. Perfect in every way, how could anyone hurt her? Heat flooded his senses, he wanted badly to smother her with love, to show his devotion, his passion. Could she not see how irresistible she was? Brushing her cheek, fresh tears wet his bandages. No more tears, far too many. Did she understand? Pulling away, he locked onto her shining emerald eyes.

“You are smart and capable, Sakura. I am not the only one who sees it. Dad and Kakashi-sensei do too.” He signed. “Trust in us. Please?” She sniffled and nodded. “The other clothes, do you like them? I picked them out myself.”

“Yyes, thank you.” She said, “I love you so mmuch, thank you.”

“I love you too, Sakura.” He said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “You are beautiful.” Yes! Another blush! Gosh she was perfect...

“D-donn’t forget your tea.”

“Of course! Would you like to train with me today? I am meeting my team.” He sipped it. Not terrible, mostly tasted like sweet, flowery water.

“I’mm sor- I mean... I’m not sure when Kakashi-sensei... I should wwait for him, he said I wwould have an assignment today.”

“In that case, please allow me to braid your hair!” It was long, it may get in the way. And perhaps there were other ways he could show how he sees her...

“Yes, please.” She said, retrieving her brush from her room.

Kneeling in front of the couch, Sakura plopped in front of him, handing him a worn wooden brush. When they were very small, they used to braid each other’s hair all the time. Lee cut his short after starting at the Academy, was Sakura a little sad afterward? With gentle, nimble fingers, he brushed soft pink locks to one side and began weaving. Without pins, it would need to be tight, he gave apology kisses whenever he tugged too hard. The balcony door opened, Kakashi-sensei stepped in and paused.

“...Not what I expected to walk into.” He said.

“Good morning, Kakashi-sensei! Uh, I hope this is alright.” Was Lee allowed here? Perhaps stopping by all the time was not okay.

“It’s fine, just keep the door open, got it?” He signed.

“Yes!” What door?

“Yyes Kakashi-sensei.” Sakura said, looking up at him. Wah!

“Not yet!” Lee said, tilting her head. Almost finished!

“Ssorry.”

“Lee, are you about done? We’re - Sakura, is that my shirt?” Kakashi-sensei signed.

“… Aanything is possible...” Oh, did she not get permission? “I mmaybe forgot laundry… there’s also… pots...”

‘Good, but... You’re not going out dressed like that. Do you have anything else?’ He signed.

“Yyes!” Sakura said, “But - ” Plucking a shorter strand in the front, Lee left it loose. Perfect!

“Done!” Lee tapped her shoulder, she turned, kissed his cheek, and ran off, snatching the bag from the kitchen. Wha-? Braids good- yes!- Wait- right.

“Kakashi-sensei, I did not wish to upset Sakura, but I believe Ms. Haruno has sold her clothes and told the shop lady her daughter… died.”

“Hmm… thanks for letting me know.” He was quiet for a moment, “Lee, before you go, I want to talk to you about teaching a class on sign language. Think you’d be up for it?”  


“Me? I have never been a teacher before.” He said. A whole class?

“As of right now, you, Guy, Sakura, and me are the only ones fluent enough to teach. It wouldn’t be every day and I’m sure Sakura would be ecstatic if you agreed.”

“Then I will do my best!” Anything to make Sakura happy!

“Great, I’ll see you at the Academy tonight.” What? Tonight!? “Be there around five.”

“Right.” He said, standing. Perhaps it was to discuss the details?

“Y-you-” Sakura returned, face bright red, dressed in a short pink romper. “It's-” Yes! It was one of the outfits he picked out! Victory! With the hair and those pretty eyes, she really looked celestial!

“A lovely halo braid for my lovely Sakura angel!” He signed, grinning. Everywhere she went today, she would be quite the distraction. After all, who could ignore such divinity? “I must be going! Until next time, my love!” He kissed her hand.

By the time he reached the training grounds, Neji and Tenten were already warmed up. Dad stood across, hands on his hips, big grin on his face. It was nice to have a training day with them! With all the missions and everything in between, it largely became a solo endeavor. Today was like returning home from a long journey and receiving a warm welcome.

“Hey Lee!” Tenten said, standing close enough to brush Neji’s hand. Were they together? Perhaps today he would ask.

“Please forgive my tardiness, Guy-sensei!” He said.

“There you are! We almost sent Neji after you.” Dad said, a hint of amusement.

“What kept you? Your hair’s messed up, so I’d bet it’s Sakura related.” Tenten said, winking. He flushed, lined up and flattened his hair.

“That may be true…”

“Nevermind, let’s get started.” Neji said.

“Alright team, we’re going to work on weapons training. Tenten, you’re leading today’s session.” Dad said.

“Woo hoo!” Tenten said, unclipping her scrolls and laying them around her on the grass. “Hope you guys are ready.” Poof! Metal clanked against metal and deadly ninja tools appeared on the paper. “Free for all, let’s go!” Leaping back, she threw a flurry of kunai at him and Neji.

“You are energetic today!” Lee said, deflecting with his nunchucks.

“Tenten, don’t let up!” Dad said. “Good work!”

“You could say I’m in a good mood.” She said, grinning. Grabbing a halberd, she lunged, and Lee ducked, striking at her legs, but she jumped back. “Neji could tell you more.” Oh?

“Nice energy! Keep it up!” Dad said. “Lee, tighten your guard!” Yes! Tenten rounded on Neji, jabbing.

“I could.” Neji said, catching the bladed end. He ducked Lee’s strike, then yanked the weapon from Tenten’s grip, “Don’t think it means I’ll go easy on you.”

“Neji, use your feet! Get out of there!”

“Psh, you go too easy on me and I’ll kill you.” Tenten teased. Tossing up another scroll, she chased after it. Poof! Spinning the weighted chain, she raced Neji to clash against the halberd. No way they were leaving Lee out! Pulling his second pair of nunchucks, he flickered between them, locking both their attacks.

“Nice work!” Dad shouted.

“Wait, does this mean you two are -?” Lee asked.

“You tell him.” Tenten said, unraveling her kusari from his nunchuck.

“You just want me to say it again.” Neji said, lifting the pole, a slight smirk. “I can do better than that.” Then darted forward, tilted her head, and kissed her. Lee squealed, dropping both nunchucks.

“I knew it!” Neji and Tenten! Two of the best people ever are together! Lee wept, tears drenching his face, “Oh you guys! I am so happy for you! Does Dad know? Did you tell him? We should celebrate! When did this happen?”

“Settle down, Lee. It’s not that big a deal.” Tenten said, but pink dusted her cheeks and she couldn’t stop smiling. “Okay, it totally is! After the party, Neji actually came to me.” 

“Really?” Lee asked. Neji rushed him, swinging his fists not-so-gently, woah! “Hey! Wah! I mean -”

“Of course I did.” He said, forcing Lee back. What did he do? “As if I’d let that go so easily! I would’ve asked her to dance eventually. It’s improper for her to have asked me.” Oh!

“Wait! That was -”

“Oh don’t give me that crap!” Tenten said, swinging her weighted chain like a lasso. It wrapped around Neji and tightened, pinning his arms. Nice catch! “I’m a bit more assertive than that, and you love it.” With a yank, he spun into her arms and she dipped him. “You got jealous. Admit it.”

“I let you catch me.” He said, a touch of pink on his cheeks. Sure he did, Lee hid a smile.

“In that case, you can get yourself uncaught.” Tenten said, standing him up. “Good luck.”

“I would, but I’d rather not destroy your beloved kusari-fundo.”

“Aww, such a gentleman.” She said, unwrapping him. They were so cute! Lee could not take it!

“Alright you three, back to training.” Dad called.

“Okay, target practice sound good to you guys? I’ll supply the moving targets.” Tenten asked.

“Right!” Lee was ready!

Hours later as the sun dipped, Lee sat on the grass munching a sandwich beside his teammates. Yes! A perfect training day! Dad brought them a quick meal, then left to meet Kakashi-sensei. Though he missed Sakura’s cooking... at least right now, he enjoyed some semblance of normal. Then again, was anything ever normal? The thought made him churn... 

“Hey we should go on a double date.” Tenten said. “What do you guys think?”

“I will ask Sakura.” That could be fun.

“Sure.” Neji said.

“Really? Just like that?” Tenten asked. 

“Yes? You want to go, so we’ll go.” Neji said. Tenten smiled and laid her head on his shoulder. “Not today, it’s too late.” Late? Oh no!

“Sorry, I have to go! Let me know the details!” Lee said, gathering his weapons. Running clear across the city, he just made it. Five o’clock! “Yes! Where do I go now?”

“Inside is a good start.” Kakashi-sensei said, appearing beside him. “Come on.” Was Sakura with him? Lee was ushered inside and down the hall, into the nearly empty classroom. 

“Hello Lee, thanks for doing this.” Iruka-sensei said, wiping off the chalkboard. “Feel free to steal my desk. I’ll be attending as a student this time! Just take it slow.” Finished, he sat in the front row and took out a notepad. Hold on! What?

“Don’t worry, you’ll do fine.” Kakashi-sensei said. What did Lee agree to? “Just start with the basics and go from there. Have fun.” Pulling out his book, Kakashi-sensei spun on his heel and left! Uhh…

Gruff, older, scarred, stoney-eyed Shinobi, clad in standard and Anbu uniforms began filing in, sitting in the tiny plastic chairs, making not a sound. How long was this class? As more people entered, Lee’s palms grew sweaty, he wiped them on his sides. Was he supposed to teach all these people sign language? Where was Dad? Did he know about this?

“Hey Lee!” Ino! Yes! Someone he knew! “I didn’t know you were teaching this thing. Have you met my parents? When they mentioned taking this class, I had to tag along! Is Sakura here?”

“I have not, it is nice to meet you both.” Lee said, “Sakura? Uh, I do not believe so.” If only she were, she was a much better teacher.

“Dang, okay, well we’ll go find seats.”

“Heya Bushy-brows!” Naruto! “Sakura’s not here yet? One sec, I’ll get her. We been here all day!” She is here? Almost all of the seats were full, veteran ninja watching him expectantly as Naruto darted out. Some he recognized as proctors from the Chunin exams.

“Uh, hello!” Lee signed. Many attempted to respond by copying his movements. Oh, right! He held up his hand, “It is much like a salute, and remember to smile if possible! Facial expressions are almost as important as the sign itself.” A few nods, pens scraped against paper. This was strange.

“Hey, wait!” Naruto ran in, panting, “Don’t start without the kids.”

Sakura appeared in the doorway, surrounded by six academy students holding onto her hands. Her braid had a few more loose strands, face flush, clothes rumpled and dirty, but she was smiling, and Lee was spellbound. The kids sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the desks. Now they really had a full house.

‘Sorry.’ She signed, giving a shy wave to the class, but did not enter. With Sakura nearby, Lee relaxed.

‘It is okay.’ Lee signed back. “I guess we start with the alphabet?”

Dear Lee, 

Sorry, I don't remember him. I’m not sure, but I’ve never attended a party. Once, Temari had a birthday party, but I hardly remember it. I intend on trying the sweets.  Since we are friends, I want to ask for your advice. You seem to speak with others easily. Many Sand shinobi have refused to partner with me for missions. When they do, often they act as if I’m not there, often to the detriment of our goal. My approach has been to let my actions speak for me, to prove I am trustworthy. It has helped, but many remain unconvinced.

~Gaara


	34. Sakura: Life in Watercolors

Dear Gaara,

How are you? I think it has to be different, Kakashi-sensei won’t want me forever and mom made it clear I was unwelcome. 

Nevermind that! Cactus growing! What kind do you grow? I’ve read about some that have amazing medical applications, like the prickly pear. Do you also raise succulents? 

Beef tongue? I’ve never cooked it before. Can I try making it for you when you come next? I’ll practice it first, don’t worry! What are your siblings like? Is having a brother and sister really fun? Do you guys get along? Are they friends with Lee too? Lee has so many friends! Do you like to read? I should’ve asked that first, sorry. What is your weather like? What’s your village like?

It’s kind of a long story. Mom listed reasons, but they were not true! Is it okay to tell you? We are friends right? Please don’t tell anyone, it is awful. She thinks I was behaving inappropriately with teachers in exchange for training, but I swear it isn’t true! Sorry this is so long.

~Sakura

Standing beside Kakashi-sensei in Lady Hokage’s office, Sakura absently rubbed her re-healed wrist. Apparently she set the bones wrong at some point... From behind the large, wooden desk, dark chocolate eyes scrutinized her, Sakura resisted the urge to hide or take Kakashi-sensei’s hand.

Before they left, he made her put on her Leaf Headband, but she didn’t want to mess up Lee’s braid, so she tied it around her waist. It was so surreal, being there, wearing a headband, allowed to take missions and serve her village. Right? Not a dream? She pinched her arm. Not a dream! It was really happening! Do not cry! Do not dance, and definitely don’t tackle Kakashi-sensei in front of the Hokage. Oh that last one was so, so hard. He stepped back. Did Lady Hokage want to talk to Sakura? Better pay close attention.

“Sakura.” Lady Tsunade said, “Why do you want to be a medical ninja?”

Why? ... It must be a test. Maybe Lady Tsunade doubted her, it would make sense… a homeschooled deaf girl who struggled to hold a conversation, never left her house... She was Kakashi-sensei’s student, not of the Academy. Maybe she was right, but... Sakura’s family tried so hard to tell her Mom was wrong. Maybe it was time she started believing them. What was it Guy-sensei always said?

“It’s not always possible to do what we want to do, but it’s important to believe in something before actually doing it.” Something like that...

What should she say? How could she pass this test? Initially, it was her only option, Kakashi-sensei said she had the aptitude for it, but... she became absorbed by it. The human body was fascinating, capable of so much, yet so fragile... Then there was Lee and Guy-sensei with their self-destructive techniques, granting them enormous power, at a bitter price... Lee’s recovery was long and painful. Kakashi-sensei’s coma, back then she wanted to help him so badly... And her friends, Naruto and Gaara... As a medical nin, she’d be able to heal them, help keep them alive. Every one of them were such strong fighters. If she was going to be a Shinobi, have others rely on her, to be needed, she had to be better.

“The heart wants what it wants, or else it does not care.” Sakura signed. She met Lady Hokage’s gaze, the greatest medical ninja alive. “My heart... cares a great deal. I want to… learn everything.” 

“Really? Everything? Hmm…” Lady Tsunade smiled, a sly smirk.

“Yes.” She said. Who wouldn’t? She still had so far to go! So many books to read, so many places and things and people, to know, to see, to experience… When Kakashi-sensei brought her books, he brought her the world.

A million questions danced in her mind, threatening to spill from her lips. What caused chakra nature affinity? Why did everyone’s chakra feel different? Why didn’t opening the gates allow Lee to use ninjutsu? What were the mechanics of the Sharingan? Surely Lady Tsunade had some of these answers, she modernized the entire field at one point. Was Sakura allowed to ask? Probably not.

“Good.” Lady Tsunade said, “For your very first mission, I’m assigning you and Naruto to act as assistants to  Iruka  at the Academy  for the rest of the week. Do whatever he tells you, understand?” Sakura nodded. Hopefully? “Since you were late, Naruto’s gone on  ahead. Oh and Kakashi, congratulations on  finalizing the adoption. Dismissed.” Did she say adoption?

‘Thanks.’ Kakashi-sensei signed, taking a paper from Lady Hokage. Did he adopt Sakura? It happened? Before she could ask, he held it up. On green tinted paper, bordered with delicate flourishes of the hidden leaf symbol in gold, were two distinct signatures alongside the seal of the hokage.

This certifies that Kakashi Hatake has formally adopted Sakura Haruno into his home forever. Recognized by The Fifth Hokage Lady Tsunade. Forever? Did he mean it? Was it real?

‘Let’s get going.’ Then stuck it in his vest and left.

Dizzy, she stumbled after him out the door and down the wide hallway, passing coming and going Shinobi. It was real, he really... As soon as they were outside, Sakura threw herself into his arms and held tight, he hugged her back. He hugged her back! A real one, firm and sincere. When was the last time she cried happy tears? It was like a hurricane had passed, a storm that lasted so long it became normal, a moment of stillness in the wake of the wreckage.

Was it okay to feel this way? Shouldn’t she miss Mom more? Life was so different, it was hard to trust it, as if at any moment Mom would appear around the corner, drag her home, and break her for daring to leave. With Kakashi-sensei, she didn’t know all the rules, didn’t know what was okay, but he saw her, all of her, and adopted her anyway. Forever, it said forever! She kissed his cheek, a silent thank you, and he pulled away.

‘Okay, okay, enough of that, come on.’ He signed, then his hand darted forward, catching something near her head. Huh? A wad of paper? Was someone trying to get her attention? Looking around, people stood in small, tight clusters, staring, mouths moving. Was she being loud?

“Disgusting. Tramp. I guess it’s true. No way. Look at them. Deplorable.”

Eyes narrowed, arms crossed, pursed lips, disapproving glances... Oh no, she got careless! Especially in public, Sakura should know better than to stand anywhere near Kakashi-sensei, let alone hug him! Was he angry? What should she do? Run? Hide? But her feet were frozen, don’t cry, don’t cry! Staring at the ground, she hugged herself. Maybe the storm wasn’t over.

A cool hand slipped into hers, unraveling her self barrier, and led her away. Were they going to his apartment? Maybe she shouldn’t come out... Would he tell Lady Tsunade to forget everything and tear up the paper? If it was going to cause problems for him, maybe it was for the best. As they walked down the street, passing Shinobi scoffed or glared at them. At tap on her shoulder. Oh, they were at the Academy.

‘Never mind them, you have a mission to complete.’ Kakashi-sensei signed.

‘Yes, sensei.’ She signed, then followed him inside.

Up the steps, into an empty hall, Sakura moved closer to Kakashi-sensei. Being there was strange, familiar, yet foreign, like a lucid dream she couldn’t quite grasp. Stopping outside a classroom, a teacher waved them in with a friendly smile. Short ponytail, warm brown eyes - images flickered and she squeezed her eyes shut, but his face remained - a long scar running across his nose… Somehow, there was a sound on his lips... Oh how frustrating! She knew him, before... More images, cradled against his chest, he was running… to the hospital. He ran the whole way. Opening her eyes, she fixed onto his face.

“I’m sure you don’t remember me.” He said, signing a little.

‘I have another assignment, but today Naruto is your teammate.’ Kakashi-sensei signed. ’This is I-R-U-’ She didn’t let him finish.

“Iruka-sensei!” Her Academy teacher! Before she knew it, she was hugging him. Oh, was that weird? That was probably weird. Sakura jerked away, face burning. “Sorry! I’m sorry…” What was she thinking? Hugging people... 

‘Well, since you two are acquainted. I’ll just see you at home after school.’ Kakashi-sensei poofed, dissipating in a cloud of smoke. At home after school! She could cry. Oh right, mission. She better do a good job, or it might reflect poorly on him. Did that mean she’d have to talk? What did a teacher’s assistant do? Naruto walked in and stood beside Iruka-sensei.

“Hey Sakura.” He signed, “Are you my partner?” She nodded and he grinned. “Don’t worry, I'll help with I-R-U-K-A-sensei, his signs still suck.” Iruka-sensei looked sheepish, red tint blooming on his tan cheeks.

“Well it’s a good thing I have you then.” He said, putting an arm around Naruto’s shoulders, smiling. With that level of friendliness, comfortable and intimate, could they be family?

‘Naruto, is this your Dad?’ They didn’t look alike, maybe he was adopted? Or he took after his mom?

‘What? No way!’ Naruto signed. ‘I don’t have parents.’ She shouldn’t have said anything... maybe she shouldn’t talk at all, asking rude questions...

‘Sorry. You seemed… sorry.’ Was he angry?

'Iruka-sensei’s awesome! Buys me food sometimes. Don’t tell him I said that.’ Naruto didn’t look upset. Maybe it was okay?

‘I won’t.’ She signed. Looking between them, Iruka-sensei looked frustrated. “Sorry, Iruka-sensei.” They should probably make a sign for him. What should it be? Hmm... ‘Naruto, what do you think of this for his sign?’ 

She brought her hands up, made a smile motion, then back down, flicking her fingers. Laughing, Naruto jumped up and down, and Iruka-sensei turned redder, but smiled, a real one.

‘Iruka-sensei,’ Naruto copied. ‘It’s totally perfect! He wanted to know what it meant. I told him basically: super friendly smile teacher. He likes it.’ Woah!

“You’ve practiced a lot!” She said. He figured out what signs she combined!

“Yeah, I made like a billion shadow clones!” Naruto said. A billion! “No big deal, I’m awesome.”

“Okay you two, we have a lot to do today .” Iruka-sensei said, passing her a paper. Naruto waved his hands and translated.

‘I need you guys to test each student in that back room, I’ll send them in one by one. Sakura, I hear your chakra control is excellent. I’d like you to note which students need the most help in this area. Naruto, make sure none of the kids give her a hard time.’

“You can count on me!” Naruto said as children filtered in, shuffling to their seats.

The back room was small, probably meant for storage, but well lit with steady overhead fluorescents and contained a student desk. Boxes labeled with crayon were piled in one corner, filled with classroom supplies. A student entered, and according to the chart, his name was Daichi.

‘So Sakura, are you on Kakashi-sensei’s team? Are you here to replace S-A-S-U-K-E?’ He asked. She shook her head, then watched the boy perform a transformation and noted his chakra usage. Very good!

‘I’m not on a team, I’m sorry, I do not know who this person is.’ If it was one of Kakashi-sensei’s students, it must be Sad One or Plastic, but… Plastic’s name was Sai, right? Pretty sure? The next student was a little girl, Matsuri, less good. She made a note.

“Well, if you were, I might not mind, as long as you know it’s temporary. I’m gonna bring S-A-S-U-K-E back. As soon as P-E-R-V-Y S-A-G-E finishes his mission, he’s gonna take me to train with him.” Oh... Mibuna was next, not bad.

‘Are you leaving the village? Will you be gone long?’ She asked. Was it okay to ask? She hoped to get to know him better, now that she was allowed, but he was going away. Stupid, maybe he didn’t want to.

“Probably, he’s a traveler. No matter how long it takes, I’ll train as hard as I can to be stronger and one day I’m going to be Hokage!” Wow, he really was a lot like Lee.

‘Maybe while you’re gone, I can clean for you?’ She asked. If he didn’t have parents, then who else would? 

“You’d do that?” Another student entered: Konohamaru. Yikes, what a mouthful!

‘Unless you don’t want me to. Sorry.’ Was it something friends would do? Were they still friends?

‘No way, that’d be great.’ He smiled, “I’ll show you where I live.” 

“Hey boss!” Konohamaru said, jumping up and down. Were they friends? 

Pointing at each other with wagging fingers, they must be. In a puff of smoke, they transformed simultaneously. Way too much chakra, but Naruto’s was crazy high! How did he -? Wait, they were both… girls… nude... why? Hmm… could they mestruate like this? How correct were the changes? Huh... When she transformed into Lee, it was not anatomically or internally correct, this was more so. Even if it was, the hormones wouldn’t be there, but if someone understood the chemical differences, could they do it? Could someone change their chakra nature doing this? Or chakra signature? Naruto tapped her shoulder, back to being himself.

“You okay? You kinda zoned out. What’d you think of my S-E-X-Y jutsu? Pretty cool, huh?” Naruto asked. Maybe he would know.

“Do your insides change too?” Sakura asked. Oh, that came out weird, “I mean, do you create a uterus?” That was not better.

“A what? I don’t know?” Probably not then.

“Sorry,” She said. Stop asking weird questions! “What do we do now? He was the last student.” 

Instead of answering, Naruto stole the paper and ran into the classroom. All twenty kids turned around in their seats and stared, oh… that’s a lot of eyes... Ducking her head, she approached Iruka-sensei, then without thinking, took Naruto’s arm. He jolted, she let go, stepping back. Oh no, why did she do that! Stop touching people! How much more embarrassing could she get? Don’t cry! Stupid! Unable to look up, Sakura followed his sandals outside, a small group of students trailing after them. He stopped under a tree.

‘I’m sorry, Naruto.” She signed. ‘I didn’t mean to, please don’t be angry.’

‘It’s fine,’ He signed, “But aren’t you with Bushy Brows?” She nodded and his face scrunched up in confusion. Oh what he must think of her! Maybe she should dig a hole and stay there. “Anyway, we gott a help these guys with chakra control. Kakashi-sensei had us do tree walking.” But there was only one tree for six kids. “I guess that won’t work.”

“Leaves?” She asked. Maybe? 

“What about em?”

“It’s an old training method for medical nin I read about. You’re supposed to channel chakra into it without hurting it, and make it float a little above your palm.” 

“Great idea Sakura!” Naruto signed, then he hopped onto a branch and snapped off a bundle and passed it around. Okay maybe that wasn’t the best idea. Most kids shredded them.

“Well… maybe we need to warm up first. Guy-sensei says...” She fell silent. Was she talking too much? Maybe Naruto wanted to come up with something.

“Let’s try it! How should we warm up?” Naruto signed. He was asking her?

“There is one... First, pretend you’re a tree. Maybe a little tree, and you need lots of sunshine to grow, so you’re reaching up as high as you can…” Stretching up, she grasped at the sunlight, “But you need water too, so plant your feet and reach down, deep into the earth, through the soil ... 

“You have energy flowing inside of you, from the outside world. You take it into yourself and make it unique, make it yours. A delicate touch is sometimes more powerful than a strong one.” Peeking at Naruto, he performed the exercise. ‘I’ve never taught anyone before.’ Helping Lee didn’t count, he already knew how to do it.

‘Me either’ He signed. ‘The bell rang, and I really have to pee, so I’ll meet you inside.’ He bolted towards the building. Wait, but - !

“Can we try again?” Moegi asked.

“You want to go again?” Sakura asked, she nodded. “Yes, of course, sorry.” Oh no, some of the kids were suddenly unhappy, glaring, pouting... maybe they shouldn’t.

“I don’t wanna. Me either. But I do!” Then Tsukune shoved Konohamaru, an argument? They grappled, the others gave them space.

“Wait, please don’t fight!” Sakura said, getting between them. “Please? One more try? Then we can go inside?” For a moment, it looked like they would go at each other again, but instead turned away.

“Fine!” Whew... The second round went much better! 

“Wonderful job! M-Moegi? Sorry... You did well, and you too K...Kono… I’m so sorry.” Stop it! Stupid, why did she try to use names? Don’t cry! Uh oh, they all started talking at once, little mouths moving, hands waving, “One at a time, please. I can’t... I’m sorry I’m such a pain.” What should she do?

“Miss Sakura, it’s okay, Naruto told us.” Moegi said, taking Sakura’s hand. Before she knew it, all of the kids grabbed her hands and arms, leading her inside. Okay, training time was done then? As they entered the side door, Naruto slid to a stop.

“Hey! The class is starting, come on, Bushy Brows is there already.”

What class? Once they reached the room, the kids let go, scattering to find seats. Lee! Lee was here! Teaching? Tucking against the doorframe, she sat and watched him. Standing up there, smiling his wonderful smile... How did she get so lucky? To come here and teach sign language after training so hard all day. So amazing, gorgeous, and perfect, she could watch him all day.

Who was taking the class? Mostly adults, all Shinobi. Were they there by choice? Why was there a sign language class in the first place? Should she ask Kakashi-sensei? A woman with dark, wavy hair locked eyes with her, glaring until Sakura turned away. What did she do? After a while, people stood and started to leave. Get out of the way! Sakura scrambled into the hallway and leaned against the wall beside the door frame. The woman followed and stood over her, lips peeled into a snarl.

“Stay away from my husband, got it? I saw you eyeing him, you hussy.” She said, then stomped off, blending into the group as they exited. 

Who was that? A friend of Mom’s? ...Mom wasn’t here, right? Watching the faces, she recognized some: guards from the exam, the gate, the party... A man stopped and leaned against the wall at her side. Average height, long, messy black hair, clean shaven, maybe Kakashi-sensei’s age? 

“Hey if you need lessons, I’m your man.” He said, winking, one hand toying with her sleeve, she shivered and tucked closer to the frame. Lessons? Why? Who was he?

“No thank you.” She swallowed hard as his eyes raked down her, and hugged herself. Why did she have to wear something so light? Please go away, please go away…

“Come on Baby, I happen to know a thing or two about-” As his hand drifted to her hip, another man appeared and pushed it away. Mustache! From the exams! Letting out a breath, her knees almost gave out as the stranger walked away.

‘You okay?’ Mustache signed. She nodded, but wasn’t sure. Why did she let him touch her? Stupid. ‘I S-T-A-Y.’ Leaning on the wall beside her, he scribbled in a notebook, then let her read.

You know my daughter, Tenten?  Sakura nodded and he smiled, crinkling an old scar on his top lip. More people passed by and she moved closer. Was it okay? Sassy, isn’t she?  Should she agree? Shrugging seemed safer. She talks about you a lot, you should come over for dinner sometime.  She nodded again, he seemed pleased, then checked the classroom. Looks like that’s everyone. You take care.  Tearing out a page, he gave it to her and left.

You’re welcome over anytime for any reason.  Followed by an address. Was that strange? She slipped it into her bag, then entered the room where Lee, Naruto, and Iruka-sensei were chatting. They didn’t stay much longer, dispersing at the Academy exit. Lee insisted he walk her home. When they arrived, she dreaded the stairs. Why was she so tired? 

“Allow me.” Lee signed, then swept her up and leapt to Kakashi-sensei’s balcony. 

“Thank you.” She looped her arms around his neck as he set her down, his around her waist, and leaned on him. Was he getting taller again? Toying with his silky soft hair, she kissed his neck, skin warm beneath her lips, the faint scent of him that she loved so much. How was he so perfect? In his arms, she couldn’t help but feel at peace, at home. Up on her toes, she kissed him and her heart raced, tongues dancing, her back hit the rail, cold metal against her shoulders, but she didn’t care. Lightheaded, she clung to his solid form, kneading firm muscles. Warm, rough hands slid against the fabric of her jumper, brushing near her navel. Why couldn’t she have worn a shirt? 

“Lee…” She panted and lay her head on his shoulder. Stepping back, he tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

“I do not want to leave.” He signed, “But it is late. Until tomorrow, my love.” His love. Sakura could’ve swooned. He leapt onto the rail, waved, and was gone. She leaned over, watching a green blur race down the street, then around the corner, a silly smile on her face.

She went inside and curled up on the floor in front of the couch, exhausted. So much talking, so many people… her head buzzed. Why? It wasn’t physically hard, but she was spent. Was Kakashi-sensei home? Should she cook? Maybe she better, after what happened... Wait, Lee said it was late. Kakashi-sensei said he’d see her home after school, but she stayed for the class. What if he was angry? Would he lock the windows? Maybe if he got mad enough...

Running into the dog room, half expecting the door to shut behind her, she pulled back the curtain… the locks were missing. Just… gone. But… what? He… then how would he punish her? What would he do? Would he make her go back? No, he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t, he said... but... if he did, then she would go. Returning to the living room, she balled up on the floor, wanting to disappear, but she promised Lee... 

Something shook her shoulder, she blinked, fuzzy... Huh? 

“Guy-sensei?” Wait no... When did she get on the couch? Covered in a blanket, Shades and Socks laying across her legs. Yawning, she sat up and shivered when the cover fell. In sweatpants and a black tee, Kakashi-sensei flipped on a corner lamp.

‘I’ll turn the heat up. Come have dinner.’ He signed. ‘Did you have a nice nap?’

Was he… amused? Wait, dinner? She didn’t cook! And she was late! Plus falling asleep... if Mom caught her napping, she would... a flicker of her standing over Sakura with a fistful of hair, other hand raised…

“I’m sorry.” She said, standing. “I’m sorry, please don’t -” Stop crying, stop it! Mom’s not here! Right? She isn’t? No one else was in the room, but -.

‘I’m not going to hurt you.’ Kakashi-sensei signed. ‘Take a deep breath.’

Yes, he’s right, he’s right, of course not, but… her hair was tight, like - she touched it. The braid. Suddenly she had to get rid of it, it was too tight, too similar. Tugging at the strands, she tried to unravel it. Mom grabbing her hair, dragging her down the stairs- No, stop it! Too tight, but her hands shook, it came loose too slow. Dropping to her knees, she pulled with both hands. Get off! Please! -throwing her over the table, holding her down-. Cold hands pried hers from her head, she flinched, no, it was Kakashi-sensei. Arms wrapped around her, and she sobbed into his shirt, trying to take deep breaths. Calm down, Mom wasn’t there, she wasn’t.

“I’m sorry…” She mumbled.

So gentle she hardly felt it, Kakashi-sensei undid the braid, holding her. Each strand came loose and fell down her back, over her shoulders, touching the floor. Unweaving her locks like an expert, he took his time. When he finished, he combed through it with his fingers, tucking her bangs behind her ears as she sniffled and sat back.

“Thank you.” She said. “I don’t know what that was, I’m sorry.”

‘It’s normal to have moments.’ He signed. ‘Anyway, what do you think of a haircut?’ She laughed.

‘That might be a good idea.’ She signed, ‘Will you cut it?’ Mom used to, when she was little, to save money.

‘I imagined something more professional, but if you’re desperate, I’ve got a kunai.’ He signed, with a smile. Was he joking? Hopefully he was joking. ‘Come on, I made fish.’ She nodded and followed him into the kitchen. So he liked fish... what else did he like? Somehow they ended up sitting on the tile floor, bowls in their laps, dogs everywhere. Was he going to hang out with her? Maybe? It was nice, but if he didn’t want to it was okay.

‘Kakashi-sensei? Can you tell me their names? Please?’ Sakura asked. He nodded and pointed in turn, fingerspelling: Little was Pakkun, then Bull, Urushi, Shiba, Bisuke, Akino, Ūhei, and Guruko.

‘How did your first mission go?’ He asked.

‘I think okay. Iruka-sensei didn’t say anything was wrong.’ She signed. Should she tell him about the man? Maybe she should... hiding things never went well. “There was... a strange man…”

‘Oh? Strange how?’

‘He offered lessons…’ Puting it like that, it seemed absurd, to have been so shaken. ‘Sorry, nevermind.’ Stupid, bothering him with nothing.

‘What exactly did he say?’ Kakashi-sensei signed, setting his bowl aside.

‘I don’t… remember.’ She rubbed the spot on her arm, where his hand had been, ‘He... called me a baby…’ Though she wasn’t crying at the time.

‘Next time you see him, please tell me.’ She nodded, ‘How was everything else?’

‘I met Tenten’s dad, and Naruto was nice.’

‘Really? Hard to imagine him being co-operative on a mission like this.’ He signed, then scratched his mask, ‘Then again... partnering with a cute pink-haired girl might have something to do with it.’ She shook her head, biting back a laugh. No way Naruto thought that.

‘Naruto knows I’m with Lee.’ She signed. All Sakura did today was give him extra work.

‘What was it you said? The heart wants what the heart wants?’ Was he teasing?

‘It wasn’t me, I was quoting Emily Dickinson.’ She signed. 

‘I thought it was familiar.’ He signed. He did read other books! ‘Is the fish not good?’ Oh, right...

‘Sorry, I mean, it is.’ She took a bite. ‘Thank you. Sorry.’ Hopefully she didn’t insult his cooking. Was he going to let her cook sometimes? Maybe one day? ‘How was your mission? If it’s okay to ask.’ Maybe she shouldn’t have… Kakashi-sensei never talked about himself, maybe he didn’t want her to know. She really didn’t know much about him, ‘Sorry.’

‘It was fine, simple recon checking out a rumor in a nearby village.’ He signed. ‘Nothing interesting.’ He stood up, rinsed his dishes and put them in the dishwasher. ‘No washing dishes or cleaning tonight. When you’re finished, get some rest. Try sleeping the whole night, you might like it. Goodnight.’

‘Yes, Kakashi-sensei. Goodnight.’ Life was so different now, maybe it was okay trust it a little.

Dear Sakura,

Your sensei sounds like a kind person. I doubt you need to worry. 

I grow native cacti, I’m unfamiliar with any medical applications. Some are edible and some are poisonous. I want to learn about them. I haven't tried succulents. You are free to cook what you wish. Temari is blunt and loud. She is one of the first people in the Sand to accept me and has taken to watching over me when she thinks I can’t see her. Kankuro is prideful and spirited. He and I have grown closer too and he’s become protective of me as well. He recently scolded a superior officer for calling me a monster. It is strange and unnecessary, but I’m happy about it. He loves collecting puppets, and is always painting and tinkering with them. I like to read. The weather is hot during the day, but freezing at night, and dry. Occasionally a thunderstorm will happen, though often the rain evaporates before reaching the ground. If you want to know about my village, you will have to come see for yourself.

I won’t tell anyone, though I don’t understand what you mean by inappropriate.

~Gaara


	35. Lee: Charming the Rain

Dear Gaara,

When is your birthday? Would you want a party?

It has not always been so! While our situations are different, because I cannot perform ninjutsu or genjutsu, my teammates did not want me. They believed I was inept, incapable, a burden. It took some time before they saw me as an equal. I agree actions are loud and can prove your intentions! However, in my case, I did not hold back on my voice! Declare your will to the universe! Boldly, with passion and youth! “I dedicate myself! I will protect my allies and my village! I will become precious to others!” Something like that, perhaps?  Anyway, it could not hurt and Naruto does it as well! Dad says he will try to look for missions near your village so we can come say hello! Unfortunately he does not know when that will happen and our Hokage is unable to give time off to anyone.

~Lee

Sprawled out in his bed, Lee slept to the sound of rain sprinkling against his window. Tap, tap, tap. Groaning, he rolled over and pulled his pillow over his head. Go away... tappy... thing... tap, tap, tap. Ugh... what is that? Peeking at his clock: 10:14, he sat up and yawned. Sleepy... he blinked some of the drowsiness away, rubbing his eyes. Perhaps he should... lay back down. What was he doing again? A flicker of light through his curtain, a shadow on the rooftop, then a roar of faraway thunder.

Huh? Who would be outside? More awake, he pressed against the wall and peered through the curtain gap, but it was too dark. Was someone trying to sneak up on him? Creeping closer, he saw a figure perched on the edge of the tiles, facing away, unmoving. It was a black night, moon hidden by a veil of storm clouds. Alright, he would sneak up on them first! Sliding open his window, he crawled on the roof, droplets wetting his hair and shirt.

“I am warning you, if you intend on - Wah!” Lee did not get to finish, the figure tackled him, they fell backward onto his bed, a wet kiss on his neck. “Sakura?” It was!

A flash of lightning, a loud boom, she climbed off. Was she okay? What was she doing here? It was too dark to talk. Sitting up, Lee shut his window, then flipped on his lamp, filling the room with a warm, dim glow. Drenched, hair dripping, clothes plastered to her small frame, jeans and another of Kakashi-sensei’s shirts, Sakura shivered.

‘Everything okay?’ He asked. ‘Does Kakashi-sensei know you are here?’

“Yyes, I left a nnote. D-did I wwake you? I’mm sorry.” Sakura hugged herself, trembling. Oh, she was freezing! Rummaging through his dresser, Lee handed her a set of cotton pajamas.

‘No, I was awake.’ He signed. Well, mostly.

“Ththank you.” She said, tugging off her jeans. “Is it okay? The rain... I mmissed you.”

‘It is okay,’ Lee signed, face hot. Right, he should turn around! Slipping off his shirt, he searched for a replacement, but stopped when chilly hands curled around his chest. Nuzzling his neck, she kissed down his shoulder, lips like ice, his breath caught.

“Leee... wwas it all a dream?” She murmured, “Do you love mme? I wwas thinking of... your graduation, we were on mmy bed... What wwere you going to say?” Yes, he remembered it well. Three attempts in one day, all failed to tell her... Hiding his grin, he turned.

‘It was so long ago.’ Lee signed, ‘Perhaps if we recreate it, I will remember.’ Pulling her close, chilly, plastic buttons and soft cloth brushed his bare chest, “If I recall, someone dragged us into a storm to dance.” A red hue spread across her face, down her pretty neck, she dipped her head, a shy smile.

“Ooh? I thought wwe were caught in it.” Holding her slight waist, her hands clasped behind his neck, he led them around his room. A simple step, slow and easy.

The rain lessened to a patter on the rooftop. Not much had changed since then, every bit as enamored with her as he ever was. Spinning, she giggled, gliding under his arm. When she moved, it was like she lit a match and ignited a kind of passion in him he never knew existed. For most of his life, he sensed her wild heart, quiet, searing embers beneath the surface of those fiery emerald eyes. He was unconditionally addicted to her, to the harmony between them... Somehow, he always knew he would spend the rest of his life with her.

“Yes and no.” He said, pausing to brush hair from her face, “I was the only one caught. It was then I realized…” Shaking his head, Lee twirled her. Not yet. Stepping back, she giggled and bent down. Huh?

“Yyour pants are a little big.” She laughed, “Sorry, they keep falling.” Oh! Oh, she was...

“Y-yes.” He nodded. Did his voice squeak? Eyes up... Perhaps he should turn the heat down, his room was too warm. What were they doing? “Uh…” He coughed, right… “I believe, after we dried off, we went to your room.”

“Then, wwe did this backwards.” She said, hand on her waistband. Lee led them to sit on his bed. Flashes of the moment, her smile, cheeks flushed... 

“Sakura, I think I need to tell you something.” It was here she froze, like he was about to deliver terrible news. “It is nothing bad, I swear.” When she relaxed, he took her hand and slid closer.

How could he ever forget this moment? Lee leaned forward, it was burned into him, her breath on his lips, the loud pounding of his heart, the fear and anticipation in his veins. Would she hate him after this? Would she ever speak to him again? But it was so right, every fiber of his being urged him forward, to take the chance, to throw himself at her feet and hope she felt the same. The sweet scent of roses, glittering eyes watching him... Lee tilted her chin and kissed her like the living fantasy she was.

Was it all a dream? Sakura, how often did she dream of him? Did she wake to the shaking storm and rush here to prove it was real? Brushing her tongue with his, he was never more grounded, more alive, her hands kneaded his arms, his flesh tingled. Gripping her hips, he pulled her onto his lap and his heart raced, spiraling, elation, nerves aflame. The slight taste of mint and cherry, they had to be made for each other. Did he love her? No, no words could ever encapsulate what she meant to him. Straddling him, Sakura pulled back, breathing hard, eyes half open, close enough to touch noses. Lee traced her sides with his fingertips, down to her legs, ghosting soft, loose fabric on her hip.

“I drreamt of you.” She whispered, hot breath on his lips, kissing him again, it was impossible to pay attention to much else, “ … yyou chase away mmy nnightmares...” Another kiss, wet and sloppy, but he did not care, “I love you, and have for a long time. I wwould have said yes.”

“Yes.” He mumbled, she shivered. Still cold? Pulling his blanket around them, he teased her soft, velvety neck with his teeth. Was that okay? She did not seem to mind, hands on his chest, cool fingers on his broiling skin... Wait, did she say nightmares? He pulled away, she whined, and his brain fought to work. Later?… No, ask now, do not get distracted.

“Sakura, are you okay?” He asked. How should he ask? “I mean, did you have a bad dream? Did you want to talk about it?” Was it about her mom?

“I’mm sorry, Lee, I should let you ssleep.” Gaze flickering to her lap, biting her lip...

“Please,” He signed. It must have been. “You said I chase them away, but I cannot if you do not let me.” For a while, she was quiet, laying her head on his shoulder. Was she afraid to tell him? Did she believe he would leave? Or think less of her? Warm, damp tears splashed on his skin. 

“I mmiss her.” She said. He did not expect that. “But… I don’t know... I feel so lost…” She sat back and searched his face. What did he show? Sorrow? Concern? Anger? “I’mm sorry,” She hid her face in her hands, “Nnothing I did wwas good enough, b-but I disobeyed all the time, so it mmade sense…” Sakura... 

“Those rules were not right.” Lee said softly, though she would not hear, “You did nothing to deserve any of that.” Whatever it all was. What could he do, or say to help?

To live as if every action was a guaranteed failure, with no hope of being good enough... It was like being stuck in a hole, a constant battle to climb out as others passed by, shadows and echoes, most ignoring the neighboring struggle, but others… others jeered: stay down, do not bother, it is impossible...

For Lee, Dad leapt down, cheered him on, boosted him, and caught him when he slipped. In Sakura’s case... Ms. Haruno made escape grueling, at some point Sakura must have accepted it as her own incompetence... Was this why she retreated to the nothingness? If he was correct, then it was amazing she came this far at all.

“I’mm sorry... you’ve all helped mme so much.” She said, muffled, ”But I’mm falling apart, is it okay to be happy? Nnone of this feels real... as if I will wwake and Mommy will…” She stiffened and searched… the wall. The wall standing between his room, and her former home, as if a nightmare would ooze from the paint. Pulling his hands from her face, he wiped her tears.

“This is real, I promise.” He said, “No matter what, you are good enough, and you are loved.”

“Thank you, Lee.” She snuggled closer, “Wwould it be okay to stay wwith you?” He nodded. Always! Tap tap tap. Huh? Again? He leaned over and tugged aside his curtain, Pakkun! He let him in.

“Hey kid,” Pakkun hopped down and shook rain from his coat, then sniffed Sakura’s pile of clothes. Uhh... “Please tell me she’s dressed.”

“Of course she is!” Lee said. Most of the time, anyway. “… is everything alright?” Did Sakura have to leave?

“Yeah,” He scratched his ear, “Kakashi asked me to keep an eye on Sakura, so that’s what I’m doing. Besides, Bull ate her note.” Did she need a… dogsitter?

“Leee, are yyou talking to Pakkun?” Sakura asked as Pakkun jumped onto the bed. Oh, he had not translated anything!

“Yes, I apologize.” Lee signed, suppressing a yawn. How late was it?

“Yyou understand him?” She asked, eyes wide. “That’s ammazing! How?” Huh?

“Sakura, Pakkun can talk as well as you or I.” Did she not know? “Most of Kakashi-sensei’s ninken do.”

“Wh-what?” Her smile dropped. She did not know! “Leee,” Falling forward, she spoke into his blanket, “Cann you ask how mmuch he tells Kakashi-sensei?” Oh...

“To be honest, most of it.” Pakkun said, laying down. ...Was he staying? “It’s not like she’s talking to anyone else.” Did she talk about Ms. Haruno? Perhaps it was easier, since she believed he could not repeat it. He tapped her shoulder.

“I am sorry, Sakura, I thought you knew they could speak.” Lee said. In hindsight, it was silly to think that, “What did you tell Pakkun? Will you tell me?” If she did not want to, it was okay.

“Wwell, umm... things... like about Momm or… um, you...” Him? She was as pink as her hair. “It is embarrassing.” Now he was really curious!

“Oh yeah,” Pakkun said, “If you ever doubt how much she loves you, don’t.” Alright, he had to know.

“I promise I will not laugh. It is my own fault for not telling you.” He said.

“Ookay… I mmaybe told him… mmany things... how I hope … to be lucky enough to… have children, if you wwanted.” She wanted children with him? Oh Sakura, he would be the lucky one! “Mmaybe a little boy. Sometimes... I can picture him... he has your dark eyes, your beautiful smile, your soft hair, your compassion... “ Sakura! How was she so perfect? How? A little boy like him! Tears poured, dripping from his chin. “I’m sorry Lee! I didn’t -”

“Do you mean it? Really?” He could not stop smiling, “Sakura! You would make such a good Mom! You just, I love so you and yes -!” Come on hands! Stop stuttering! 

Ugh, nevermind! Pulling her into his arms, he kissed her, deep and impassioned, sliding his hands up the back of her shirt, stroking her lush skin. Delicate hands gripped his biceps and the world gave way.

“Alright break it up. No one’s havin’ kids on my watch.” Pakkun pried them apart. Lee groaned. Great, doggy chaperone. “Come on, Sakura, let’s go home, it’s late.” He tugged her shirt sleeve with his teeth.

“Ssorry Lee, I think I should go.” Aww, okay.

“Wait, before you leave, I almost forgot, Tenten wants to go on a double date tomorrow. Would you like to?” Lee signed. Yes! She smiled! Slipping on her jeans, he covered his eyes as she changed shirts.

“Done.” Okay... Actually… In his closet, he found a dark green hoodie and pulled it over her head.

“We cannot forget that part.” Plus she enjoyed his clothes. 

“Thank you.” She said. Yes! Taking her hand, he walked her to the window and opened it. At least it stopped raining. Should he walk her home? Pakkun hopped onto the roof and waited. Perhaps it was unnecessary.

“Until tomorrow, my love.” He kissed her hand. “I will pick you up.” 

“Very smooth, kid.” Pakkun said, tugging on her sleeve. Sakura let him drag her away, waving over her shoulder.

After closing his window, he flopped onto his bed, turned off the light, and hugged his pillow. Could he be any luckier? Not only did his girlfriend sneak out in the middle of the night to see him, he learned she daydreamed about having kids together! Perhaps one day...

The next day, Lee breezed through his morning and afternoon training without paying much attention to any of it. No matter how hard he tried, he could not focus. Tenten whacked him over the head with her Bo staff twice! Perhaps staying up late was not his brightest idea... Dad pulled him aside.

“While I understand adjusting to all of this is hard on both of you, be sure not to make these late nights a habit.” Dad said. Of course he knew! “I’m sure Kakashi’s talked to Sakura too.” Lee drooped. The one time she finally reached out for help, and she got in trouble. Surely she would not come again, no matter how bad her nightmares got.

“Yes, Dad.” Lee said. Hopefully whatever Kakashi-sensei said, he did not discourage her from bothering Lee. She believed she did that enough. “I will be careful.”

“I knew you would!” Dad pat his head. “Alright, I’ll call today’s session a little early, due to a certain evening event, but you three better be ready to work extra hard tomorrow!”

“Yes! Thank you, Dad!” Of course he would make up all the work tomorrow! A chorus of thank you’s echoed behind him as Tenten and Neji ran over.

“Ready to go?” Tenten said.

“Yes I will -”

“Hold on, what are you going to wear?”

“...Definitely not my jumpsuit!” Lee said. Not anymore, going by her tone and Neji’s shaking head over her shoulder. “I will pick up Sakura and meet you two at the Dango Shop?”

“Deal!” Tenten said.

After heading home to change, ending up with a pair of black jeans and a green jumper, he went to Kakashi-sensei’s and knocked on the balcony door. No one was visible, but Shiba let him in. Where were they? Did Sakura forget?

“Have a sit, dude.” Shiba said as Kakashi-sensei walked in from the stairway. “Sakura fell asleep waitin’ for you, like ten minutes ago.” Oh... “I’ll get her.”

“Hello, Kakashi-sensei.” Lee said. This was so strange still, “Uh, what time does Sakura need to be home?”

“What time does Guy give you?” He asked, hanging his flak jacket on a hook by the door.

“My curfew is ten.” Though it was rare for him to ever be out that late.

“Then let’s go with nine thirty.” Kakashi-sensei signed as Sakura entered, led by Shiba, dressed in a short, flowy pink dress. Cute! Waving at Lee, she handed Kakashi-sensei a packet of papers, who looked them over. “Good, go have fun.” What was that?

“Thank you, Ssensei.” Sakura said, then hugged him before taking Lee’s hand and dragged him out the door, down the stairs, Pakkun trailing after. Once outside, Lee had to know.

“Did you get into trouble?” He signed, she nodded as they walked down the street.

“Yes! So mmuch trouble!” She did? Sakura had the biggest smile, was she crying? “We’re outside! Kakashi-sensei said I wworried him,” She held up her hands, tears staining her cheeks, “They wwork! And I can wwalk! Guess what?”

“What?” It was all he could say. Outside? As in, not locked in? Hands work? Walking? What did all this mean?

“Nnothing hurts!” She threw her arms around him and sobbed, “I wwrote an essay. An essay… and we’re… wwe’re still… I’mm sorry, Lee… Kakashi-sensei wwanted an essay...” His chest tightened, how badly he failed to keep his promise... In the middle of the street, he held her as she wept. Years and years… How did he miss it? All this time… Never again. Sniffling, she stepped back and looked up at him with wet eyes, cheeks rosy, “This shirt is nnice, is it boyfriend mmaterial?”

“Sakura!” He could not help it and laughed, “No fair, making me laugh when you are sad.”

“I’m nnot sad,” She said, then did a twirl, “I amm spiraling into the unknown depths of the sea, wwhere reality meets my mmind with the grin of a trickster. Wwant to come?”

“What? I mean, I will follow you anywhere, my love! Onward, to the sea!” They giggled, oh they might be late if they do not hurry. Was Pakkun still following? He was...

“Sorry, I didn’t sleep mmuch.” She said, “Did you get into trouble?” He shook his head. Not really, Dad trusted him not to endanger his training. As they approached the shop, Tenten and Neji were leaning against the wall outside. In civilian clothes!

“Hello!” Lee said, Sakura’s grip on his arm tightened.

“Hey!” Tenten said, in baggy jeans and a lilac shirt that looked like a mini dress. “Let’s go, I’m starving!”

“It’s about time.” Neji said, arm around her waist, dark brown slacks and white sweater. His team was adorable!

The restaurant was bright, a layer of thin, lime carpet, and picnic style wooden tables rested along the walls, jutting into the room. Most were occupied with patrons eating sticky, syrupy dango. Once seated, they decided to order trays to share. Sakura tucked under his arm. 

“Wait -” He needed his hands to translate!

“It’s fine, I came prepared.” Tenten said, pulling a notepad from her bag. “By the way, Lee! Why didn’t you tell us you were teaching a sign language class? I would’ve totally signed up!”

“Oh, uh, it was sort of last minute.” Lee said as their order arrived.

“Nonetheless, you should’ve told us.” Neji said, biting into a dango. Would he have signed up too?

“You are right.”

It was going well! Tenten and Sakura exchanged notes, giggling occasionally as he and Neji discussed their last mission together. That was good, right? It went back and forth for a while before his curiosity got the best of him.

“What are you two talking about?” Lee said.

“Oh, just you guys.” Tenten said, winking. “Nothing to worry about.” Really?

“Is that so? I think we’d better see for ourselves.” Neji said, a playful smirk. “What do you think, Lee?” Nonchalant, Sakura untangled from his arm. A challenge?

“Yes, good idea.” Lee signed, grinning.

“Nope!” Sakura swiped the notepad from the table and darted out of reach.

“Neji!”

“On it!” Neji made a grab, but Sakura ducked and threw it underhand to Tenten, who danced away from Lee jumping over the table.

“Is that really the best you guys can do?” Tenten taunted, sticking her tongue out. We will see! Neji and Lee clutched air as she bent and twisted, notebook flapping. No! He was so close! His fingers brushed the binding and... yes! Yanking it from her grip, he looked down and... wait…

“This is blank.”

“What? Let me see.” Neji said, peering over his shoulder. Then Sakura giggled, held up a crinkled, torn page and stuck her tongue out. Of course! “You won’t get away with that.”

“Uh oh,” Sakura said, turning to run, but Lee grabbed her around the middle. That trick would not work twice! Tickling her sides, she squealed and wriggled, grip loosening, “Tenn-ten!” Tossing the ball, it fell short, rolling near the table leg, Neji got it first. Lee kissed Sakura’s cheek, not yet ready to let her go.

“While you two explore that, Sakura and I are going to the ladies’ room.” Tenten looped through Sakura’s arm and tugged her from Lee, down a hallway near the front of the restaurant. Yes! Best friends!

We’re having a slumber party at Hinata’s, you should come.  Tenten wrote. No boys allowed. (Sorry guys, but you both look super cute today.)  Aww!

I will ask permission.  Sakura wrote back, Lee’s cute yes. I mean, you and Neji are too. Sorry, I mean yes.  So adorably awkward! What do I bring?

Yourself, and clothes, things like that. Maybe Neji and Lee could have their own sleepover (HINT HINT) then Hinata can-

“We’re outta here.” Tenten stomped through the aisle, pulling Sakura, who watched the floor. What happened? Fishing money out of her purse, Tenten’s knuckles were red. Did she hit someone?

“Wait, I can -” Lee started.

“Pay me back later, let’s just leave.” She tossed bills on the table, grabbed Neji, and dragged them outside. Sakura withered, barely keeping up. “What a creep! Ugh, I should’ve taken out a few teeth!” Did someone mistreat them?

“What happened?” Neji asked at the same time as Lee, but Neji added, “Do I need to go back there? I know you can handle yourself, that’s not the point.”

“I keep forgetting how corny you are.” Tenten said, smiling. “It’s adorable. No, some jerk cornered Sakura in the hall, and when I told him to step off, he tried to pay us!”

“What for?” Lee asked. Stopping, she crossed her arms.

“He wanted sex.” Tenten said, a hard edge. “Lee, I’ve been to that shop hundreds of times, and that’s never happened! In fact, it’s never happened anywhere. Please tell me this woman isn’t actually going around telling people her daughter’s a prostitute?” What? “Ugh, let’s talk at my house.” Could it be true?

“I’mm sorry, Lee.” Sakura whispered. What would have happened if Tenten were not there? He did not want to think about it. Sakura could defend herself, but often did not…

“It is not your fault.” He signed, then took her hand.

In a subdivision behind the Hyuga Clan district, the cottages were cozy, one story, with spacious yards filled with neatly trimmed trees, bushes, and flowers. Gray, inset stone paths led from the street to each door, while fences, chain linked and wooden, separated the properties. Layers of ivy and luscious dark vine scaled the walls and rails, draping down thatching rooftops, adding to the quaint, whimsical charm of each house.

“Okay, my parents are cool, but try to keep quiet. I don’t want them to know we’re back yet.” Why not?

They entered an enclosed, tiled room beside an office. Slipping off sandals, they followed Tenten through a dining area. She pointed to a side door labeled Tenten  in big, bubble letters. A light went on to their right, illuminating a kitchen. A severe looking woman, in jeans and a flannel, darted out of a kitchen brandishing a fencing sword.

“En guarde, Munchkin!” She said, lunging, “I hope you practiced!”

“Crap! Stand back!” Tenten said, sword in hand. “Mom,” Where did she get that from? “Meet - Mom!” Blades clashed, metal sang as she was forced back. “Mother! Meet my friends!”

“Oh, hullo darlings!” Tenten’s mom said, stepping back to sheathe her weapon.

‘Munchkin?’ Lee mouthed, Tenten glared. But, adorable nickname!

“Moptop.” She hissed back. Okay, fair.

“Tora, we have visitors! Ah, Neji, my future son in law! How are you, darling?” Tenten’s mom lost some severity to a smile.

“Hello, Mrs. Mei-Mei. I’m well, thank you.”

“Moth-er! We’re not engaged!” Tenten said, placing her weapon with others on a rack by her door.

“You must be Lee! And this is Sakura?” Leaning down, her rich tone turned soft, “You two need anything, you come here, okay? Good.” An older man poked in from around the corner, a thick mustache, weather beaten skin, and a bright smile.

“Hey Munchkin!” He kissed her head. This must be Tenten’s dad! “Hullo Munchkin’s friends. Alright, Mei-Mei, Dearest Treasure, we’ve bothered them enough. You kids make yourselves at home, drink and snacks are in the kitchen.”

“Yes, yes, if anyone wants to spar, we’ll be out back!” Mrs. Mei-Mei said, dragging Mr. Tora away.

“Uh, it was nice meeting you.” Lee said. “Spar?” That could be fun! Tenten rolled her eyes, but smiled, and swung open her bedroom.

Tenten’s bedroom, about the same size as his, was covered in her personality. Beside a sliding closet, half the wall was dart board, filled with darts, kunai, and shuriken, blown up detective novel covers layered the opposite side over a case of books and board games. In the corner, a card table with a half finished puzzle under a desk lamp. What surprised him most was the vanity table, decorated with fuzzy stickers, hair accessories, and glitter.

“Just sit anywhere.” She said, hopping on her bed beside Neji. Lee took her chair and nudged Sakura onto his lap. “Okay, so is it possible?” Right...

“I… would not be surprised.” Lee said. “I wish I was, but…” It would explain why Kakashi-sensei sent his ninken.

“Well I say we talk to Guy-sensei about it tomorrow.” Neji said.

“Yes.” Lee signed, then a thought struck him, “Sakura, has this happened before?” How else would Kakashi-sensei know? Tensing, she nodded, a short twitch, like she did not want to, he sighed.

“This Ms. Haruno’s a real piece of work.” Tenten said, shaking her head. “Okay, who’s up for scrabble? Us versus you two, winners pick the next game.”

Dear Lee, 

My birthday is January 19th, when is yours? I don’t know. I have followed your advice with some mixed results. Kankuro loved it, and laughed very much. He expects it will continue to break ice, somehow. Unbroken ice seems far more useful to me, but he insists this is a good thing. I don’t know how you do it so much, my voice hurts. Some of my allies were shocked by my outburst, but have since treated me with more... humanity. Others were simply shocked.  So thanks, but I still have a long way to go. Feel free to visit any time.

~Gaara


	36. Espresso Release: Redeye

The night air was thick and heavy. Iruka’s lungs were damp, coated with mist as he slipped through Sakura’s window. A cursory wave of his flashlight revealed small, sparse furniture saturated with gloom and an unnatural, bizarre neatness he’d never attribute to a child’s bedroom. He pursued her personal things with an uncomfortable distaste, rummaging around her little desk drawers. 

In the last drawer, beneath a stack of blank paper, was a stash of handwritten notes. Sticky notes clung together with old, weak adhesive, stacked atop one another by color. Beneath, bound with ribbon, torn notepad sheets with curled or crinkled edges, splotches of ink. Placing his tiny light between his teeth, Iruka pulled them apart. Several years of degradation, neglect, threats of violence, abandonment, and isolation stained the pages in Mebuki’s own handwriting. In the margins, an occasional personal comment from Sakura - water makes sound, white towels are bad, dust is everywhere…  Iruka tucked the lot into his jacket, a thick, heavy burden against his chest. 

The deadbolt on her door surprised him, scratches etched in the metal around the keyhole from an unsteady hand. Stalking the halls, disturbed by the cold, apathetic decor, haunted rather than lived in, Iruka searched Mebuki’s room next. The empty bottle of scotch under her pillow made him swallow hard. Unwilling to touch it, he pressed on, finding an alarming number beneath the bed and in the closet. Iruka soon found himself seeking bottles alone, as if he were on a twisted scavenger hunt. Beneath the bathroom garbage bag, under the sink, tucked around her clothes, even in the toilet tank. Twenty-seven, some empty, most not. He didn’t want to check the rest of the house, but performed the task nonetheless.

Finding no further evidence, he departed for Hokage Tower and knocked on Lady Tsunade’s sleeping quarters. The displeasure and annoyance on her face turned to stone in light of his purpose. In her flowy nightgown, at midnight hour, she dragged him up to her office and wrote a slapdash order granting temporary custody to Kakashi until an investigation resolved.

In the mouth of a messenger bird, said order flew from Iruka’s hand under the night sky, over treetops, and dipped inconspicuously toward a ninja on a high perch as he drifted to the sound of leaves ruffling in the wind. Dropping onto his lap, the letter jolted Kakashi from his brief lull. He peeled it open, thanked Iruka’s diligence, and tucked it away. Sakura was reading by candlelight, an interruption was in order.

Well into Mebuki’s work hours, they returned to the village. Kakashi parted ways at the gate for home, to prepare for Sakura’s arrival. Nothing laborious, notifying his ninken and setting the heat to a comfortable temperature, a hair warmer than his personal preference, then set off for Guy’s. The upcoming conversation would be complicated, Sakura may not understand, but her misery was coming to a close, though he wasn’t foolish enough to believe it lacked scars. From down the block, he heard the screaming.

An odd sort of calm fell over him as he entered into the aftermath of a horror scene. Lee stood frozen, clutching a stack of books, eyes fixed on Mebuki as if she were a stranger and not the woman who tended to him growing up. Given the chance, Kakashi would’ve spared him this moment, spared him the vision he was sure to see again and again. Turning on the wrestling pair, Kakashi met Guy’s gaze, then delivered a bloodless, innocuous strike, rendering Mebuki unconscious. It was far more than she deserved.

“Go check on Sakura, we’ll be right there.” Guy said, but Lee didn’t move. “Lee?”

“Yes, sorry Dad.” He tore his eyes from Mebuki’s form and retreated, clutching the texts.

“Summoning jutsu!” Pakkun appeared. “I need you to go to the hospital, find Oyone in the emergency center, and bring her here. I’ll explain later.”

Pakkun nodded and left as Guy put a hand on his shoulder. They turned toward Mebuki, sprawled face down on the carpet, unmoving. A momentary desire to move her somewhere comfortable, a Hidden Leaf Shinobi, a comrade, a servant of their village, left a sour aftertaste to the wreckage as they stepped outside. For a moment, they stood in silence. The cool night air brought in by a steady East wind. Kakashi sensed Guy’s internal struggle, who’s desires to embrace him bordered overwhelming, and was grateful for the restraint. While he’d grown to appreciate his partner’s physical nature, he preferred distance in the wake of conflict.

Oyone arrived shortly and they went inside, sitting around Guy’s kitchen table with Lee while she assessed Sakura’s injuries, taking the opportunity to elaborate on the events leading to this foul evening. Within the hour, Oyone returned, slipping off disposable medical gloves.

“Alrigh’ mates, no permanent damage.” She said. The room itself breathed. “She’s got a mild concussion, some brain contusion... Expect possible stuttering or slurring, fatigue, confusion, coordination issues, headaches, dizziness, and light or sound sensitivity. If she has severe memory issues or seizures, or if any of these symptoms persist more than a few weeks, bring ‘er in.”

“Can I go sit with her?” Lee asked.

“Lee, you should get some rest.” Kakashi said, “She’ll likely sleep through the night.”

“Please let me! I have to watch over Sakura.” Exhausted, overwhelmed, emotionally spent, but standing firm… Kakashi couldn’t help his twinge of approbation for the young Shinobi. Definitely Guy’s kid.

“Go ahead Lee,” Guy said, “but be sure to sleep.” It wouldn’t be the first time they’d slept together on the couch.

“Jus’ be gentle, lad.” Oyone said, Lee nodded and disappeared around the corner. “I mended much o’ the tissue damage and internal bruising, but she’ll have a nasty face on the morrow.”

“Thank you Oyone.” Guy said. “I realize house calls are unprecedented.”

“No, no, I understand.” She said, then yawned. “Right, well, I’m knackered, so I best goin’. My report’ll be on the Hokage’s desk first thing. Luck to you mates, that dusty trollop's as mad as a bag o’ ferrets. If you be needin’ a skilled hand to meet ‘er in a dark alley, I’m free on Sundays.”

“Noted.” Kakashi said. “Thanks again, Oyone.” She mumbled and waved her hand dismissively on her way out. “Do you mind if we stay tonight?” The energy to carry himself and Sakura home left with the doctor. Guy approached and caressed his hands, tugging him up from the chair.

“You know you never have to leave if you don’t want to.” Guy said. An old conversation, one he dare not tire of, fell from his lips. Teasing Kakashi’s head protector, he slid his fingers beneath the soft cloth and lifted, then kissed the marred flesh of his eyelid. “It would be a tight fit, the four of us, but-”

“Guy…” Kakashi couldn’t explain his desire to keep his apartment, though a small, irrational voice feared letting Guy see his lurking shadows, the battles fought alone in the deep, lonely corners of his sleepless mind. On severe, endless nights, teen Kakashi would appear in Guy’s living room or bedroom, desperate to be distracted from his grief and torment. Time gives as much as it takes, and mercifully, such evenings became rare.

“I know.” Guy said, and he did. Better than Kakashi realized. “Come on, tomorrow’s sun rises with new promises.” Despite the indifferent response, Guy grinned on their way upstairs. Kakashi appreciated his words, he didn’t need to show it.

Thanks to Oyone’s report of Sakura’s injuries, Lady Tsunade pushed the adoption process through at breakneck speed, with one hurdle to go. Kakashi and Guy stood in her office, attempting to rouse a name willing to perform Sakura’s inquiry. Someone both neutral and placid.

“I’d hardly call Iruka unbiased, which is, for the record, your fault.” Lady Tsunade said. “The last thing you need is room for doubt.”

“That’s true.” Guy said. It was fortunate their opinion was being considered at all. “I agree he’d technically get the job done, but Ibiki Morino-”

“Is a sadist.” Kakashi cut him off. It wasn’t personal, the man was good at his job, but Ibiki would no doubt insist on being alone with Sakura. “How about Tenzō? I mean Yamato. As a member of Anbu Black Ops, surely he’d be well suited.” Guy gave him a quizzical glance, before a subtle thumbs up. If anything he did could be called subtle.

“Hmm… he served under you in your Anbu days…” Lady Tunade liked Yamato. He got things done, was more meticulous in his work than most, and respected the hat, even if she didn’t keep it on. “Shizune, call him in. Let’s see if he’s willing.” Ready to have this whole affair over with, she shuffled through some papers, more force of habit than necessity.

“I’m on it.” Shizune returned a moment later with him in tow.

After the briefing, Yamato considered the mission as the others watched on. Acting as a neutral party was an easy skill. Anbu were well trained in the art, despite the mask. However, he had little to no experience with children. Kakashi, whom he respected and admired a great deal, asked for him by name. Solitary, apathetic Kakashi, who wanted to adopt this kid. Inwardly, he credited Guy’s positive influence, cultivating sprouts in the wake of a forest fire. While Kakashi’s kind and honorable heart demanded he act on the behalf of others, he remained stubbornly unattached, coolly providing objective justifications for his compassionate deeds. Yamato wanted to meet the kid who charmed her way into his personal bubble.

A week later, he snuck into Kakashi’s new flat and danced around Sakura’s view until comfortably hidden in the kitchen. He leaned against the chintzy laminate countertop and particle board cabinet, mentally reviewing the signs he practiced.

Satisfied, he peeked around the corner. She wasn’t quite what he pictured: bold pink hair a stark contrast to the pale skin, tiny stature, and anxious disposition. Watching her struggle to finish her meal, a lack of nutrition may be responsible. Then again, he wouldn’t know what size someone her age should be. Kakashi returned and wrapped the leftovers.

“This isn’t going to be easy, she hasn’t said a word to anyone about her mother, like she’s still protecting her.” Kakashi said.

“To be honest, I never thought it would be.” Yamato said, “Transform. Is this really going to help?”

“I know it’s strange, but she’s a little shy around strangers.”

“If you say so.”

Clearly Sakura trusted almost no one. Smart kid. Yamato liked her more already, amused as they played ring around Kakashi after the balcony chase. Once they began the tough questions, he inferred Kakashi’s attachment. From petrified and hesitant, seeking support and security, to an empty, hollow shell. After filling out his report, Yamato debated adding a personal note, considering the importance of his decorum, but cast caution aside and did it anyway. If nothing else, he never worked with Mebuki, and hopefully, never would.

*Note - The acknowledgement of abuse claims were verbally minimal, as reported above, but the subject displayed abnormal cognitive distance as questioning continued. I am of the opinion continued inquisitions are unnecessary.

At Sakura’s beside, Kakashi hovered over Lady Tsunade’s shoulder, a nurse at the other, as she performed a full scan with her jutsu. As Sakura’s recently appointed, soon to be permanent guardian, he was authorized to stay. It seemed unfair to Guy, who, along with Lee, was stuck behind a patient privacy curtain, twitchy and agitated, but Kakashi didn’t protest. Lady Tsunade hmm’ed and clicked her tongue, a noisy worker over the beeps, then let out what could only be described as a frustrated growl.

“Someone get me her chart!” She shouted at the nurse, who rushed to pass her a clipboard. “No, I want all of her medical records! Where’s the rest?”

“I swear that’s it, m’lady.” The nurse said, “Not a stitch in ‘er background.”

“What is it?” Kakashi asked. Not much would surprise him. At least, he thought so.

"The bones in her wrist weren’t set correctly after a break. It looks old. When I get my hands on whoever treated this, I’ll have them for malpractice! It’s like it was done by a-” Her voice caught, her hand flew to her mouth and she stared at him, horrified. Kakashi let his shoulders drop further; knowing what her next words would be. “A child.”

Curtain rings clinked against a metal rail and Guy was at his side. Kakashi willed every ounce of his logical mind not to blame himself. If he’d been warmer, more invested, Sakura might’ve confided in him. In the end, Mebuki was to blame.

“Kakashi?” Guy, ever vigilant, recognized the minute change. Unconcerned with the present company, he delivered reassurance by stealing both of Kakashi’s hands. Healing scrapes, bumps, bruises were one thing... Bones were a different matter.

“I’m fine.” Kakashi said. “Is there anything to be done?” 

“My advice? Reset the bones immediately. If I do it, her recovery will only take a few weeks” Lady Tsunade said. “At this rate, you’ll get Sakura’s adoption on neglect alone.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be neutral?” Kakashi didn’t know why he asked.

“Screw neutral, this kid is malnourished to top it all. If you don’t take her, she’s not going back there, that’s for damn sure.”

“Speaking of,” Kakashi said. “How are we doing on the investigation?” 

“I don’t understand what’s taking so long.” Guy said. Since Sakura’s removal, Mebuki spent more time at bars, stumbling home half unaware. Until her apprehension, it’s possible she’d do something reckless in her disturbed state.

“I’m not sure...” Lady Tsunade said. “I’ve issued a warrant, but nothing came of it. I have a meeting with the Chief of Police tomorrow morning, and I expect answers. In the meantime, I’ll get her surgery scheduled before I leave. May as well do it while she’s here. Agreed?”

“Agreed.” Kakashi said. It would take time for Sakura to settle in anyway.

“Good. I’ll let you two know what comes of tomorrow’s meeting.” She said, then left, closing the door behind her. On the bed, Lee held Sakura on his lap, talking quietly, stroking her hair.

“She’ll return soon.” Guy said. “I’m sure of it.”

“What makes you say that?” Kakashi asked.

“You came back, didn’t you?” He smiled and kissed his cheek.

“... That was different.” 

“Yes, but look at them. Lee won’t ever give up on her, and I don’t think Sakura can stay away anymore than you could.” That’s true, but Kakashi’s life halfway in the twilight zone lasted years. “Charm must run in the family!”

“More like stubbornness.” It was not a criticism. Guy’s stubbornness saved his life.

Taking Guy’s hand, Kakashi approached the kids, noting Sakura’s eyes were half open, fixed on nothing, empty. It was almost eerie, how much it resembled his own glassy stare before he learned the relief it brought was fleeting. At least he had the sense to maintain some semblance of functionality back then.

“I think we’ve waited long enough.” He sounded more confident than he was. Starting his stamina timer, he tugged up his headband.

It was strenuous. Without limbs, Kakashi dove into a deep ocean, waves sloshing and churning, struggling to eject him, the foreign creature invading their dark, expansive waters. He searched the abyss, fighting the torrential current endeavoring to force him out. Apparently their genjutsu lessons were going well. Pressure compressed him from all sides, like he was a balloon refusing to pop. Whispers pervaded his senses, unintelligible, suffocating as he swam down through the blackness.

Finally, shades of blue penetrated the dark, as if a light were held up to the bottom of a tinted world. Down below, stuck in the mud, he waded to a well made of stone, chipped, covered with layers of rolling green moss, filled to the brim with nothing. Despite having no form, he expected it to feel rough or cold, but it didn’t. Peering down the long, black tunnel, the nothing peered back. Though he couldn’t see her, Sakura was at the bottom. Tiny puffs of dread and loathing rippled to the surface and bubbled on the blackness, as if her mind held pockets of air, willing her to breathe. Pushing on the nothing, the nothing pushed back with equal force. Interesting.

Go away.  Very interesting. Hello Belle, and no. With more force, Kakashi pressed into the nothing, but the nothing pressed back. Go away!  No. Please?  The answer is no. Around him, the current surged, throwing him upwards from the well. Sakura loves you, you’re free now. Leave.  No, come home. He resisted, halting his rise to the surface, and began regaining lost distance through the heavy stream. Go find something better to do!  No. Desperate.

The force became a maelstrom, wrenching him toward the abyss. Flailing, he struggled and fought, fearing to lose sight of the shrinking well. Leave!  No! If he could just get to it... The sea broiled without heat, four, small, clear bottles rose from the muddy crust and burst into powder, unaffected by the cataclysm. Pathetic, regret, please don’t- an image - Kakashi jolted as Mebuki slapped him, he fell backward, rolling down a staircase into a musty cellar, head cracking against the wall. Pain spiked through his skull, pink hair falling over his face, the door shut, stealing the last bit of light, then it was gone.

Stop it! Panic.  The vortex weakened, and he waded toward the stone pit. Wh-what do you want?  A figure rippled between him and the well, taller and older than Sakura with short hair, dressed in shadows, another barrier. Belle, move. ...Why?  Move aside, Sakura’s leaving. Alarm. Don’t break it!  Almost there, time was running out. If he could sweat, he would be. Steam rose from the nothing ,  curling white tendrils. D-don’t come any closer.  Belle backed away from him, terror, panic,  until she bumped rock. Please?

Another set of bottles broke through, rising from the cracks. Stay home, worthless,  Mebuki grabbed him, dragged him to the stove and held his arm across the kettle spout, electric coils aglow, water already hot, he sobbed, apologies dribbled from his lips. It woke her too early. Fear.  Scalding steam shot out and scorched his flesh, he bit back a scream. No sound.  Kakashi cast it away. Please stop doing that!

As he approached, Belle fell back until she lay sprawled over the pit, panting in still waters. Don’t!  Stand aside. She shook her head, then flinched as his presence hovered over the well. … Will it hurt? Kakashi faltered. Will what hurt? She doesn’t want to die, just to stop burdening everyone.  That’s not... she won’t be harmed. … Promise?  Yes. No more bottles?  That wasn’t intentional. It doesn’t matter.  Right, fine. No more bottles. Unease...

Belle hesitated, then rolled off, granting him access to the nothing.  It rippled under his pressure, but didn’t give, and he nearly sulked. No enemy he encountered had such a thing in place, and those possessing the Sharingan had no need. A mental barrier designed to keep everything out, including senses. Effective, but left the body vulnerable. If it were almost anyone else, she might’ve succeeded.

Figure it out?  Maybe. Focusing on his image, Kakashi willed his chakra to take shape until he had a body, flickering as if on the wrong frequency. Sorry. It’s fine. Kneeling over the pool, he peered into the nothing.  Belle sat across from him, propped up on elbows, head in her hands. What now? Amused.  Peeved. Not helping. Love, respect. If anyone can, it’s you.

…She was really making him do this... As he stared into the nothing,  he pictured Sakura, not at the bottom of a hole, but somewhere bright. Weaving hand signs, he created a genjutsu, and the water fell, as if it were suspended rain all along, soaking into the soil. Green crawled up, the beginnings of grass. Dipping his hands into the nothing, Kakashi tipped forward, breached the glossy, black surface, and fell. In his mind, he took her hands, comfort, fondness, then tugged.

A familiar presence, muted, confused.  Come back, Sakura. Of course she resisted. Reassurance. He allowed his emotions to surface and spill. Concern, understanding, love. She was in the expansive field, daffodils. Of course it would be... Flickering, he reached for her. Rin, standing behind her, smiled at him, he ached, and Sakura wept.

Kakashi lay awake in the dead of night, listening to Sakura shuffle around their apartment with restless and troubled steps. Bumping into objects, mumbling, straightening and re-straightening over and over. Another of those nights. Throwing back the blankets, he shadowed her footsteps to the living room as she walked into the wall between the kitchen and dining.

“Ssorry.”

“Pick up night lights.” He said, more to himself as she turned, almost bumping him. Sleepwalking. She was sleepwalking. Or rather, sleep cleaning. “Hmm... should I wake you?” A jolt to reality could prove problematic.

“T... tr...bubble…” She stumbled around in a circle. If not for the tormented, disturbed nature of her evening walkabout, it might’ve been cute. Fumbling with the handle, she opened the front door and stepped into the hall, turning another circle, wobbling towards the staircase.

“That answers that.” Kakashi scooped her up before she broke her neck, and swept back inside, taking care to avoid her wrist.

“I’mmsorry, please...” Half-hearted, weak attempts to wiggle from his arms, shaking… Kakashi placed her on the couch, she curled up, he flipped on the light. “K-Kakashi-sensei?” Wide, fearful eyes scanned the room before the tension seeped from her shoulders. 

‘I’m not going to hurt you.’ He signed. Issuing the reminder seemed appropriate. ‘You almost fell down the stairs.’

‘I’m sorry.’ She signed, avoiding eye contact. ‘Thank you, I am okay now.’ Still a poor liar.

“A door alarm of some kind... I’ll put bells on the hinge.” Being fast asleep as she endangered herself was out of the question, along with installing Sakura proof locks. ‘I think I’ll stay here anyway. I don’t feel like sleeping.’ With the finesse of a magician, Kakashi plucked his book from the shelf behind him and plopped onto the couch. ‘Why don’t you get a book?’ Neither would sleep well otherwise. She nodded, then went to her room, returning with a paperback: Leaves and Petals.  Long ago, he noticed her attachment and subtly swapped her library copy for a store bought. ‘If you’re going with poetry, how about reading out loud?’

‘But, I sound...’

‘If you don’t like it, you can stop.’

He expected the hesitation and nervousness. What he didn’t expect was for her to grab a pillow and climb under his arm for a cuddle. This was Guy’s fault somehow, he was sure of it.

The following morning, dawn broke over the Hidden Leaf, heat gave life to a viscous, temperate fog, a gift from the evening dew. Tucking a sizable, square box under his arm, Guy turned Kakashi’s apartment handle slowly, to avoid rousing the occupants. Behind him, Lee held a paper bag of breakfast ingredients and an unshakable, joyous smile, which struggled with laughter as they entered.

Guy nearly dropped their gift, fighting to control his amusement with a hand over his mouth. Kakashi and Sakura were curled up on the corner of the couch, half covered with an afghan, each with a book nearby. Sakura used hers as a pillow on Kakashi’s stomach, while his teetered towards the floor, one hand on her hair like he’d fallen asleep petting it. Passing Lee the box, Guy gave himself a new mission.

‘Don’t wake them, go ahead and start breakfast.’ He signed, making a camera motion. Lee nodded and tiptoed into the kitchen. If not for the purpose, Kakashi would’ve been proud of how light Guy’s steps were as he padded into his bedroom closet, returning with an old fashioned, but functional lens. After snapping a few photos, he stuck it into his vest for development and made for the stove to assist his young partner in crime.

Yawning, Kakashi untangled from his miniature captor, then, ignoring the clang of cookware, made his way down to the locker wall of mailboxes, barefoot and underdressed. Despite his lingering grog, he managed to insert his key with flawless accuracy, one of his more obscure talents. Toting a thin stack of envelopes back up the creaky staircase into his apartment, he planned to toss them on his dresser for future Kakashi to deal with when a peculiar envelope, stamped with the Hokage seal, slipped from his fingers and glided to the carpet. Konoha Finance Division.  Thinking it must be a mistake, he scooped it up and scrutinized the recipient address: Pay to the order of Kakashi Hatake.

Entirely focused on the mystery envelope containing a mystery check, he failed to notice Guy pop out of his kitchen until heavy arms wrapped around his waist and a kiss placed on his masked cheek.

“Good morning, handsome!” Guy said, fluffing his partner’s amazing bed hair, “I see Sakura’s still asleep. Don’t worry about breakfast, I’m on it.” Breakfast, and a perfect housewarming gift. Absently Kakashi nodded, prying apart the glued flap. “What’ve you got there?” Since moving, Guy’s taken to visiting more often, much to Kakashi’s unabashed delight. At least he no longer needed to feign enjoyment of his dreadful brewed muck disguised as coffee.

“A check for supplemental income and a notice terminating child support payments from Kizashi. You know anything about this?”

Apparently Mebuki had more reason to keep Sakura from leaving than they thought. The Third Hokage was a generous man and viewed each villager as close family, so this shouldn’t be as surprising as it was.

“No…” Guy read over his shoulder. “I had no idea Mebuki received any income beyond Anbu, I didn’t think Kizashi could be much of a provider in his situation.” A darker picture of her motivations formed as they shared a glance. “This isn’t good.”

“It’s worse. This other letter says the checks terminate if Sakura herself gets an income.” Kakashi sighed and leaned against Guy.

“What are you going to do with it?”

“I’ll talk with the Finance Division and put a stop to these, then talk with the Hokage. I doubt she knew about it. What I don’t get is why Mebuki sold Sakura’s clothes if she intends on getting her back.”

“Guy-sensei!” Sensing danger, Kakashi stepped aside as a pink-haired blur launched into Guy’s arms, squeezing like she hadn’t seen him in months.

“Aww I missed you too!” Guy let his tears run freely as Lee popped under his arm. He gathered the pair as if they weighed no more than toddlers. If any chill remained in the day, it was long gone. “Alright you two, go on and set the table.” 

“Okay!” 

As they set about the task, Kakashi took their place in his arms. Guy was struck again, a fresh wave of tears dripped from his chin, in awe of his blessings and joyful domesticity. Kakashi leaned up for a kiss when a thick, harsh scent penetrated his mask, a bitter undertone to the pancake batter. 

“Guy... are you making coffee?” There was no mistaking that smell, but he hoped against all hope to find travel mugs on the counter.

“That’s right! Lee and I picked out a coffee pot just like the one at our house, so you’ll never miss out! I promise to make my specialty every morning!” Guy’s smile was blinding. Long ago, teen Kakashi, caught once again in his kitchen in the wee hours, professed his love for the deliciously strong brew. It was the only time Guy ever heard him stutter.

“You truly are the perfect man.” Kakashi said, brushing their noses. At the time, the confession wasn’t meant for the coffee. Oh well. “It’s a wonder you don’t have people falling at your feet.”

“I only have eyes for you.” Guy said. “My beautiful, selfless, strong rival, and the coolest man I’ve ever met.” Kakashi shook his head.

“You’re way cooler, and you don’t even have to try.”

“Awww.” Two voices chorused, he turned to find two starry-eyed teens with a camera peeking around the corner. The camera that mysteriously vanished from his vest.

An hour later, gravel crunching underfoot, Guy and Kakashi headed towards Hokage tower to collect their next missions. Around them, civilians blissfully went about their business, paying no mind to the Shinobi sprinkled throughout the activity. Said Shinobi, however, paid extra attention to their surroundings, a heightened awareness brought on by years of staying alive in their deadly profession.

Kakashi wasn’t unaware, book in hand, he simply projected he was unaware, and didn’t miss the scowling, nasty stares. Most of his comrades didn’t believe a word of Mebuki’s lies, save for those who didn’t know him, whom he’d never met, who considered the possibility. It was ignorable. It took a rare, stupid breed of ninja to mess with them in any direct conflict. No, instead they received hate mail in their work bins. With a graceful sleight of hand, Kakashi slipped a bundle from Guy’s box into his pocket. Guy possessed immeasurable fortitude and willpower, but he had Tenten to consider. If any of the letters mentioned her, it would’ve devastated him. After a polite knock, they entered Lady Hokage’s office, wondering how long until the rumors would need to be addressed. From the look on her face, not long at all.

“Kakashi, Guy, I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of hearing this crap already.” Lady Tsunade said, rubbing her temples. There was no question in her mind the whispered hearsay was false, but the incessant buzz wreaked havoc on her already tense muscles and she wanted nothing more than to head to the bar. Instead she leaned over her desk to relieve the ache in her back.

“Very.” Guy said, though more for Kakashi than himself, and Sakura, who was affected the most.

“The last thing I expected to have to deal with taking this job was seasoned Shinobi gossiping like old ladies.”

“What should we do about it?” Kakashi asked. There wasn’t much to do, short of gathering every Shinobi in the village and addressing the questions directly. If it would keep bold young men from approaching Sakura, however, he would gladly have that conversation.

“Nothing for now.” Lady Tsunade said, grumbling. “Until someone issues a formal complaint, or you two have any specific grievances, I’m electing to ignore this nonsense. I called you here to discuss Mebuki’s arrest. Apparently there’s a conflict of interest regarding the Chief of Police, so I’ve dispatched Anbu, but apparently Yumena failed to pull her from active duty and she went on her team’s last mission. I’ve received reports from Mayumi and Keiko, she and Daiji were detained. The local village disagreed with the way their dead were handled. I’m working on getting them out, but it’ll take some time.”

“Great…” Yet another delay. Kakashi sighed. Something about this left him unsettled. “Have you given any thought to the class?”

“Right! Kakashi’s been working with Sakura and Lee for years, you can be sure the language is reliable!” Guy said.

“I’m sure.” Lady Tsunade said, “Alright, we’ll give it a test run. Teams can volunteer to take the course together, then we’ll see if there’s a benefit on the field. If you can find a teacher, that is.”

“I’m sure we’ll come up with something.”


End file.
